Author's Note: Go ahead. Read on.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 67
"When are you coming back?" my professor whined on the other end. "I miss you. We all do. It's been months since you even called, Bella."
I tapped my finger impatiently on the desk. "I know, and I'm sorry. I was going to come back a couple days ago, but you have no idea how stubborn my family is. So now, I'm kind of being held against my will."
"Oh," she said, chuckling. "Alrighty, then."
She thought I was kidding, no doubt. "No, I'm not joking. I'm literally being held against my will."
"Do you want me to call the cops?" Okay, now, she was taking it too literal.
"No," I sighed. "I'll be fine. I'm just lucky they don't tie me up and cover my mouth with duct tape and keep me under house arrest."
She laughed. "Okay. Well, call me as soon as you can come back."
"Will do. Bye, professor. Give Sharon my love."
"Will do," she echoed me. "Bye, dear."
Just as I placed the phone back on the receiver, Tanya walked in, looking like she had been crying. She plopped down on the chair in front of me, rubbing her bloodshot eyes.
"Tanya," I said, exasperated. "You cannot come here without an appointment. Our session was supposed to be next week. Besides, my shift is done, so I'm out of here."
I got up from the chair and exchanged my lab coat for my gray-white cardigan. Tanya shook her head. "I know. And that's perfectly fine, because that's what I wanted. I want you to go somewhere with me."
"I'm not your private psychologist," I said, sliding my phone into my purse. "I'm afraid you can't hire me."
"Then go as my friend!"
I paused. "Friend?" My eyebrow was raised.
"Yes, I regard you as a friend, Bella," Tanya said, exasperated. "I know you don't 'cause you obviously still have a grudge on me for killing your baby, but you've helped me so much the last few weeks. I can't hate you for ruining my family's reputation and sending me to jail."
"I didn't do those things," I pointed out. "You ruined your own family's reputation, and Edward was the one who sent you to jail. Like the hypocrite he was," I added under my breath.
Tanya looked impatient. "Okay, okay. But anyway, will you come?"
I thought about Rollie, who needed to be taken to the vet today. On the other hand, my patients came first, and Tanya looked desperate. "Exactly where are we going?"
Tanya sighed in relief. "Thanks, Bella." She gestured for me to follow, and together, we walked out of the office and toward the nurse's station. She waited while I signed myself out, then clutched her showing stomach nervously as we headed out of the hospital.
"Where are we going?" I asked again as we slid into my car.
"I thought you could help me convince Jacob," Tanya said breathlessly.
I turned my entire body to look at her and yelled, "What?"
She winced. "Ow. Look, I'm sorry, but hasn't he been calling you?"
Yes, he'd been calling me. "No."
"Liar. He's obviously willing to listen to you, because he actually did fall in love with you." She huffed, indignant. "There's just something about you that just attracts men. I envy that. I can't even get the one man that I want."
"Edward?" I said flatly.
"No. That wasn't official. I was just playing around, and I just happened to mess up big time."
"You say it like it was nothing." I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.
She sighed. "Sorry. But Jacob is the one I want."
"Why? He knocked you up, then kicked you away because he didn't want to take responsibility."
"I know. And I feel completely stupid and pathetic for loving someone like him, who happens to love some other girl at the moment, but hey. My baby needs a father."
I looked at her when I stopped at a red light. "So you've decided to keep it?"
Tanya nodded slowly, looking determined. "This is his child. I want it really badly. I know that doesn't make any sense, but..."
"I get it," I said softly. "I felt that way too."
She glanced at me. "He'll be at the park, doing some charity thing. Picnic, was it?"
"And are you sure you want to wreck that?"
"I'm sure."
I parked on the curb in front of the park, then pulled out my phone. I hit speed dial number four and held the phone to my ear.
"You aren't calling Jacob, are you?" Tanya asked. "I want him to be surprised."
I shook my head. "Alice? You busy?"
"No," Alice said slowly on the other end. "Why? So you can reject my brother again? Using me, this time?"
I exhaled sharply. "How would I possibly do that?"
"Edward told me that you rejected him again when he told you about his feelings. How could you?"
"I didn't call you to listen to you rant about Edward," I growled, and Tanya glanced at me quickly. "I need help."
"With boys?" Alice asked dryly. "Are you seeing Jacob again? Because, then, I refuse to help you."
"No, just listen. Rollie has to be taken to the vet today, but something came up, and I can't go. Will you go instead? His appointment is in an hour."
"Oh, my God," Alice said, sounding like she'd swallowed a lemon. "Seriously? This is about your dog? Don't you have bigger problems, like, um, Edward?"
"Right now, I have way bigger problems because my patient has dragged me to Central Park to try to convince her boyfriend to help her with her baby. Do you want to guess who that is?"
Alice was silent. Finally, she said, "I don't want to know about that Denali girl. But okay. I'll take Rolls to the vet."
"Thanks, Alice." I felt guilty as I slid my phone into my pocket. It wasn't fair of me to ask her favors when I refused to listen to her about her brother.
But Edward was right. This was between us. No one could interfere. And quite frankly, everyone's attention and interference was driving me insane. It was annoying.
"You have a dog?" Tanya asked as we got out from my car.
I grunted in response. She led me through the green grass, towards a huge crowd that was surrounded by colorful balloons and refreshment stands.
"Since when?"
"Since I came back to New York. It was a Christmas present."
"Wow," Tanya said mildly, impressed. "Huge present. Who gave it to you, your brother?"
"No," I said, feeling sick at the topic. "The Cullen siblings."
"Oh." Tanya looked abruptly abashed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up..." After a moment, she said, "What breed?"
"Golden Retriever."
"Those things are expensive," Tanya commented. "Good present. Baby?"
"He's huge now."
"Why Rollie?"
"Because he likes rolling around."
"How cute."
"Mm."
We stopped under a big tree. They had set up a huge stage at the center of the event. I saw Billy Black making some speech on the microphone, but Jacob was nowhere in sight.
"Are you sure he's here?" I asked doubtfully.
"I know where he is," Tanya said darkly. "Wait here. I'll go find him." She disappeared into the crowd, making sure to close her open cardigan manually to hide her baby bump. I admired the action. Tanya really did care about Jacob, which made her care about his reputation as well. If people found out that Jacob Black had gotten some girl knocked up and refused to take responsibility...
I waited for a full ten minutes. I began to get worried. What if Jacob had hurt her? From the way Tanya had talked about their situation, Jacob was getting increasingly frustrated at her refusal to get an abortion. What if he decided to handle the situation and kill the baby himself?
I stepped out from under the tree, and, trying to keep a low profile, I made my way to the back of the stage. I arrived just in time to see Jacob dragging Tanya away from the event, his expression angry.
I had no love for Tanya Denali, but she was currently a mother with a child inside her. My protective instincts shot up. Quietly, I trailed after them.
They stopped under a tree. I leaned behind a tree trunk that was a few feet away to eavesdrop.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Jacob asked. "Are you insane? Are you trying to ruin my reputation?"
"Of course not," Tanya said, sounding offended. "Why do you think I'm covering my stomach with my arms? Idiot," she muttered.
"Why are you not getting rid of the thing?" Jacob hissed. "You've let it go on too far. Now you're showing a bump?" He sounded pissed. "Don't make me drag you to the hospital myself, Tanya."
"I've made up my mind, Jake," Tanya said. "I'm going to keep the baby. I've had one too many abortions before, and this one, I want it. It's yours, Jacob. And I want you. It's the only way I can claim you as mine."
"You sound like some hopeless romantic," Jacob snapped. "I told you, we're over. I already love someone else-"
"Bella Swan again?" Tanya said, sounding hurt. "You know she and I have a history. Why does it have to be her, of all people?"
I stared blankly at the grass, listening to every word. I'd known that Tanya couldn't have liked me as much as I liked her. And now, I was hearing it.
I understood, though. I wasn't offended. Tanya deserved love in her life, after everything that had happened to her with Edward and me. After all her playing ways and abortions. She wanted to change, and she was trying to. And it didn't seem fair to me either that the person she loved liked her enemy instead.
"Don't talk crap about her, Tanya," Jacob said. "She's a wonderful person. It's probably because of you that she won't talk to me. You're the bad luck."
"She has someone else," Tanya said, gritting her teeth. "She has-"
"Edward Cullen?" Jacob sneered. "They're over, Tanya. They divorced, what, eight years ago? Nine?"
"They'll get back together."
"You haven't even seen either of them for nine years, T," Jacob snapped. "So how would you tell? I've seen how they act around each other; it's impossible for them. Cullen should just give up."
I realized with a start that Tanya had never told Jacob that I was her gynecologist. He didn't know that I'd been speaking with Tanya.
"Stop it, Jacob," Tanya said wearily. "They deserve each other."
He barked out a laugh. "Says the person who broke them apart in the first place."
"That was a mistake," she said. "I was young, naïve. I saw Edward Cullen, and I just couldn't help myself."
"You knew he was married." Jacob sounded angry, and I thought I detected jealousy in his tone as well. Hope was still there, after all.
"I did," Tanya replied. "But I was blinded by the possibility of money and fame, and a handsome guy for a possible husband. I was stupid to think I could take him away from Bella. I never could've done it."
"He was a stupid weakling," Jacob said. "He fell for you."
"No, he didn't," Tanya said sharply. "He may have been confused for some time, but he loved Bella. He's never stopped loving her, even when he was with me. I know, I could always tell. Why do you think he's so persistent in getting her back? It's been nine freaking years since they've separated. How many couples do you know that have been separated for that long and the guy still wants her back? He can't give her up. They're meant to be. So I don't know why you're being so stubborn about Bella. She told you that you guys aren't going to work out. Have you ever thought that maybe she's wavering too? She probably wants Edward back as well."
I felt bemused. Tanya obviously knew I was nearby, listening. Was she saying this on purpose to change my mind about Edward? What did she know about our situation?
"She's the most kindest woman I've ever met," Jacob said, and though he sounded angry, I detected sincerity. "She's beautiful, funny, and intelligent. She's spent her entire life trying to justify everything. Like you said, I can tell that she still loves Cullen. But she divorced him because it was the right thing to do. It nearly killed her. I love that about her. Her determination to see everything through...it pulls me in."
That was a horrible thing to say to a woman who was carrying his baby. I was angered.
"Jacob Black," Tanya said, sounding angry now. "It's me. Tanya Denali is the one carrying your child, not Bella Swan." Her voice broke. "Come back to me. Please."
"I don't know who was stupid enough to convince you to keep the baby," Jacob said dangerously. "But they're going to answer to me. And then, you're getting rid of the thing."
"It's not a thing!" Tanya burst out. "It's life, Jacob. It breathes. You idiot, it's got you in it!"
"Who the hell was it?" Jacob growled. "Who planted the stupid idea in your head? Was it your gynecologist? Are you seeing some psycho, T?"
"Don't say that," Tanya said in a sudden, deadly quiet voice. "She's helped me so much. While you were hitting on another girl, she helped me to justify my thinking. She was there when you should've been. Don't you dare insult her."
I felt my heart go out to the girl. She didn't like me because of our history and Jacob, but she was still defending my honor. And I should be doing that too.
"Do I look like I care about someone who helped you with the thing?" Jacob snapped. "Who is it?"
"I would be careful about what you say about other people, Jacob Black," I said in a calm, dangerous voice. I stepped out from behind the tree and stared at a shocked Jacob. "It's rude, and you never know when they might be listening."
Tanya didn't look surprised to see me, confirming my suspicion from earlier. She had really been saying them to try to make me see about Edward's sincerity. Not that I doubted it any longer.
"B-Bella," Jacob stammered. "What are you doing here?"
I walked toward them slowly. "Why do you think I'm here? I'm trying to stop a crazy man from harassing his girlfriend."
"Ex-girlfriend," he said, fear showing on his face. He really didn't know about anything, did he? He thought that if I knew that Tanya Denali was his girlfriend, he wouldn't have a chance with him.
"It doesn't matter," I said smoothly, reaching Tanya's side. "Because this woman is carrying your child, and she wants to keep it. You must take responsibility, Jacob. The extent of your ignorance would be huge, wouldn't it? After all...you're a businessman. That couldn't be good for your company."
"I don't want it, Bella," Jacob said, pleading now. "I don't want her, either. I want to be with you. Please, I-"
"You really are blind, aren't you?" I said mildly. "Why do you think I broke off our relationship in the first place? I knew that it wasn't right. Tanya told me about your relationship with her, and that the child's father was you. How could I possibly take you away?" I smiled grimly at the inside joke. I'd never wanted Jacob Black.
"But you convinced Tanya..." Jacob looked confused. He was no doubt thinking that I'd wanted him too. No. Way.
"I did convince Tanya not to give up the baby," I said. Pain flashed across my face. "I know what it's like to lose a baby while it's still inside you."
Jacob gulped. Tanya winced as she recalled our past history. The guilty person who had pushed me down those stairs... I suppressed a shudder.
"Although I didn't want to because of our history, I couldn't deny Tanya the help she needed. She was alone, Jacob. And she had a child inside her. I can relate to that as well. All through my own pregnancy, I was alone, suffering. I didn't want her to experience what I had. She'd done wrong to me, yes, but that doesn't mean that she deserves it back. Perhaps she does." I smiled. "But I chose not to punish her in my own way. I've decided to forget the past and live in the present. That's better for all of us.
"I want you to be there for her, Jacob." I looked at him seriously. "You shouldn't be going after me, you should be staying with someone who really needs you."
"You need someone too, Bella," Jacob said.
I shook my head. "Tanya needs you more. As for me...I can handle myself."
Jacob turned to Tanya. "Did you lie to me? How come you didn't tell me that you were seeing her? Talking to her?"
"You didn't care about the baby," Tanya said stoutly. "You didn't want to hear anything about it. So naturally, I couldn't tell you about my gynecologist."
Jacob was shocked again. "That's just...messed up."
"After our history, yes, it's a bit surprising that I took her in as my patient," I said dryly. "But history or not, I'm someone who should be there to help my patients. Which is why I'm here today."
Jacob glared at her. "So it really is your fault that I'm not with her right now."
"I'm glad she told me about you two," I cut in. "If you went ahead with your actions, history would've repeated itself. I would've been betrayed by another man, and you would've taken the place of Edward Cullen. And Tanya would've been in between us again. I don't want that. The first time hurt enough to last me a lifetime."
Jacob looked stunned. "I didn't..."
"You didn't think about that," I said. "I know you didn't. But it doesn't matter now, because I broke off everything with you." I paused, then added, "Don't feel too bad, Jacob. I broke it off because of you and Tanya, but also because I didn't want this. I was done with dating and marriage, but you were so persistent. But just because I am doesn't mean you should be. I want you to stay with Tanya and protect her, Jacob. It's the right thing to do for both of you."
Tanya had tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry..." she whispered. "I never meant to... I wasn't..." She took a deep breath. "I'll never be sorry enough."
I shook my head. "Just don't do it to anyone else, Tanya. No one deserves such a fate." I smiled bitterly. "One is enough."
Jacob looked resigned. "I know what I did was wrong. But I'm not ready for marriage, much less a baby."
"Well, get used to it," I told him. "And I would marry her as soon as possible if you don't want any trouble from the media."
Jacob sighed quietly. "You're right." He turned to Tanya. "I'm sorry, T. I didn't want to hurt you. I was just shocked and I got angry. I wasn't angry with you, I was mad at me for being so irresponsible, but that didn't give me the right to take it out on you." He smiled wanly. "Believe it or not, I do still love you."
Tanya's hand drifted to her lower abdomen. "Can I believe that?"
"Of course," Jacob said softly. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk. Will you forgive me?"
She began crying, and she stepped forward into his arms. I left them there and inconspicuously slipped out of sight. I was just reaching my car when I heard someone call my name.
I turned around just in time to brace myself for Tanya's totally unexpected hug. It was a good thing I'd had such good practice with these hugs because Alice did it all the time. "Whoa!"
"Thank you, Bella," Tanya whispered gratefully, hugging the life out of me. "Thank you so much." She pulled away, tears shining in her blue eyes. "I know I didn't deserve this. I know you shouldn't have done this for me. But...thank you. I owe you so much."
I stared at the girl in front of me. She was certainly a wreck, though she was on the mend now that she'd found her other half. My heart warmed considerably at her tearful, happy face, and I wondered if it really was in my nature to be kind to every person. Even those who didn't deserve it.
But Tanya did deserve it. She'd suffered because of me, even if I'd suffered more than she had because of her. There had been guilt in the bottom of my heart. I'd always thought she'd gone to jail because of me. I'd felt bad for ruining her family's reputation when they hadn't even done anything to me. I'd finally paid off my debt, and it was fine that I wasn't getting anything good in return. I didn't need anything, and it was enough that she'd decided to keep her child. That meant everything to someone like me, someone who had suffered through a harsh miscarriage.
I couldn't help but smile weakly at the girl. She was no longer my enemy nor a friend. Now, she'd always be a patient that I'd remember until the day I die. A patient that I'd had a history with.
I saw Jacob a few feet behind her, his hands in his pocket and smiling as he waited for her. My smile widened at that. It was good to know that, while I hadn't gotten my happy ending and never will, some other couple had, and I was glad that I'd helped them reach their happiness.
Hesitantly, I reached up and wiped away a tear from Tanya's cheek. "You don't owe me anything, Tanya." A half-sigh, half-amused chuckle escaped from my lips. "Consider your debt repaid."
Confusion flashed across her face. "But I didn't do anything. That's not fair. Compared to what you did for me-"
I shook my head. "You decided to keep your child. That's enough for me."
She looked pained. "I'm sorry, Bella. It doesn't seem right that I get to keep my child, and you didn't." She hung her head. "I'll always regret pushing you."
"Be happy," I told her. "You deserve it." I glanced at Jacob, who nodded at me in thanks. I smiled again. "You know you shouldn't run while that bump is out. You'll give Jacob a heart attack. He just decided to accept it, and you don't want to ruin that."
"No, I don't." Tanya laughed, wiping away her tears.
I winked and went around my car. I opened the door and called, "I'll see you next week. And if you don't come with her, Jacob, I might have to hunt you down again and kill you."
I heard his husky laugh. Tanya beamed. "I'll make sure to bring him. Drive safely, doc."
I nodded at them as I drove away. My thoughts drifted to Edward and his confession the other night. I sighed. I had given up on the possibility of a happy ending for me. Then why was I feeling so miserable, and actually hoping?
A police siren behind me made me jump and break out of my reverie. The cruiser was close behind my own car, and I frowned as I glanced at the rear view mirror. What was going on?
AN: Uh-oh! That's what she gets for thinking when she's supposed to be driving. Heh. Reviews?
