Hello everyone!
Glad to see that so many of you enjoyed last chapter! It was fun to include some more tense and angsty stuff in this story!
This chapter isn't that angsty, but there's a lot of emotion boucing around all over the place, so prepare for the very shifting moods of one Harry Potter.
With that said, on with the story!
The sound of the door slamming shut behind Sirius seemed to shake Harry out of his frozen state and he moved to run after the man, but Voldemort stopped him by placing a heavy hand on his shoulder.
"Forget him, Harry. If he chooses to listen to Dumbledore's lies and discards you because of it, he's not worth your time and energy." The words sounded so cold, so hollow, to Harry's ears that he at first had trouble responding to them. However, the anger that had previously been directed towards the memories of how Dumbledore had treated him, was now channelled to deal with the red-eyed man in front of him.
"Don't touch me!" he snarled, green eyes flashing brightly with unspilled tears making them seem even more of a brilliant emerald than usual. "You have no idea what just happen, do you? What you saw was just a man, a friend of my parents, but to me Sirius Black was a piece of the life I could've had, a life where I had a proper family who loved me for who I am! Someone who could've seen me as just Harry, not the fucking Boy-Who-Lived or some useful fiancée."
His anger made him brave and Harry swatted the arm on his shoulder away with an impatient gesture. Lucius stepped towards him, prepared to try to calm the tempers a little, but Harry spun around to face him as well.
"And what made you think you could just sign that contract without me knowing anything about it, hmm?" With one last hateful glance to either of the two men, Harry stalked towards the door and made sure to slam it as hard as he could behind him, before running in the direction of his bedroom, the tears that he had furiously tried to suppress now rolling down his face, obstructing his vision. Reaching the room, Harry quickly shoved the armchair in front of the door to prevent anyone from entering and then threw himself on the bed. Everything seemed so empty now. For one shining, brilliant moment, he had seen the possibility of a new life opening before him, a life where someone who could be both his best friend and a substitute parent, was there for him. To then have that possibility cruelly ripped away from him hurt more than he had ever thought possible.
'I only knew him for such a short time, yet it hurts so much!' Harry thought as he clutched the sheets between his fingers, as if he wanted to inflict the same amount of pain on them as he himself was experiencing.
It seemed like Sirius' face was imprinted on the insides of his eyelids, as that was the only thing Harry could see when he closed his eyes. The hurt and betrayed look, the hateful glare he had shot Voldemort and Lucius before disappearing out the door, the way that tired face had split into a wide grin and his eyes had lit up when he had first seen Harry enter… It was all there and the pictures seemed to be played in loop in his mind. Growling, Harry pressed the back of his hands to his eyes, trying to block out every thought of Sirius Black, though it was a futile attempt.
'I've lost the one person who might've appreciated me for who I am. Voldemort just proved that he is a slimy, inconsiderate jerk. What did he mean 'not worth my time'? Sirius Black is my godfather, so of course he's worth my time!' Harry fumed, the anger previously directed at himself now shifted towards Voldemort. It seemed so long ago that the man had appeared almost human, with the ability to care and sympathize. Harry could still remember the soft look on the man's face when they had talked together in the living room and how, without it having any advantage in it to himself, had fixed Harry's eyesight. Voldemort had seemed… kind, as strange as that concept sounded after having been told from everyone around him that the Dark Lord was incapable of any softer emotions than glee when watching other people suffering.
'How could I've been so stupid as to think he cares for anything other than having the bloody Boy-Who-Lived on his side, to flaunt it in Dumbledore's face that he lost his oh, so precious chess piece.' With a disgusted frown on his face, part because of Voldemort and part because he felt like a bloody schoolgirl, Harry jumped out of the bed and marched into the bathroom where he proceeded to fill the tub with scalding hot water. As the steam steadily filled the room, Harry quickly undressed and carefully lowered himself into the water. Right now he needed to think and to be alone. Everything else would have to come later.
Voldemort was pacing back and forth, still in Lucius' office. The blond was standing off to the side, carefully watching his Lord. The furious expression on his face told Lucius that it would be highly unwise to interrupt the man in his thoughts.
"How dare that little whelp talk back to me like that? It was obvious that Black made his choice and Harry should be smart enough to see that it was the wrong one. If that stupid mutt would rather side with Dumbledore, then the boy is stupid for moping over that. Black is an idiot, but he'll sooner or later realize the truth about Dumbledore and when that happens, he'll probably come crawling back to ask for forgiveness."
Lucius very wisely didn't say anything. It was obvious that the Dark Lord wouldn't appreciate any thoughtful remarks from the Malfoy anyway.
"Why can't he realize that he will be better off on my side, where he will not be lied to or used? His behaviour just goes beyond my understanding. All these feelings running through the boy is impacting his sense of judgment, causing him to make the wrong decisions over and over again."
Voldemort had now stopped pacing and threw himself angrily down into a chair. Though he would never admit it to Lucius, he cared for Harry in a way he never thought possible. During their conversation earlier that night, he had watched Harry as the boy implicitly trusted him enough to close his eyes and completely lay himself at the Dark Lord's mercy. 'Stupid boy, I could've hexed him into a wall and he would've been completely defenceless.' The Dark Lord thought with a sneer, which somehow wasn't as intimidating as it usually was. The brilliant green of Harry's eyes still seemed to flash before his vision and the expression on his face when he realized he no longer needed those glasses… The way his eyes had softened and shone with amazement and hesitating gratitude and how the boy had looked up and smiled at him… Voldemort stopped himself before he fell even deeper into this exploration of the different expressions Harry was able to make. It wouldn't do for the Dark Lord to behave like a lovesick schoolgirl after all.
With a decisive gesture, Voldemort rose from the chair and quickly made his way towards the door, passing a rather bewildered Lucius on the way.
"Where are you going, my Lord?" he asked and quickly added, when red eyes flashed dangerously at him for his daring to ask questions "if you would be obliged to tell me, I mean. I need to make sure to have a ready answer for the guests wondering where you have gone. After all, I'm quite certain that the ball should now reach its end, with the main attraction disappearing and all."
"I'm going to find that 'main attraction' and bring some sense into his thick skull.' Voldemort snarled and with that slammed the door behind him. Lucius sighed, wondering how many times he would have to listen to doors slamming shut that night.
Hermione was sitting in the Gryffindor common room, seemingly deeply absorbed in a large tome on runes, but she hadn't read a sentence in at least ten minutes. Her mind was occupied, as it had been for the last couple of days, with the missing member of their trio. She remembered her and Ron's conversation with headmaster Dumbledore the day before and for some reason, she had been unable to shrug off a growing sense of unease. Something about the look in the headmaster's eye had alarmed her and she didn't know why. What she had become increasingly aware of, however, was that she needed both points of view. Both Harry's and Dumbledore's. How she was going to accomplish this was yet an undecided matter, but she wasn't the brightest witch of their year for nothing. She would figure it out.
Glancing up from her book, she watched Ron talk animatedly with his younger sister, Ginny. The two Weasleys both wore matching expressions of anger and jealousy, meaning Hermione didn't have to hear them to know what, or rather who, they were talking about. Both of the redheads had been adamant that they were all better off without Harry, though they thought so for different reasons. Ron claimed that Harry only sought fame and glory, gaining it through trampling Ron and his other friends down in the mud, while Ginny was purely jealous though Hermione couldn't figure out why. It was no secret in Hogwarts that the Golden Boy had lost two of his, assumedly, most loyal friends, but people were still unsure about Hermione. After their meeting with Dumbledore, she had been unusually quite, avoiding people for the most part or pretending to be absorbed in books when she couldn't escape the social pressure. She had played along during the meeting with Dumbledore, pretending that she agreed with both the headmaster and Ron, but inside she was puzzled. The Harry she had come to know and love was not the kind of person who would just abandon his friends without a care in the world. Putting her hand in the pocket of her robe, Hermione clutched the letter she had received just a couple of days ago, the day when Harry had been moved to Malfoy Manor, and she suddenly reached a decision.
Closing the book and putting it neatly back in her bag, she rose and made her way towards the portrait hole.
"'Mione, where are you going?" Ron called out after her.
"Just heading over to the library. I need to hand back this book I've been reading." She smiled at him and, when he turned back towards Ginny, she quickly exited the common room and headed towards the Owlery. Hermione Granger was not used to not knowing everything about a topic and, finding this particular subject of her best friend's life sorely lacking in information, she sat down on the floor of the tower, pursed her lips a little and started writing the long-awaited answer to Harry's letter.
As the steam had successfully calmed him down, along with the warmth of the soapy water he was sitting in, Harry leant his head against the wall behind him. As usually happens after one experiences strong emotions, Harry felt drained and tired, as if the anger and hurt he had been wallowing until then had zapped what energy he had left and now he was only able to mindlessly soak in the tub. During his bath he had been given ample time for consideration, both of his previous life, as he had come to call the time before discovering Dumbledore was a cheating liar, and the future that lay in front of him. Both of which seemed quite depressing to him.
Sighing loudly, he rose and wrapped himself in one of the many thick, white towels in hanging from a rack nearby, and walked over to the mirror to stare at his reflection. Big green eyes looked back at him through his messy, and currently wet, bangs. His skin seemed paler than usual. 'Probably a side effect of living with the Malfoys' he snorted and had to smile, despite himself, at the thought of the porcelain complexion of the pureblood family being contagious. Ruffling through his hair with his fingers, Harry absentmindedly grabbed a shirt and a pair of boxers before heading back into the bedroom, dressing as he walked over to the bookcase.
Throwing himself down into the chair, Harry stared at the books, but didn't really see them. His thoughts were straying and were revolving around that topic which had been the source of his frustration since coming to Malfoy Manor. Which side was right, Dumbledore's or Voldemort's? The only thing he knew for certain was that Dumbledore had lied to him and that Voldemort, though he hadn't lied, was the leader of the Death Eaters and responsible for the deaths of… Harry didn't even know how many had fallen victim to the man's ambitions. There was no question that the man was ruthless, ambitious and not willing to stop at anything to obtain his goals. On the other hand, Voldemort had shown Harry that he was able to show emotions, or at least pretend to. So which side could he side with? As it now stood, Harry decided that he would stay true to his declaration of neutrality and watch the proceedings before making his decision.
Harry was shocked out of his musings by a loud and angry rap on the door and Voldemort strode in without waiting for a reply. Harry squeaked when he realized he was only wearing boxers and a shirt, but Voldemort didn't seem to notice or care. His face was impassive, but his eyes seemed to glow a fiery hot red and Harry suddenly understood just why people feared this man so much.
Stopping right in front of Harry, Voldemort crossed his arms and stared down at the boy in front of him.
"Care to tell me just what you meant by that earlier display of sickening and displaced loyalty?" His voice was low, but there was a hint of threat there, as if Harry had better answer his question or else…
Feeling like evening their standing just a little, Harry rose, but immediately regretted it as he only reached the older man's chest. Drawing his breath, Harry decided to be as truthful as he could and hope Voldemort would understand his reasoning.
"Sirius is my godfather. For all my life I have wanted a family, someone who loved me for who I am and who wouldn't shout at me or ignore me as if my very presence pained them. When I heard that Sirius could be that family, the hope I carried with me for twelve years finally seemed to come to fruition, that the family I'd waited for so long had finally arrived." Harry tried to keep his voice steady, but wasn't able to stop his throat to constrict at the end of his explanation. Voldemort didn't say anything, just stared at Harry with increasing intensity, as if looking for any sign of him hiding the truth from him.
"So when Sirius walked out that door, basically telling me he wants nothing to do with me, my hopes were shattered. The hope I'd been nursing for all my life, just like that, was shattered before my eyes." Unable to keep the anger out of his voice, Harry stared firmly back at Voldemort. "And when you said that he wasn't worth caring about, you basically said that my hope was silly and simply not worth wasting time over. Of course that would make me lash out! You had no business telling me what to feel or think. I am my own person and I have my own opinions which may or may not coincide with your own ideas about the world."
His previous fury had come back as he was talking and the last words were almost shouted at the other man. That Voldemort still didn't show any reaction just infuriated Harry more and he glared at him while digging his nails into his palms.
"So, what are you gonna do about it, hmm? Torture me for daring to talk back to you? Lock me up in my room? Control my life just as Dumbledore did?"
His tirade was cut short when Voldemort, in two long strides, walked over to him and, to Harry's incredulous surprise, wrapped his arms around him tightly. Not daring to say a word, Harry froze waited anxiously for what Voldemort would do next.
"You needn't fear me, Harry. Though you might not believe me, I don't want you harmed and I will certainly not break me own promise to keep you safe. When Black walked out that door, I could see he had hurt you and I only wanted to soothe the wound his leaving left you with." With a snort he added, "Though my way of doing that might have been less than optimal."
Releasing the boy, Voldemort stepped back and looked Harry in the eyes. "You might not choose to believe me, but I honestly didn't intend to hurt your feelings. In my view, it was Black who should be the object of your anger and not me, however, I can see why you chose to unleash it upon me and Lucius."
Harry noticed that Voldemort didn't fully admit he was in the wrong, but chose to focus on the fact that the man actually had, in some way, tried to ask for forgiveness rather than to chastise him for laying the blame on Sirius.
"Thank you." He said quietly, avoiding those piercing red eyes. "I'm still angry at you, but I can see why you said what you did."
Voldemort opened his mouth to address the fact that, in his mind, Harry had no business being angry at him at all, but then thought the better of it and remained silent.
"Anyway, I still stand by my choice of being neutral as to what side to choose, but I would appreciate it if you could teach me more about just what the Dark stands for and how you plan on executing your plans. Though I don't see myself returning to Dumbledore anytime soon, I'm not willing to join the Dark if the things the headmaster told me about you wishing to exterminate all muggles is true."
Voldemort rolled his eyes, something Harry found rather amusing, and shook his head. "I have never said I wanted to 'exterminate' muggles. I-"
A loud rap on the window caused both Voldemort and Harry to turn their heads towards the sound and Harry immediately spotted the distinguished-looking Hogwarts owl impatiently hitting the window with its beak. Hurrying over, he opened the window and the owl flew in, dropped a letter on Harry's head and then flew out the way it came. The raven-haired boy muttered something about insufferable and pompous owls, but picked up the letter, turning it so he could see whose handwriting the address was written in. To his surprise, the well-known orderly hand of Hermione met his eyes and Harry hurriedly ripped the envelope open, eager to read what the girl had to say.
Dear Harry
I'm so sorry that I haven't written you earlier! I'll explain everything, I promise, but first let me answer your questions as well as I can.
Headmaster Dumbledore didn't say much about it other than that he suspected Mr Malfoy of having bribed the Wizengamot to both deny Dumbledore a seat among them and also to obtain guardianship of you. According to the headmaster, it's all a plot to get you closer to You-Know-Who so that he can kill you. However, I don't believe that is true. There's something off about the headmaster, though I can't really put my finger on it. The one thing I do know, however, is that you're not the kind of person to just abandon your friends and give up without a fight. If Malfoy Sr. really had forced you to come to Malfoy Manor, I'm sure you would've fought back or tried to contact me, though that might've been impossible if you really were held there as a prisoner.
Also, as a magical guardian, Malfoy is forced to treat you with respect and if anything were to happen to you, he would be the prime suspect. That's why I don't believe headmaster Dumbledore when he says that Malfoy is planning to use his guardianship as a way of offering you to the Dark. Whatever you might say about the Malfoys, they aren't that stupid.
Anyway. I haven't written you earlier because things are a bit difficult over here at the moment. Ron and Ginny are convinced you're only after fame and fortune and have left them behind to enjoy life as the rich adoptive son of Lucius Malfoy, thus in their eyes becoming just another Slytherin. I'm afraid they both see you as a traitor and they firmly believe in Dumbledore's side of the story. Though I realize this must be a hard blow to you, I just want to say that I will be there for you whenever you need me. I'm not sure what Malfoy has planned regarding you coming back to Hogwarts, but I hope to see you soon regardless! I'll sneak out during a weekend or something if I have to. Honestly, you and Ron has ruined whatever respect I used to have for rules…
Please write me back as soon as you can! Hope you're safe!
Love
Hermione
Sometime during reading the letter, tears had started falling from Harry's eyes and he had to quickly wipe them away, as they were obscuring his vision. Voldemort frowned, but before he could say anything, Harry looked up with a brilliant smile on his face.
"I still have someone who doesn't think I'm a traitor, someone who has seen through Dumbledore's plots and who's willing to place her bets on me!"
Feeling his spirits rising exponentially, Harry carefully folded the letter and put it in his pocket. His mind was working quickly, trying to find out how to convince the Dark Lord that he should let a muggleborn come visit at Malfoy Manor. Not coming up with any ingenious ways of proposing this, Harry decided that honesty was the best route and so he steeled himself and looked Voldemort in the eyes.
"The letter was from my best friend, Hermione Granger. She wants to know I'm okay and also, she wants to meet me. Can she come visit me here at Malfoy Manor?" with a sly glance up at the man, he added. "After all, after the scene with Sirius I think you owe me a chance to save whatever friendships I still have."
I don't care what some people think of Hermione, I think she's brilliant, so she's staying! Finally something that goes Harry's way for once, eh?
From this point onwards, there will be a lot of plotting from Dumbledore, a lot of explaining from Voldemort and probably a lot of confusion on Harry's side. Hopefully Hermione will be able to help him out?
Also, what do you guys think? I'm wondering whether or not to go the Dramione route, but it won't play a large role in the story. It will be mentioned and will of course be noticeable when they are all hanging out, but I want to ask you guys whether or not you'd want that pairing.
Hope you liked the chapter! Please review as reviews make me a very happy (and holefully productive) writer!
