A/N: Well, Chapter 3 has the least reviews of any chapter so far. I assume this is a sign that some divine force disapproves of my angsty romance writing. So here's a lighter, funnier chapter.

Written from a tumblr prompt: "I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them AU".


"Lissa!" Chrom said loudly, trying to find a comfortable balance between high volume and social acceptability. "Lissa!? Are you there?"

Lissa was not there. Lissa wasn't dozing on a couch in the sofa section, bouncing on a bed in the mattress section, or even banging around pots and pans in the kitchen section. Lissa was gone and Chrom was hopelessly lost, surrounded by shelves and shelves of soap baskets and toilet seats."Why in the world would anyone need so many bathroom accessories?" he muttered. He turned a corner and was met with a barricade of garishly colored shower curtains.

Emmeryn is going to kill me, he thought. Then he changed his mind. No, Emmeryn won't kill me. She'll just sigh and look amused. Frederick. Frederick is going to kill me.

The thought of Death by Frederick was enough to spur Chrom into a light jog down the aisles. Frederick was technically their family's butler, and Chrom technically had the full ability to order around the older man as much as he wanted, but over the years Chrom's image of Frederick had become a mashed-up mix of father, older brother, and supreme household authority. Chrom liked him and feared him simultaneously.

Chrom reached the end of another aisle. Racks of towels stretched as far as the eye could see.

I'm probably going to die here, Chrom thought. He quickened his pace. Realistically, he knew that IKEA was probably as dangerous a place as a quiet, but large neighborhood where all the inhabitants are mildly obsessed with furniture, but if there was a way to get hurt in an IKEA, Lissa would probably find it. Maybe by climbing a shelf and falling off.

"Oh god, finally," he groaned. The end of the bathroom section was in sight. Chrom sped up, eager to finally leave behind the realm of toilet brushes and sponges—

He crashed straight into someone rounding a corner. The person yelped, stumbled, and dropped the box they were carrying. Small, wicker, round baskets scattered all over the floor.

"Ah, no! I'm sorry!" Chrom said frantically. He dropped to the ground and rushed to pick up the baskets, which were rolling all over the floor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Er, it's fine," said the girl he had crashed into. Chrom could feel her staring at him as he scrabbled around. Probably judging him.

"I'm sorry," he parroted dumbly, handing her the dropped baskets. "I—oh uh hi—"

Chrom clamped his mouth shut after 'hi', just in time to stop himself from saying, you're pretty.

She stared at him, then smiled. "It's fine," she said.

She has a nice voice, Chrom thought, then he thought: aaaaaggggh—

"My name's Chrom," he said automatically, then mentally smacked himself. Was that weird? Do people usually introduce themselves to IKEA workers? Probably not. Oh no.

Thankfully, the girl didn't seem to mind. "And my name's Robin," she said good-naturedly.

"Y-yeah, it says that on your name tag," he replied, gesturing at the round white pin on her shirt. Wait, was that rude? "Uh, wait, sorry, no. I mean—"

"It's fine, it's fine," she said, and laughed. Chrom felt something in the general vicinity of his stomach twist uncomfortably.

I NEED TO STOP, he thought frantically.

Robin began to place the baskets on a nearby shelf. "You were running awfully fast," she commented. "In a hurry?"

Chrom started. "Ah, yes!" he said, remembering. "I'm looking for—" the anxiety returned. "—Lissa! My sister, that is," he added hastily. "She has blonde hair in pigtails and she's wearing a yellow dress, and she's about as tall as you. And she has buttons in her hair. Have you seen her?"

Robin placed the last wicker basket down and turned to glance at Chrom quizzically. "Buttons?"

"Yeah. Uh. I think they're some sort of hair accessory," Chrom said. "They're about this big." he made a circle with his pointer finger and thumb.

Robin stared at him for a second, then set the box down resolutely and turned to face him. "Well, let's find her, then," she said.

"Let's?" Chrom asked.

"You seem a bit. Um." Robin vaguely gestured at him. "Anxious? I could help."

"A bit," Chrom admitted. "Oh—and thank you!"

"No problem," she said, lowering her voice and leaning towards him. "Look, to be honest, I'm supposed to be shelving more stuff right now and I'd really rather help you than organize soap baskets. I don't even know why anybody would need so many different kinds of soap baskets."

"I know!" Chrom said excitedly. "It's ridiculous." We are kindred spirits!

"So," Robin said, straightening up. "Got any idea of where she might head?"

Chrom paused. Until this moment he had been more preoccupied with finding his way out of the labyrinth that was the bathroom section than thinking of where Lissa might be. Think, Chrom, think! What does Lissa like? Not cooking or sewing or…

"Bean bags," he said triumphantly.

"Sorry?" Robin said.

"Oh—uh, Lissa was saying a while back that she wanted a couple bean bag chairs to put in her room."

"We have some in the children's section," Robin said.

The children's section contained sky blue curtains printed with a large orange dragon, a blue bed canopy shaped like a circus tent, and a heart cushion with arms. It did not contain Lissa.

"That is a pretty cool canopy," Chrom admitted. For a second he entertained thoughts of buying it and attaching it to his bed. Then he thought of the look on Frederick's face whenever Chrom was being particularly undignified (childish) and banished the thought from his mind.

Robin nudged aside a pile of ladybug pillows with her foot. "The heart cushion is a bit weird," she commented. "I don't think hearts should need arms."

"Maybe it's because you can hug it and it can hug you back," Chrom theorized. "You could use it if you didn't have anyone to hug."

"That's still weird and a bit depressing," Robin said. "And before you say 'sorry' again, it's fine. Where else would your sister be?"

Chrom thought hard.

"Bedspreads?" he suggested.

"I have never seen so many colors in one place," Chrom said.

Robin agreed. "It's like a paint factory exploded," she said, "and most of it ended up here."

Chrom rested his hand gingerly on one of the duvet covers on display. "It's got little animals on it," he said. "Look, that weasel's wearing a sweater."

"It's an otter," Robin said.

"Weasel."

"Whatever."

There was a pause.

"Do you see your sister?"

"No."

Chrom dug through his mental barrel of ideas regarding where Lissa would go in an IKEA. He was already scraping the bottom, although it hadn't been a very big barrel in the first place.

"Wait, wait no!" he said excitedly. "I remember! She might have gone off to buy a lamp."

Robin slowly turned her head toward him. "Is that a habit of hers?" she asked.

"Oh! Uh, no. I broke a couple of our lamps a few days ago." Chrom explained sheepishly.

"…is that a habit of yours?" Robin said.

"I like this one," Chrom said, hefting a white cylindrical lamp into the air. "Look, it has these cool little star patterns in the lampshade."

Robin glanced at the price tag. "And it can be yours for only seventy dollars!" she said cheerfully.

"…who pays seventy dollars for a lamp!?"

"This one's eighty dollars," Robin said, picking up a spindly little light with a small, round bulb. "Wireless charging and everything. I've come to a conclusion, by the way."

"What is it?"

"You're terrible at finding people."

"Hey now," Chrom protested, although he couldn't really think of a good counterargument. The uncomfortableness from before had disappeared, though; Robin was incredibly easy to be around.

Robin hmmed, tapping her fingers on the table absently."How long has it been since you got here?" she said.

"Uh. Two hours. At least," Chrom said, checking his watch. "Why?"

"I think I know where your sister might be," said Robin. "It's almost lunchtime."

"Chrooooooom," Lissa managed to say through a mouthful of meatballs, "What do you mean I got lost? You were the one who wandered off!"

"I absolutely did not!" Chrom protested, trying to keep his voice down. The cafeteria was crowded and people had begun to stare at them. He hoped there wasn't anyone he knew.

"Did too!" Lissa insisted, waving her fork for emphasis. "You said you were gonna check something out—then you were gone! You disappeared!"

"He got lost," Robin said. She sounded amused.

Lissa turned towards the dark-haired girl curiously. "Hi there!" she said. "Did you have to shepherd Chrom around? Sorry my brother's a moron."

"I seem to be saying this a lot around him," Robin replied, "but it's fine."

An appraising glint appeared in Lissa's eye. "Robin, hmm? You seem nice…"

"That's enough, Lissa," Chrom said quickly.

"Party pooper," Lissa snorted.

Robin coughed. "Well," she said, "it was fun, but I can hear rows of soap baskets calling my name. I better go."

"Wait—" Chrom paused. Is there even a way to say, 'Even though we just met over a bunch of IKEA products, I really want to spend more time with you'?

"I would like to—I mean, I want—agh—"

Lissa's eyes widened. Robin's eyes met his and she raised an eyebrow.

Chrom took a very deep breath. "Do you—do you want to, uh, hang out together? Not now, because you're busy now, but—later? In the future?"

I probably messed that up. Oh no.

Lissa's eyes were as wide as golf balls. The corners of Robin's mouth turned up. Chrom took that to be a positive sign and perked up slightly.

"Give me your hand," she said.

"Uh, okay," Chrom said. He held out his hand, palm up. Robin took hold of it with her own (her hands were quick and precise, he noted, probably from stacking baskets all day) and wrote a series of ten neat numbers on the back of his hand.

"Don't call me too early in the mornings," she said. "I like to sleep in."

"Okay!" Chrom agreed. "That's fine, it's fine."

Robin laughed. "Copycat," she said, flashing him a quick grin. "I'll be seeing you, then, Chrom."

"Bye." Chrom said softly.

Robin smiled again, then turned and walked away, out of the cafeteria and back into the endless labyrinth of aisles and furniture.

"Wow," Lissa said in disbelief. "I can't believe you just—"

"Shush," Chrom said. It was one in the afternoon and he hadn't eaten lunch, and he was standing in the middle of an IKEA grinning like a fool, but he hadn't been this ridiculously happy in a long while.


A/N: I have never worked in retail and it probably shows. Most of the IKEA products mentioned are actual products. My opinion regarding the canopy is similar to Chrom's.

Please review! I always love hearing feedback and it really does make me really happy, even if it's just a couple lines.