We shopped throughout the afternoon, nothing really needed or purchased just a meandering through the streets. We were always connected though, always touching in some way. If it wasn't hand in hand then some other way. The first time I went to reach for something I hesitated not wanting to lose the connection. I really wanted to look at a book more. His fingers slipped from mine and his finger threaded through my belt loops and his thumb played at the hem of my shirt. It took a few minutes for me to actually concentrate on what was in my hands. But as I did he grabbed something else to look at until I had my fill and placed the book back on the shelf. His fingers were back in mine as I moved from the section.

"Not what you were looking for?" his breath in my neck had me stutter a sigh.

"No, not really. He is to narrow minded for me. I like freedom of expression not conformity." He nodded and we headed out the store empty handed but not.

By the time the city lost its natural glow and the cafe' lights started coming on we found a little place to sit outside and eat. Then what seems to be his favorite game popped up again. I just laughed and went with it. Only because it was a joy and a novelty for him and he kept it to safe zones.

"Cindy, or was it Candy? Ninth birthday, you know the girl with the over bite?" I know of course I do and the memory is a funny one.

"Sandy Alford, she sneezed all over her cake and Jimmy" I knew he wouldn't remember the kids name. "Hunter, ate the cake anyway. Then he wound up throwing up all over the party favor table."

He laughed and did the icky shake all at the same time. That made me laugh. He picked all the right mutual and neutral times to ask about. And I wonder how this man turned out like he did and I turned out...

"The stumper question sixth grade, Mrs. Murphy's history final." and so it went off and on all through dinner.

It was easy to pretend, it was nice to leave together without conflict or tension. It was a good time pretending and storing away this memory, every part of the past few hours as my first real date. I may have looked like a player and a rocker thug. But that is the farthest from the truth.

I wasn't even sure where in the city we were at this point in our 'date'. I never just walked around, I was picked up or hopped a cab and told them where I wanted to go. I honestly wouldn't even know where my favorite place to eat was if it hadn't been for a random dial and a craving for egg rolls. I had never been to the actual place until Ang had asked where I wanted to eat. So I let him lead the way until I saw the familiar. Then I took stride beside him.

"You haven't been out of the neighborhood on foot have you?" He was always reading me. I shake my head. "Why not?" I shrug. "You have to give me more then that Ed."

I know the whys. I know every one of them. He stops and pulls my face to look to his. His thumb and forefinger strong on my chin and he waits. Finally I gain focus enough to look at him. When I do his eyes are sad but still the right color.

"I know why to but soon you are going to have to say it out loud." his lips are so light on mine and so tender I think if it weren't for his strong hand on my chin I think it would be shaking all the hell over the place.

I feel his hand pull me after his lips leave mine and realize, I have turned into a sappy shit. Because as he pulls me into a doorway I realize my 'date' ended, with him walking me home and giving me a kiss at the front door.

"God damn it." I mutter as soft as I can. But his hand on my hip squeezing, I know he heard it.