Author's Note: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 41
Bella's Point of View
Sharon's points about my family in New York made me homesick. I began thinking about my past childhood and teenaged years everywhere, despite my best intentions on not to. After all, if my mind was somewhere else during a surgery, I could kill a patient.
Although the end of my teenaged years hadn't been very pleasant, it, too, were memories, and I couldn't help but look back at it.
It was fascinating to realize many things that I hadn't taken into account before. For example, that lunar eclipse on the night Edward had proposed to me. The moon had been orange. That was abnormal. Then, there was that warning Jessica Stanley had given me. They come with the wind, and they leave when the sun rises…
As much as I hated to admit it, she'd been right. But I guess he had tried to come back; I just hadn't let him.
Reluctant as I was to return home, as I would meet Edward inevitably, I missed New York. I missed my parents, and I missed my brother. I wanted to see my friends from school, and most of all, I missed the Cullens. With the exception of one.
My homesickness grew every day, and perhaps it was evident on my face. My usual cheerfulness and enthusiasm disappeared little by little, and several of my colleagues expressed concern. I merely told them that it was just the cold weather that had me down. After all, winter was approaching. But to my chagrin, even my usually quite absentminded professor noticed.
"You okay, Bella?" she asked. "You're a bit distracted these days."
"Huh?" I asked, startled as I looked up from my clipboard. "Oh, um…" I looked back at my paper glumly. "I'm fine."
"Sharon seemed to think you were homesick," she commented casually, twirling her pen. "Is that it?"
I smiled briefly.
She looked thoughtful. "Maybe it would be a good idea for you to go see your family for Christmas. Would you like that?"
I glanced up, blinking.
"Sharon told me that I should give you some time off," she explained. "After all, you haven't gone on vacation once during the last four years. And you never call New York…" She smiled. "Would you like that, Bella?"
My first instinct was to protest. I was panicking. I so did not want to go to New York for Christmas and spend my vacation at the family mansion, listening to my mother's nagging. And there was also that stuff about Edward as well. The in-laws were bound to meet during Christmas.
"Um, no, professor," I said quickly. "I really don't need to. How can I, when there are tons of patients waiting to be treated?"
"Nonsense," she said briskly. Great. My protests had made up her mind. There was no turning back now. "We can handle it. Go spend some time with your family. I'm sure they're all so curious about you; you haven't talked to them in years! I'll give you some time off, and you can go and have fun."
"I really don't mind working over the holidays, professor," I said helplessly. One last ounce of effort on trying to change her mind. No such luck.
"Well, if you want, maybe you can work a bit at a hospital there or something," she mused. Then, she perked up. "I have a friend over at Columbia University; how about working at the university's hospital for a while? I'll transfer you there if you want… You can take a break from UCLA for a bit."
I bit my lip. My professor was brilliant, but she can be so blunt sometimes.
"Professor, I really don't want to go."
"Of course you do," she said brightly. "That's settled then. You can stay there as long as you like! When you're ready to leave Columbia and come back to UCLA, just give me a call. Okay? I'll go talk to my friend right now! She'll take very good care of you, I promise!"
And with that, she flounced off happily, convinced that she made me excited and happy.
How wrong she was.
The nurses behind the counter who had been listening to our conversation looked at me sympathetically. They understood, as they have been making excuses for me to my family for years whenever they called.
Sighing, I placed the clipboard on the counter. Grabbing a pen from my lab coat's pocket, I signed my name so violently that I made a small hole on the paper.
"Sorry," I mumbled, handing it to one of the nurses.
She smiled understandingly. "It's fine."
Luckily, none of them said anything about returning to New York.
"Bella!" Sharon was rushing towards me excitedly.
I glared at her. "Why did you tell her that?"
She grinned, catching on quickly. "She gave you the holidays off then? Great! You'll go see your family now!"
"She's practically forcing me to go home," I grumbled. "Thanks a lot, nosy. I thought I told you to butt out when it comes to my affairs?"
"I promised not to do any more matchmaking," she corrected. "So when are you leaving?"
"I don't know," I said miserably. "I'll be staying in New York for a bit; she's transferring me to Columbia University."
Sharon's jaw dropped. "What? You're transferring?" She looked upset.
"I'll be back soon," I reassured her. "There's no way I'm staying in that…" I took a deep breath. "I'm coming home as soon as I can get away from my parents. I promise."
She looked happy again. "Good. I'll see you later, okay, Bella? My brother wants to eat lunch together." She waved goodbye as she skipped away.
Sometimes, Sharon reminded me so much of Alice. It was probably why she was such a good friend of mine.
I was making my rounds, and I stopped to talk to one mother who had had C-section to give birth to her baby.
"How are you feeling today, Mrs. Johnson?" I asked kindly, making notes of her progress on my paper. "Do you feel any pain at all?"
"Nope," Mrs. Johnson said cheerfully. "I'm perfect. Can't I go home?"
I chuckled. "I believe you're surgery was two days ago. Not yet."
She grinned down at her baby, stroking his cheek softly. "I've decided to name her Isabella," she said proudly. "After the doctor who saved my daughter's life."
I blinked. Wow. No one had ever named their daughter after me before.
She looked up, smiling. "What do you think? Fits, doesn't it?"
Finally, I smiled warmly. "I think it's just right for her. Thank you, Mrs. Johnson. It means so much to me."
She laughed. "It's nothing. I really am very thankful to you. It's the least I can do. But why do you seem so down today?" she asked, suddenly concerned. "You're always so cheerful."
I smiled briefly but did not reply. I looked down at my clipboard to add a note.
"Did something happen?" she pressed.
I sighed. "My professor is sending me home for Christmas." I gave her a wry smile.
"And you probably don't want to," Mrs. Johnson realized, catching on quickly. She was a sharp woman.
I chuckled, embarrassed. "Not really. I mean, there's a part of me that wants to go home and see everyone, but…" I shrugged lightly. "There's also bad history lingering there."
"I remember," she said, nodding. "It was all over the news. But didn't you ever move on?"
"Of course I did," I said. "It's just…I don't want to revisit my past and see him, you know?"
"Well, don't see him, then."
"That's easier said than done," I sighed. "His family and mine have been friends forever. And besides, my brother is married to his sister. It'll be inevitable about seeing him if I go back."
Her expression softened. She drew her baby closer to her before asking tentatively, "What did it feel like, losing the baby?"
I smiled bitterly. "Hell."
She nodded in agreement. "I bet. I can't imagine losing little Isabella." She looked down, smiling adoringly at her daughter.
I watched mother and daughter for a while wistfully. If Edward hadn't made those mistakes and caused the miscarriage, would I have been able to hold my baby like Mrs. Johnson did?
Even after eight years had passed, I still missed her. I still had that hollow feeling inside of my stomach sometimes.
Finally, I gave myself a mental shake before resuming back to my papers. When my professor burst into the room.
"I've got it all set!" she chirped brightly. "My friend said she'll be delighted to take you under her wing for as long as you want! Let's see now… Next week is Christmas…and today is Saturday… You can leave tomorrow if you want! Better make reservations now. It's the holidays!"
"Professor," I scowled.
"You're going to New York to see your family?" Mrs. Johnson asked. "Wow! That's great!"
"I'm not going, professor," I said.
"Of course you are," she said absently. "You'll have lots of fun! Take lots of pictures, and be sure to show them to me when you get back. Go pack now!"
Leaving me with my mouth open, she flounced back out again. Mrs. Johnson smiled. "This is a great opportunity for you. You should go, Dr. Swan. Forget about what happened in the past. Close your eyes and just follow your heart, not your smart brain." She winked.
I stared at her for a while. Finally, I smiled. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I do need a vacation from this place. Thanks, Mrs. Johnson."
She nodded. "You should go now. You'll be busy, packing and making reservations for a flight…"
Suddenly eager to get out of this place, I quickly said goodbye to her and wished her luck with her daughter. I ran out of the room, throwing my lab coat to one of the nurses as I passed her, and took out my phone as I dashed to my car.
"Hello?" I asked as I started the engine. "Reservations, please. First-class, nonstop to New York. Tomorrow, if possible. I don't care how much it's going to cost, just get me a seat."
AN: She's going home, guys! What do you think everyone's responses will be? It must be good to not care about how much money it's going to cost, eh? Reviews, please!
