Author's Note: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 61
Tanya looked nervous. She was sitting in front of me, her fingers squirming anxiously while I ignored her for the moment, studying her hospital record.
I paused at the date of her first abortion, which had been taken place eight years ago. I felt my chest tighten at the possibility.
"So you really had three abortions," I said curtly, trying to keep my emotions in checks. I didn't care anymore, I chanted to myself silently. I don't care. It doesn't matter. Still, I had to ask.
Tanya nodded, still unable to meet my eyes.
"The first one was eight years ago," I said, swallowing hard.
She paused, looking frightened suddenly.
I stared at her. "Was it his?"
Her eyes lit up, and she met my eyes, abruptly desperate. "No."
"Don't lie to me!" I said, unable to control my anger.
"I'm not, I swear!" Tanya pleaded. "You have to believe me on this. I know it says there that it was eight years ago, and I'm sure you remember the exact date to compare with it. It might seem like it was his, but it was all coincidental."
I glared at her, breathing fast. I didn't believe her.
"I swear!" she said. She hung her head. "I got pregnant in jail. It was an accident that time. The guy was drunk, and he saw me, and…" She sighed heavily.
I didn't know if I should believe her. "The police were there-"
"They were too late," Tanya interrupted. "So I ended up getting pregnant, and they took me out of jail long enough to get an abortion. I didn't want it, naturally."
I exhaled slowly, still glowering.
"I swear, Bella," she said. "It wasn't…E-Edward's."
My eyes flashed. How dare she speak his name?
"Believe me," Tanya tried to persuade me. "It's true that he slept with me once or twice that time. But he always insisted on protection. I guess he…some part of him was still trying to tell him that what he was doing was wrong. You have to trust him on that. I swear, it wasn't his child."
I pursed my lips. "Fine." I turned back to the computer. "You do know that too many abortions aren't good for you, right?"
"I know, I know."
I looked back at her sternly. "Not just health-wise, Denali. Morally as well. Don't you know society ethics?"
She looked taken aback. "Sure."
I stared at her strangely. "What happened to talking back?"
She blinked. "What?"
"If I remember correctly, and I do, you talked back to me like you did nothing wrong. Like you were better than I was."
Tanya bit her lip. "I was young. I was naïve and overconfident. I guess I was sure that he would stick to me. I seriously thought that I could persuade him to leave you. But I think I chose the wrong guy." She smiled bitterly. "The wrong guy who had a strong woman by his side already."
She had the conscience to look guilty. "I'm really sorry. I know sorry doesn't cover it. But I never apologized to you, when I should've been the first one to do that. I'm sorry I ruined your marriage, your future. And…" Tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry I killed your baby."
My nose burned, and the pain in my chest tightened. My phantom nudges in my stomach kicked me once or twice as tears filled in my eyes. I looked away, trying to stop.
"I realize now how much I must have hurt you," she continued. "I know the feeling of the baby inside of you, and as much as you probably won't believe it, I feel horrible every time I get an abortion. I wish…I wish I could keep it…and yet, I don't have the confidence."
For the first time, pity rose in me. My heart went out to her. She really had gone through so much because of a simple decision she'd made to steal away my husband.
No, I told myself firmly. Stop sympathizing. She doesn't deserve it. She committed a grave sin against you. You're supposed to be mean to her!
I took a deep breath to settle myself.
She peeked at me nervously. "You know what, Bella?" Her hand rested on her stomach gently. She swallowed. "This time, I really considered keeping it."
That caught my attention. Tanya Denali, a responsible mother?
I raised my eyebrow, my tears having disappeared successfully without me wiping them away. "Oh?"
She looked pained. "Don't be like that. I'm sure you can relate to me, having been where I am before."
My chin came up. "I've always wanted my child. Even if Edward had cheated on me."
"I know, because you loved him. But maybe…maybe I still love him too." She sniffed. "He was so good to me. And he told me that I could be his wife. He was a guy who played around, but…he thought, with me, he could finally settle down."
I frowned slightly. "Who are we talking about?"
"My ex. The child's father."
I turned back to my computer coolly. "That's none of my business. Deal with your love life on your own, Denali."
"Please, Bella," she said softly. "I know we have bad history, but I need advice from someone who's been there."
I blew out a sigh quickly. "Well, I was married at the time; all I had to do was divorce him. So…unless you're married too-"
"Edward asked you for a second chance!" she burst out.
I stopped abruptly as her words sent another slash through my chest.
"But my ex didn't." She was crying now. "He told me to get rid of the baby. He said we were over. He walked out as soon as he found out that I was pregnant."
"Stop crying," I said stiffly. "You're getting on my nerves."
"How could men do that?" Tanya mumbled. "They're such pigs."
I leaned back in my chair, sighing wearily. "Have you thought about going through therapy? You could tell your therapist all this, instead of pouring out your words on me. I'm a gynecologist, not a psychologist."
She made a face. "I'm not mental!"
"Close enough," I murmured quietly to myself.
"Please listen, okay? I just need someone to listen."
I closed my eyes and crossed my arms. "I'm all ears," I said sarcastically.
"He's from a rich family. His family owns a huge company and he's the heir. I met him at a restaurant, where I work. He was so charming and handsome…so funny and intelligent. He was nothing like the men I'd gone out with after I was released from jail. He didn't even care that I had a record."
I opened my eyes. He sounded like a nice guy. Why in the world, then, would he walk out on her just because he'd found out that she was pregnant? Was it the responsibility and pressure that would arise? Didn't he want to marry her? Had those been empty words?
"And then, he broke up with me about a month or so ago. I guess he didn't want to become a father so soon." She sighed sadly. "But I still love him. I miss him."
A rich guy? Famous company? "Do I know him?"
"You might. You're rich too."
I cocked my head, waiting.
"Black," Tanya said, wiping away her tears. "Jacob Black."
My eyes widened, and I froze in place, shocked. My breath came out in a whoosh, and I stared at her like I'd seen a ghost.
"What?" Tanya asked, alarmed. "What? What?"
"You're…kidding," I said finally, after a long moment. "You're joking. You're toying with me."
"What? No, I'm not. I think I would know his name, unless he was lying to me, which I know he wasn't because I saw him on TV numerous times."
I buried my face in my hands. "My God. That's freaky."
What was it with fate? First, Tanya interfered between Edward and me, causing us to break apart. Now, I had practically come in between Tanya and Jacob, and though it wasn't my fault that they had broken apart, it made me the bad guy as well. I didn't want to repeat history.
"God," I groaned. "I knew this was a bad idea."
"What is it?" Tanya asked. "Tell me. Is it about Jacob?"
I stared at her as though I was seeing her for the first time. "Jeez. I'm breaking up with him tonight."
Tanya looked just about ready to explode from curiosity and frustration. "God! Just tell me!"
I sighed wearily. "My life sucks. I've been going out with Jacob Black for like, a week now."
"What?" Tanya looked shocked. "You're serious?"
I nodded slowly. "I met him first at the New Year's party. He asked me out, and even though I don't date, I said yes, just so I can get back at Edward." I shook my head exasperatedly. "I didn't know this would make such a huge conflict." I looked at her, then looked away. "I'm sorry."
Tanya looked hurt. "That jerk asked another girl out? He didn't even think about me, huh? He was just going to ignore me? His baby?" She looked angry. "Bella, he's a bastard. Break up with him."
I looked at her, amused now. "So you can snag him back? Don't worry, I didn't want to get involved with Jacob anymore anyways."
Tanya pursed her lips. "I'm not that selfish. It's just…you've hurt enough already. And I don't want you to have anything more to torment me with."
For a moment, we glared at each other.
Huffing, I broke the silence and snapped, "Are you going to have an abortion or not?"
Tanya hesitated, then rose to her feet. "I'd like time to think about it some more. I'll call you and let you know my decision. Do you have a card?"
My eyes narrowed before I handed her my card. She snatched it from me, then flounced out of the room.
God. What was it with people? And what was it with my life? It sucked so much.
Tanya called and made an appointment that very night. I told her to come after noon tomorrow, and she agreed.
Finally, I made a call to Jacob Black, who greeted me cheerily. "What's up, Bella?"
"Jacob," I said matter-of-factly. "I know I agreed to be your dating partner, but I think I'm going to have to take that back."
"What? Why?" He sounded so shocked. So innocent.
I wasn't angry with him for trying to fool me. I probably wasn't very angry with Tanya anymore either, though that didn't mean I wasn't annoyed with her. I was just so tired of hating people who had ruined my lives. I was so tired. What was the point anymore? It was all over now.
"Do you have another guy or something?" Jacob asked.
I rolled my eyes. I would rather shoot myself than date ever again. "No, it's not that. I…" Shoot. I had no suitable excuse.
At that moment, there were two beeps, telling me that I had another call waiting for me. "Look, Jacob, I have to go. It's just that I'm so busy with my work, I don't have time for dating. And, while it was fun with you on Saturday, I just don't think you're right for me. I'm sorry."
I hung up quickly before he could protest, and switched over to the next call. "Bella Swan."
"Hello, Bella Swan," my brother's voice said. "How's everything?"
"Okay. Why'd you call?"
It sounded like he was pouting. "What, I can't call my own sister?"
I laughed. "It's not like that, Jasper."
"I called to tell you to come over. We're having dinner in about an hour, so you've still got time to get here."
"Where, Mom and Dad's place?"
"No," Jasper answered. "Cullens'."
My expression soured. "No, thanks. I've had enough of the Cullens right now. Is Alice still aware that I'm pissed at her for ruining my date?"
"She knows perfectly well. Rose wants to see you too. And-"
"If Edward is going to be there, I'm not coming."
"He's not," Jasper replied. "Alice called him to invite him, but he said he had a lot of paperwork to look over. And Bella, Esme created a ton of food. You're going to regret it if you don't come. Your choice. Dinner starts at seven-thirty." He hung up on me, leaving me fuming.
"How dare he," I mumbled, rising from my armchair and heading toward the closet. "He hung up on me first?"
If Edward wasn't going to be there, there was no reason for me to miss out on Esme's superb cooking.
"Knock, knock!" I sang softly as I peeked into the kitchen.
Sure enough, everyone was there, and they all erupted in loud voices as they all greeted me warmly.
"Hey, there, stranger," Emmett said cheerfully as he gave me a hug. "How's Rollie?"
"He wanted to stay home, so I left him."
"Aw! I wanted to play with him!"
"Hey, Jazz," I greeted my brother, ignoring his hug invitation and reaching around him to steal a baby carrot.
"You're not going to give me a hug?"
I laughed. "You and I are big adults now. I think I'm good."
Alice cleared her throat pointedly. She was obviously waiting for me to greet her just as warmly, but I ignored her and moved onto Rosalie instead. "Hi, Rosalie."
Rosalie grinned. "Hey, Bella. How's work?"
I swallowed my bite. "Dead slow."
"Hem," Alice cleared her throat loudly. "Hem!"
Jasper chuckled at his wife's immaturity. "Bella, someone's been dying to see you."
"Yeah?" I asked pointedly, reaching around him to grab another carrot.
Renee slapped my hand away, frowning. "They're for dinner. Leave them alone."
I huffed. "Is it such a crime that I'm hungry?"
"Bella!" Alice burst out. "Aren't you going to say hi to me?"
I looked at her. "Do I have to?"
She slapped my arm, making me laugh playfully. "Isabella! That's not funny!"
"I'm still mad at you, Alice," I said, mockingly severe. "I'm not sure I'm going to forgive you so easily."
She rolled her eyes. "You're better off without Jacob Black, Bella. Can you break up with him, like, right away?"
The kitchen door opened again, and I froze and stared in disbelief at the unexpected sight that greeted me.
"Hi, everyone," Edward said wearily, slipping inside and closing the door. He must have stopped by his house and cleaned up before he came because he was wearing a casual attire and smelled like his fresh scent.
"Edward!" Emmett said, sounding startled. "We thought you couldn't come." He glanced at my glowering face nervously.
"I finished the paperwork earlier than I thought," Edward answered, shaking hands with Charlie and hugging Rosalie briefly in greeting. "I thought I'd stop by for dinner."
His gaze fell on my deadly face. "What's wrong?"
I looked away and looked at Jasper pointedly. "Jasper. My dear brother."
Jasper gulped. "How was I supposed to know he was going to come?"
I continued to stare at him, sending him a silent message: You're so going to regret it.
"Bella, you didn't answer my question," Alice said in an annoying I'm-waiting-for-your-answer tone.
I sighed in resignation. "What was your question again?" I had forgotten, due to the unexpected appearance. Would it be too late to escape? I wondered to myself.
"I asked if you can break it off with Jacob Black!" Alice said loudly, shooting Edward a look.
Edward shot her a look as well, telling her to shut up.
I tried not to be irked as I replied, "I already did."
There was a moment of surprised silence before Alice grabbed my hand, her eyes shining brightly. "Seriously? You did? When? What did you tell him? You really did it? Why? Did he cheat on you or something? Did he have another girlfriend hiding somewhere?"
I shoved her off, annoyed. How did she know that? "I wanted to."
"You don't break up with someone without a good reason," Jasper said suspiciously. "Why did you break up with him? I thought you had a good time?"
I shrugged. "I told you. I-" My eyes fell on Edward, who looked politely curious. "We had an interesting patient today."
"Bella, don't change the subject," Jasper said sternly. "We're asking you a question."
"Don't you want to know who the patient was, Carlisle?" I asked smoothly, successfully stealing a cucumber this time.
Carlisle looked startled. "Of course, Bella. What kind of patient was she?"
"She's had three abortions in eight years," I said casually. "Interesting, right? She came today to get a fourth one. Quite irresponsible, actually."
Esme looked downright shocked. "That's wrong!"
"Oh, I wouldn't sound so surprised, Esme," I said. "I didn't really expect that much from her in the first place anyway."
"Why, Bella," Renee said. "That's a rude thing to say to anybody. How can you-"
"It seems that Tanya caused some trouble again," I said, speaking loudly and calmly. "With Jacob Black."
Double shock. I could feel it running through each person in the kitchen.
I looked back at Edward, who looked like he'd seen a ghost. He couldn't look away from him. He was turning pale.
"I took her in as my patient," I continued, watching his eyes widen. "I thought it would be nice to revisit history."
AN: Ouch. What a blow that must have been for Edward. Reviews?
