The weight of the OSD seemed far greater than its small size should dictate. The matriarch's offices had been almost too easy to break into: what electronic security there was, he had been able to hack without too much difficulty, and the physical presence, the commandos making up the matriarch's security, were mostly involved at the party in the main hall.

Kaidan could not help but think something would go wrong. That this was a large, elaborate trap.

Getting paranoid, Alenko...

He had broken into the computer inside the most impressive office he could find, presumably the matriarch's, and dumped correspondence, financial records and likely looking files onto the OSD before his nerve gave out, and he re-secured the terminal, leaving everything as he found it.

He strode down the silent corridor, senses sharp, listening for any sign of another person. There were only two security cameras on his path, and he had hacked both to play a looping feed of an empty corridor. If the matriarch did find out somebody had accessed her terminal, she would no doubt also find out that the feeds had been tampered with as well but there was no evidence that he was the one who did it.

He, and more importantly, the Alliance, would not be implicated.

He thought again of the organisation he had dedicated his life to. After the incident at BAaT he had been lucky not to be locked up, or forced down yet another path because of his biotics. But he wanted to help people, and the Alliance was the best way to do that.

The sheen had begun to wear off rather quickly, but he stayed the course. So he could make the change. Do his part in making the Alliance better. And now, again, he was doing his duty, so he could garner the respect required to be taken seriously, to force the organisation to prepare for the Reapers.

Is it worth it?

His thoughts, as they were wont to do, turned to Shepard. She had terrified him when they first met. The impressive woman with deep eyes that seemed to draw in the light around them. He had never met anybody so fascinating before: a woman of such contrasts. Quiet, respectful, almost but not quite shy in private conversation. Powerful and commanding when she stood and led. An absolute terror when she fought, preferring to tear enemies apart up close and personal, as if each one was a foe she hated, when he never thought her capable of allowing such emotion to touch her. Was that how she was all of the time, underneath the mask? Was that why she wore it?

Her reputation was of a cold, almost ruthless fighter. Somebody who was almost unusually devoted to the Alliance's fights, to a level most soldiers could not stomach. Always doing what was necessary to win, whatever the cost. Where others would flinch, fall back to save the lives under their command and fight again another day, she would push forward, always at the tip of the spear, driving it to the heart of an enemy and beyond, utterly obliterating them.

Sure, he was attracted to her... who wouldn't be? But when he tried to lead the conversation in that direction, just the once, she had made her position abruptly clear. Not interested.

He hated the rush that still passed through his system when he thought of her, hated that none of the women he had met since had interested him.

He wondered briefly if she was involved with T'Soni. She and the asari spent a lot of time together, and Shepard always seemed more relaxed, more willing to open up, after spending time with Liara. It would explain why she shot him down, if nothing else.

He thought she, like he, was Alliance for life. She knew nothing other than fighting, had nothing else, and the Alliance could be her reason.

Seeing her with Cerberus... it had nearly broken him. Not because he was sorry, or shocked... but because he wasn't, and hated himself for it. She was still fighting the same fight; it was the Alliance who had abandoned her. If he hadn't been promoted after she had saved Horizon, he did not know what he would have done. The promotion, even if it was almost entirely her doing, had given him faith that perhaps there was still more he could do, that there was hope yet, with the Alliance.

It was always about her. She was the reason he had been sidelined for years, then she was the reason he was dragged back in.

His thoughts soured as he considered what was soon to come, as he continued his silent retreat back to the party. He had only been gone for half an hour: with any luck nobody would notice his absence, just assuming he was talking with somebody else.

The Reapers would come. And Shepard would be the one fighting them. Where would he, where would the Alliance, stand then? Would they suddenly want her back? Would his efforts be completely forgotten when the proof was starting them in the face?

Would he follow her again? Her war would be brutal. He knew she would be single minded, destroying the Reapers, where he...

He shook his head. She fought to destroy her enemies. He fought to save those he could. It was a fundamental difference between them, and one he knew he could not simply allow to let lie. He could not follow her in a war like that.

Or could I?

He focused his mind back to his current mission. This was nothing to do with her. And yet he could not stop thinking about her, mood swinging between a hard jealousy that she had the nerve to set out on her own, to prepare for the war on her own when she should be trying to get the Alliance to listen, and a yearning to follow her again.

Follow. When Shepard was involved, following just seemed the natural position for anybody else. He technically outranked her now, as if that would matter.

Dammit, man - focus!

Kaidan arrived back at the door that would show him back into the party. His muscles were tight with tension, and behind his eyes he felt the beginning of a migraine. Not ready yet to face the crowd, he leaned into the wall beside the door, and took several deep, calming breaths, ran through some of his biotic meditations.

Just a few more hours of socialising, then mission accomplished...

'Lieutenant Alenko?' A sultry voice had his back straighten instinctively, and his eyes shoot open.

He bit down a surge of panic at the voice, and forced himself calm. 'Matriarch Sonnesta,' he inclined his head towards the party's host, who had just passed through the door he was about to traverse. He was lucky he was here, of all places, where any number of easy excuses could come to mind, rather than further inside the building, but still-

'I apologise for disturbing you, you looked deep in thought.' The beautiful asari gave a soft smile with the words.

What?

He decided to go with it. He was not fooled by the gentle exterior: she was a powerful woman, and he was here because she was a person of interest to the Alliance.

'I am sorry if I am not supposed to be here, matriarch, the crowd of the party has given me something of a headache,' He knew one of the most convincing ways to lie was to tell a half truth.

She gave an understanding nod. 'You are one of humanity's first biotics, are you not? I hear you suffer terribly. I invested heavily in the development of safer implants for your younger generations.'

He forced a smile. 'You are very generous, matriarch.'

Her own smile widened, and he did not fail to notice how her eyes dragged across his body. 'Please, lieutenant, call me Kalissa.'

He recognised the subtext. He was not so clueless: he knew he was an attractive man to a level, and could hopefully use it to his advantage. Kaidan forced his shoulders back and slightly raised his chin, hoping she thought it a natural reaction to her attention. He caught her brilliant green eyes again. 'Very well, Kalissa... and though I was recently promoted to major, I insist you call me Kaidan.'

She took a step closer. 'A promotion? For some heroic deed, no doubt... I am very careful of who I invite to my gatherings, Kaidan,' He could almost hear her tongue wrap around his name, and steeled himself. She was playing a game here as much as he, and he needed to end it before he slipped up, or she pushed him further than he was willing to take his act. 'I have always enjoyed the company of those who make a living of fighting; across species, there is always a violent strength there, hidden beneath the civilised exterior.'

Another step. 'But you seem a little different...'

'I do not enjoy the violence.' He forced himself to keep a steady head as her heady scent filled his nostrils.

'And yet you continue to fight... such a contrast... you must be a man of honour, Kaidan.'

What is her game?

Hating himself, he said the one thing he knew would distract her. The same thing that everybody ended up talking to him about anyway.

'Commander Shepard always said so, Kalissa.'

His heart sunk as her eyes lit up. It was a stupid reaction on his part: he wanted her to be interested in Shepard... but it was always the same. He was already forgotten, buried beneath humanity's hero.

She looped an arm into his, but her movements were no longer predatory towards him. 'I do hope you feel better now, Kaidan... please allow me to escort you back to the party as you tell me about her.'

It was always about her.


Garrus had fallen asleep again. She and Garrus had been drinking and watching Fleet and Flotilla in the now eerily quiet observation room, and the silly bosh'tet had fallen asleep during one of the more romantic scenes; when the quarian first admitted to being scared that the turian might not like what he saw when she removed her mask.

Tali smirked at him affectionately, slightly curled up on the couch.

He tried so hard to do things like this with her, but it really just wasn't in his nature, and she didn't care in the least. The effort was what really mattered. They had been celebrating the completion of their work, and while he would have preferred some time at a shooting range or beating up some back alley thugs on Omega, he had happily done this simply because she asked him.

All of the upgrade schematics were ready for Shepard to review, if she gave the final go-ahead the ship would need to be dry docked for close to two months to make the alterations, with a team far more experienced than Aria's best. Perhaps Liara was going to pay for all of that as well - the asari had given them only a small hint of the kind of resources the Shadow Broker commanded but even just that had blown her mind. More money than most worlds. More investments than any private company, pouring millions of credits into an array of accounts every minute.

Liara could probably pay for repairs for half of the Flotilla and have money to spare.

The Flotilla...

She tried not to think about it. often. It did not hurt as much any more: no longer was it the poison in her mind that she could not even think of without almost collapsing, and that was mostly due to the turian beside her. He was there, simply making sure she knew she still had a home, and friends, and had barely left her side for days after Shepard failed to convince the admirals of her innocence, and even now did not like leaving her alone for more than a few hours.

But the simple knowledge that she could never return to the Flotilla always had her blinking back tears. As if her "treason" had not been enough, she had a geth living in her suit.

A geth.

And had just spent hours discussing upgrades to a ship with another AI. An unshackled one, that was present throughout the ship.

EDI had made her laugh. Twice.

The first time, she had caught herself, and felt a strange bile rising through her system at the realisation. AIs were dangerous - disgusting - and for one to actually please her like that... Keelah... like she was pleased with Legion...

Was there anything even left of the quarian in her? Quarians hated AIs.

She had not even noticed EDI's second joke as anything other than ordinary until she thought back to it now.

Not even months ago, she was refusing to speak to EDI. Was thinking Shepard was crazy for allowing an AI on the ship, even if it was proving useful.

Then Legion... just days after her being exiled, Shepard had brought a geth on board. Her captain had been contrite of course, but it had almost pushed Tali over the edge. If it hadn't been for Garrus, she did not know what she would have done.

It had only been weeks ago. Now she called Legion "he" and he lived in her suit. She joked with EDI.

How had this happened?

[Tali?]

Of course, probably noticed my heart rate or something...

'Not now, Legion,' she whispered.

[You do not need to whisper: I have disengaged external speakers. However, if you wish me to be silent, I shall.]

She looked at the turian gently lying beside her. He was at home here... just like she was, in a way... but he had something else. A family on Palaven. Friends on the Citadel.

She had none of it. Just Garrus, Shepard, Liara now, and a few of the others. A family pushed together by war, sealed by hardship, by shared pain. Ashley dead, the things they had to do... and all of those lost on the Collector Base. She was happy enough, but wondered if there was anything more. No longer could she catch up on fleet gossip, or meet youngsters with new ideas on how to improve engines. She had received a couple of heavily encrypted messages from Kal and auntie Raan, but seeing as they were technically forbidden from speaking with her, they were few and far between.

'What do you do, when you're not talking?' she asked, desperate for a small distraction.

[We can idle ourselves, as we often do when you are sleeping, however there are always calculations, simulations, considerations to perform.]

'Of what?'

[Our surroundings. We are currently analysing the meanings organics may attach to the video playing ahead of us. This helps us further understand you.]

'And what's your conclusion?'

[That the value placed on trust and friendship and love, which to us appear to be similar emotions felt at varying intensity, can overcome any adversity, whether real or perceived. Organics rely on each other for strength, and when all parties accept this strength, the end result is greater than its combining parts should dictate.]

Her melancholy thoughts faded, and she chuckled aloud.

'It's just a sappy romance story, Legion.' She looked at Garrus' slumbering form, and felt a wicked grin pull at her mouth, remembering the flush of excitement at how primal he had looked earlier in the day, but resisted the urge to wake him again. She still had her friends, those she trusted, and had made her home here. Everything else... that did not matter as much. She could find the rest again, on her own terms. 'But thank you.'


The hot sun sank slowly down across the horizon, casting harsh red light across the plains before her. It was a sight Faith had never thought to see again, when she was taken away by the soldiers, just a sixteen year old girl, trembling and traumatised after finding the ruined remains of her parents.

She had never really appreciated it before. It was just the sunset, the only one she knew, the only one she thought she would ever know. She had not wanted to see the stars like some of the other kids, but in the end she was the one who lived, and saw dozens of different sunsets on dozens of different worlds. Most of them, on some mission or other, killing her way through whomever the Alliance set her against.

'I wonder how many people would be interested to know of Commander Shepard's secret romantic streak.'

Soft footsteps sounded behind her. Liara had been reading a human-written Prothean history book: they had agreed that hobbies were allowed on their holiday, and Faith had not wanted to disturb the asari as her cerulean features dissected the clearly incorrect human ideas about Protheans: she seemed to be enjoying herself, so Faith came out to watch the sun.

Liara sat down beside her, assuming a similar position of knees up, arms wrapped around them.

'What's that?'

'You do this often. You like seemingly endless views: whether it is the black of space or distant horizons. What do you dream of, I wonder?'

They sat in silence for a few minutes, simply enjoying each others' company. Liara's question was obviously rhetorical, but Faith still considered it.

'Whenever I look at something like this, everything else just seems... insignificant, I guess. This sunset will be the same until Mindoir's star burns out. Space will always look the same. It helps sometimes, to think that there's some things I know I can't change, that even the Reapers can't change.'

It was partially true, but she had never really thought of why she enjoyed views such as this. She looked at Liara, whose lips were pulled into a small, knowing, smile. She was far too smart.

'Fine. I just like it, ok? I don't know why.'

Liara's smile widened into something more open, sending Faith's heart fluttering. If somebody had told her told her, before she met Liara, that a woman could have her feeling this way with a simple smile, she simply would not have believed it. The very concept seemed absurd, and yet, here she was, feeling relaxed, happy, flirty, with an asari.

'I know you do. It is acceptable for you to like something, without a reason.'

Faith smiled in return. 'I like you.'

Liara bumped their shoulders together. 'And you have no reason for doing so?

'I've got lots of reasons. More than I know enough nice words to describe.'

'Flatterer.' Liara leaned in, resting her crested hear upon a shoulder warmed by the sun, mostly bare in the tank top Faith was wearing. 'Tell me what else you like.'

'I don't really have hobbies, Liara. Never really had time for them in the Alliance: there was always another mission, manuals to read, training to be done. I've got a few of those stupid little model ships in my cabin, but they're mainly brainless, to pass the time. Not needing to sleep much gives you a lot more time that you'd imagine; even I had trouble filling it sometimes.'

Liara shifted her seat, righting herself again, breaking the contact which Faith immediately missed. 'Do... you ever think about what they... I... put you through? With Project Lazarus? The cybernetics, the biotics -'

'The chance for this.' Faith interrupted Liara, unable to hear the sadness in the asari's voice. 'The chance for us. Don't ever be sorry for doing what you did. You gave me the chance to fix the biggest mistake of my life, and even if I can't do it all right, I'm going to keep trying...to be the person you deserve.' She gave a soft sigh. 'Thank you, Liara. I really mean it.'

Faith glanced at her partner, seeing the brilliant cerulean eyes looking to the distance. As wonderful as the holiday had been; finally putting to rest old wounds, enjoying the horseriding, chatting with John and more, the greatest joy came with the knowledge that she was doing it with Liara, the both of them sharing the happiness, the strength that the time to relax was giving them.

She promised herself that this was how they would be. When things got tough, as they would in the future, she would be Liara's strength, just as the asari had become hers. Liara had done so much for her on this trip, and before, and Faith wanted, needed, Liara to know just how much she appreciated it all.

She reached over, and gently turned Liara's chin towards her, feeling her heart race as their eyes locked, and sapphire lips curled into a content smile. 'Thank you. For everything.' Faith gestured to the barren landscape before them. 'It would be nice, to get lost out here, wouldn't it?'

Liara's gaze followed the gesture, then returned to Faith's eyes. 'With you... I would enjoy that. Perhaps when this is all over...'

For once, Faith did not feel apprehensive about talking about it, about the future, when it was so uncertain. She allowed herself the tiniest glimmer of hope, of imagining what could yet be, and allowed the open happiness to cross her face. Liara responded likewise, smile broadening, eyes taking a slightly wicked glint.

'We would have to find you a hobby, though. Perhaps you would like to join me on my digs?'

Faith shuddered internally at the thought of spending endless weeks digging in the ground. She loved Liara's absolute obsession with the Protheans, despite the research having taken a somewhat more... grimly relevant turn over the past few years, but did not share the asari's enthusiasm with the ancient culture. But she could enjoy Liara's enjoyment.

'Is that what you want to do?'

'Go back to a life of quiet digs and research nobody cares about?' Liara chuckled, 'It holds an appeal to me; I will not deny it.'

'Then you should do it. Maybe you'll need a bodyguard? I could do that. Looking intimidating, watching you dig in the dirt, in a tightly fitted archaeologist's uniform...'

Liara bumped their shoulders together again. 'Be serious. What would you like to do?'

'I've honestly got no idea. I...' her gaze flickered downwards, but she knew that Liara already suspected what she was about to say. 'I like fighting. Other than spending time with you, it's the only thing that - God, it sounds stupid - I feel at peace when I'm fighting. Not the actual killing or anything; just using what I've been taught, being as good as I can be at the one thing I know I'm good at. When my heart's pounding, when there's noise, danger, everywhere, and everything else just kind of fades away...' her heart began to beat faster at the thought, and she hated that it did. 'That doesn't bode well for me, does it? I can't do that forever.' she looked again to Liara. 'I don't want to do it forever. I want to be something different, better. For you.'

Liara took her hand. 'You have never been anything other than a soldier, Faith. If you want to, you will learn something new, learn new skills to perfect. We will just have to discover what you like. Together.'

Together...

She ignored the niggling voice, telling her that thinking this way, of a future that was all too uncertain, was dangerous. The moment was too perfect to allow such thoughts to darken it; one last moment of almost childish imagining, before the fight began once more.

She squeezed Liara's hand, reaching over and planting a gentle kiss onto the deep blue lips before her. 'I'm looking forward to finding out what that is. Together.'


A/N: Thank you Jay8008 for beta reading, and a sanity check on this one.

I also forgot to credit Tayg for her contribution to the previous chapter - please accept this belated thank you!