Author's Note: Short chapter below, but oh well. They can't always be long. Enjoy just the same.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 34
I was depressed. And I was miserable.
I was still thinking about that option, but I was almost there. I was almost convinced.
My family all took turns watching me. Today, I was with Esme. She was comfortable to be around with because she kept me company in silence. She didn't force me to make a conversation.
The door suddenly opened, and to my shock, Edward walked in. He looked just as miserable as I felt, but he seemed determined to talk to me.
"Can I talk to Bella alone for a minute?" he asked stiffly.
Esme glanced at him nervously. Then, she looked at me, but when I didn't say anything, she rose from her seat and left the room.
I glared into nothing. What was he doing? How dare he show his face to me?
"Bella," Edward said softly. "I know I don't deserve to even talk to you anymore. But will you listen for just a second?"
I remained stubbornly silent. He went on without waiting for an answer.
"I'm so…incredibly sorry for what's happened," he said. "I feel horrible for causing all of this. I didn't realize how badly this would turn out. If I had, I wouldn't have done it."
So he was here to apologize. He was trying to convince me not to leave him. Jasper had been right. He really was afraid.
"You must hate me," Edward said quietly. "I understand. You have every right to do so. I know you don't want to talk to me, or even see me, for that matter. But I had to do something. Because I couldn't stand not seeing you for a long time, Bella.
"I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for everything that I did wrong. I broke my promise to you, and I hurt you." He paused. "Bella. I know that, after everything that's happened, it's hard to believe me. But I wanted to tell you…that I still love you. That thing with Tanya was just a mistake. And, if it's possible at all, I would do anything to prove it to you."
I could feel the waterworks starting again. I turned my head away from him to hide my tears. What was I supposed to do? I still loved him, but I couldn't bear to see him anymore.
The door opened again, and Jasper stormed in, looking furious. Alice and Emmett were right behind him, trying to reason with him.
Edward turned to my brother. "Jasper, I…"
Jasper glared at him. "How dare you come in here? How dare you talk to Bella? Do you think you have a right to tell her that you love her anymore?"
Edward was silent.
"Jasper," Emmett said. "I'm sure Edward was only trying to tell Bella how sorry he was-"
"Sorry?" Jasper shouted. "Of course he should be sorry!"
"Jasper," Alice pleaded. "Please…"
Jasper grabbed Edward by the collar of his shirt. He dragged him out of the room, and I knew that he was going outside to beat him up. Alice and Emmett ran after them, trying to persuade Jasper otherwise, but I knew that my brother was beyond furious. He was going to make Edward pay for making me cry.
I began crying again. As hurt as I was, I couldn't bear to see Edward getting beaten up.
Esme came running back in. She wrapped her arms around me comfortingly. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry…"
I sobbed into her shoulder quietly. What else could I do? As much as I hated to see Edward beaten up, I also wanted Jasper to teach him a lesson.
I was torn between two choices. What should I do?
Edward's Point of View
I let Jasper drag me outside the hospital. This was better than a silent treatment. I would rather get hit a couple times. I deserved it.
Once we were outside, Jasper let go of my shirt. He punched me in the face, and I fell to the floor. I didn't do anything to defend myself as he dragged me up again. He punched me again.
"Jasper!" Alice screamed as she tried to drag him back, sobbing. "No! Don't do this, please!"
"Jasper, no!" Emmett shouted, but it was too late. Jasper had pushed away Alice, and had punched me again.
By this time, my lip was bleeding, and my cheek was swollen. I was on the ground again. Emmett tried to protect me, but Jasper pushed him out of the way.
"You deserve this, Edward Cullen!" he growled as he grabbed me by my collar again. "This is for making her cry!" He punched me again, harder this time.
I fell to the ground, breathing hard. Emmett was on the ground with me, supporting me.
"NO!" Alice shrieked, using all her strength to hold her lover back. "No, Jasper… Please…"
Jasper stood over me, breathing hard, tears in his eyes. "You promised me," he said, his voice shaking now. "You promised me, Edward! You swore to make her happy! You swore never to make her cry!"
I stared at the ground, tears brimming in my own eyes. I didn't even feel the pain on my face. The pain in my heart was bigger.
"You said you loved her," Jasper said, his voice breaking. "You told me not to worry!" He fell to his knees. He grabbed me by the collar and shook me. "Why? Why did you have to do this? Why did you have to make her cry? Why did you have to hurt her?"
The tears in my eyes spilled over. It streamed down my cheek silently. I couldn't answer.
"She's my only sister," Jasper whispered, sounding heartbroken. "I cared for her my entire life. Do you know how it feels, seeing her broken?"
Alice was crying silently, her hand covering her mouth. Emmett looked grim.
"I should have stopped you," Jasper said. "I shouldn't have listened to her. I should have come to kick your ass. But do you know what she told me? She asked me to trust her." He laughed humorlessly. "Do you know what the biggest mistake of my life is? Letting you marry her. I knew everything was too good to be true."
"I'm…sorry…Jasper," I whispered brokenly. "But what am I supposed to do? I love her. I can't…live…without her." And I couldn't help but sob quietly.
I grieved for her. I wanted her, but it was too late.
I didn't deserve her.
Bella's Point of View
I watched the whole thing happen from my window. Conveniently, Jasper had chosen to beat Edward up right below my room.
Edward was doing nothing to defend himself. He just accepted each punch Jasper aimed at him, and he took it without complaint. I knew that he felt like he deserved it.
Alice and Emmett were trying their best to stop him, but it was no use. Once Jasper got started, he couldn't be restrained.
Though I resented him, it was still hard to watch as he got hit over and over. Because of me. All because of me.
Finally, they both dropped down on the ground. I couldn't hear what they were saying anymore, but I could see that they were both crying.
It was shocking to see my brother and Edward cry. They were the toughest men that I'd ever known. I realized what a hard time they were both having. Again, all because of me.
It was time to end this. It was time to stop grieving and start living. I had to find a way out of this hole. And I knew exactly what I had to do.
"Bella, dear," Esme said tentatively. "Why don't you come back to bed? Aren't you getting tired?"
I continued to stare down at the four people outside. "Esme?"
"Yes, Bella?"
I focused my eyes on the man who had ruined my life. "What would you say if I told you that I couldn't live with Edward anymore?"
Esme stared at me in horror. "B-Bella… You're not going to…?"
I took a deep breath, inhaling the slightly cool air. "The weather's nice today. Don't you think?"
AN: If I do say so myself, I'm very proud of how I ended this chapter. Heh. ;) So it seems…Bella has made up her mind. What do you think?
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. Faithfully. Thanks to each and every one of you, we finally reached seven hundred reviews! I really think we can take this story to over one thousand, because there will be a lot more chapters from now on. Keep 'em coming, guys, and don't neglect to leave a review on what you thought of this chapter!
