Chapter Seven

"Eddie," Dr. McLean's nurse called her back for her annual exam. Jamie was by her side as he had been for nearly every one.

They sat down in the doctor's inner office holding hands just as usual. Nine times out of ten, they got great results, no signs of recurrence. A few times, there had been high blood tests and suspicious shadows but they got through it together.

The doctor came in five minutes later. "Good to see you, Eddie and first let me say that I am so sorry about your father."

Eddie smiled, "Thank you. He was suffering, and he's in a better place now."

Dr. McLean smiled, "Yes, he is but I'm sure he was happy to have his family in the end. Now, tell me about how you've been feeling."

"I'm fine," Eddie replied as usual.

The doctor frowned a little, Jamie sat up straighter, his detective eye still sharp. "Any fatigue? Back pain? Knee pain?"

"Well, yes, but I'm fifty eight," Eddie replied. "Fifty eight in a two story house with a sick father-in-law, pregnant daughter, a husband that often needs shoe tying, who wouldn't…"

Jamie squeezed her hand, the doctor was driving at something. "Is it back?"

Dr. McLean shook his head, "No, no, it's not the cancer, the CEA-125 and the scan are clean."

"So what's with all the questions, Doctor? I'm a cop thirty four years, I think I know when someone is beating around a bush," Jamie pressed holding Eddie tighter.

Dr. McLean began writing, "This is a referral to a nephrologist, Dr. Kamal Gupta, he is highly recommended and I have worked with him a number of times. Eddie, your creatinine levels have come back elevated for the third time. Each time I've marked this and each time they are slightly more elevated. When I first noticed the elevation, it was slight, a 1.5, then a 2.2, not it's a 3.1. The prolonged use of anti-cancer drugs and the chemotherapy can over time lead to kidney disease. I'd like you to see Dr. Gupta and rule that out. If you are experiencing those symptoms, I would make the appointment sooner rather than later."

Eddie looked at her doctor, her blue eyes flashing, "You're telling me all the time I worked on staying healthy, I was making myself sick?"

"Not necessarily," Dr. McLean replied. "There are other factors that can cause this but let's get it checked out. I'm going to change your tamoxifen this time as well to a different drug. The side effects are a little rougher but it's easier on the kidneys. It's a newer pill but I've had a lot of good luck with it."

Jamie had the script filled before the left the medical arts pavilion. As they walked to the car, Eddie read the side effects list. "I hope you're ready to be married to Shamu again."

"Eddie," Jamie rolled his eyes.

"Well it says right on the top of the list, weight gain, swelling of the face, neck, arms, legs and feet, irritability, increased thirst…I might as well let the damn cancer get me!"

Jamie stopped dead in his tracks pulling Eddie's hand so she faced him. His blue eyes thinned at Eddie upset when she talked like that.

"Stop Eddie I don't ever want you to say that again. If the drugs will help you stay alive but cause weight gain that's better than the alternative. "

Eddie shook her head in disagreement knowing how hard it's going to be again as she gained weight. She was of small stature, the extra pounds interfered with her stamina, her dexterity, her overall quality of life.

"This is ridiculous Jamie! All the side effects; the medication is just causing more problems."

Jamie reached for her hand pulling her closer to him letting his hands rest on her waist while meeting her eyes. "No matter what happens I'd rather have you here with me as long as we can. We don't known for sure what it is yet but if it is kidney problems we'll take it on together. I love you Eddie, and I want you here as long as possible."

Eddie wiped her eyes, "Jamie…I…"

"I want you with me, Eddie. If you're fat or thin, swelling…on more medications than we can count, I don't care," Jamie declared. "You once told me that you loved me and as long as I understood you when you said it and in some way could say it back that was all the mattered. Why is it any less true for you?"

Eddie didn't have an answer for that, all she knew was she was tired of suffering from medications designed to prevent her from suffering. They got into the car and headed for home, Eddie keeping silent, angry that Jamie was forcing this issue.

Frank was resting in the living room when the couple arrived, "Take your pill now," Jamie instructed pouring her a glass of milk. "It says it'll upset your stomach if you don't take it with milk."

"Oh no," Frank's face fell as he took in Eddie's teary eyes and Jamie's firm tone. "No, not again…" The old man covered his face.

"No, Dad, it's not like that," Jamie explained hurriedly. "Dr. McLean changed Eddie's meds that's all and she's kind of upset about some of the effects. Where's that referral card, I'm going to make that appointment."

"Jamie, can we just slow this down," Eddie begged. "Please."

"No, Eddie, we cannot slow this down. This is your health, I'm not waiting to make this call. It can take months to get into a good specialist!" Jamie took the card and made the call.

No one heard Lila enter through the kitchen door. She heard her father's clipped tone and her mother biting back in equal measure. Her parents rarely fought so it was rough for her to hear them doing it.

Jamie was pacing back and forth on hold with the doctor's scheduler. Eddie just sat on the sofa, tears running down her face. Jamie wasn't even listening to her. Frank got up and put his arms around his "daughter". "Hush, now…Tell me what happened."

Eddie explained about the medication, the list of horrendous side effects, and about her kidneys. "Jamie's making such a big deal, he hasn't listed to a word I said."

Frank sighed, "Jamie's scared, and he just loves you so much."

Eddie sighed, "He might love me, but he used to respect me."

Lila was listening to all of this, her hand on her belly as it was just beginning to round. She'd come to speak to her father and see if her Mom wanted to shop for maternity clothes with her.

She listened as her father began speaking into the receiver, "Hello, yes, this is Police Commissioner Reagan, I'm calling to make the first available appointment for my wife, Edit, Dr. McLean referred us to Dr. Gupta."

Jamie listened, "That's really not acceptable, she's had steadily rising number for a year, she needs the first available…"

"Two weeks is fine, thank you." Jamie wrote the information down and hug up. "Two weeks from today," Jamie told Eddie. "I'll fix it with Meyers so I'm available to go with you."

"You can go, I'm not going!" Eddie stood up. "You never even listened to me about this Jamie. It's my body, those levels aren't that high!"

Neither one was aware of Lila.

Lila stood shocked in the kitchen imaging the worst hearing only half the conversation. Her shock slowly turned to worry thinking her mom was placed on medication because to her cancer coming back. Lila didn't remember Eddie's cancer well, just that it had left her father and brother in an endless cycle of fear that it would one day return and snatch Eddie from them. Quickly, Lila choked back a sob before anyone heard and placed a hand on the counter to steady herself, trying to calm down before approaching her parents.

It took several deep breaths for Lila to finally stop sobbing enough to enter the living room with a forced smile on her face. Jamie could see the worry in his daughter's eyes, the redness there and the streaks on her face. As a seasoned cop and father, he knew when someone especially someone in his family, was hiding their feelings.

"What's wrong, Kitten?" Jamie was immediately concerned something happened between her and Steven or with her pregnancy.

Lila took a deep breath as she crossed the room taking a seat on the couch beside her mom, reaching for the older woman's hand. Eddie had always been so strong after all they've been through. "Is mom sick again? I came in and heard you two talking about medication and doctors."

"Oh Lila, it isn't like that," Eddie gasped upset her daughter heard them arguing. She quickly gave Lila's hand a gentle squeeze to reassure her daughter before explaining what the doctor said. "But we're not sure what is causing those numbers to go up, it might not be anything really serious. We made an appointment for two weeks. I'm sorry you had to hear us fighting, I just don't want to go on this new medication is going to make me fat and cause other problems worse than the illness itself."

Lila looked between her mother and father as Jamie sat behind Lila on the couch offering a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Mom, if the medication is going to help you even if it makes you gain a little weight, then who cares. If it's better for you then none of us care about weight, as long as you're alive. I want you to see your grandkids when they're born."

Instinctively Lila ran a hand over her belly, thinking about her babies meeting their grandparents. She knew they were both excited to become grandparents and Frank to become a great-grandfather again.

Eddie sighed, looking down at their joined hands. "The weight gain is ugly, but it also causes my back and legs to hurt and my knees to ache. Your father still needs help a lot of days, even if it is just simple things, and you're pregnant…Having that kind of joint pain and swelling, I'd be too much of a burden. I don't see why I can't stay on the pill I was already on, if it is damaging my kidneys, my body is just worn then. I won't be a burden to my children. My father wasn't, Grandpa isn't, Grandpa Henry wasn't, I won't be."

Lila pulled her hand out of her mother's very gentle grasp shocked at the words Eddie just spoke. "Mom, don't ever say that! You're not a burden, we love you very much. We'll all do what we can to help, I won't be pregnant forever you know! I don't want you thinking that, I need you Mom." Lila brought her hand to brush Eddie's cheek a tear sparkling in her eye as the two embraced.

Jamie bit back some emotion seeing Lila so open in her expression of love for her Mom. Jamie rubbed Lila's back. "I'm so sorry you had to find out like this, Kitten. We weren't going to tell anyone until Mom saw the specialist."

"Well, now that I know you need to tell Joey or he'll be angry and hurt," Lila replied. "You can tell him in your own time. We want to know all this stuff, Dad. Mom, I'm here, why don't you go up and rest and I'll help Dad get something in the slow cooker. When you're feeling better, we can plan a shopping trip. I'm wearing Steven's pants with the cuffs rolled up."

Eddie laughed, "I'm feeling fine, Lila. I don't need to rest, but having dinner together would be really nice. Is Steven working?"

Jamie's face darkened at Steven's name. "In fact, now might be a good time for you and Dad to have a little chat." Eddie stood up, "Frank, how about you and me start on dinner and let these two talk."

Lila looked at Jamie, "Dad, I know you're upset about what happened…"

"I'm not upset about what happened," Jamie corrected. "I'm upset that Steven didn't defend you, baby. He sat there, let his parents say terrible things about you and the babies and didn't say a word! I have a serious problem with that. What kind of man did I marry you off to?"

"Daddy," Lila sighed. "Steven was angry and caught off guard. He texted his father to have lunch and he laid things down. He told him that if he or his mother used me or the twins to get back at you or grandpa again or even spoke ill of us again, he would be dead to them. I know it hurt him to say so, but he meant it. Steven was the right choice for me, and you were right to support it."

Jamie nodded, "All right, if you say he did the right thing and the cat just had his tongue…Okay. If he's off, invite him to dinner, this family has bigger problems than worrying about the Tenneys. If you are happy and safe, that's what counts."

Lila rubbed Jamie's leg, "Are you all right with this thing with Mom?"

Jamie sighed, "I'm scared to death. We always knew this could happen but I never actually thought that it would. I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure Mom is okay, including retire. If I have to nurse her through every day…do you feel that for Steven?"

Lila's eyes misted, "Yes, no matter what life brings us I want to be by his side and he wants to be by mine. I'm fine, I'm grown up and going to be a mom myself." Lila stood up and caressed Jamie's cheek. "Stop worrying."

Jamie got up and went to check on Frank and Eddie while Lila placed a call to Steven. He was working that night but sent his love. "I'm working the next two nights, if you want to stay with your folks. If that will make you feel better.

Lila sniffled, "I just hate hearing her talk about herself like that. My mother broke her back fighting this disease and she succeeded, it's not fair the medicine that was making her well gave her something else. I think I will stay, she's on new pills and with my grandpa…"

"Be careful, Lila," Steven warned gently. "You have very precious cargo…"

Lila sighed and put her hand on her belly, she'd do anything for her twins. "I love you guys," she told them. "If Mommy ever got sick like Nana…I'd fight for you too." Lila smiled, she finally understood her mother's love…and as long as that existed, she didn't have to worry, Eddie might threaten to give up, but she never would leave her family without a fight.

A/N: Cancer is a difficult animal, and it never quite let's you go. Thank you to the reviewers and to all who have been reading.

To my guest reviewer – I usually reply to reviews through PM but I can't so I will try my best to reply this way…In a future story, Frank and Erin will have a conversation explaining his decision in grooming Jamie for taking things over. Frank sees Mary and himself in Jamie, Jamie has an exceptional mind, he has an intellect that far surpasses any of the previous Reagan patriarchs and is a slightly more level headed when the chips are down. I'll let that scene in story six explain the rest I hope you are still reading by them.

Hope everyone has a great Monday. See you on Tuesday!