Chapter Three- Limbo
Draco was suspended in time. Nothing he did now would have any meaning, because he wasn't going anywhere with it anyway.
He idly moved his fingers against his covers, thinking about how he wouldn't even know that he had fingers if it weren't for the cloth.
After a while, the Slytherin colours sickened him, and he turned his head away, disgusted.
He didn't want to face the world, but he didn't want to face his bedroom, either.
…
Later, he broke the mirror.
…
It was a good thing that nobody cared about him, or they would be making him get out of bed and get dressed.
…
He wondered where his mother was, what she was doing and whether she was mourning his father. If she was, he didn't want to see her until she was back to normal attire and not black.
Then he would really know that his father was gone...
...And he would really know that it was his fault and only his fault.
…
Sometime during his day, after seconds after seconds after seconds ticked by, someone banged on his door, locked out of habit from the days that he had a snake-nosed villain living in his house.
"MALFOY!" someone bellowed outside his door.
He buried his head in the pillow, trying to block out the sound of the world telling him that it was time to come out. He wasn't ready to come out.
"Fine," someone yelled to the door.
"Alohomora!"
The door swung open, and he lunged out of bed for his wand. That was it. He was going to make his door spell-proof.
...
Someone shrieked, and he remembered that he wasn't wearing any clothing as the cool air from the door washed over him.
…
"Malfoy!" Someone said again, and he registered finally that the person standing in his doorway was Hermione, who was doing her best not to look at him standing naked in his bedroom.
"What are you doing here, Granger? Couldn't resist the urge to see me?"
"Something like that. Put some clothes on, for Merlin's sake!"
"But I'm quite comfortable," he smirked.
"Malfoy, I swear I will hex your balls off if you don't put something on. Right. Now."
…
It would occur to him later that he had acted like nothing had changed since Hogwarts.
Was something wrong with him?
…
It turned out that Narcissa had, in fact, been mourning, but she wasn't so upset that she couldn't call in the cavalry to drag her son out of bed.
Malfoys, of course, do not mope. They are above common, mundane emotions and thus have no need for common, mundane reactions to emotion, such as moping.
This was news to Draco.
…
Hermione was a Gryffindor, caring, brave and brilliant, and so somehow she got stuck with the job of pulling Draco out of bed.
The logic didn't make sense to him, but he supposed that it had worked, because he was now sitting in his sitting room with his mother and Hermione Granger, drinking tea and trying to be polite.
Mostly he just stared into his teacup and wished that it was firewhiskey instead of tea.
…
He snapped when they started talking about Hogwarts and how they were given the option to take their NEWTS in September.
"What are you doing here?" he snapped at Hermione.
Before she could say anything, he continued on. "I tormented you in school. I haven't done very nice things and I'm not a very nice person. What right do you have to forgive me? What right does anyone have?"
He left the room before she could say a word, because he was sure she would have a lot of them, but he just couldn't put up with them right now.
…
Malfoy,
Doesn't the little mudblood have the most right of all?
-Hermione.
…
He threw the note in the fire.
…
Don't call yourself that.
-Draco Abraxas Malfoy
…
I'm not the forgivable person you seem to think I am, he almost wrote.
That got thrown in the fire as well.
Last thing he needed was Hermione visiting his house again.
…
Draco wasn't having much luck with uninvited visitors to his bedroom today.
His mother came in and tried to be understanding, which he just couldn't handle right now. Understanding people would be the death of him. He resorted to being sullen and defensive.
"Is there something you want to talk about?" Narcissa smoothed out his covers and sat gracefully. "I know… we haven't talked much over the years because… well, that's over now."
Draco kept his mouth shut.
"Are you going to be alright?" she asked quietly.
He didn't know and he couldn't say, so he simply pulled her into a hug.
…
After a week, he figured it was safe to leave his room.
He had no intention of leaving the manor, but he had to get away from his room.
There was that sense- a sense of being stifled by his own life, a sense that he couldn't get away from the things that he wanted to get away from and move on. It was something that he didn't seem to be able to do, and it frustrated him.
He lay on his back on the steel-grey couch in one of the libraries and ceased to exist except for his ribs and spine against the cushions. That was the only thing he was conscious of.
There was a knock on the door, and he was conscious of his head now, because it started to hurt.
…
"What does this look like, Gryffindor Tower?" Draco said, but there wasn't really any venom behind it.
You are a pathetic Slytherin, he thought.
"No," said Potter. "It looks like the home of a sorry little ferret."
He didn't have enough willpower left to reply to that.
…
"I'm not sharing my opinions with you. I'm not a Gryffindor. I don't get touchy-feely about private stuff."
…
"Malfoy, you do realize that you're just letting life happen to you?"
…
"I take it back. You're not letting anything happen to you."
…
"I thought you were braver than that."
…
Draco stood, and he realized that he was taller than Potter, even though he seemed smaller somehow.
"I am not brave," he hissed. "I am not a hero. I am not a Gryffindor. I am a bad guy, remember? I did terrible, awful things just because the Dark Lord told me to and I was too much of a pansy to do anything but nod and say 'yes, My Lord.' Don't you dare think you know anything about me. You never knew anything about me."
And he pulled up his sleeve and shoved his Dark Mark in Potter's face.
…
Potter just looked at him.
"I'm going to leave you alone for now, Malfoy. You're not going to get anywhere if you're just feeling sorry for yourself."
"But," he added as he walked out the door, "you can't feel sorry for yourself forever."
…
There's an interesting thought.
…
A/N:
So, one review but no big, I like this story so much that it's going to get updated as often as possible. Malfoy is so fun to write- he is actually a really complex character if you think about it. So much human nature to write about :P
Thanks to ViralAnomaly for reviewing again :)
And I hope you continue to read and enjoy! Tell me what you think if you want. This is my first multichap so I would like an opinion whether I'm going too slow or what, what you want to see happen, etc.
But you don't have to! just enjoy!
-Isefyr
