CHAPTER TEN

"Newtstar," Daisyfur greeted, dipping xir head in respect, and the two cats with xem did the same.

Doveheart could feel xemself shaking.

There was something about the leader's face that seemed off somehow, with that vitriolic, zealous brightness in xir eyes that exceeded the norm, too vivacious and robust, and it took Doveheart a moment to realize why.

"What are you three here for? " the tortoiseshell demanded, tail lashing. "You can't take over BrookClan with three cats."

Daisyfur arched xir back defensively. "KnollClan would like to offer its apologies for—"

"How's the cat that Whiteclaw marked up?" Newstar interrupted.

"Recovering," Doveheart answered, even though the black-and-ginger cat hadn't been speaking to xem.

Xe turned xir gaze on the tabby and asked, "You're the medicine cat?"

For once, Doveheart wasn't self-conscious about it being obvious, though xe wasn't sure what to do now that the attention was on xem, xir whole body tense from the feeling of many pairs of BrookClan eyes. "...Yes, I am," xe admitted. "Yellowstar sent me with our deputy to assure you that KnollClan desires to maintain our state of peace, that this was not an act of war, and that the apprentice who attacked will be reprimanded."

"Not an act of war," Newtstar echoed, "but an act of negligence. How much is KnollClan struggling that it cannot command control over its own apprentices?"

Doveheart cringed.

"Perhaps the same thing that BrookClan is suffering," Daisyfur interjected, "that it cannot control its warriors. If Whiteclaw, a more thoroughly-trained, mature warrior, was fighting Wrenface, not Adderpaw, then why did xe so badly maim a cat who had not initiated the attack, when the patrol was retreating?"

Newtstar paused, eying them all, and then replied, succinctly, "Whiteclaw is a dedicated warrior who brings in much prey and whose contributions are valuable to the Clan."

It was an answer that Daisyfur seemed to understand the real meaning of, even if it wasn't a true apology, and Doveheart was relieved that Daisyfur was there. Xe didn't like the cat personally, but she'd gladly step back and let xem take over the absurd and mysterious dance of those in power. As for xem, xe just wanted to fade back into xir plants.


The peace-making party returned to camp at dusk, each of them tired not out of physical exhaustion but from the drain and strain of facing off with the uneasiness and suspicion of another Clan. The orange sun behind them made each of them into dark silhouettes as they padded into the clearing, burned-out but successful. Daisyfur broke off right away to report to Yellowstar, and Doveheart was scanning the camp for any sign of Adderpaw when Molenose bounded into view, acting much too energetic for a grown warrior of xir age.

"Hello Doveheart! Hello Blacktail!" xe exclaimed, rushing up to them. "What did BrookClan have to say?"

"Nothing worth repeating," Blacktail muttered, in xir usual way.

"It was mostly a lot of putting-on-airs and dramatic gesturing, figuratively speaking," Doveheart explained. "We should be okay."

"That's great! Well, uh, Doveheart, I think Adderpaw's hiding over there, if you want to go over and get started with xem," Molenose suggested, nodding in the right direction.

Doveheart was not eager to meet with the apprentice, but xe took the hint and left Molenose and Blacktail to themselves. It was something xe'd have to do anyway, xe reminded xemself, so xe shouldn't resent feeling pushed aside for blossoming love, of a kind that xe would never experience. Xe shouldn't blame the warrior for what xe could not and would not have, and for being a little absent-minded or unthoughtful at times. The cat was infatuated.

The medicine cat found Adderpaw where Molenose had told xem xe would, by the cowslip flowers. Xe was anticipating some trouble from this one.

The ginger apprentice had crouched down in an attempt to hide on the opposite side of camp from Doveheart's den, and xe flattened xemself down even more as the gray cat approached. Xe was still shell-shocked from the fight on the border, xir blood pumping like the falls of a river and xir young body quivering, xir heart disturbed by what xe had seen. When Doveheart took another step forward, their eyes having met, Adderpaw glared back at xem with a defiant stare, bared xir teeth, and hissed.

It was all too apparent, then, that Adderpaw meant to put xem off and provoke xem, to elicit a reaction, to incite the same anger that the apprentice had been dwelling in and prompt a rebuke of equal anger. If things were as Adderpaw thought they were, Doveheart would be furious and put xem in xir place, probably with a good swat at the smaller cat's ears. It was the natural way of things: aggression led to aggression, and the powerful maintained their dominance by growing vicious with those dared challenge them. This would prove it. But what xe had forgotten to factor in to her embittered scheme was that Doveheart was too tired to be furious.

The gray tabby flinched at first, the antagonism coming unexpected, but xir response was not in kind. Xe only looked at the apprentice with weary eyes and lowered xemself to the ground, folding xir paws underneath xir chest, like the apprentice's parent had done so many times before to calm the Clan in times of uproar. Xe wasn't even going to dignify the impertinence with a proper reprimand. Xe couldn't be mad at an apprentice who was likely wallowing in guilt and had no interest in learning a medicine cat's ways. Xe was tired.

"What are you mad about, Adderpaw?" xe asked.

Adderpaw looked appalled, taking Doveheart's disinterest in engaging with her as even more of a blow than anything else could have been, xir mouth hanging open but giving no answer. Xe made xemself even smaller and gave a pathetic mewl.

The medicine cat was prepared to wait there half the night if xe had to. However, xe would eventually need to check up on Wrenface again as xe had been trained to do, as xe was reminded when xir old littermate approached xir side. Spiderclaw's tail was low. "You're back," xe stated.

"Yes," xe replied. This was how conversations with Spiderclaw often went, for xem. Much went unspoken, and much didn't need to be said. Doveheart took the simple exchange as a sign that Spiderclaw was worried; otherwise xe would have never left Wrenface's side to seek xem out.

Adderpaw jumped to xir paws and growled. "We would have won if we'd had Lilyfang there instead of Wrenface! I don't want to have to take care of anybody! I want to be a warrior, not a medicine cat!"

"Doveheart, do you want me to get Lilyfang?"

"No, that shouldn't be necessary."

"Then I'll say it myself." The black cat turned xir yellow eyes on Adderpaw. "I am a warrior, and it's my duty to take care of my fellow warriors, just as it will one day be yours, if you ever straighten yourself out. If you don't respect your medicine cat, you'll never be one of us." With that, xe walked away, leaving it to Doveheart to deal with the impudent brat whose pugnacity had nearly started a war.

The medicine cat sighed and rose to xir paws, turning to head back to xir den. "Have you visited with Wrenface since the fight?" Xe would not dignify it by calling it a battle.

Adderpaw followed, a few tail-lengths behind, and mumbled, "No."


There was a part of Doveheart that already understood that the apprentice was sorry, but that part was not in conflict with the part that believed this was necessary. Redfang and Ravenfur still believed in a different understanding of what it meant to be a Clan, a faulty one, and xe did not have faith that either of xir littermate's short lectures would be enough to counteract a lifetime of the elders' stories. What Adderpaw needed, xe thought, was a different kind of story. But that didn't mean that xe was prepared for this.

As the two of them approached the den, Wrenface lifted xir brown head from xir paws and tilted it up as xe sniffed the air. "Adderpaw." Xir voice was soft, as always, and carried a hint of surprise, yet it was surprising itself how gentle it sounded, free of malice, unweighted, light in the air. Xir eyes had yet to unlearn their habit of trying to see; it was difficult to watch.

Adderpaw looked down at once and flattened xir ears. When xe spoke, it was not as an apology. "Why didn't you fight harder, Wrenface?" It sounded like a plea, but at the same time xe was blaming xem, still scornful that the warrior had gotten xemself injured and gotten the apprentice in trouble.

"It was not my fight to fight, little one," the dusky tabby replied. Xe sounded mournful, though not for xemself.

The apprentice glared and lashed xir tail. "You did it on purpose!"

Doveheart stepped in, giving xem a harsh look. "Adderpaw, does it look like xe would do this on purpose?"

Adderpaw looked at the warrior again and could not answer.

Losing patience for Wrenface's sake, the medicine cat continued into xir den and picked up some poppy seeds. Xe set xem before the warrior and nudged them forward with xir nose, saying, "If the pain comes back, you can swallow some of these seeds here, just to your left. I can take Adderpaw away and let you rest, if you want."

To xir surprise, the warrior purred a little in response, though as a medicine cat xe knew that cats had often purred before in discomfort or pain. "I heard Yellowstar's announcement," Wrenface said. "It's fine. Xe can stay." Though xe may not have been deliberately lying, there was a kind of fatalism in xir voice that suggested it wasn't fine. Then again, there was little room for maneuvering on this matter. Adderpaw had to be made to face what had happened, and that included facing up to the cat who'd been injured in the unnecessary skirmish.

"What's going to happen to Wrenface?" Adderpaw asked in a timid voice.

Doveheart looked at the warrior in question as xe spoke. "Xe may have to join the elders."

Wrenface lowered xir head onto xir paws.

Adderpaw, on the other paw, took it as though it were the worst news in the world, shouting out, "That's horrible!"

"What's so horrible about it?" the medicine cat shot back, keeping steady hold of xir temper.

"Xe won't be able to hunt or patrol or anything!"

"I'll still be with the ones I care about," Wrenface put in. Doveheart didn't have to ask to know whom xe was thinking of.

Adderpaw arched xir back. "Well, I don't want to have to take care of some lazy old elder who doesn't even care about being retired!"

"But Adderpaw, that's what we do in a Clan," Doveheart murmured. "We take care of each other. You brought prey to Redfang, didn't you? Lilyfang trained you, didn't xe? Your mother nursed you, didn't she? We take care of those who are dependent on us, even if we receive nothing in return, because we are Clanmates and we all depend on each other's loyalty. We are not loners who happen to share the same dens, tolerating one another, looking after only ourselves. We are a family who works together and we serve one another. That is what makes us a Clan."

The apprentice followed the argument, looking down and scuffling xir paws, but xe looked skeptical still. "Yeah, you have to say that. Otherwise you wouldn't have anything to eat."

Wrenface's ears pricked forward. "Would you rather not feed xem, and not have a medicine cat?"

Adderpaw struggled to answer that. Seeing that xe was still reluctant to be convinced, Doveheart turned around and went deeper into xir den to fetch a solitary leaf. Xe brought it back to the apprentice and dropped it between their paws. "Do you see this, Adderpaw? This is a dandelion leaf," xe explained. "Go into the woods and find some more."

Willing to take a distraction, the ginger tabby crouched down and gave it a good sniff to learn its scent, and then started off on xir own. The little mission's purpose wasn't just to provide more treatments for Wrenface, but also to give the apprentice some time to think to xemself. It would take more than this, certainly, to ebb away a young lifetime's worth of learning the wrong ways, but there was still hope to get a pawhold on the steep cliffside of persuasion.

While xe was away, Doveheart looked to Wrenface for conversation, offering a comment of, "Xe should have learned long ago."

The warrior was silent.

As time passed, the two of them waiting there together, the medicine cat sat down with uneasiness prickling in xir paws and began to wonder if xe'd said something wrong. Wrenface may have taken the remark as a criticism of xir mentor; xe and Lilyfang were close. Or maybe, more generally, xe might not like to hear a medicine cat criticize someone on the other side of the border of roles. Almost everyone in the Clan had some part in Adderpaw's upraising, and xe was in training to become a warrior, being raised mostly by warriors, and it may have seemed to Wrenface that it was not a medicine cat's place, as an outsider, to give any appraisal. Xe could not know for sure, for the warrior never said anything. It was moments like these when Doveheart felt the most alone, one paw in the Clan and the other outside it, even though xe xemself had used the same idea to defend xir actions not long ago. Trapped waiting for the apprentice and unable to abandon xir patient, xe had to stay with quiet company of uncertain esteem, doubting xemself as much as xe questioned how much xe had only imagined the tension. They passed their time in silence and shared no other words until Adderpaw's return.

The ginger tabby came trotting up with a mouthful of leaves and more energy than xe'd shown when xe'd left, though with xir tail down and xir ears pointed away. Xe gave the herbs to Doveheart and then devoted xir attention to Wrenface as the warrior began to stand, asking for a little help on the way to the elders' stump. Though still downcast, Doveheart was pleased to see the way Adderpaw fulfilled the request and stuck by xir side as xe warned xem of roots xe might stumble on and guided xem along the way. The medicine cat did not follow, however. Xe considered this a transference, the warrior leaving xir den and leaving xir responsibility. Xe had given xem everything xe had to ease the process, but would not interfere more unless xe complained of more pain, for xir wounds themselves would have to heal on their own.

At that point, the medicine cat could have used some friendly company or a conversation with someone who wouldn't try xir patience, but xe was feeling too drowsy and emotionally fatigued to head out and seek anyone. It was high time for a nap. After padding back further into the shade of xir den, xe curled up into a furry ball and went to sleep, leading xir spirit into the beginnings of a most peculiar dream.