He seemed to like that cat and mouse game and I have to admit I got a bit of a jolt out of it. But there was a point where it had to result in answers. I am not above taking every advantage I had. I was the bigger one now, I had the brut to get what I wanted out of him.
"Spill what?" his small wriggle under me had me counting and keeping some parts in check. It was a lot to keep in mind. I didn't want to crush him with my weight, I wanted to keep a loose grip on his wrists so he felt safe, I needed to keep the not so little guy as little as possible. And I had to get the answers.
"You know what, stop playing and tell me." he pulls his hands free and I roll off him to the side. We lay face to face. His arms fold around him self. "Please?" I add in hopes.
"Em I never had the life of a normal person. Ever. I was fucked up. I was confused. Once I figured it out I was told how wrong it was and how I was a freak." His tone is steady and calm but laced with enough sadness that I know how hard it was.
"Once I got it really, I was to far gone in to the life I thought was mapped out. You know the fates have a master plan." He said it matter of fact. I had often thought the same but I wouldn't have thought him of any beliefs.
"The Fates are tricky things though." I say it low but make sure there is no mocking tone. Thankfully he nods and gets it.
"Let's just say the people I was around didn't really do the whole dates and courting type shot. They were groups and parties and well you know. So no I never had a date and.." he let the sentence drift off.
"Today was the first and for me it was perfect." It might not have started out as one per se but somewhere along the way it felt like ti was to me too. His face brightened but still held a sadness. "Edward, it was a date. It wasn't playing around. You get that right? Edward?" I try to get the right tone to get the point across.
"K" was his only answer. Funny how I was always the one feeling so small and weak and now Mr. Badass rocker man, the one person I always thought of as the strongest person I knew is the one needing the reassuring.
"I am not going to baby this anymore. I am over hiding and dancing around. I have two more nights until I have to be back to real life and God damn it! I want real life to include you." I am sitting up on my knees and looking down at him. I may be scaring him but hope I'm not but this has been many years coming and we need it out and done. "We have been lost in the crap for to long. After I crawled out of the shit, I put myself somewhere where I was content, I was successful I thought I had it all. But I was far from really happy. You, you went another way. And where the hell did it get you? Almost dead that's where. No wait, correct that you were dead. You think this is a game?"
I was on a roll and no way to know where to stop. So I didn't. I had watched and waited and been the good little boy that I always was, just taking the shit and never saying it. Now it was going to get said wether he liked to hear it or not.
"I was dead, you are right. But my life ended well before my heart stopped that night." pushing up he didn't run, didn't try to leave the bed. He just pushed up to sitting and leaned back against the head board. Arms once again tightened around himself like he was holding himself together. "I was a cruel child, raised by cruel parents. They weren't that way on purpose but they are what they are. That doesn't make excuses for how I turned out. No that was all on me. So if you want to do this. We are going to have to hit it all." I knew I wanted it out there but I am not sure now that he is the one speaking up. Somehow him saying the words made it more real. The truth that only he and I know about.
"How about we just jump right at when I tried to rape you. Are you ready for that Em?"
