Fingers in hair, tongues, lips teeth. Muscles straining hip bones grinding, with some pain but good pain. It all overwhelms the senses. I feel him above me but my head is so dizzy and clouded I feel like I am higher then I have ever been before. I am over come and suddenly I go limp. Not just there but everywhere. My lifting legs go slack, my arms fall to the mattress and my mouth goes slack. All I see is darkness, I feel the cool air across my chest and thighs. I knew it was to good to be true. I knew it was all just a trick my mind was playing. I wait for the ceiling to come into focus and the sterile smell to seep in my nose. It was the most believable delusion I had ever had but it told me I had hit the big drugs this time.

There wasn't many I hadn't tried and I want to know what combo it was this time because, frankly this time I want to take it to the end. I have never been so happy in a trip before and I want to ride that one out. This coming down was so heartbreaking I don't want to face any therapy, there is no sort of rehab for it. Nope this is it. The end. I start to try and my my senses come to life, I try to bring my right mind about to plan an out so I can find who I was with and what I did. Yup this was it, checking out time.

I hear foot steps, the soft kind, probably a nurse with the squishy shoes. The ones they wear that don't squeak or thud so they don't freak out or startle us loonies. There is talking in hush tones. A conversation for sure but only a hushed monotone voice comes through.

I wish I wasn't here, I wish they had left me on what ever floor I had been on. I would have been in what ever place I had been and I would have gone happy. His mouth on me. His flesh under my fingers. Finally skin to skin. I had so many hopes in my delusion, so many dreams. Now I am here again to play the part so I can get out and do it again. Now just to remember where I got what it was.

A cold something or another touches my forehead and I flinch. From the place on the temple I am sure it is another cut or scrap I have and they are tending to the beast before I am fully alert. Pretty standard since I am sure my records reflect how I am when they approach me fully alert and itching.

I just lay there though. Focus still not registered, still blurs of lights and shadows. I just let what ever happens, happen. I won't fight this time. I will just wait it out. Play nice and get out so I can at least try and find my way back to him in some state.

A/N: I survived my 20th! Okay and then hubby's bday dinner, now I am back at it. Don't hate here. I want to leave a finally cliffy before the last couple chapters. Kisses! Loves? I have been duel writing tonight with this and Blame it so I am only sure to post this tonight more tomorrow!