A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favourite/followed. Thank you for being so patient in waiting for me to get out this chapter.
Rating: T
Characters: Beca/Jesse, the rest of the Pitch Perfect cast plus some other characters.
Warnings: Mature situations referenced and swearing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or the songs used in this fic in any way. I'm just playing with them.
Hurricanes Chapter 11 – Chloe
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"I'm sorry ma'am, my bullshit detector is going off and making all sorts of noises."
Beca kept her eyes on the road and her grip of the steering wheel tight, stretching the skin over her knuckles. She didn't want to talk about this right now. No way. She was still trying to keep her cool and not pull over to the side of the highway and have a sobbing fit. They were still three hours away from New York, and she was grateful Jesse had held off on asking questions. Regardless, she didn't want to discuss it.
"Beca-" Jesse began, but halted himself, appraising her out of the corner of his eyes. "You know, you might as well just tell me now and get it over and done with so I don't bug you."
"You'll bug me regardless," she replied tersely.
"True, but if we get it over with now, you won't have any other witnesses but me," he said.
Beca understood what he was implying. Chloe – already alerted to the fact something was seriously off in their recent phone call – wouldn't leave her alone until she got the truth. When they reached North Carolina, Jesse's family would be around and would make it hard for Beca to let her guard down.
But she didn't want to talk about it.
They had stopped at a gas station to fill up the Rav4 and switch drivers when Jesse passed her a pack of twizzlers and raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"No."
"Just tell me what your mum had over your dad that allowed her to keep you with her all these years," he entreated, smoothly getting back onto the main road. "That's what I can't figure out. Your dad is cool, Becs, and he doesn't seem like the type to give you up without a fight."
Beca stared out the window, frowning at her reflection in the glare of the sun. Her eyes were red rimmed from holding back tears, and her usual dark eye makeup she used as a shield was missing. She didn't like the way she looked.
Jesse sighed, knowing trying to move Beca when she didn't want to be moved on an issue was like trying to move a huge hunk of rock. It couldn't be done, at least not without the proverbial cuts and bruises.
They were an hour away from Chloe's apartment when she spoke, soft, the words slightly raspy from her tongue.
"My mother wanted the divorce because she wanted to move from where we lived in New York to further her career. To Chicago. Dad didn't want to, because he worked at NYU and was doing well. She was already having mental breakdowns at home and stuff, and according to dad, was jealous of how well we got along. So she divorced him – and not even a day after she kicked him out, mum told me lies. That he cheated on her. That dad wanted her to stay at home and look after me while he worked. That he didn't want me as a daughter in the first place. I was a kid. After a while, I believed her," Beca murmured. "The reality was as soon as dad left, mum had another guy to take his place. Dad told me that mum threatened him. Threatened that if he tried to get me back, if he tried to win more contact with me, that she would move the two of us to the UK and get restraining orders so that he could never come near us."
"That's terrible," Jesse said.
"Ya think?" Beca snorted. "Anyway, that's why. She blackmailed him, and me, into thinking that we didn't care about each other anymore. And it worked for a long time."
Jesse leaned back, navigating the hectic motorway with ease as he absorbed the information.
It only made him admire Beca more for being as resilient as she was. "Thank you," he said.
They both knew what he was thanking her for, and by unspoken agreement, they put the matter out of their minds.
"Beca! Jesse!"
Chloe's shrill squeal of excitement made both Beca and Jesse wince. The redhead lunged out of her apartment doorway at them, pulling them both to her in an enthusiastic hug. "Oh my god you're both here! This is awesome! We're going to have so much fun. We're gonna watch movies, play singstar, I'm going to show you all of my favourite places to eat and drink and we'll even catch a musical! And-" she released their necks, only to grab their hands and pull them inside, much to Jesse's bemusement and Beca's irritation.
"It's going to be aca-awesome," Chloe finished happily, beaming at the couple.
"Nice to see you too Chloe," Jesse smiled back at her.
"Yeah, hi," Beca muttered, uncomfortable with the cheeriness of her friend when she had just been put through the wringer. She didn't want to think about it and dragged her bag behind her, taking a good look around Chloe's apartment. She thought that it suited the bubbly redhead. There was bright art decorating the walls to contrast with the white walls and warm woods. There was a comfy looking grey sofa covered in citrus coloured cushions and there was a bowl of jelly snakes on the coffee table in front of it with a little 'welcome' card next to it.
The niceness of it all made Beca feel ill.
"Hey Chloe, where do you want me to dump these?" she asked.
"Oh, I'll show you. I only have one guest bedroom – are you and Jesse alright to share?" Chloe informed them, curbing her enthusiasm when she observed that Beca hadn't even smiled once.
"It's up to Beca," Jesse said diplomatically.
"Yeah, we're fine," Beca confirmed, following Chloe down an small L-shaped hallway ending in three doors.
"My bedroom is the door on the left, yours is on the right, and the bathroom is in between. I'll give you guys a few minutes to settle in," Chloe said, giving them both a smile and humming on her way back to the kitchen, reminding Jesse somewhat of a carefree bumblebee. Beca, on the other hand, pushed her way through the doorway and dropped her bag on the floor just inside, flopping on the bed.
Jesse moved to the opposite side and placed his own belongings down. "I know this morning has been hard, but you could at least hide the mood from Chloe a bit more," he suggested mildly.
"Wow, I'm sorry my mood is so inconvenient to the both of you," Beca muttered acidly.
Without even looking at him, she could feel him tense. She buried her head in the pillow and almost growled. All she wanted was a little peace so she could figure herself out, because right now, she felt confused, angry, and tangled up in her problems.
"Okay. I'll leave you alone," Jesse murmured, getting up once more and going back out into the living area, where Chloe was chewing nervously on her thumb on the couch. She looked at him, a frown deepening creases in her brow.
"I knew she sounded weird on the phone, and that this little trip was spontaneous, but something's up. Am I right?" she asked.
"Give the girl a prize," Jesse teased half-heartedly. He dropped down next to her. He had always liked Chloe. She, apart from Beca, had been one of the few Bella's to treat the Treblemakers normally, like they were people and not mere rivals. She had chatted with him occasionally – because that's who she was. Bubbly and unjudging.
Chloe turned towards him and asked quietly, "Is there anything I can do? With whatever is going on?"
Jesse was glad that she knew Beca well enough to know that Beca would come clean with whatever problem in her own time. So he advised, "Just act normal. Do the stuff that you said we'd do. Just…be her friend."
"That's easy. I'm more concerned about you," Chloe said.
"Me?"
"Yeah, you. You're the one closest to her right now, and I don't want a repeat of the past year." The redhead closed her eyes and let out a breath. "I want Beca happy. You make her happy. She pulled us together, and I will never be able to thank her enough for that. But I still don't know what makes her tick, and I think you do. So that makes me, as friend to Beca, responsible for making sure you are both okay."
"Thanks, then," said Jesse.
Chloe slung an arm around him to give him a brief squeeze. "I know your relationship is new and all, so whatever is going on with Beca, I want to ease the burden a little, you know, so that way if you feel like you're getting a little overwhelmed…" she explained.
Jesse hugged her in return, grateful that they had come here.
Beca, meanwhile, wished that she had no emotions whatsoever.
Because they were doing funny things with her heart, mind, and even her stomach. She was this great big pent up ball of emotion with no safe way to channel it out of her without hurting the people around. Her stomach was tight with anxiety, almost like she was going to puke up what little breakfast was in there. She had a headache and every thought was too hard to even think. As for her heart…well, at least it was confirmed she had one, for it was beating with heartbreak.
It was the shittiest feeling in the world to know your mother didn't love you enough.
So much for 'unconditional' love.
Beca scoffed. Maybe that was why, before meeting Jesse, she didn't believe in love, as such. Love had been a fable, a wish, a dream. She had never experienced it since her parents' divorce, so she didn't have real cause to believe it. Love had been for idealists.
Not anymore. She did love her father even through the misunderstanding that he had wronged both her and her mum. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have gone to him for advice. She did (or had? She was too muddled up to make sense of it) love her mother – the separation, the final straw, wouldn't have hurt so bad that she didn't.
As for Jesse…
She wished that he hadn't been there to see the whole dirty business and arguments. But at the same time, it had felt so unbelievably good to know, for certain, that someone she cared about not only cared about her in return, but was solidly in her corner. He had stuck up for her. Again. This time, she didn't bite his head off. If nothing, she loved him for the fact he didn't abandon her. She was surprised he didn't run or shy away from the conflict (considering things had only been 'official' for less than three months) and it only increased her respect for Jesse as a man. He had been so attentive, so sweet, so level-headed that she was almost ashamed of her own instability. Not that he was perfect himself, he did have flaws, which Beca appreciated. It was just that…
Beca sighed harshly and flung herself onto her back, glaring up at the ceiling as if it was the core of all her problems.
She didn't know what to do with the information. While it readily slipped out that she 'loved her awesome nerds,' the Bella's, she knew she definitely wasn't ready to tell Jesse the true depth of feeling she had for him. Besides, the word 'love' was so…it sounded clingy and committed. It sounded too serious for what was her first real relationship with a guy.
'But you've liked him for almost a year. Don't lie, it's not like you've just met,' she thought.
Then, to top all these things off, she was angry with herself. Angry that she hadn't done more to protect Jesse from Vicki. Angry that her efforts to have some peace between them hadn't worked out, and now she was intruding on Chloe until she and Jesse went to North Carolina, where she would be a hindrance to his time with his family. And all in all, she was pissed off that this all had to happen in the first place.
She would deal with the urge to cry about it later. Right now, Beca felt the poison of negativity coursing through her. She had to get rid of it enough so she wouldn't snap at Chloe and Jesse when they treated her with kindness when she got defensive.
"Get it together, Beca. Get it together," she whispered to herself.
It almost seemed impossible until she heard Jesse and Chloe singing.
They must have been talking and gotten onto the topic of music and ended up singing. Chloe was providing the bass line while Jesse was singing the tune, a song Beca didn't recognise. Whatever it was, it was soothing. Unexpectedly, their melded tones calmed Beca's raging emotions so much that her eyes closed, she relaxed, and she slipped away into sleep.
A little while later, when her friends went to check on Beca, they had shared a smile over her sleeping position, spread eagled on the bed with a faint smile on her face.
A/N: Another shorter chapter, but I think Beca and Jesse need a day of nothing but chilling out before Chloe drags them all over town. What do you think? I feel like Beca's got a lot of things to think about right now, so I hope I conveyed that.
