Fool for trying
DISCLAIMER: I do not own glee and the song is wasting all these tears on you by Cassidy pope
Brittany walked into glee with her head down. She knew Santana's eyes were on her as she made her way up to the piano and handed over sheet music to the kinda creepy piano player. She had only ever sung by herself in front of the club usually happy to just help plan choreography but she had something to say and sometimes it was easier to express through song. At least that is what she told herself as she stared out over the other glee kids. Rachel who had known what she was going to do gave her a smile of encouragement from where she sat beside Finn. She smiled back taking a deep breath.
The piano started up and after a few beats she sang, " I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle, laying on the bathroom floor" she was proud of herself for not letting her voice crack with emotion, " My loneliness was a rattle in the window, you said you don't want me anymore"
She knew the words were a little off from her situation. Although Santana hadn't told her that she didn't want her anymore she might as well have when she refused to go public with their relationship. Everytime Santana did this it pushed them a little farther apart. Brittany was tired of hiding, tired of feeling ashamed for having these feelings. It made her angry that Santana was too ashamed to be open, but mostly it just hurt.
She put all that emotion into her next words, " and you left me standing on the corner crying, feeling like a fool for trying, I don't even remember why Im wasting all these tears on you, I wish I could erase our memory"
She saw Santana flinch at those words.
" Cause you didn't give a damn about me, oh finally I'm through wasting all these tears on you"
" You aint worth another sleepless night" She sang, but she knew it was a lie. She would still sit up each night and wish that things could be different, that Santana would suddenly come climbing up to her window and tell her everything was going to be alright and the next day at school they would walk hand in hand through the halls of school, " and I'll do anything to keep you off my mind" she looked to Artie, she felt bad for not being able to love him the way that he loved her but at least he wasn't ashamed to be seen with her, and she did care for him, he knew what was up and accepted her and was with her anyway, " cause what you wanted I couldn't get" she just never understood how Santana could want to hide their love.
The rest of the glee kids watched on with wide eyes, and Rachel shot her a thumbs up sign. Santana sat with her head down.
" and you left me, standing on the corner crying, feeling like a fool for trying" and she did all those times she had begged for Santana to just talk to her about what was happening between them, all those times she had to hear Santana tell her it meant nothing, " I don't even remember why I;m wasting all these tears on you"
" I wish I could erase our memory cause you didn't give a damn about me" she sang her voice finally cracking, tears threatened to fall but she held them back refusing to shed anymore tears over this whole thing. She pushed the emotion out and laid it all in her lyrics, " oh finally I'm through wasting all these tears on you"
The music settled, and she used a softer voice for the next verse. This was to Santana. A question of how she could just let her go and she hoped the Latina understood.
" and you left me, standing on the corner crying, feeling like a fool for trying, I don't even remember why Im wasting all these tears on you"
She saw Santana shoulders start to shake for a moment before the girl composed herself and lifted her head. Their eyes locked.
" I wish I could erase our memory cause you didn't give a damn about me oh finally Im through wasting all my tears on you"
When she was finished Kurt and Mercedes jumped to their feet clapping. Rachel Ran over to her and wrapped her in a hug. Mike, Tina and Sam were whistling, Quinn just smiled at her.
" that was amazing Brittany" Mr. Schuster said nudging her shoulder, " looks like we have a new contender for solo spots"
Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes all rolled their eyes. But it was Santana that caught Brittanys attention as she slipped from the choir room.
Artie rolled up to her then, ' you ok babe?"
" I will be" she said smiling.
