Right as I started to fall, I felt a tight grip on my hand. I wasn't falling anymore. That's when I realized I didn't want to die. I didn't want to go on my favourite bridge to jump off. But as we all know not all things go according to plan. I grip that hand back, even tighter than it's gripping mine. I figured it's Dan hand but you never know.
I feel myself being pulled up. Slowly. But surly. The second that my butt is back on the solid edge I feel myself being dragged off and pulled into a tight embrace.
"I don't want to lose you, Phil. I never want to lose you," I hear Dan say as he falls to his knees with me still in his arms. He cradles me close to his chest.
I feel his tears fall onto my head. I hear his gasps for air as he is trying to calm his racing heart. He is hurting and it's all my fault. I didn't realize I was crying until I saw the tear droplets on my hand. Seeing the tears made me cry harder and harder. It made me realize what I almost did. What I almost lost. If Dan wouldn't have saved me, I would have lost him. And that's the last thing I would ever want.
I need to think about what that would have done to Dan. It would have killed him inside. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on like my life depended on it. I rested my head on his chest and cried my eyes out.
We sat there crying for god knows how long. When we stood up Dan grabbed onto my hand, tears in his eyes still, and held it tightly all the way home. When we walked into the house, he didn't let go. I just stood there looking at him. Wondering what was going through his head.
With my hand still in his, he walked to his room, pulling me along with got to his room and he let go of my hand. He closed the door and went to his dresser. After digging for a minute, he came up with two pairs of pajama pants. He threw a pair to me. Without a warning he took off his shoes and started to unbutton his his pants.
"Dan, do you want me to leave so you-," I was interrupted.
"You're not leaving my sight tonight. You can borrow my pajama pants for tonight." He slipped off his pants with ease and put on his favourite pajama pants. He turned to face me. "Change, Phil." He picked up his pants and went to put them in the dirty laundry basket in the hall. I quickly changed and did the same.
Dan waited for me at the door. Watching my every move. He took my hand in his again and lead me to the bed. I sat on the side, very awkwardly I should add. He pulled me down beside him and cuddled me. My head was under his chin and his arms were around my shoulders. He kissed the top of my head.
"I lied this morning. I did come into your room. It wasn't a dream. I kissed you last night. I was just scared. Scared of what I was feeling. I wasn't sure if I liked you back or if I just didn't want to lose you and I felt that was the only way I could keep you. I still don't know. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. All of the pain I caused you. All of the confusion. All of the sorrow. I'm sorry." And with the I feel asleep in his arms. Content with how my life was turning out.
The basic idea for this chapter was submitted by PhanFictionz. There will be more chapters. I know this kind of sounded like an ending but it wasn't. Maybe. I don't know. I hope not. There is still some idea's going through my crazy head.
