Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Chapter 16
Sakura was still crying over what I said to her. She deserved it because of what she said to me. She said worse, but I didn't want to get into detail. She said things that never should be said to anyone. Sakura started all the drama when she walked up to me. After that everything blew up and I'm now angry and depressed at the same time. Sakura always started drama, but she never understood what I went through every single day. She never listens to what I have to say. A couple of months back were when she started and she turned back to her normal hating self. Sasuke normally told her what was going on. I know she doesn't truly care about me.
I was lying on the ground thinking about everything that had happened today. The break up was the biggest thing that was on my mind. Cutting was the second and the things that I said to Sakura was the third. Sasuke was now mad at me because of it. I knew it was my fault for what I said, but I was just reacting to what she said. I know I shouldn't have said all those rude things it her. She was rude to me, but I guess that didn't give me a right to be rude back. I only did because she wanted to be a jerk first. Sasuke did hear what she said to me. I guess he didn't care this time around. She is more important to him than I was.
I should have known that was the truth because he was a friend. I know he worried more about Sakura than anything. I care about him and he gave a crap about me. I messed up everything by blowing up at Sakura. When I looked over at him he had the meanest look her could muster. I didn't want to guess what he was thinking. I knew what was going to come after he got Sakura calmed down enough.
I know that he will not forgive what I said. Normally I knew that he would defend me against what Sakura said. I knew this time he would be against me because of what I said to his woman. I stopped caring about her when she said what she said to me. All the things she said were true about me. I didn't want to hear those. I felt now I was the ugliest person that never deserved anything in life. Nothing ever good was going to happen to me anyway.
I should have never retaliated because I am trying to mature. I said what I said and there is no going back. I was really hurt this time. I know that everyone knew that, but I wasn't going to listen to their conversation anymore. I jumped up and was thinking of going into the forest. I wasn't going to cut, but to think about how short friendships can be. I was also going to think about how something stupid can ruin them. I slowly walked past everyone and Amaya watched me.
"Please don't hurt yourself, Naruto," she said softly to me.
"I won't. I promise," I responded. When I got into the forest I sat near the river just to think.
xxx
I started walking to back to where everyone was staying after it got a little dark. Everyone was sitting around a small fire laughing and smiling together. I knew that if I went over it would stop being a good conversation. I looked at all of the faces that were sitting there. Amaya and Hinata were trying to hide the sadness. I could still see anger in Sakura and Sasuke's eyes.
I didn't want to get into a fight. I stayed away for as long as possible.
"Hey, Naruto," Hinata said. She had seen me and I was still trying to keep my distance. I was screwed because I was trying not to be seen by them. Sakura and Sasuke glared at me. I could see relief in Amaya and Hinata's face.
"Hi," I responded trying not to sound disappointed that they saw me.
"Where have you been?" Amaya asked. She was observing me to make sure I had no new cuts. She smiled when she saw there were none. I made her a promise and I wasn't going to do it.
"I was sitting by the river. I had a lot on my mind," I responded. She didn't say anything after that we were all quiet. "I promised you I wouldn't and I didn't."
"Yes, I'm happy you didn't," she responded. I was not going to make her a promise and then break it. I was not someone that went back on my word. Sasuke and I made contact. I knew he wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to talk to him.
"Naruto, we need to talk over there," Sasuke said pointing to a tree.
"No, I don't want to talk," I responded.
"Why not? I thought you were my friend," Sasuke asked.
"I do not want to talk to you right now," I responded.
"I really suggest you do," he responded glaring at me. I finally just decided to. We got up and went to talk privately.
xxx
Instead of near the tree we walked farther into the forest. I knew he didn't want the girls to hear our argument. I knew he wasn't going to touch me.
"Why would you say those things to Sakura?" He demanded as soon as we were far enough. I sighed.
"Did you not hear what she was saying to me? I was defending myself. I didn't need to hear all the things she said. They hurt more than anything she ever did," I responded.
"I heard what she said. You still didn't have to say anything you said to her. It was completely out of line," he responded. I looked at him. Did he really think the things I said were out of line? What she said was out of line too! I was not the only one.
"Wow, you don't understand what I went through do you? Even after I explained to you what happened. Sakura brought everything back to me," I responded.
"I don't want to understand what you went through. I don't care anymore," he said.
"You are my best friend! I thought you would care and want to understand," I responded. He started laughing hysterically. I just looked at the ground because I knew what was coming. I knew the friendship was over.
"We are not friends anymore. You don't deserve friends," he responded. "I do not want to be friends with someone that hurts people especially someone I love. You must be really stupid to think that I want to be friends with someone that is rude. It is your own fault that you are a screw-up. It is your fault that you are an outcast, you are not wanted, and a loser. You can't blame the nine tails for your faults. It is your entire fault. You don't belong because of yourself not because of what was put inside of you. You are nothing to everyone and no one will ever love you. I had a family when I was growing up. You have no one. You will never have anyone. I don't know how Hinata could see anything in you."
I didn't say anything to what he said. It hurt and my chest started to hurt as well. I could feel hot tears running down my face. I was really upset with what he said to me. He just walked away and left me where I was. I stopped caring about what happened to me at that point. I always explained to Sasuke and he would listen. Now he didn't care. He even threw the nine tails in my face.
"I'm not worth it," I said to myself aloud.
I took a blade from out of my pocket. I started cutting more and more. I felt bad that I was breaking my promise to Amaya. Amaya was going to know when she saw me. She was the only person that saw what I was going through. No one else understands and they never will again.
