Chapter Two- Rulings
Draco turned over in the dark.
Darkness was superfluous; it couldn't help him sleep or close his eyes. It couldn't keep him from waking to a flash of green light. It couldn't guard his back or stop the feelings from roaring in like a tide. But it helped a little bit.
It made his mother believe that he was asleep.
Today he had a slightly different reason to stay awake than the usual parade of thoughts nagging at his consciousness.
Besides juggling the now familiar issues of his… recently deceased… father, why his father was deceased, Harry Potter knowing why his father was deceased, and what to do with his life, he had a trial to attend tomorrow.
As did his mother.
He figured his mother would get off relatively scot-free; after all she didn't let everyone know that The Boy Who Lived had lived for a second time. And she had jumped into the healing with gusto. That made her just about safe in everyone's eyes.
But… he might be in a bit of trouble. He didn't know.
He rolled over again, pressing his face into the pillow and holding his breath. Idly he wondered how long he could hold his breath for, and how long it would take him to let go of this world.
He considered it, and then he flopped onto his side again. Death by pillow wasn't exactly how he wanted to go.
Death by dementor wasn't looking too great, either.
…
He woke up from not sleeping and rolled off the edge of the bed, too lethargic to get any further.
Every step he walked was closer to the Ministry.
That's where Narcissa found him, on the floor.
She sat next to him in her black dress and stroked his hair.
"I know, Draco, I know. It'll all be over soon."
He turned to face her, and she dripped a tear onto his cheek, cradling his head in her lap.
"We'll have closure. It'll all be over soon."
This was what mothers were for, he thought, and it broke his heart because he didn't know what to do as a son.
…
Dressed up in his finest robes, and early- never let it be said that a Malfoy was anything less than perfect in the social graces- he arrived at the Ministry, his mother on his arm.
Except it was more like she was supporting him, tethering him to the earth.
It'll all be over soon.
…
After his mother had gotten through, icy calm and beautifully poised as always, it was his turn.
"Witnesses for the defense?" was called, and he readied himself to accept that there would be nobody there for him. His hand unconsciously went to his Dark Mark, burned to his skin under his robes, and he clenched that wrist as if he could squish the Mark out of existence.
And then, just as with his mother, some of the already cleared Purebloods- Zabini, Parkinson- stepped forward. He looked up at them with haunted eyes, wondering why they stood up for him if he didn't belong any more.
…
And then Potter stood for him.
…
And then Hermione-not Granger, just Hermione- stood.
He almost couldn't look her in the eyes.
…
To his great surprise, Ronald Weasley joined his counterparts of the Golden Trio.
He testified, "Malfoy could be a decent sort of bloke, I guess, if he tried."
…
After that, the support astounded him.
He may have killed his father, but they didn't know, and they didn't want him to go.
For some reason, that more than anything made him ready and wanting to say goodbye.
…
Everyone filed out of the courtroom, after declaring him innocent, though on probation. He met Potter's eyes, green into grey, and nodded at him.
It wasn't a curt sort of nod, or a harsh one, just a nod.
It just was.
Hermione actually came up to him and congratulated him, quietly, as if he didn't have anything to be sorry for and wasn't it great that everyone knew?
She didn't say much, but he decided as he looked into her eyes that it was absolutely everything.
And that scared him, because it was another thing that he didn't know why.
…
He got home, ripped off his dress robes and threw them blindly at his bed. Then, naked before the world- as if he wasn't already- he stalked into his bathroom and eventually into his bath.
The hot water managed to act as some sort of a relaxant; he supposed, so he didn't feel all the tension, all the pressure, all the time.
For example, everyone had always expected him to be a bad person all the time, so that's what he was. He thought. Now that he had this probation, and everyone thought he was good, he felt lost. Very lost.
He spoke this aloud to the ceiling tiles, imagining that someone was actually there to hear him.
Maybe in the future, there would be?
…
Hermione Granger sent him a letter.
It was so typical Gryffindor good-girl of her that he almost laughed.
…
Malfoy,
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for everyone's losses, actually, which is why I'm writing this when we haven't done too much more than insult each other for the past seven years.
But I thought that maybe you needed a friend right now.
It's up to you, of course.
Owl me.
Hermione Granger.
…
He held the parchment in his hand and wondered why she had judged him again, and why nobody had found him wanting yet.
It was strange, like being confronted with an image of himself that he didn't know existed, or a part of himself that he'd hidden under a rug or in the couch cushions.
He didn't know if he could join that group after everything had happened, though, at least not right away. He was still adjusting to his father being gone, and still adjusting to being… what would he call himself now? A murderer? A protector?
So that's what he wrote back to her. Minus the killing his father part.
…
The next day he went down to the kitchen of the Manor, and watched the house-elves.
There was a curious rhythmic quality to the way they worked, as if they all knew exactly where they were going, all the steps, all the little things to make it perfect, rhythmic, seamless.
He didn't know why he was watching, but he was conscious of the fact that it was something he had never done before.
And if he smiled at the house-elves once in a while, it wouldn't hurt, right?
Maybe it was at that moment that he realized-he was the master of the Manor now.
…
There were so many different things he was becoming, and it was hard to keep track of them all.
He stared at a mirror and wondered which facet of Draco he was seeing, or if there was even a Draco at all.
…
A/N:
See, I posted the second chapter today because I'm SO EXCITED!
I hope it's not going too fast.
Hey, three reviews are three reviews, and considering that it's the middle of the school day, I'm pretty pleased. Of course, if more people review, that's good too, but I'm soo happy!
So thanks to my reviewers Gina619, ViralAnomaly, and narutogirl103 for reviewing, and I'm very glad you're happy with it thus far.
Also thanks to those who added this to their watch list!
-Isefyr
