Chapter 17

It takes twenty-one days to develop a habit. Pandora couldn't remember where she learned that, but she repeated that to herself every day that summer as a mantra. Twenty-one days of not thinking about him and she would never do it again. She thought it would be easy; she had enough to think about for that summer. Yet somehow, in between every secret meeting, behind every closed door, he surged through her thoughts and burst through the walls she had so painstakingly constructed the night before and soon enough she was bent over in tears, bawling her eyes out as she collapsed into her misery and self-hatred.

Her father mistook her tears for fear. He consoled her at first, reminding her of the great things they were soon to accomplish. But after a while he grew weary of her emotions and, inevitably, of her. He cast her off with Narcissa Malfoy, who was equally as broken, and the two sat on couches not meant for sitting and didn't speak, merely twiddled their thumbs and waited for everyone to finish planning.

There was a lot of planning that had been going on lately. It seemed like there was a plan for everything; Pandora could hardly go out without her father sitting her down and discussing the logistics, the motions, the pieces and parts of her plans for the night. She hardly saw her friends… not like they cared.

She tried to avoid the newspapers. She had seen Harry's face plastered over every single cover with words that nearly shattered her heart. She skipped over the words "disappeared" and "missing" as she also taught herself not to look over at the same wizards these articles were written about, trapped in her living room.

One night, her father came into her room. She had been reading the paper, despite telling herself she wouldn't, and pools of tears had collected at the bottom of the moving picture of Harry. She wiped away her tears hastily and pretended she had not been crying. Her father pretended not to notice.

"I know you've done a lot of observing the past few months," he began.

"I won't say anything, Father. I know the drill," she responded quickly, wishing to be alone.

"Good," he took a deep breath and prepared himself for what he was about to say. "But it's time you stopped just observing."

"Titus!" Viola squealed, flicking her hair back and batting her eyes at the Slytherin boy across from her. Titus, a rather daft fellow, simply looked at her in his usual confused, spacey way as she flirted. Bridget made eye contact with Pandora and grinned, rolling her eyes. Pandora chuckled in response. Bridget had recuperated and was now back to her usual, hardworking self. She had forgiven Pandora almost instantaneously, attributing it to a one-time mistake and urging her to not give it another thought. Pandora had agreed but secretly harbored a small obsession with the events of that day. She replayed the scenes to herself over and over again, the mixing, the brewing, and the adding. She couldn't remember what she had mixed, what she had created. She had sworn to herself, standing in that hospital room the night Bridget had nearly died, that she would never brew another potion again.

She almost didn't, in fact, for the entire summer. She stayed far away from her cauldron, threw her potion books out, and was steering clear of anything related to herbs or ingredients. But then the storm came, the trouble began and she knew she had no choice in the matter. Soon enough she was using her skills for potions much darker than relaxation brews…

"We'll be right back," Viola murmured, bringing Pandora back out of her reverie. Viola and Titus disappeared.

"Seriously?" Megan, a different Slytherin girl, began laughing once Viola had left.

"Are you surprised?" Olivia, another girl sneered. The boys, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Maxwell all snickered. Pandora cast a worried glance over at Bridget but suddenly her face was stolid and her eyes were focused on her nails.

"She's been with nearly every guy at Hogwarts," Maxwell, a boy who's mouth was probably bigger than a lot of this other body parts, informed everyone.

"She's the biggest slut I've ever met," Megan said. Pandora got up abruptly and began to storm out.

"Hey," Bridget stopped her, reaching an arm out.

"Are you just going to sit here and listen to this?" Pandora snapped.

"It's not like it isn't true, Pandora." Bridget said. "We're her friends."

"Exactly, we're her friends. So shouldn't we be standing up for her?"

"She does it to herself," Bridget responded quickly, averting her eyes. "Just sit down, Pandora. Relax. We'll stop talking about it." Pandora realized everyone was staring at her, eyes wide. She sat down quickly, feigning a smile.

"So," Bridget said with a big grin. "What did everyone do this summer?"

"I went traveling with my aunt," Megan twirled her long blonde hair around her finger as she spoke. "We saw so many amazing sights and I made so many connections, it was wonderful. I plan on continuing my travels once again at some point or another,"

"Well I got to intern at my mother's company," Olivia interrupted, a sly smile on her face. "I even got to go to some of the party events. I met multiple business contacts and got to have a first hand look at all of the…scandals,"

"Sounds loads better than my summer," Bridget joked. "What about you, Pandora?"

"Oh, um, I worked at my father's shop." Pandora stammered. There was a pause as everyone waited for her to elaborate.

"And…how was that?" Bridget asked.

"It was fine. The usual." She answered quickly, her hands sweating. Everyone looked at her strangely for a moment, regarding her unusual quietness, then resumed the conversation. Pandora sighed with relief at having the attention be off her. She felt as though she had dealt with enough unwanted attention over the past summer; just the thought of all of the things she had done this summer made her skin crawl and her legs shake. She felt the flower of change blooming inside of her; she was far past the girl she had been the year before at school. Something inside her had broken; and the pieces had been lost somewhere along the way and a new form had taken shape inside of her. She was not who she used to be; not even close.

"That's what happened to him! I swear! To Harry!" Pandora nearly flew out of her chair as she snapped back to attention.

"Potter?" she asked involuntarily, her heart beating against her ribcage, crashing against the bones as so many thoughts, emotions, and memories flooded into her like a tsunami.

"He's been expelled," Maxwell announced proudly.

"It's true," Megan grinned at her knowledge. "My aunt works in the ministry, she says he's got a hearing but he's absolutely kicked out of Hogwarts."

"Good riddance, Potter," Draco laughed. The entire group followed. Pandora coughed out a few laughs as she tried to disguise the sound of her heart cracking.