Author's Note: A little talk and a warning from big brother, perhaps, would help. Would it?
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 22
Edward's Point of View
I had been studying ever since I'd gotten up at eight in the morning. It was now nearly two o'clock. I had another hour left before my exam, and I needed to cram as much as I could.
Tanya had called on me earlier. I'd sent her away, not because I didn't want to see her, but because I had to study. She'd understood and had left me alone. I'd promised to meet her later in her single dorm room.
Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. I jumped slightly, startled. I glanced back, distracted.
"Come in, it's unlocked," I called, turning back to my books quickly.
"Hey, bro." It was Emmett.
"Emmett," I said, annoyed as I scribbled frantically on my notes. "I have an exam in an hour."
"I know," Emmett said, sitting down on my bed. "But I have some good news. How come you didn't pick up your phone? Bella called you about ten minutes ago."
"Huh?" I glanced at my phone. Sure enough, I had one missed call from the most important person in my life. "Oh, shit. I had it on silent. Why'd she call me?"
"I told you," Emmett said, grinning suddenly. "It's good news. Congrats, man. Looks like you'll be a father."
I blinked. "What?"
"I'm telling you that Bella is pregnant, you idiot," Emmett said, rolling his eyes. "She says it's been eight weeks already. She just found out today though. She must have gotten pregnant on your honeymoon."
I was speechless. I couldn't think straight.
He guffawed. "Say something. I know you're happy and all, but don't you think you should call her back? She's been pretty depressed lately because you've neglected to call her."
I immediately fell guilty again. Because I knew that I had cheated on her.
"Oh," I murmured to myself, filled with remorse. And I knew I had to end this.
I had fooled around with another woman because I had been lonely without Bella by my side. But now that the responsibility of becoming a father had been handed to me, I knew that I couldn't continue this. I would have to break it up with Tanya tonight.
"Hey, you okay, man?" Emmett asked.
"Yeah," I answered quickly. "I'm fine."
He looked at me strangely. "Do you have anything to tell me?"
I stared at him. It was as if he already knew…
"Alice was here yesterday," he said, his eyes narrowing. "Looking for you. She was getting frustrated because you haven't been calling Bella frequently. She said that she was going to see what you were up to."
My breathing stopped. Oh, no.
"What…what time did she come here?" I asked as casually as I could, as if I was merely curious.
"Around eleven in the morning. Why?"
Eleven. I'd been at the library with Tanya at that time. We'd been discussing things that a married man should not have. Had Alice heard me? Had she seen with me Tanya?
"Hey," Emmett said, frowning as he bit his lip. "Look. Maybe Alice is jumping to conclusions. And you know her, she loves to spread rumors. She might have seen wrong, but I still want to trust you. You're my brother; I wouldn't want to be suspicious of my own bro. But…" He sighed, fixing his eyes on me. "You're married, man. You've got to stop playing around."
Yes. Yes, he knew. Alice had seen me with Tanya, and she'd even heard our conversation. And she'd told Emmett. Had she told Jasper too? Or even worse, Bella as well?
I stared at him, unable to defend myself. Because I knew it was all true, and that I'd done wrong.
"Think of Bella, Edward," Emmett said, still frowning. "We've known her since we were little. We've watched her grow up. And to be honest, you're the reason she's in this position right now. She's married because of you. You told her that you loved her, and you're the one that chose to propose to her. And you're also the reason why she's pregnant with your child right now.
"I don't know where your mind's been these last few weeks, but you've got to snap out of it. That girl's obviously just using you. She wants fame and attention, and she definitely wants you. She knows that you're married, but that won't stop her, unless you tell her to stop. You're the only one who can put an end to all of this. Do you understand what I'm saying here, bro?"
I couldn't even nod. I was too stunned. How did he know so much?
I'd forgotten how smart Emmett actually was. He was a prankster and annoying sometimes, but that didn't mean that he was ignorant. He was intelligent. He wouldn't be at Harvard, studying to be a lawyer if he wasn't.
"Think of Bella," he repeated. "Think of her, and your child. You've got to stop this, Edward. It isn't right."
"I don't…understand," I said slowly, finally regaining my train of thoughts. "You knew I was cheating on Bella."
He merely stared at me with unfathomable eyes.
"Yet…you're not even shouting at me," I said. "Why? Shouldn't you be practically beating me up?"
"I know that you feel that this is wrong, Edward," Emmett said. "I'm not an idiot. I can feel the remorse and guiltiness radiating off of you. You know that what you're doing is wrong, but you're helpless under her seduction. But unless you put a stop to this… Well, I'm telling you now that you're going to be regretting it for the rest of your life. Don't take Bella for granted, Edward. She may not always be there for you."
I blinked. He was right. Why had it taken me this long? Why did I have to wait until someone could spell it out completely for me? I was an idiot.
Emmett regarded me reproachfully. "I'm not going to tattletale on you this time because I understand. You're stressed out, and you're lonely without Bella. I understand, Edward. But that doesn't mean I approve. You'd better cut this out. Consider this a warning. Next time, I will tell Bella."
I nodded slowly, not only agreeing to his terms, but also agreeing with my brain that I really had to end this. I would never forgive myself if I'd hurt Bella.
"Call her," Emmett urged. "Don't tell her the real reason why you didn't call her before. Just tell her that you were busy. And show her that you really do love her." He stared at me sternly before smiling slightly. "Congrats, bro. I'll see you later." He patted my back twice before exiting my room.
I didn't know if I could call her. I knew that I had to. But I was overcome with guilt and remorse that I didn't know if I could talk to her casually. Had Alice told her?
Finally, after five minutes of battling myself internally, I picked up my phone slowly. And I dialed her number. It rang five times before she answered.
"Hello?"
Her voice sent chills down my spine. I hadn't heard it in so long. It felt good and relieving to hear her. I missed her even more. And I felt worse.
"Bella," I said.
"Edward?" Bella asked, her voice brightening up considerably. "Is that you?"
I smiled bitterly. She was beginning to doubt me. I wanted to beat myself up.
"It's me," I replied. "How are you?"
"I'm…" Bella hesitated. "I'm fine. How are you, Edward?"
I could tell that she'd been worrying about me constantly. "I'm fine, of course." I paused. "I heard from Emmett. I couldn't believe it. Is it really true, Bella?"
She laughed twice happily. "Yeah. It's true. I feel so happy."
I smiled. It felt more real this time. Because I felt happy too. I was becoming a father.
"Thank you, Bella," I said sincerely. "I…I really can't tell you how happy I am. Thank you."
She was silent for a beat. "I was worried, Edward. Why didn't you call me?"
I froze. I'd been hoping that she wouldn't ask me that. "I was…busy. There have been so many exams lately, and I've been studying constantly." What a liar I was. "I'm sorry, Bella. I know it's a pathetic excuse, but it's true." It so wasn't. I wanted to shoot myself for lying to her.
"I understand," Bella reassured me, making me feel even worse. I was such a terrible husband. "I really do. I thought it was something like that. I mean, of course Alice was seeing things…" She was muttering to herself now.
Alice. She'd talked to Alice. Alice had told her.
I bit my lip. Luckily, it looked as though Bella had refused to believe my sister. I felt bad again. Here I was, being disloyal to my wife, while she was at home waiting for me, loyal and trusting. I didn't deserve her.
"It's really lucky that you'll be graduating soon, eh?" I asked, trying to sound more cheerful. "Looks like you'll have to wait a year or so before you start college."
"I know," Bella said. "But I really don't mind. I feel like this baby is the center of my world. I can't live without it now."
She sounded so happy that I couldn't talk to her anymore. Swallowing hard, I took a deep breath.
"Bella," I said. "I'm sorry, but I have an exam in thirty minutes. I'll call you soon, okay, love?"
"Okay," Bella responded easily. "Good luck!"
I smiled slightly. "Thank you. Bye."
I bit my lip when I'd hung up. I really hated myself sometimes.
I knocked on Tanya's door, determined. I was going to end it tonight.
The door opened immediately, and there she was, looking as radiant as she always did. She was wearing a way too short miniskirt and a tank top.
"Hey, Edward," she greeted me. "Come in!"
I walked inside her decorated room and sat on the edge of her bed. She sat next to me, too close for my liking.
"So how was your exam?" she asked coyly. "You think you passed?"
I bit my lip, frowning slightly. "Look, Tanya. I have something to tell you."
Her smile faded slightly as if she knew exactly what I was on about.
"I really enjoyed spending time with you these past few weeks," I began. "I really enjoyed your company, and I felt intrigued. But… I'm married, Tanya. I have a beautiful, loyal wife who is waiting for me at home, while I'm out here…cheating on her. I just can't…I just can't go on any longer."
Tanya's eyes looked cold and merciless. I knew this wasn't going to be easy.
"Edward," she said in a steely tone. "I thought we talked about this. You said yourself that you weren't cheating. You regarded me only as a friend, remember? Are you trying to break our friendship?"
"This isn't a friendship," I snapped. "You're obviously looking for something more than a simple friendship, Tanya. I've been falling into your seducing traps for a long time now, but don't think that I've been blind. I knew exactly what you've been trying to do, but I was helpless. You were just so…interesting." I looked at her pleadingly. "Let's stop this, Tanya. Don't do this to me anymore. Don't…don't confuse me any longer."
Tanya wasn't giving up. "No. I already told you earlier, didn't I? I like you, Edward. No, maybe more than like. I swear, I can love you way more than your wife can. She's barely eighteen! She's still young! How do you know that she won't run off with another man?"
"She won't run off," I said. "She's not the type to do that. Besides, she's…she's…" I took a deep breath. "There's another reason why I'm doing this right now, Tanya. I've been feeling guilty for a while, but I feel even more compelled to end this right now. Because Bella's pregnant with my child, Tanya. I can't…I can't do this to her."
Tanya's eyes flashed incredulously. "Pregnant? You're kidding. You haven't seen her since your honeymoon, Edward. How could she be pregnant? She's obviously lying."
"Don't talk about her like that," I snapped. "She's been pregnant ever since our honeymoon. She just didn't know until today. Look, Tanya, let's stop this. I can't keep seeing you. Not when she trusts me like this."
"Are you a coward?" Tanya demanded. "I thought you were confident about everything you did, Edward. When you accepted my feelings for you, there was no turning back. I don't care if you're married or not! You'll be separated from her sooner or later."
I rose from the bed abruptly.
"Don't say things so carelessly," I spit through my teeth. "Don't you dare insult my wife, Tanya Denali! I know I've done wrong by seeing you while I was married to her, but I won't forgive you if you insult her!"
Tanya sneered. "Oh, please. Come on, Edward. I bet I'm much more beautiful than she is. I can tell what my very presence does to you. You can't fight me. It's too late. You can't break ties with me."
I stared into her icy blue eyes, and realized that she was right. I was in too deep. Even now, even as she insulted my Bella, I couldn't bring myself to end things completely with her. I was trapped.
"Edward," Tanya coaxed in a pleading voice. It was too intoxicating. Her every move was done perfectly. She had me completely wrapped around her finger. "Don't do this. Forget about her. Forget that guilty feeling. Just think about me. I'm here. She's not. Forget about her. And look at me."
She was standing now too, gazing into my eyes. I felt sluggish. It was like I was hypnotized. I couldn't think straight…
And then, she leaned in and her lips met mine.
I couldn't help myself. My brain controlled my body while my heart was screaming no. Need overruled my better judgement, and I pulled her closer in resignation, kissing her more deeply.
AN: ARGH! Even as I was writing this chapter, I felt frustrated. He really is being stupid, isn't he? Hee. Don't hate him too much, though. This is just the beginning. Reviews, please!
Oh, and Happy New Year! May all of you have a wonderful 2013! We didn't die in 2012, so I guess we'll be good for, I don't know, another ten years before they predict another "end of the world?" ;)
