Author's Note: Maybe you'll curse at Edward after this chapter for being such a greedy, hypocritical guy. Maybe you won't. Who knows? But just understand that it was necessary to continue the story. You guys don't want Mistakes to end too quickly, do you?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.


Chapter 47

Edward's Point of View

I walked out of the dining room as quickly as I could. My heart was beating extremely fast, and I could hardly breathe.

I stopped on the first step of the staircase and leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths and closing my eyes. I still couldn't believe she was back.

It had been several hours already, and I had a hard time believing it. It was just the fact that there had been no contact for eight solid years, and all of a sudden, she'd just dropped in for Christmas. I had been taken aback. Although she'd explained about her rather absentminded professor, it just didn't seem like Bella. It didn't make sense.

As soon as she'd walked into the living room with Jasper, my heart had literally stopped for one second. I couldn't stop staring at her the whole entire time she was greeting the others. She looked so, incredibly amazing.

She had gotten, if possible, much more beautiful over the past eight years. She was twenty-five now, I knew, but she still looked seventeen to me. Her lovely chocolate eyes that had dazzled me so much in our past still held that same warmth, though there was sadness that she kept hidden inside. Her mahogany hair was longer, and her body had gotten curvier.

I'd felt dizzy as I had noticed all these characteristics. I'd felt like I was being drugged. I was nineteen all over again, when I would be dazed by the fact that she was just there.

I truly hated myself at that moment, for ruining our relationship. I could have been next to her the past years if it hadn't been for my stupid mistake. I could have protected her from all those unpredictable men who seemed to have made some moves on her. This beautiful young woman could have been mine.

I still felt guilty, even after Jasper's advice to forget the past. How could I ever throw away the remorse I felt?

But now, it was even worse. When Bella had looked at me earlier, there was no hint of blame or accusation in her eyes. No, they had only held sadness, as if she'd given up on blaming me.

She had forgiven me too. That made everything worse. How could I ever face her, when I didn't deserve to be forgiven?

She'd even gotten me a present. A Christmas sweater that had a picture of Frosty the Snowman. The picture had reminded me of our first Christmas in New York, soon after we'd moved from Forks. We'd all gone outside to have a snowball fight. Did she even remember that?

If she had thought of it and had gotten the sweater for me, it also meant that she had even forgot about the past. She'd moved on. She could think about her childhood and teen years safely, without getting hurt all over again. The thought made me feel pathetic for not being able to let go of her.

Her stories of her experiences at the hospital made me feel especially horrible. It was such a cruel coincidence that she'd had to see her first patient and her baby die in a way that was similar to how she had lost her baby.

What had I done? I had known that I had done wrong for a long time now, but this was the first time in years that I'd actually thought about it in detail. Other times, I would try to forget the past, and force myself not to think. What had I done?

I was really messed up. How could I ever move on now, when she'd come back to New York at the wrong time? How could I move on, when her beautiful face would keep interrupting in everything that I did? How could I?

I was miserable now. The fact that I couldn't touch her, or even dare talk to her, was agonizing. It might be better to kill myself.

I buried my face in my hands, groaning softly. And I felt the cool surface of my ring.

Startled, I looked at it. I hadn't even noticed that I'd been wearing it the whole time. And Bella had been sitting right in front of me at dinner. Had she noticed?

If she had, it would be pretty obvious that I hadn't forgotten about her. I was so pathetic right now, it was ridiculous.

I laughed quietly and humorlessly. What did I have to do to survive now?

"Edward?" Alice was calling for me softly, having followed me out, concerned.

"Over here," I whispered hoarsely, my voice breaking.

She found me, and her expression turned sympathetic. "Oh, Edward…" She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me gently. "I know this is hard for you."

"I'm sure it's worse for her," I said quietly. "This is nothing, Alice."

She leaned away, a strange expression on her face. It was mixed between disapproval and amusement. "You should have taken off your ring, brother."

I looked at her, startled. "What do you mean?"

Alice smiled wryly. "Bella noticed it during dinner. Careless, Edward."

"She…noticed it?" I asked faintly.

"She's confused right now," Alice confirmed. "But I don't think she's caught on yet. She's intelligent, though. She'll catch on, and I'm pretty sure that she's going to make one of us tell her about how you haven't…you know." She gave me a meaningful look. "This is what you get for not being able to move on." She had lowered her voice.

I sighed resignedly. "I suppose. What am I supposed to do now, Alice? I'm so…scared." I grimaced at the word. It was true, anyhow.

She looked at me, pained. "It hurts to see my baby brother unhappy, you know that?"

"I'm no baby, Alice."

She snorted. "You'll always be my baby brother. No matter what anyone says."

I smiled slightly. "Fine, then. What should I do now, big sis?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I would prefer you two getting back together, but that's not going to happen, is it?"

"I refuse to do it."

"Why?"

I paused. Then, I whispered, "I don't deserve to."

"You deserve to be happy," Alice corrected. "No one deserves it more than you, Edward. You've beaten yourself up for eight years; it's time you let go of your past."

"Stop it," I said, shaking my head. "Why is everyone telling me to let go of my past? I can't."

"Let go of it," Alice said clearly and firmly. "And start anew. With Bella."

I stared at her. What was she talking about?

"You've been blaming yourself for eight years, so self-punishment has been pushed to its limit. Now, it's time for you to find happiness. And the only way you'll be able to do that is if you go after Bella again."

I looked away. "Not that again. She's moved on, Alice."

"No!" she snapped. "Does that look like the face of someone who has moved on from her ex? No! She still loves you. I can just tell."

"It just looks like she doesn't have a problem with me anymore," I said.

"That's just it. She's too…casual. Nonchalant. Abnormal. It's too obvious!" She was getting really excited at the thought of us two getting back together again.

"Alice…" I tried to dissuade her.

"You were both young eight years ago," she said, totally ignoring me. "Now, eight years later, you're both matured and adults. This is a perfect time to spice everything up again. I just know that you two will be able to work it out this time if you succeed."

"Succeed what?" Emmett and Jasper came into view.

I looked at them, startled. "Is…?"

"No, Bella's talking to Carlisle and Rose," Jasper answered. "Esme told us to go look for you two. She and Renee are serving dessert."

"Succeed what?" Emmett pressed. His eyes narrowed. "You're keeping something from us."

I looked away. "Why can't you all leave me alone?" I started ascending the staircase to escape to my room.

Jasper grabbed my wrist firmly and pulled me back down. He held up my left hand and gave me a sharp look. "She noticed this, you know."

He meant my ring. Of course he did.

"What?" Emmett looked surprised. "She noticed that you have the ring on?"

"I know," I said sourly. "Now let go of my hand."

Jasper did, but crossed his arms. "What are you going to do?" His eyebrows were raised challengingly.

I stared at him. "What do you want me to do?"

Rosalie came wandering over curiously just in time to hear my question. She paused, gaping slightly. She'd caught on immediately.

"I already told you," Alice said impatiently. "You have to get her back! This is your chance, Edward! She's going to be staying here as long as you need her to!"

"I didn't ask you," I said. "I already know what you think, but I want to know what Jasper thinks."

"Because he's Bella's brother?" Alice rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. I'm her sister. Same difference."

"In-law," Emmett shot at her. "Let him find out, sis."

Alice scowled.

Jasper's expression had hardened. His lips were pursed, and I knew immediately that he was against it.

"Jazzy," Alice pleaded. "You know how much Edward's suffered over the past eight years."

Jasper looked at me. "When I told you to move on earlier, I didn't mean start new with Bella. In fact, I didn't even realize that this was a possibility. But I've been thinking about this ever since she came back, and…" He sighed. "Since your divorce was final eight years ago, I can't really stop you from going after her again. You guys have nothing to do with each other anymore, really. But…I just can't bring myself to give you permission to hurt her even more, Edward. I'm sorry."

Alice's jaw dropped. "Jasper!"

He didn't know it, but suddenly, Alice's suggestion sounded even more tempting. And it was wrong, considering how Jasper had just told me openly that he didn't want me pursuing his sister.

My own expression hardened with determination, and Jasper noticed. He knew instantly that I wasn't going to respect his wishes. He sighed silently.

"Ignore that guiltiness, Edward," Emmett spoke up.

Jasper glared at him.

Emmett raised his hand in surrender. "Sorry, bro, but I'm on Alice's side." He turned back to me. "Just forget your mistakes now, and go after her. Hold your head up high and don't be ashamed. Just pretend you're a hypocritical, selfish jerk, and just go after her mercilessly." He nodded once. "It'll do you good."

I cracked a slight smile. They were right. I should really move on. It was the only way I could go after Bella unashamedly.

"Hey," Bella said, appearing. Everyone quickly wore their poker faces. Except me. I couldn't keep the small smile off of my face. "What are you all doing here?"

"Nothing," Emmett said innocently. "Just talking."

Her eyes narrowed. "Well, you're all going to miss dessert. Carlisle and Charlie already wolfed down about half of the strawberry shortcake-"

"What?" Jasper snapped. He glared at me. "This is all your fault, Edward." He looked mockingly angry now that Bella was within hearing distance, but I knew that he was being sincere. He was warning me silently not to go after her anymore.

But I was stubborn. "Sorry, Jasper. But I'm afraid I can't do that." I grinned widely. "You're going to have be annoyed with me for a while."

He scowled. "Edward…" he said warningly.

I shrugged while my siblings and Rosalie looked pleased. "Sorry."

"Do what?" Bella asked.

"Oh, Edward was just asking us what we think about dating one of his ex-girlfriends again," Alice said quickly.

Bella blinked, taken aback. "Oh." She looked slightly abashed. "I see." But then, she recovered almost immediately, and her eyes narrowed again. She knew that smile on Alice's face, and knew something was going on.

"Fine," she said stiffly. "Hurry up." And she disappeared again.

"Thanks a lot, Alice," I said, frowning. "Now, she's never going to like me again."

Alice grinned.

"More like ex-fiancée," Emmett snorted. "Edward and Bella never had the chance to date properly like a real couple."

Rosalie smiled at me. "Bella seems like a great person. I can understand now why you were never able to move on. Good luck, Edward."

I smiled back tentatively. "Thanks, Rose."

Jasper sighed. "Edward… Can you not do this? You'll be forcing me to hate you again."

"Hate me then," I said, smiling slightly apologetically. "But I'm going after her. I can't be happy without her, and she can't be without me either."

His mouth twisted unhappily.

"Hurry up!" Bella barked from the dining room. It looked like she was getting cranky from being kept out from a secret. "The cake is nearly gone!"

Emmett and Jasper's eyes widened in horror, and they began running simultaneously. They began pulling each other and laughing, trying to keep one another from getting their first.

Jasper seemed to be letting the matter go for now, but I knew that he would get fired up again at the first chance that he got. But I got the silent message: Act normal for now.

Taking their fight as an advantage, I slipped past them so I can get there first.

"Hey!" Jasper said, grabbing my arm at the last minute. "No way, man!"

We all stumbled into the dining room, laughing and tangled with each other.

"Let me go, dude!" Jasper barked at Emmett.

"Let me go, Jazz!" I protested. "Ow!"

The parents all looked surprised at my renewed cheerfulness. They hadn't seen me laughing so happily and carefree like this in a long time. They just blinked at me, while Bella just made a face.

When I met her gaze, I smiled at her playfully. She blinked, looking dazed then looked down quickly at her cake, blushing.

And I knew that I was doing the right thing in getting her back.


AN: What'd you think? Reviews, please!