Chapter 5: Our Sun Burns Cold

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Welcome to the longest update I've ever had in any story. This chapter is long simply because it didn't make sense to break it up into two smaller chapters. I'm on a roll with this story, and I hope to update this every week (once or twice) due to me having a bit more time at my office to dedicate to this story. PLEASE REREAD ALL EARLIER CHAPTERS! There are MANY details you will miss if you do not.

UPDATE: This chapter begins the story's present. The chapters 1-4 were added in so that readers could have some context to the past. This story will not be focusing much on the past beyond adding context or filling in gaps. They will also be presented through memories or small moments when someone is thinking privately. The plot of the story begins in Jane's 27th year. Thanks.

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"She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands,
appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness
could be divided into its infinite spectrum."

― Jonathan Safran Foer

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Jane's twenty-sixth year (hours later)

Sadness drifted and danced through the particles in the breeze. Jane's features waned to fit the heavy frown against the muscles that tried to pry a smile at her mouth. Her dark eyes glossed as they peered over the dark horizon of stars from where she stood.

Loki was dead.

He once stood where Heimdall took watch. While they hadn't allowed anyone else of their private relationship, Loki and Jane used to come here so she could learn about the variety of twinkling lights and fading galaxies. Loki knew so much from his time travelling, and Jane had always capitalized on such magnificent knowledge.

Jane closed her eyes and listened to the soundless void. Some time had passed since she came here to listen for his voice. Periodically, she felt him: his hand on her shoulder, his fingers caressing her body after kissing her senselessly, his body hovering over hers as she lies in wait as his feast.

She loved that man, and he had dragged her through every pit of hell imaginable. If anyone cared to ask her opinion on the undisclosed subject, Jane would have spent a thousand lifetimes repeating the time they had shared. He'd given her only one gift in their brief time shared together, and even that needed to be a secret to the world.

One day she would right the wrongs Loki had caused: even if she was alone in the endeavor.

Her thoughts drifted back to her most protected memories. Loki was always unreasonably private. She had learned to handle that. Loki demanded an irrational amount of faith and patience. She had learned to cope with that, too.

While Loki appeared to be relentless and uncouth, an untapped wildness within him had ultimately allowed her to dip her toes into what lied beneath his bitter, sometimes mindless exterior.

Loki had loved her. Once.

Most of all, Jane could not cope with the reality of him dying while not loving her. When she relived the day that Loki took over the throne in Odin's place while succumbed to Odin's sleep, she felt so small. Taking Odin's staff changed something within Loki.

Regardless, better days were ahead of her. Despite the constant bite at her heart in Loki's absence, she had much to be happy for. Moments such as these came only when she allowed herself to think.

Jane sighed quietly as she stood beside Heimdall staring out into the abyss of stars.

So much had happened since Loki's death on Midgard. The Tesseract was returned with Thor to Asgard to repair the rainbow bridge. Jane had expected to see Loki again. She knew he would be sentenced to exile: to rot away underneath Asgard's splendors.

But his sentencing never came. That was approximately three and a half years ago according to earth standards to date.

In the wake of her tremendous loss, Jane appeared to be strong for her family. She stared aimlessly in a looking glass and recited the same speech to herself every morning.

"She couldn't mourn for Loki. He was a betrayer. He was a killer. He was a liar. This whole mess was his fault."

So, her heart had hardened for her sake.

And perhaps for Thor's, too...The thought of marrying him still disgusted her. He was coarse, unrefined, loud, and brazen. While his company often accompanied her laughter, she couldn't imagine being his wife.

She clutched her chest as a small breeze clustered around her.

"My lady," Heimdall uttered against the brash silence.

Jane shook her head, "My name is Jane Foster."

"Jane Foster is a name not of your own," he echoed.

Her features tightened as she turned to face him, "Then who am I, Heimdall? Tell me, please, because I don't know anymore."

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Jane's twenty-seventh year

"Asgard has fallen," Jane solemnly observed.

The small group that followed behind her fanned out except the small form of a growing, young boy, who stood beside Jane tentatively.

Fire engulfed the surrounding area, causing the princess to strain a glance up toward the tall giant pillars filing into the large crossing.

"My lady, we should move quickly," a worried Sif suggested as she moved closer to Jane.

Jane swallowed and spared a look to Sif, "Take the remaining guards and find my family."

Sif withdrew her sword, "I was precisely instructed to not leave your side."

"If this represents the rest of Asgard, someone needs to find them. If they're hurt, you'll be able to protect them," she reasoned. Jane's attention wasn't on her, though. She remained alert for any sign of threat.

"What of the boy?" Sif questioned. "He cannot go with you on your search. It's too dangerous."

Jane spared a glimpse to Sif. She withdrew her weapons and turned her attention to the horizon, "He is not your concern."

Jane grabbed the weapon in her left hand with her right hand so she could pull out something from her chest plate. Without a word, she kneeled down before the boy and stared up at him.

He nodded and swallowed. "I've never killed anyone before," he said quietly.

The crackle of the fire cloaked some of his words to the group, but Jane heard them. She smiled and planted a kiss on the side of his head. "You know everything you need in order to protect yourself. I'm not asking you to kill anyone."

Jane reached out her hand and the boy took it without question. As she began to lead him in the opposite direction away from the group, Sif drew out her sword and rushed to the princess, stopping her in her path.

"Look at him, Jane! This child you protect mirrors him! The Allfather must be informed."

A guard drew close to the exchange and moved closer to Jane but said nothing. Jane's attention stilled over Sif. "Odin shall not have him in his collection."

Sif's weapon lowered. "Odin is the Allfather. I serve him and was instructed to find you. I shall not leave your side."

"I don't need you or anyone's help. I can do this on my own. I'm not some helpless child anymore," Jane retorted. Her eyes bore into Sif's, challenging her to provoke an altercation.

When Sif backed down, Jane turned to the others in the group, which comprised of two frost giants and an Asgardian guard likely following orders from Sif.

Jane again kneeled down before the boy and kissed his hands, "You need to disguise them. It's best that we not provoke even more outrage for now." Jane glanced over to the golden-clad guard standing nearby. "Each of them has to be wearing this. Make them appear different physically, though."

"What if I need to use my magic?" the boy shyly questioned.

Jane grabbed him and embraced him. "You are Logan Lokison, son of Loki Laufeyson. You are the heir of Jotunheim," she chanted quietly. She gently pulled back and placed her hand on his face, "You are also my son, and I know you are ready for this." She smiled up to him and moved her head against his. "Remember what we have practiced, and do not leave my side."

The princess stood up and moved her head so that he neck cracked a bit, and she placed her weapon in her left hand again. Meanwhile, Logan slowly shifted the frost giants to appear as Asgardians.

As she turned her head, Jane noticed the guard under Sif's watch staring at the boy with wonderment. "What?"

The taller man clad in gold hesitantly shifted his eyes toward her. Never once moving, Jane tensed her arms so that her weapons were ready for attack if needed. The man shook his head and opened his mouth to speak in reply, but no words came.

Jane's brows tensed inward. "You may serve the Allfather or Sif, but if you want to survive this, keep your opinions to yourself."

He swallowed down the voiceless words. Eventually, he nodded.

"Thanos may be here," Jane mused. Her lip curled as she nearly snarled.

"What could he be after?" Sif responded alertly. "Loki is no longer alive. He should want nothing to do with us."

"My betrothed brother interfered with Loki's scheme to rule earth. Without knowing the original details of what deal he made with Thanos, it remains impossible to know the precise reason."

One of the shifted giants chimed in, "Does he need a reason? Thanos has the power to destroy us all if he wished."

Jane began to walk furiously down the hall. Logan quickly followed behind her, tall for a boy his young age of nearly six. She heard several pairs of footsteps behind her. She needed to find Dravice.

"Thanos probably senses Loki's presence in Logan…" Jane offered as a poorly developed, but plausible theory.

The boy gasped when a Chitauri was killed by an Asgardian warrior. He sped up to Jane, "Why does he want my father?"

Sif replied quickly, "Loki was insane. He brutally attacked innocent lives for his demented agenda."

Jane abruptly turned around and pushed Sif against the wall with her blade at Sif's throat. The action occurred so quickly, Sif needed time to adjust. When had the princess become so ruthless in combat? the goddess of war thought dangerously.

"Do not talk about Loki with my son. He will not hate a man he can never know," Jane roared.

Sif's eyes widened as her breathing surged with a powerful rhythm. "Yes, princess," was all she said.

Jane heard a noise beyond the crackling fire. The noise was loud enough for Sif and her warrior to prepare their battle-ready stances. "Sif, protect the giants. I can take care of myself and my son," she briefly instructed.

She scanned the visible horizon beyond the rising smoke and saw two clear exits. "If we get separated, find my family."

Sif moved closer to the disguised giants, "And what if Thanos comes?"

Jane swallowed, "I have a plan."

"You cannot presume to stand a chance against him," the warrior goddess retorted.

"Find my family and stay away from the Weapons Vault."

"You can't be serious."

Jane shrugged, "Asgard won't survive this if we don't think outside of what is…generally approved."

"I won't let you use the Tesseract, Jane."

Jane sadly smirked at the mention of the horrid object and chuckled quietly. "I wouldn't touch that."

"Highness, perhaps we could relocate. This area is not safe for any of us," Sif's guard said as he moved closer to the fire. His sword was drawn, moving as he walked proudly and alert against the building wall of fire.

When Jane's mouth began to open, a voice called out beyond the flame, "Jane! Jane!"

"Dravice?" she called back, instantly recognizing the voice. Though she never moved from her place by Logan.

When he emerged through the fire, Jane smiled a bit. A wave of calm ushered over her tense muscles for a few seconds.

He nearly flew toward her as she opened her arms. He picked her up, despite hating that he always did, and they spun around a few times. He set her down carefully and placed his hands on her face. He lifted her chin up to inspect her closely, "Are you hurt?"

"I am not important. How is Frigga? Sif told me she was with you," Jane glanced behind him, but no one else was coming, "Where is she?"

Dravice frowned, "The queen is safe for now. We have bigger problems. Wormholes keep opening up, and my watch cannot keep up. We're being slaughtered, Jane."

Jane reached for his arm and gripped it. "Dravice, where is she?"

"Down in the Weapons Vault," he hesitantly uttered.

Jane quickly reached up and moved her mouth to his cheek, brushing her lips gently. "Thank you."

Something pulled her arm, so she glanced behind her. "Mother, look!"

"Mother?" Dravice repeated.

A small collection of Chitauri fighters were approaching the group, but Jane lifted her hand and molded nearby rubble into a tall, thick wall.

"Jane?" Sif called behind her.

Casually, the woman in question shrugged, "If we had more time, I could pretend to explain." She glanced over to the others in their expanding group. "We're moving together. There's no time to waste. I have a plan, and it sure as hell will drag attention to us from the Allfather."

She began to run with Logan in tow.

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"Absolutely not!" Sif roared. "Are you mad, Jane?"

"It's the only way we can take care of this quickly."

"It's madness!" she continued. "You will kill us all!"

Jane pointed up over the large steps to the golden door, "That door won't continue to hold if we don't do something."

"You built a wall! Reinforce it!" Sif countered.

Jane stepped closer to her, "That will only buy us time. In that time, Thor and Odin can be killed. The rest of Asgard will be killed."

"The Allfather will imprison you!"

Without a spared second, Jane retorted, "I'm already his prisoner. I have been since he first called me his daughter."

"Jane, please be rational!" Dravice shouted. He reached for her and held onto her arms tightly, "Stop this at once!"

"Enough!" Frigga demanded.

Jane pried herself away from Dravice's tight hold and moved to her mother, "We have to do something. And we're out of time."

Frigga moved her had to Jane's cheek, and she softly smiled, "You are so brave, my daughter."

Jane swallowed and moved away from the queen. She neared the Ice Casket and looked down upon it. "We can't just stand back and watch our home die."

"Look within yourself. Would this be what he wanted for you?" the queen rationed.

Jane turned around at the speed of lightning and roared, "This is what he would have done!"

"The Destroyer will only hurt more of our people in the process of killing them," Frigga eventually replied.

Jane's eyes brimmed with sadness. Her breathing intensely sped up to match her racing pulse. Then, her eyes went to Logan.

He appeared confused and just a little fearful. She knelt down and he rushed over to her. The tall boy wrapped his arms around her protectively as she began to cry. "I'm sorry, Logan."

"The boy is Loki's gift to us all. He could not be saved, but this boy, your son, can save you," Frigga softly spoke as she remained her distance.

"I don't want to be saved, mother. I'm not going mad. I'm fine," Jane chanted robotically.

The princess wiped her face and stood up. Logan joined her by her side and held onto her hand. "Frigga, this changes nothing," Jane warned.

Frigga appeared sad, "Things must always change."

"I can't," she retorted.

Jane walked toward the steps, but stopped by the water surrounding the platform they stood upon. Closing her eyes, Jane began to take the water out of the pit and formed several humanoid bodies.

"What are you doing?" one of the disguised giants asked.

"Logan, this is just like practice. Make them look like that guard again."

The boy did as he was instructed, but the magic cloaking the two giants was relinquished. The bodies of water began to appear like a living Asgardian.

Soon after, Logan focused his magic back on the two giants. Jane reached for his head and brought him to hug him with one arm. "That was perfect."

Sif swallowed, "How is that possible? They're alive…"

Jane shook her head, "They're not dead or living. They're just water. From what I've researched in the grand library in the palace, I can shift…particles…I think humans call them…perhaps matter. Regardless, I am able to change matter, which is why I can heal. I can alter the matter into any state I wish."

Logan shyly added, "And I've been practicing my magic."

Jane rubbed his head once, messing up his long hair, "Exactly."

"Can I come with you?" he asked Jane quietly.

Her eyes narrowed, "I'm not leaving you here."

"Can they fight?" Sif's guard questioned in his prolonged silence.

Jane took the time to look upon him with more scrutiny. He wore standard Asgardian armor. He was tall, and he appeared muscular enough. His eyes were a dark brown: much more mystifying than her own. From what she could see from outside his helmet, he had short dark blond hair. A bit of it peeked out from the helmet.

"What's your name?" Jane questioned.

She saw him swallow before answering, "Calder Bjornson."

After inspecting him more, she extended her hand, "Jane Foster."

He stared at her hand with intense interest and focus. She smirked, "It's something humans do apparently when meeting from what I can remember." Quickly, she lowered her hand.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Those doors aren't going to last. We open them and distract them with the water…guards. Then, we find a way to Thor and Odin." Jane glanced over to Sif, "Is that a more suitable, reasonable plan?"

Sif didn't have enough time to enter.

Chitauri burst through the golden doors, and the water warriors fulfilled their purpose by striking them down. As they were inflicted wounds, water began to seep through the disguise.

Sif nodded to Jane and the two women rushed forward and began clearing a path for the group. That's when a burst of enemy reinforcements rounded the corner from where the two women could view.

"Dark elves!" Jane cried out. "I can see a path, Sif. I-"

Jane jumped over to the warrior and shoved her to the ground as a burst of thunder tore through the wave of battle. Both women grunted in discomfort as they started to sit up to view the scene.

"Battle changes who you are," Loki said as he tenderly brushed her cheek as they shared his bed.

Thor had come. He was shouting as he pummeled through the crowd of relentless mix of Chitauri and Dark Elves. Jane immediately offered her hand to Sif, but the warrior chose to stand on her own. The princess shook her head and looked back to Logan.

"That's why Odin refuses you when you insist on going with us, Jane."

He immediately started to rush toward her, but she pointed behind him. "You stay back. Protect the others and watch all exits."

When a Dark Elf neared her, she rose round, bladed grip and shoved it in the creature's neck. A Chitauri watched her with sickening interest and rushed forth toward her. Jane used the wall to jump, kicking the enemy in its head before thrusting her hand forward into its skull.

"Loki, STOP!"

Sif was fighting a Dark Elf when another approached her at full speed. Jane's chest heaved drastically before she charged toward the offender. She jumped onto its back and shouted as she placed her hands over its head and snapped its neck quickly.

"That's why Odin refuses you when you insist on going with us, Jane."

As she moved away from the falling creature, she landed on her hand, which was deeply cut by the edge of her blade.

Jane continued to cry. "Don't do this…"

She cried out in stinging pain. Instead of healing herself, she stood up and rushed to Thor, killing a creature nearly overwhelming him.

She clutched on to his clothes wherever she could grip. "You can't do this. You can't leave me."

A stray blade by a falling Elf struck Thor.

"Everything has changed, Jane," he desperately retorted. He was shaking.

Thor roared in agony. Jane's hand gripped the hilt and glanced up to Thor.

"I want to go with you. Wherever you go, I go."

He nodded.

"I don't love you anymore, Jane. I'm a monster."

Jane pulled the blade quickly.

The young princess shook her head and wrapped her arms around him. "I don't care if you don't love me. I am a fool! I just love you, Loki. Please believe that. Whatever has happened, whatever you are, I don't care!"

Thor shook against the throbbing pain.

He turned so suddenly, she swore she didn't feel it.

He leaned against her smaller frame, and she was able to support him.

Loki's hand wrapped so easily around her neck and he began to lift her from the ground.

She rested her hand against the wound and healed him.

"You're a poison I wish I never swallowed, Jane. There is no time in my life that I ever truly loved you. You were Odin's favorite pet, and I wanted to tear your innocence apart because of it. I hate you more potently than I despise Odin."

Thor threw his hammer down the large hall and struck at least three dead.

Jane struggled to lift her hands to her throat. "Loki, I'm preg-"

The last wave rushed toward them.

It was too late, though. She felt a sting at her abdomen. As he threw her aside into the water, she saw he'd stabbed her at her side.

But Odin had arrived. He easily killed the last few.

She hadn't ever fully learned to swim. And he had known that. The stab wasn't going to kill her. The water was. Jane struggled to reach the flicker of the fire above her. And she did. She had to save her baby. Though, Jane wanted to die.

He turned as Jane shook her head to fight against the memories. Odin always flocked over to Thor in times such as these. He inspected his heir.

Of course, Thor was all right.

They exchanged a few words, but she didn't hear.

"Battle changes who you are," Loki said as he tenderly brushed her cheek as they shared his bed.

"Not battle. The answer is people. They change who you are," she responded in a rare moment of reflection.

Jane healed her hand and was surprised when Odin outstretched his arms around her. He sighed, sounding relieved.

He pulled back and fanned his hand over her face, "I am happy you are safe, Jane."

Jane just stared at him, genuinely confused. "Is it over?" she replied.

He nodded. And glanced over to Frigga, who had joined him. "We have won this fight. Though we lost many, we have not lost Asgard."

Frigga embraced him and extended her arm to Thor and Jane. Thor moved toward them, but Jane stood still. The three of them stared at her confused.

"They will never treat us in the same regard as Thor."

But they did. They had in rare moments such as this one.

Jane cleared her throat, "I have so much to tell you."

Thor lifted his brow, "Jane?"

"I've been travelling to Jotunheim for over five years," she announced.

Odin nearly shoved his family away to move closer to her, "Why?"

"Because of the son I thought you killed," she boldly stated.

Logan ran to his mother and wrapped his arms around her leg. Jane immediately glanced over to Thor, who watched the boy mirroring his dead brother.

"Is that Loki's son?" he questioned.

Jane reached for his hand, which Thor accepted, "I told you we had much to discuss before we can begin our marriage."

As he recalled an old conversation, Jane knelt down to Logan to pick him up. The boy balanced on her hip, "Thor, this is Logan. My son, too."

The princess glanced up to Thor with a small, but present smile. But death swept through his gaze, taking the life out of his eyes.

She reached for his hand again, but he pulled it away, "Thor?"

Odin approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "No, Thor."

The heir inhaled roughly, but never took his eyes away from Jane. "Loki is alive."

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Breviary-Rose (: