That really hurt me like a fist to the face
I wasn't ready to be knocked out of place
Suddenly everything I was sure of
Is sinking below the depths of the surface

It's unexpected, it usually is
When you're rejected or you take a hit
Suddenly everything's thrown in a spin
No time to grow a thicker skin
What kind of situation am I in now?

-"Roll With The Punches" Lenka

XxxX

April first was amusingly Usopp's birthday. Sanji found this incredibly funny, it was like his whole life was set up to be one big joke for the universe to laugh at... That sounded a little sad, actually. But the third was Brook's. For the sake of everyone their joint party was held on the forth. That way they only had to have one party and neither of them was the actual birthday boy-? man-? man boy? Neither of them was the actual birthday man child on that day. Usopp was turning twenty four and Brook wouldn't tell anyone how old he was.

The party was obviously held at the Thousand Sunny and Sanji did not have the night off but he was fine with that. Because of the party the bar was more crowded than usual and very loud. There were many interesting people.

Sanji met Usopp's girlfriend Kaya, who was wonderful and looked way too attractive to be with him but given Usopp's personality he could understand. Although trying to imagine them kissing was kind of a mind fuck. Not because he couldn't imagine Kaya wanting to kiss him, it was just that nose was crazy and awkward. He imagined that she would have to turn her face completely sideways in order to make it work. There was a kiss kind of like that in Aladdin, it was sort of weird.

Zoro slid into a bar stool, startling him, "What are you thinking about? Because you look like you're trying to uncover the mysteries of the universe."

"Kissing Usopp. No, wait. That came out wrong. I was trying to imagine what kissing would be like with a disabling nose. Fuck, that just sounded mean." Sanji was not very good at back peddling.

"If you say anymore weird things I'm just going to go." He pointed toward the horde of people behind him.

"I can't promise anything but you should have realized this before you came over so you can't really blame me for this."

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I've just been getting used to your general weirdness."

"General weirdness sounds like a band name."

"No it doesn't, that name sucks."

"Your face sucks."

"Your mom sucks."

"I was adopted so for all I know you could be right."

Zoro's gave scrunched up, "No, don't insult your biological mother. I'm sure she was a lovely lady."

"Is it because she created such a beautiful baby?" Sanji flipped his hair exaggeratedly.

"What she created was a monster but that wasn't her fault, it was genetics fault along with environmental factors. So, I guess technically some of it was her fault."

"I used to try imagining what she was like when I was little. I really wanted a mom, Zeff was pretty tough as a father figure and I think he may have given me emotional damage."

"I'm fairly certain all of your emotional damage cannot be blamed on one man. I believe this is much bigger than that."

"You make me sound like a total wreck."

"You aren't a total wreck. You're like half a wreck and there are only a few people dead but most of them lived."

"I knew a kid in high school who died in a car crash. Actually, I knew two if them. There were grief councilors and everything."

"That really sucks. Were you friends with them?"

"Not really. One was someone I had never heard of, he didn't have a seatbelt on. The other I sat with at lunch and he starred at me while I was eating my food, he was evading arrest."

"You're tone seem inappropriate for the situation."

"I'm sorry, on my birthday he bought me ice cream and gave me a hug that lasted way too long."

"Maybe he was just very friendly?"

"He lifted me off my feet."

"Very, very friendly?"

"He texted me too much telling me how much he liked me. Like, like liked," Sanji crossed his arms. He was regretting saying anything.

Zoro burst out laughing, "Please tell me he was bigger and manlier than you."

"Shut up, he was a creepy stalker!"

"Don't disrespect the dead."

"Why not? It's not like he's going to be insulted or anything."

"You are defiantly going to go to hell."

"And I am taking you down with me."

After that Zoro endeavored back into the mob to talk with his other friends. He didn't like big parties much (at all) and he wished that most (all) of these people would go away, but he was there for Usopp and he was there for Brook. Luckily for him he found Chopper stowed away in a corner with Luffy and he hung out with them until Luffy tackled Nami and she knocked him unconscious. Then he just hung out with Chopper while Chopper tended to Luffy's probable concussion.

Not long after that everyone sang happy birthday really terribly and out of tune. The cake, which was huge and made by Sanji, was cut and handed around. When Sanji had first heard about the party his first priority was to know what the situation was with the cake. The original plan was to buy a cake but Sanji said that if they bought a cake he would steal it, give it to a homeless person, and make them a better one. No one had any objections to that whatsoever so Sanji made it happen and it was beautiful and magical and everyone loved it. Except Zoro, who didn't like cake, so he didn't count.

Zoro eventually made his way back to the cook in question at some point later that night. He was doubled over onto the counter, clenching his head in pain.

"Are you okay?" Zoro asked.

Sanji's head shot up, "I'm fine, my head just feels like pain so that's kind of sucky." He shrugged, "So, did you eat any of my cake?"

"No, I don't like cake."

"That makes me very sad, marimo," Sanji sighed, "Do you like ice cream cake? Pound cake? Coffee cake? Cheese cake? Pie?"

Zoro shook his head, "Nope, I don't like sweet foods."

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the country because you are obviously not an American."

"I'm sorry my pallet is sub par, but I can't help it."

"You should be sorry, you make the little chef inside me want to cry, or beat the shit out of you, or teach your tongue a lesson."

Zoro wrinkled his nose, "That sounded like an innuendo to me."

"It's literally taking all my effort not to say in your end-o because it's literally the lamest joke ever, but I guess I just failed at that," Sanji sighed regretfully.

"I'm just going to ignore that and move on."

"You do that," Sanji said, going back to holding his head.

"Have you ever tried message therapy?" Zoro asked as he watched Sanji's pained expression.

"I have, actually but apparently these aren't tension headaches. Or at least most of them aren't."

"What was it like?"

"Awkward at first and then very painful. If felt like the bruised my back. I gave up on it after a few weeks."

"Has anything ever helped them?"

"Not really, I'm doomed to be forever in a lot of pain. Not even heavy medication helps," he droned bleakly. Life wasn't fair sometimes.

They talked a while longer but the party ended not too terribly long after that. Everyone went back to their lovely homes and settled in for a small amount of sleep. Except for Sanji who didn't get any sleep at all.

XxxX

The month of April passed quickly and wonderfully without too much incident. Zoro was in a particularly good mood. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he woke up well rested, the weather outside was amazing. It was cool but there was a warm breeze allowing for it to be warm enough to wear a T-shirt. He even had a very slight smile on his face as he walked into the bar.

In contrast to Zoro's good mood, over the counter Sanji looked like he was having an existential crisis or something. He was staring down at the dishcloth in his hand, chewing his lip as his other hand dug into the back of his neck. He looked not in a good way.

When Zoro sat down he grabbed Sanji's left hand away from his neck. There was blood under his fingertips. Sanji himself hand nearly jumped out of his skin at being grabbed so suddenly.

"Agh, holy fucking shit!" he exclaimed, "God dammit, why did you do that?"

"What's wrong?" Zoro asked, letting go of the hand as Sanji pulled it away.

"Nothing," he said quickly, "I mean, I'm just trying to figure some things out."

"What things? You were fine yesterday." He had been his usual stupid fucking self yesterday.

"Yeah, well, yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks like they're here to stay-" he was cut off by a crumpled up napkin being thrown at his face via Zoro, who had an expression that screamed 'you are such a fucking dork', "Fine. I just got a phone call before I came in. It's just- Agh!" He gripped his head with his hand, trying to will way the pain in his skull with a cry of frustration.

"A call from who?" Zoro asked crossing his arms and leaning on the counter.

"Carne. He said- Fuck, I shouldn't be taking about this right now. It's a busy night and I have a job to do." Professionalism was best right now, it kept him focused even if he was just playing a bartender right now.

"You look to frazzled to do it properly," Zoro observed, he hadn't even received his sake yet.

"Yeah, well, you look too stupid to do anything properly."

"Well, despite how severely you've hurt me with that last comment," the green haired man said sarcastically, "I'm going to keep asking questions. So, what did this Carne guy say?"

Sanji gave a long sigh, "Look, I can't deal with this right now. Not at work. If you really want to know you can wait until I'm off. Just go home and text me if you're coming, meet me here so you don't get lost trying to find my place." He was hoping that the swordsman didn't think it was worth it and leave him alone to suffer though this alone but when he thought about it that didn't seem likely to happen. He then seemed to realize that he hadn't actually been doing his job and poured him his sake.

"I don't get lost," Zoro objected.

"And I suppose you don't have green hair or alcoholic tendencies either."

"Shut up. Fine, I'll text you," Zoro said as Sanji was called to the attention of another patron requesting a drink.

Zoro spent the next few hours catching the sleep he would be losing by going over to Sanji's. He set an alarm so that he would have enough time to get to the bar, even compensating for the lost time he would likely gain while he found his way back. Not that he would need it.

When he arrived Sanji was standing outside smoking a cigarette in the darkness. He looked up as Zoro approached. Zoro opened his mouth to ask what was up but Sanji silenced him.

"Not here," he said as he began to walk in the direction of his apartment. The didn't say much on the way there, Sanji was walking in singleminded determination to get home.

When the apartment door shut behind them Zoro turned to the blond expectantly.

"So what the hell is going on?" he asked, the cook was starting to freak him out. A lot of thinks could get fucked up by one phone call.

Sanji groaned, kicking off his shoes and taking a seat on one side of the couch as Zoro took a seat on the opposite side.

"I got a call from home before work, like I said. Carne is one of the dumb fucks who works for Zeff at the Baratie. He said that Zeff has been having some health problems lately and he's been going to the doctors a lot. He wouldn't usually call me for something like this but he's fairly sure that it's serious. Zeff was supposed to call me sometime tonight. And normally I wouldn't freak out about something like this but if he's hiding something it's probably something big, and my head is killing me, I can't focus on anything, I feel stressed about literally everything. I'm just going to explode into a big pile of gore and stress." He slumped sideways into a pillow beside Zoro, hands covering the back of his neck.

"I think you're over reacting," Zoro said calmly, staring at Sanji's splayed blond hair. He was honestly expecting a lot worse.

"Yeah," came Sanji's muffled voice, "but acknowledging that isn't helping. Ugh, just make this stop. Why can't I relax?"

"What usually helps you relax?" Please, please don't say anything sexual, was Zoro's first thought as soon as the words left his mouth. That wasn't the kind if help he was willing to give. At least not right now... And suppress that last thought. Good, now listen to what the idiot cook is saying while not picturing him naked.

"Cooking." That was a relief.

"Then why don't you go cook something." He waved his hand toward the kitchen.

"But it's like one AM."

"Who cares, go make yourself feel better."

"No, I can't waste food like that if no one will eat it. I'll just wait and make a huge breakfast."

"And what are you going to do until then?"

"Go limp and pretend not to exist." He already had a head start on that.

"Sounds healthy."

"Yeah, well, it's the best I've got right now." He turned his head to the side so that his words could be more easily heard.

"Fair enough," Zoro said as he turned on the tv to watch some mindless bullshit. Sanji actually ended up falling asleep before Zoro did, which was slightly shocking. He was still laying on his side with his legs hanging off the couch, clutching his phone to his chest. It really did not look comfortable. Zoro weighed the risks of pulling him into a more comfortable position. He ended up deciding to do the nice thing and pull him up so that he was laying fully on the sofa. Zoro took the chair, he didn't mind, he could probably fall asleep anywhere. He would make a good hobo in that way and probably in a lot if other ways if he really thought about it. Was that a good or bad thing?

In the morning Zoro awoke to Sanji talking on the phone. At first his brain did not register what he was seeing, or what he was hearing. He was still stuck in that half dream state as he watched Sanji's form pace back and forth, phone to his ear. He looked aggravated.

All that Zoro managed to catch before he hung up was, "I'll see what I can do- Yeah, bye." After that Sanji turned to him with an upset expression.

"I'm going to make a fucking casserole so prepare your stomach, bastard," Sanji glowered as he stalked off the the kitchen. Zoro checked his phone, it was 7:03. Way too early to be waking up on a Saturday, but this was a special circumstance so Zoro dragged himself up from the chair he had spent the night on.

"Was that Zeff?" he asked upon entering the kitchen.

"Yeah, it was," Sanji said as he aggressively broke eggs into a bowl two at a time.

"Are you going to make me ask what he said or can you just tell me?" he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

"He has Adult Acute Myeloid Leukemia. He only found out for sure on Wednesday," Sanji said swiftly stirring the eggs.

Zoro was shocked, he had expected something mundane that Sanji had fussed over for nothing, not something like this. He wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Um, I'm sorry?" He said, awkwardly.

Sanji stopped stirring, "Ugh, fuck you. I hate it when people do that, it's not like you fucking gave him cancer so you don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Sorry," Zoro shrugged.

Sanji glared, "Shut the fuck up. Why does cancer make everyone so uncomfortable? It's stupid. The 'I have cancer talk' wasn't even that bad this time."

"This time?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"When I was, like, eleven or something Zeff had osteosarcoma, which is like bone cancer in limbs. His was in his right lower leg. They couldn't do leg-salvage surgery because the tumor was large and it extended into the nerves so they had to do a below knee amputation. That was pretty shitty as a kid to see all that happen, you know. Plus, he had to do chemo before and after the surgery so all his hair fell out, which was gross and creepy."

Zoro wrinkled his nose. "Fuck, that really, really sucks. I mean what are the chances that he would get different kind of cancer?"

"Well, I guess the odds were pretty good seeing as the chemo probably gave it to him," Sanji scoffed.

"What? How?"

"Some of the drugs used in chemotherapy can prompt leukemia to develop."

"Why the fuck would they use it if it can cause cancer?"

Sanji shrugged. "It's a necessary risk. All the drugs in chemo are pretty nasty, they do cause cell death after all, but it's all we have to work with right now. It's science and shit. But usually I think if you're going to get cancer from chemo it happens sooner than later but it's been a while since Zeff had his treatments, but what do I know?"

"Still a pretty shitty situation."

"Agreed," Sanji sighed, "And now I feel like I have to go back and look after the restaurant while he's going through this. God knows Patty and Carne can't do it as well as I can."

"Did he ask you to come back?"

Sanji laughed, "No, he would never ask something like that, especially what with how I left. But I don't think he would object to my coming back to handle things while he's not well."

"What do you mean, how exactly did you leave?" The topic had been mentioned before in passing but as of yet the blond had refused to elaborate on his leaving home.

"Uh, I sort of had a mental breakdown," Sanji admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. No real reason to deny it now if he planned on going back home anyway. Plus, he trusted Zoro, not that it was anyone's business.

It had happened shortly after he started getting the headaches. Stress was piling up and Sanji somehow found himself at his breaking point. He was a ticking time bomb of crazy. It had all come to a pinocle when Sanji was standing in the kitchen cutting onions.

Someone was putting up a new shelf on the wall, they were using an electric drill to set it up. At the time Sanji hand been feeling lightheaded, the kitchen was feeling too hot, and his head was filled with pressure. When he heard the drill turn on he completely freaked out. His mind went into total panic mode. Swaying slightly, he dropped the knife he was using to cut up a plum and stumbled back, his chest tightening. The sound of drilling seemed to be penetrating his skull, he couldn't breath. He slipped and fell back against the wall behind him. Everything felt weird, too clear and like he was being squeezed through a tube. By this time people had started to notice his odd behavior. Someone reached out to him, he still didn't know who, everything was muddled.

"Are you alright?" they asked, but as soon as they touched him he jerked back with a frightened cry. Someone must have run off to tell Zeff because the large blond man stomped in, grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him upstairs, to the area where he lived. Sanji used to live there as well but he had moved out a few years ago.

Once they were out of the eyes of the kitchen staff Sanji broke down into hysterical sobs. He didn't even know why he was crying or what was going on, it was terrifying he felt completely out of control. Then to make matters even worse he had a minor seizure and woke up completely drained but no longer panicky.

After that Zeff wanted him to go back to seeing his old therapist but he had refused. He tried going back to work but he felt off, something was wrong. Being in the Baratie made him want to tear off his own skin. That was when he got the idea to go away for awhile. Just for a few months, maybe a year. Figure things out, get a easy and low stress job, and then maybe he would feel better about going back. Maybe he would find something better out there, all he knew was that he couldn't be in this place anymore. So, he picked a random place and decided to go. He actually made his choice when a commercial for a new Cedar Point ride came on with a view of the lake.

Zeff hadn't been against him leaving per se, he had implored him to stay and talk to a professional but aside from that no objection. Hopefully he would be ready to come back, although now that he had friends he was reluctant to leave. Amazing what friends can do to a person.

"Why the hell would that make you come here?" Zoro asked in confusion.

"I needed to get away for awhile and this is what happened." He didn't need to know the exact details, they were slightly embarrassing.

"So do you plan on going back then?" The idea made Zoro's stomach churn for some reason.

"I probably should, although, I am starting to get really attached to this place. I kinda don't want to leave, but I should get back to my real job because I think I can handle it now, I haven't freaked out since then, and if I don't go now then I don't think I ever will. I mean, no offense to Nami but being her bartender hasn't been the highlight of my professional career," He sighed in frustration.

"I'm sure everyone would miss you if you left." Zoro said, it was the truth.

"That include you, marimo?" A cheeky little smile worked it's way onto Sanji's stupid blond face.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Excluding me, obviously."

"Right, obviously," he hummed, "I guess I should quit at the bar then. Nami will have to find another bartender. I think I'll miss that place."

"If you're going to leave then Luffy's going to want to throw you a going away party, just so you know."

"Well, then I guess I should wait a week or so before I leave, eh?" He was pouring things into a pan as he spoke.

"Yeah..."

Sanji put the casserole into the oven, it would be another fifteen minutes before it was done.

"What, nothing you can think of to make me stay?" Sanji joked.

"What if I confessed my undying love for you?" Zoro offered, "Or recited Shakespearian sonnets in your honour?"

Sanji snorted, "What, you think I'd choose you over my cancer riddled adopted father? That's pretty presumptuous of you."

"You know you can't resist my manly charm." Zoro struck a pose.

"Oh yeah," Sanji said, patting Zoro's muscular bicep, "I can hardly contain myself. Now, mister man, could you go fetch that little bottle over there." He pointed at a little pill bottle on one of the cabinets.

"What is it?" Zoro asked, giving it a shake.

"I told you I have to take medication for my seizures. They aren't that big a deal, I've bad enough to take medication but only just and only when the symptoms start showing. But they seriously suck, trust me."

"What are they like?"

"They feel weird. Sometimes I don't know they're coming and I wake up with no idea what happened but I feel sore all over." It was frustrating that after so long they had come back, he didn't think he'd have to deal with this anymore.

"Shouldn't you go see a doctor or something? What if your brain's fucked up."

"My brain was already fucked up and either way they probably couldn't fix me anyway. Plus, they examined my brain like a month ago anyway. You remember, you were there," he said dismissively.

"You're only saying that because you don't want to go to the doctors," Zoro accused.

"Not true, I would say that even if I didn't hate the doctor's cold probing hands."

"You make it sound like a doctor molested you at some point. That's not what happened, right? Because I've been trying to figure it out and that is one of the ideas I had."

"If a doctor molested me I think that would be the end. At that point I would have had to deal with so much shit I would just stop living right there."

"Not all doctors are bad, right?"

"No, Chopper is fine. I don't know why you of all people are defending the doctors of the world. I'm pretty sure you could accidentally cut yourself in two and then somehow sew yourself back together to convince everyone that your fine and you don't need a doctor."

"If I can sew myself together like that I probably don't need a doctor. The government might seek me out as a super hero."

"Marimo man to the rescue. What is your ultimate ability, mister hero? You seem like a Hercules guy."

"I would have super strength and I would be pretty much invincible."

"Ugh, that's so boring." Sanji wrinkled his nose.

"Oh, and what would your super hero power be then, curly brow?"

"My leg would catch on fire when I kicked people, only when I wanted it to though."

"You would catch your clothes on fire."

"I would wear a fire proof suit."

"That sounds expensive."

"But worth it. Also fire proof, indestructible shoes."

"Obviously. I think we would make pretty awesome superheroes. We would have to be a part of league or something because we couldn't be partners."

"Why not? Am I intolerable to work with?" Sanji asked in offense.

"Yeah, we would probably start fighting and the bad guy would get away."

Sanji snorted, "I guess I can't really argue on that one. That would definitely happen, no question about it. Plus, we would have to argue over who was the sidekick."

"Honestly, I don't think that either of us could be sidekicks and superheroes don't work together, unless they're the Avengers."

"Bah, the Avengers kind of suck. I'm not all about comic books. Well, I guess when I was little I did have a collection of Far Side comics. But that isn't really a comic book, it's a book of comics."

"Meh, I liked Calvin and Hobbes more as a kid."

Sanji found it ever so slightly amusing to imagine Zoro as little kid in the back of Koshiro's martial arts training facility reading Calvin and Hobbes. If it were anyone but Zoro it might be cute.

Zoro let out a long sigh, "So, you're seriously going to leave?"

"It would seem that way, yes. All good things must come to their natural end and this seems like the natural place to depart."

"But if you like it here then why would you want it to end?"

"I don't but there are a lot of other things to consider, not just my current happiness."

"That's depressing. What goes on in your head to make you say bad things about yourself?"

"Nothing," Sanji said in irritation, "Are you actually trying to convince me to stay? I thought that you wanted me out so you could drink in peace."

"I'm just trying to understand why you want to go."

"Right. I forgot, you aren't interested in things like caring about people," he said sarcastically.

"Exactly, so when I ask; is there any way to get you to stay? I do it out of curiosity and not out of any other reason."

The blond chuckled, "Okay, fair enough but to answer your question I don't there is. There's only so much time I can spend here doing nothing." He gave a sad smile.

"You say that but I could kidnap you and chain you up in a little hidie hole somewhere. Then you would be my... I don't know, something creepy and fucked up. I wanted to say slave but I thought that sounded too suggestive."

"I would be your bitch," Sanji supplied generously.

"Eh, it still doesn't seem like what I was looking for but you can call it whatever you want."

"I want none of that and as a friend I'm worried that this was your first thought when I say I'm going home."

"I would be too, but that's not the point. The point I was making is that nothing is impossible. You say that it's impossible to make you stay and I say not if I chain you up and make you my bitch, bitch."

Sanji kicked him in the gut, "Well, I'm now defiantly leaving."

"Good, because now I want you to go," Zoro said, holding his stomach.

The timer then went off and the casserole was finished. It was fucking amazing of course, even though Zoro burnt his tongue on it. So worth it. After breakfast the two spent the rest if the day hanging out.

XxxX

A/N: Cancer sucks, guys, but things are happening and the build up is killing me. And I'm allowed to mock cancer stuff without feeling too bad because my mom has cancer (or had, I never get told things) , just so you don't think I'm being too insensitive, even when I probably am ^^

Also, I recently discovered it's fun to actually post things on tumblr, so if you like really lazy doodle mostly concerning One Piece I'm opens-up-4-nobody *awkward cough* so anyway...

Thanks.