Author's Note: Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.


Chapter 46

Everyone was looking at me expectantly.

I had no idea what to tell them. What was I supposed to say? Oh, you know, I've been trying to forget about what happened with Edward eight years ago. That's why I've been avoiding your calls.

I couldn't say that. Not while Edward was here, sitting right across the table from me. Awkward.

"Um… Not much, really," I mumbled reluctantly. "You know, hospital work."

"Looks like you don't know where to start," Alice said, looking straight at me. She seemed determined to find out how I've lived through my past. "Well, we'll help you. First thing I want to know, have you done any dating?"

Was it my imagination, or did Edward stiffen slightly upon hearing his sister's question?

"Alice, dear," Esme said gently. "I'm sure you can ask that question later."

"I want to hear it now," Alice said firmly. "Well?"

"No," I admitted, playing around with my mashed potatoes. "Not really. I never really had the time to just go out and let loose. I should have probably gone out more to play around, but I guess I never was in the mood to do that."

"So you don't have a boyfriend right now?" Emmett asked. He was still eating quickly, but he seemed more interested in the conversation now.

"No."

"Nothing?" Alice asked. "None at all?"

I shrugged. "I've met a couple men in those matchmaking meetings that one of my colleagues set up for me."

"And?"

"Not my type," I said dismissively. "I'm not interested in that stuff."

My firm tone seemed to convince Alice. She let it go. Carlisle took the opportunity to quickly change the subject.

"So, Bella," he said lightly. "Gynecology, eh? What made you decide to become a gynecologist?"

Carlisle may have thought that his question was far from our rugged past, but he was dead wrong.

"Um…" I said, hesitating again. "I don't know, really. I guess hanging around a gynecologist for years sort of…rubbed off on me." I smiled briefly at him.

"I see," Carlisle said, not entirely convinced.

"When are you returning to UCLA, honey?" Esme asked. "Not soon, I hope."

I smiled. "Well, I actually transferred to Columbia for a while. My professor has a friend here that agreed to take me under her wing for as long as I want."

"That's great!" Alice gushed. "So you'll be here for a long time, I'm assuming?"

The way her eyes flashed like she was planning something scared me. But she looked a bit too overexcited, which made her slightly dangerous, so I merely said, "Sure."

"I'm glad," Rosalie said, smiling at me. "I hope we get to know each other a bit more."

"Of course," I said, nodding. "I heard that you're a professor at Columbia?"

She nodded. "I teach World History. Jasper told me that you like history too? Maybe you could come and visit me sometime. You can listen to my boring lectures." She laughed.

I grinned. "I'd like to. Don't be surprised if I drop in unannounced."

"Back to the point?" Alice interrupted. "Meet any hot doctors at UCLA?"

"Alice," Esme said disapprovingly. "You're being rude."

"All of our doctors are pretty hot," I said, laughing. "Our patients think they're models volunteering at the hospital for events."

"Oh?" Alice inquired. "Why didn't you date any of them?"

I shrugged casually. "None of them particularly appealed to me."

"But-" she began again.

"So who is your professor's friend?" Carlisle interrupted, shooting Alice a look. "Someone I know?"

"Oh, yeah," I said. "Gwen Jackson." I laughed. "A bit ironic, isn't it?"

"Gwen?" Carlisle asked, surprised. "She's a friend of your professor?"

"I was surprised too," I admitted. "But I already know her, so I suppose it won't be as awkward."

"Who's Gwen?" Renee asked.

The question was obviously directed at Carlisle, but he was staring at me, wondering whether if he can safely answer her question.

I decided to answer instead. "She was my gynecologist."

Emmett stopped eating and glanced up. Alice looked at me quickly, and Esme blinked. Edward seemed to stiffen again.

"That's why I said it was ironic," I said nonchalantly, pretending not to notice these reactions. "It's a bit coincidental."

"I see," Renee stuttered. "Well, what a small world!"

There was an awkward pause. Desperate to break it, I changed the subject. "I'd like to hear about how you guys have been doing too. Emmett?"

"Eh?" He looked up, his mouth full of food.

I made a face. "I'll come back to you later. Jasper?"

"Nothing much," he said shrugging. "You know. Surgeries and making rounds. Typical."

I fought back a smile. "Typical," I agreed.

"Oh, yeah!" Alice said suddenly. "You bought tons of new outfits from Fashionista! What made you do it?"

I blinked at her innocently. "I needed new clothes."

She grinned. "Thanks. But it would have been nice of you to leave behind a phone number that would have connected me straight to you." Her eyes narrowed.

I shrugged. "Guilty."

"Why don't you tell us a good story about what happened in the last, what, eight years that you've been gone?" Renee said.

"A good story?" I mused. "It's typical gynecology stuff, Mom."

"Yes, but Carlisle always seemed to have interesting stories with him," Renee countered. "How about it, honey?"

"Um…" I looked up from my plate, and a sudden flash in front of me made me freeze.

I stared at Edward's left hand, which he was using to hold his meat in place and cut it. He seemed oblivious to my sudden interest.

It was as though I'd been cut off momentarily from the world. I felt sluggish as I tried to process the information that I'd just seen with my own two eyes.

Why was he still wearing his wedding ring?

"Bella!" Renee said loudly. "Are you still with us, dear?"

I jumped slightly, startled. I looked at her blankly. "What?" I asked breathlessly.

"Stories, honey," she said slowly, as if I was hard of hearing.

I stared at her for a few more seconds before I remembered her question. "Oh, yeah. Um. I…I can't really remember much right now."

It was true. I couldn't think straight. I was totally distracted.

"Oh, come on," Emmett said, having noticed nothing strange. "You have to have something."

Alice and Jasper were staring at me with unfathomable expressions on their faces. They'd definitely noticed my distraction.

I looked down at my plate again, my breathing getting faster. I decided that telling a story would keep my mind off of what I'd just witnessed.

"There was a young woman who came in about a few years back," I said slowly. "She wanted to know if it was possible to get an abortion right away."

"An abortion?" Esme asked, appalled. "Why would she want that?"

I smiled wryly. "Well, she was only about sixteen. You can't really blame her for wanting to get rid of the baby. Besides, she didn't know who the father was."

"Kids these days," Charlie mumbled, shaking his head.

"Go on," Carlisle prompted, interested.

"We told her that we needed her parents' permission since she was under eighteen," I said. "She seemed a bit scared, and I knew that they didn't know about her pregnancy. I told her to come the next day, and that we'd give her an abortion."

"What?" Rosalie gasped. "You let her?"

"It was actually against hospital regulations," I admitted. "I could've gotten fired for doing it without my professor's consent. But I thought I could relate to her. Pregnant at sixteen, pregnant at seventeen, what's the difference, really?" I glanced at Edward briefly, whose face was hardened.

"But you wanted that baby, Bella!" Alice burst out. She glanced at Edward warily.

I smiled, cutting up small pieces of meat. "Of course I did. But there were times when I didn't. I was afraid of what people might think of me, even if I was married at the time."

I couldn't help but sneak another peek at his left hand. It was definitely the same ring. Why would he keep it on for eight years?

"Did her parents find out?" Carlisle asked.

I looked up at him, startled again. "No. She made us all keep it a secret, and she left after thanking us. I never saw her again."

"How come she didn't know who the father was?" Rosalie asked. "How could you not know?"

"It happens," I said. "She didn't look like the type to sleep around, so I can only guess that it was accidental. Who knows? Maybe she got drunk and a boy took her to a hotel? Anything can happen."

"How interesting experiences you've had, Bella," Esme said, intrigued. "Tell us another one."

"Tell you what," Carlisle said, smiling kindly at me. "Why don't we hear about your first death patient? Every doctor has one of those."

My face hardened, remembering so clearly. I hesitated, a lump forming in my throat like it always did when I thought about that woman.

"Rough?" Jasper, who was sitting next to me, said softly.

I exhaled sharply, laughing softly. "A bit. I found out how hard it is to be a doctor as soon as I finished my residency."

"Tell us," Alice urged gently.

I glanced up at Edward again, and found that he was staring at me. I looked down again quickly, clearing my throat.

"It was a bit…shocking," I began quietly. "I could relate to this woman more than that sixteen-year old girl I told you about."

The room was deathly silent, and even Emmett was trying to eat quietly without clinking his eating utensils on his plate.

"I think it might have been…about a week after my residency ended. Though I still had a lot to learn, my professor trusted me. For my first assignment, she put me in charge of any new maternity cases that came in. That assignment was pretty basic, and I thought I could handle it easily. But, of course, to even think that was jinxing everything.

"The first ten patients were all easy enough. I remember five of them were already in labor when they were rushed inside. Three of them just walked in casually for a checkup. And the last two women just walked in because it happened to be their due date. They hadn't gone into labor."

Carlisle chuckled. "Those are always the lucky ones."

I smiled. "True. So I took care of them easily, instructing the nurses and interns on what to do. I got another colleague of mine to take care of one patient who needed a C-section. For my first day as a real gynecologist, I thought I was doing pretty well. Until…" The lump got bigger, and I had to pause. I took a deep breath.

"It was around seven o'clock in the evening," I continued. "And the floor was pretty quiet. And then, there came a call from the ER, saying that they needed several gynecologists to come down right away. They wouldn't tell us what kind of a case it was, but I grabbed two of my colleagues and ran down.

"As soon as I saw the mother, I knew it was bad. I got one of my colleagues to get a hold of our professor, and I rushed in and started checking the status of her baby.

"Someone had pushed her intentionally down a flight of stairs. She'd rolled all the way down, and her weight had crushed the baby. The baby was somehow still alive, and I thought I could get it out before it could die. It was about two months premature, but we could deal with that later. I couldn't wait for the professor to join me, so I told my colleagues to get ready for a surgery. They seemed horrified that I would just do it in the ER, but I was desperate. I knew what it was like to lose a baby."

I spoke like I was in a trance. I was remembering every detail of that day as I told the story. The others had stopped eating, and were staring at me with wide eyes. Edward looked rather pale, as he realized what I meant by the way that I could relate to the woman.

"I didn't want the woman to lose her child like I had lost mine. I'd never done a C-section before, and I don't know how I did it. But I got the baby out, and I watched him take his first gulp of air. I told the nurses to put him in an incubator right away, and I turned around to deal with the mother. But…" I stopped abruptly, remembering that continuous, beeping sound. The sound I dreaded hearing every single day. I shuddered delicately.

"Too late?" Carlisle asked softly.

I nodded slowly. "I still remember it so clearly. I started performing CPR on her, but she didn't come back. I was pumping her heart for about ten minutes, until my professor, who'd arrived to see me take out the baby, forced me to stop. She made one of my colleagues announce her death, and took me away to see the baby.

"I was in shock after seeing my first patient die under my care, but I felt relieved that I'd saved her baby. At least…that's what I'd thought.

"The baby was having trouble breathing. His lungs hadn't fully developed yet, and he was wheezing a lot. We tried our best to help him, but…" I sighed heavily. "Two weeks after his birth, he passed. I felt so horrible. I couldn't save my first patient, and I couldn't save her child either. But the worst part was that the father didn't even blame me. He thanked me instead for doing my best, and even apologized for all the trouble that I'd gone through." I smiled wryly, sighing. "I never liked hearing that beeping sound on the machines after that."

It was silent. Esme and Renee were sniffling, and Alice and Rosalie looked glum. Jasper was playing around with his mashed potatoes, looking like he totally knew what I felt like, and Emmett didn't look very hungry anymore. Carlisle was looking at me sympathetically, and Charlie looked awkward. Edward…

Edward looked pained again. And I knew that he was remembering the way I'd looked eight years ago after my miscarriage. I was lucky I hadn't lost my life along with my baby, but I had actually seen a patient lose her life, and had even witnessed her baby dying as well.

"Sorry I told such a dreary story over Christmas dinner," I said, smiling apologetically. "It's supposed to be a happy gathering, but I guess I ruined that, huh?"

"No, no," Esme said quickly. "It's a bit sad, I admit, but it's very interesting to hear what you had to go through to be where you are right now. I'm proud of you, honey."

I laughed, much brighter this time. "Smile, guys. Just forget I ever said anything. Anyone know a joke?"

"I do!" Emmett said, perking up. "Why did the chicken cross the road? So he can get to the other side!" He started laughing hysterically.

We all stared at him.

"What?" he asked. "Isn't it funny? I laughed for ten minutes when I heard that one."

"That's because you're lame, you idiot," Alice snapped. "That joke must be two hundred years old."

I laughed. "Well, it's funny because it wasn't."

Suddenly, Edward got up.

"Excuse me," he muttered before walking out of the dining room quickly.

I stared after him, my face expressionless. I had told two stories, thinking that I could forget about his ring.

But the fact that I was able to relate to my first patient made me wonder about it again.


AN: So she finally saw the ring! Confused, much? Reviews!