What is there to say to that? I know how the books and movies go. I know the way every romantic girl in the world expects it to go. But when it is said to you, when you are in the place I am now It is a blank. It should e all hearts and flowers like in the movies. It should be final kiss the end. It's not. It's tense, it's the weight of the world hanging on you. It's more fuck up and lose it all, it's the gift of a lifetime or depths of hell. I would have a headache if I could stop and digest it.

He does what I hoped he wouldn't and rolls over on to his back and scoots up. His arms at his sides and he is in a relaxed position but I know it doesn't match his mood. But he is doing what he has to for me. Never pushing me beyond what he thinks I can handle. I know what is going on in his head too. I don't know how I have gotten the bee line to his brain but it is just there. What I see I don't like. It is him going into his scary place. His self doubting and worry spot. He is scared he pushed it or opened up to much. That can't happen.

I have never been brave, I have always been a bully or a coward. I have never gone for it sober. I have never taken what I wanted without a dare. I have lived a life of a low life in a haze. In front of me is a rope with plenty of knots dangled in front of me. I have already grabbed the first ones at the bottom. This time I am going to suck it up and reach for the ones at the top.

With a few deep breaths I take the last one and roll over on to him. I put a fist on each side of his chest and settle my knees between his thighs I am waiting for a sign I have over stepped and when I get none I lower down. My head is even with his chest as I stretch my legs out. I feel the sparks as our bodies meet. His hands go to the hem at the back of my shirt and lift it off of me before my abs meet his stomach. Then my fingers are twined and my chin rests on them as I stare up at him. His eyes are sparkling between thick lashes. It takes my breath away. The moment his fingers thread through my hair I am sure I sucked up all the oxygen in the room.

"I'm scared."

He gives me nothing but keeps the soothing strokes to the scalp.

"I don't know what to do with it."

The strokes keep up, his breathing is even and his eyes are on mine. Not giving anything. It is frustrating as hell but I know what he is doing. I look at him, I feel him. I get it. All of it. I may not be able to recall much when I am around him lately but I can recall every minute from the far past.

"I love you?" lame, yup, I feel my fingers shake.

He cocks a brow and keeps up the scratching strokes of my head.

I rub my face and then put my hands firmer on his chest. I am hoping I can pull this off. My hands slide down his sides until the meet the bed and I use what ever strength I can muster to push myself up and above him. Face to face. His hands have gone down my body and are now firmly placed above my hips. I have to leap, it isn't a could, or can it is a have to.

"I love you." There I had it out as a statement, said and true it was there. His fingers tighten and that is the last thing I register before I am pulled down.

"That is all I needed to know." My mouth is crushed to his and that is it, I have no more worries.