I don't believe it at all. Not for a minute can I believe that he can handle the truth that I try to block. That it has always been him. It was always him, I hid for so long trying to find the same feeling I felt when I finally touched him.

"Really you can't but I will tell you." I give him one more kiss, praying it isn't the last one and throw my heart into it. It isn't passion it is something else in it and I hope it conveys how I mean it. His lips are so soft and strong. As they grip my lower lip and I feel his tongue brush it I try to hold back a tremble. It is everything I have never had. It is what I searched for and wanted in countless places. The thing I never found because it was never anywhere else to be found. I have to break away, I feel the sting of tears burning behind my eye lids.

I pull away and turn to face the bed. I can hear his heavy breath but he is quiet so I know he is waiting on me.

"I think it was never a choice. Never. The only choice was what do I do with it all. You were the first thing I saw since the first time we were in room together. It was a draw, a pull. There was no where else to look. Even when I wasn't looking I saw you in some way." I couldn't take not seeing him now so I picked to sit on the windowsill again. "I was always trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was brow beaten into what I should be. Manly, faithful to some extent and always look good in front of others. Always keep up the facade. All American family, the popular son the good at sports, hung with the right people. You know how it is is. Well maybe not."

"Oh I know, I just had a mom that could spin anything." he had chosen to sit on the corner of the bed. "As much as you had to hide because you were not right for your family, I was hiding for fear my mother would join another group."

"Two side of the same coin." I mutter and he nods.