Author's Note: This chapter, along with the chapter before it, features gendered pronouns. Rest assured this is deliberate.

CHAPTER SIX

After Acornstripe's cold rebuff, Doveheart's journey home was drenched in quiet inner turmoil and continued attempts to flatten xir fur. Xe had only meant to show kindness, and that MeadowClan cat had thrown it right back in xir face. That insufferable simpleton. She seriously believed that StarClan sent her signs through her dreams.

As much as xe cultivated xir distain, though, and tried to use it as a blockade, the gray tabby still winced at the thought of their parting words, a deep chill wracking xir small frame as xe remembered the look in her eyes. Her crass dismissal stung like a hornet, and half of that sting was due to xir own critical self-doubt—that maybe xe had been too insensitive xemself, speaking as a cat who could never understand. That didn't mean Acornstripe was entitled to resent any offer of help, though. Then again, medicine cats had a responsibility to serve all, and if Doveheart went out of xir way to help a cat of another Clan, it would be no more than xe was obligated to do. There was nothing above and beyond expectations about fulfilling the scope of xir role. Perhaps Acornstripe didn't need to recognize xir words as generosity, and perhaps she had good reason to be angry. Perhaps, in xir confusion, xe had been too unsympathetic.

The origins of the brown tabby's plight were something xe could not wrap xir head around. In all xir life, xe had never felt any of the kinds of attraction that led to taking a mate. There was strong evidence everywhere that other cats felt differently, but those were emotions that Doveheart could not relate to. There were many cats that xe cared about, many significant relationships in xir life, many bonds that were important to xem. But xe had never felt what Acornstripe had said she'd felt toward that tom. Xe'd never met a cat that had attracted xem in such a way, and xe had never fallen in love. Xe liked to think it was better for the Clan that way.

Arriving back at camp, Doveheart had to shake xir head in response to Wrenface's eager look, xir mouth too full of herbs for xem to speak. A convenient excuse. Wrenface lowered xir tail and thanked xem anyway, then picked up a thrush from the fresh-kill pile and rejoined Spiderclaw for a meal. There were still a few herbs that the medicine cat had meant to collect yesterday but hadn't, so xe deposited the other Clans' contributions in xir store with the intention of turning back and going out again. But first, xe looked around the clearing for Leechwhisker. Xe was nowhere to be seen.

"Have you seen Leechwhisker?" xe asked Molenose.

"Leechwhisker? Xe's taking a nap. Leechwhisker, Lilyfang, Daisyfur, Yellowstar—they've all been doing a lot today, talking a lot with each other, going around being serious. Daisyfur hasn't even had time to arrange as many patrols. Anyway, Leechwhisker said xe doesn't want to be disturbed."

"Oh. Well, sounds like xe's earned some sleep. I'll leave xem be," Doveheart replied, though inside xe was disappointed. That was just xir selfishness, though. Xe tried to set it aside.

"Look, there's Blacktail. I'll talk to you later, Doveheart, okay?"

Before xe could answer, Molenose was trotting off to be with the other warrior.

Not being in the mood to visit with Brownstripe, the medicine went to the fresh-kill pile to have xemself a vole, casting a few wistful glances at the warrior's den. After the vole was finished and no one had emerged, xe got up, hesitated, and went to the mouth of the leader's den.

"Yellowstar?"

"What is it you want, Doveheart?" came the reply, tired and hoarse.

Doveheart took that as an invitation to come inside. Daisyfur was there as well, standing, appearing calm and weary, if a little agitated. The pale tabby who was their leader was sitting with xir tail strewn out behind, the tip of it twitching at the end.

"Just... Just to ask, if I may, that—"

"Out with it and be done here. Don't you have that gathering to go to tonight?"

"That's been finished now."

"Alright, what is it?"

"Simply to make known to you that the Clan is in need of a medicine cat apprentice, as soon as there are kits old enough."

"You mean you are in need of an apprentice."

"Yes, that is exactly what I mean," Doveheart returned with a scowl. Xe noticed that Daisyfur's tail was lashing.

Then something odd happened. Yellowstar rose to xir paws. The medicine cat braced xemself. Yellowstar started toward xem, joints creaky and old, with the dull gaze of a cat who had seen death, and when xe was near enough, xe gave the medicine cat a lick on the head. "As soon as it is possible, Doveheart."

The gray tabby let out a nervous breath, having flattened xemself down in submissive anxiety.

Yellowstar didn't expend any more niceties before declaring, "But we don't have any kits right now, so get out."

"Yes, Yellowstar." Doveheart trotted out of the den with xir tail high, understanding that this was one of Yellowstar's better moods. If the stories were to be believed, xe wasn't always this way, but Doveheart didn't begrudge xem anything for it.

Now it was time to collect some rosemary and poppy seeds. Heading out onto timeworn paths, xir mind remained on KnollClan's leader, even as xe was digging up some tormentil root, the dirt crumbling around xir paw. Doveheart didn't think about it much before, but Yellowstar had probably seen many medicine cats come and go in xir time. Were there any that Yellowstar preferred over xem? What had they all been like? Had all of them maintained their vows, and kept their celibacy?

As far as xe knew, it was an odd thing, medicine cats having kits. It wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't the worst thing to happen to a Clan, either, but Doveheart was of the opinion that vows taken should be vows kept. A cat's word was only as good as xir record of adhering to it. Xe didn't understand any cat who couldn't choose between taking a mate and working with plants. For xem, the answer was obvious.

With their blossoms and fronds and rattling seeds, plants were mysterious. They never ate, only drank, and seemed to thrive in spite of this, taking sustenance from nothing but the now-hidden sun. It was amazing how something so simple could be so complex. They never walked because they grew their whiskers in the ground; they never made a sound but for rustling in the breeze. They created themselves in odd shapes and colors and produced curious smells, and they did not seem to mind a sacrifice to help the lives of others.

Xe liked to think that if plants could talk, they'd be the rather friendly sort. Or maybe they could already talk, just like cats, and preferred not to. Xe could understand that as well. Xe didn't always like to talk either. Sometimes it was better not to.

Passing a bramble bush, Doveheart bent xir head and snipped off a few hardy stalks of purple-flowering rosemary, its thin, evergreen leaves tickling xir whiskers. The plant had a mesmerizing, relaxing scent that soothed a cat's nerves, which was why it was a comfort to have it around in times of grief. Smelling it now, xe was hit with memories of KnollClan's most recent burial.

Trying to set those thoughts aside, xe passed by the fallen log and forced xemself to continue on. The forest was still lit with the light of the half-moon, filtered through broad leaves, with moss and tree trunks discernible by shape and smell. The wind was blowing toward BrookClan territory, away from KnollClan camp. Xe would find the poppies farther along near the rocky slopes.

"Hello, Doveheart."

Xir heart stopped as the medicine cat flipped around and found xemself face to face with none other than the rogue. It was still a few tail-lengths away, but that was far closer than it should have been, far further into their territory and the medicine cat's realm of safety than should be allowed. Xir fur stood on end and xir whiskers flattened against xir face as xe arched xir back and stared.

The codeless cat before xem was a large, strong ginger tabby, with a chipped fang, a narrow face, and a scent that was distinctly male. He was staring her in the face and saying, "Don't be afraid. " His voice was deep, rich, and warm, sounding as soft and as close as her own fur, oddly friendly for an immoral vagrant. It was as unsettling as it was impertinent. "You're the healer, aren't you? I need your help."

It was only then that she noticed the bloody gash on his shoulder. She glanced at it quickly and then reaffixed her gaze to his, completely tense. Without breaking eye contact, she slowly lowered the mouthful of herbs onto the mossy ground, still watching him.

He took that as a cue to take a step forward, and she jumped back, flattening her ears. "DON'T— Don't come closer."

The rogue withdrew his paw, twitching his whiskers and eying her over as he asked, "You're not afraid, are you?" His tone was light, mocking, but it sizzled with an insidious lilt that did not question her fear so much as reaffirmed it. He let his backside fall and lowered his shoulders until he was lying on his side. There he took his eyes off the Clan cat, self-assured of his safety, and proceeded to lick one of his paws. "I just want you to help me, " he explained. "I'm hurt."

She took a step to the side and raised her head, scrutinizing him. The wound looked recent, though not fresh. It had already congealed over and made a mess of his fur.

"It still hurts," he added with a wince and a grunt as he repositioned himself.

He probably deserved it.

The rogue frowned and looked up at her. "Come on now. Don't you have an obligation to give help to those in need?"

It was true. In her ceremony she had sworn to protect all cats equally, and the medicine cat vows included a promise to give aid and comfort to any cat who asks, wording that was generally interpreted to mean their responsibility extended to the young and injured of another Clan, but given the phrasing, it technically could extend to anyone. Even though she didn't answer, he saw that she was relenting.

As the rogue closed his eyes and lay down his head, she snipped off a piece of the tormentil root, chewed it, and approached him gingerly. When he showed no signs of stirring, she spat the pulp up onto her paw and made haste to rub it onto his wound, making him flinch. She didn't apologize.

"I know what you're thinking. I shouldn't be here."

"You shouldn't be here."

He chuckled. "Don't you think there's more to life than rules and borders, Doveheart?"

She disregarded the question, demanding, "How do you know my name?"

"You want to know what my name is?" He shifted his weight onto his paws and started to stand, prompting her to scuffle back away from him, maintaining her distance, and he fixed her with a burning stare. "I am Rusty the Incorrigible. I am the Red Terror. I am the Unquenchable Flame. I answer to no one." There were distinct scent-borders he must have crossed to get here, markers that flagged this place as KnollClan territory, and despite them, as he was speaking, he backed up to the trunk of an old elm and sprayed.

"Get out of KnollClan territory. You're not welcome here."

He twitched his whiskers. "I know."

Just then, one of his ears flicked back, catching a distant sound. He continued to gaze at her while licking his whiskers, lingering with what time he had left, then turned and bounded off over the brambles with a final flick of his fiery-orange tail.

Doveheart let out a sigh of tempered relief. He wasn't really gone yet, xe was sure, and that spelled more trouble for the Clan, but at the very least the brute had left xem alone, for now. The splatter of urine was still dripping down the dampened bark, reeking of his overpowering stench, suggesting that this encounter would be far from the last. A cat wouldn't leave a marker without expecting to come back. It was brazen behavior to take place on claimed territory, done as though the Clans posed no threat at all. Fearing when the rogue might return, xe gathered xir herbs up once more and resumed xir journey back to camp at a quickened pace, feeling as small and nervous as a hunted bird.