The Marriage
Chapter 12: Coming to some terms
CC hailed a cab, informed her address to the driver and concentrated on maintaining a calm façade all through the ride.
She was not going to cry out in front of anyone. No matter it was a stranger who would probably never see her again. She was a Babcock, and no one would see the bomb that was ticking inside her, ready to explode and drown her from inside out in pain and sorrow.
The only person she let see her emotions was now feeling hurt and disappointed, probably adding today to the already long list of occasions when she had made him suffer.
She kept observing the streets and tried not to think of the things she had done, hoping the external scenes would make her forget how crushed she was feeling inside.
CC observed the people: some of them were walking by, others were waiting to cross the busy streets; some of them were closing the shops, others were looking at the showcases; some were alone and waving to the passing taxis, and others were in pairs or small groups, chatting or walking arm on arm.
Those people kept living their lives, doing their jobs, seeing their loved ones and maintaining their routines. She wondered if they ever took risks to get what they had. She wondered if she should regret taking risks.
She had changed the rules of a game that had gone well for years, and in the beginning it seemed she had made a risky bet but had succeeded and was the improbable winner of the big prize.
And then she turned it into the mess it was now, as she always did.
All right, not doing it! She was not thinking about it now!
The night was falling. She put her eyes on the New York lights. She usually loved the colors passing quickly and, if she squinted her eyes, they were all beautifully blurred.
Now she didn't have to squint her eyes. The lights were blurred by the tears she was trying to suppress.
So, maybe the tears were what she wanted. Maybe all she did in a daily basis had the goal to bring sadness to her life, so she could look at things through a veil that distorted reality.
Hadn't she lived in an alternate reality for a while? Hadn't she hunt Maxwell for years, even after she realized he would never look at her the way she wanted, once the kind of woman that called his attention was Nanny Fine? Hadn't she tried to impress people being cold and fake, even knowing it would make people see her as ungraceful and ill-mannered?
And, not satisfied with her own veil of tears, now she had managed to bring it to the life of the ones who tried to care for her.
She noticed Niles had changed his way of treating her, that he was being warm and thoughtful, that he wanted to be closer to her… And what did she do? She proposed, she seduced him, she convinced him they could have the perfect life… and then she denied him something he really wanted, and that would not make any real difference to her.
She probably did it just to prove herself she could.
She tried to focus on the streets again, but each passing well known spot obliged her to a new effort to not break. She had been to some of these places with him, every time marveling at his presence and at the feeling that he was marveling at hers.
The taxi finally stopped at her building. She hurried to pay the driver, exited the car, waved quickly to the doorman, entered the lift and closed her eyes.
The tears escaped her silently, and she put a hand over her mouth. It was probable she would be making this trip alone, from now on. No more relaxing conversation in the way from the mansion to their apartment. No more stolen glances and kisses just to make the other smile. No more zingers that pointed out how much attention they paid to each other.
And no more smiling Niles and his amazing food when she arrived home late, after a terrible day at work.
And no more good-listener Niles and his adoring look at her after a successful day at work.
She better grew used to being alone again, forever, once she was not able to make a man like Niles – sweet, loving, tolerant – happy.
Just thinking of all the way she had come until here made her want to cry again. She had slowly but steadily turned into the better person she was now – initially because she wanted to experiment it, then because it proved giving good results, and finally because it had the bonus of him being proud of her. And it was all a lie, a fantasy she created to hide her ugly face from everybody, including herself.
Well, she had stayed too long at the fair. It was time to admit she was not made for happiness and move on.
She quickly exited the lift on her floor, went almost running to her door, opened it, entered and locked it behind her, with trembling hands.
And then she had to support herself on the wooden door, and sobbed and wailed and slipped until she was sitting at the floor.
She was feeling guilty as she had never felt before.
And she had had reasons for guilt, in her life.
She had yelled at and threatened a lot of people, including writers, choreographers and her own mother.
She had humiliated a lot of anonymous characters that had the bad luck of crossing paths with her in days when she was in one her bad moods.
She had gained Chester as a gift from Maxwell (and probably Niles), to keep her company, and after some weeks of forgetting the dog in taxis and a lot of strange places, she had given him to Nanny Fine.
She thought of killing Nanny Fine, or at least harming her seriously, in some opportunities.
She had ignored Maxwell's children even when they tried to be nice to her, and tried to use them to reach him even when she knew it just served to frighten or annoy them.
She had thrown zingers at Niles about his station in life, exactly because it was the only thing about him he was not able to change without upsetting the lives of a lot of people, and she knew it was where it hurt him most.
Why did she keep doing this to him? Today, again, she had attacked him. Again, she had taken his feelings for her and their marriage and turned them into something ugly and ridiculous. After their amazing trip to England, after seeing the joy in his eyes at being with her there, she had acted as if he was not worth her respect.
And she didn't even know why.
She couldn't think straight. The pain was too much.
CC had never thought she would feel like this about a man. Of course, she had been passionate before, and had felt the sadness of being dumped or simply not reciprocated in her interest, but those experiences had nothing to do with this.
This was just plain despair.
The notion of hurting Niles to the point where he would prefer not to be with her anymore gave her a void that was not similar to anything she had ever felt before.
Maybe her big mistake was marrying him. She was not a good person, after all, and he was. She always knew this, and probably could guess he would be such a wonderful husband – the one she needed to prove people she could be the Bitch of Broadway and yet have a person that adored her by her side.
She should be happy, now: she had chosen so well the man that he wanted to give her what most women dreamed of – a beautiful wedding ceremony. In her case, wouldn't it be the perfect thing to rub in the faces of everybody and show them how well succeeded she really was?
So, why did the suggestion of doing it put her in a state like this? Why couldn't she stand the idea?
If she didn't want to announce their liaison to the world in a proudly fashion, wasn't it the proof that she really didn't care for him?
But, if she didn't care, why she felt so horrible about hurting him?
And more: why did she feel such a pain by the thought of loosing him?
It was not just the pain – her own feelings were making her confused, now.
CC breathed deeply to calm down and got up. She needed to do something.
Once she was standing, she realized she didn't know what to do.
The obvious idea was trying to reach him, but she had been awfully quiet when Niles had asked her to talk to him, because she was too shocked for words. Now it was not that different. She still didn't know what to say to him.
And maybe now it was too late to try to reason with him.
She wondered what would happen if she just turned around and went back to the mansion to face him. What could she say? That she wanted to have the wedding? It would not be true; she didn't understand why, but she knew she didn't want a wedding. At least, that was how she felt now.
And it was not fair she imposed her decision on him.
The tears came back full force: she had changed a lot, since they had married. She really had turned into a better human being, specially in what concerns him, and she had never felt so alive.
She had to admit that being nicer didn't mean being weaker or repressed. On the contrary: every time she showed some spontaneous warmth towards anything and anyone, she felt like she had conquered some freedom.
And yet, she couldn't bring herself to have the damn ceremony that could solve it all.
CC saw the telephone and walked to the sofa to sit down next to it. Maybe she should call her therapist (the one she had asked for a break since her decision of marrying Niles) and have an appointment to discuss it.
But what was the point? Niles had said she was not the woman he had married nor the one he wanted to wed.
She was a disappointment. Why insist on a situation that would just prove her to be a failure and him to have an incomplete relationship?
She had to lie down. She felt like walking on circles, tied to her own doubts and insecurities.
She curled and closed her eyes. She needed to sleep, once she had no idea of what else was safe for her to do.
The last coherent thought she had was of how she gave up pursuing Maxwell just to realize she wanted that damn complicated butler in her life, and now she was the one being all complicated and screwing things up.
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CC entered the mansion by the front door.
She knew she was dreaming because a lot of people she knew from totally different places were there together, in a line that crossed the house and reached the living room.
'What is happening here?', she asked Yetta, the last one in the line.
'We came here for the audition', Sylvia answered before her mother could open her mouth.
'Can't you just shut up?!', the old woman said, slapping her arm, 'Don't you remember she is the one we are trying to get out of the game?'
CC frowned. Just in a dream she could have some information from those people, and information that made sense, 'Who said I would give up my position?'
'You said!', BB Babcock yelled happily from her place in the line, what was very out of character for her, 'And we all run here to see who he chooses!'
CC took a look at the line. She recognized Val, some dancers from their last show, their main actress and actor, the journalist of the Spotlight Magazine, some gay chorus boys (who were chatting animatedly with her brother, Noel), and some of her socialite 'friends'.
'Where is Maxwell?!', she yelled at no one in particular, 'I must talk to him and stop this nonsense!'
'He is ahead in the line', Val answered, 'Arrived early, because he lives here'.
CC found the answer strange, and started walking besides the line, to see where it was going – she had a feeling the place was not the office, as she had thought.
And she was right. It stopped at the swinging door that leaded to the kitchen.
And the first one was Maxwell.
'What the hell is happening here?!', she asked him, not knowing why she was feeling more furious than confused.
'Oh, CC. What are you doing here? Have you changed your mind?', he sounded hopeful.
'About what?'
'You know what', he made a conspiratorial face, winked at her and, noticing she was not cooperating, stood tall and put his hands on his pockets, 'I have already made my mind and I'll take a chance, but if you had reverted your decision it would make things easier to everyone. I like the thought of things not changing'. He looked at the people behind him and turned to the swinging door, 'I prefer he stays here with us, and if she can't win him over, I think I am the next best catch around here'.
CC was wide-eyed at this and bolted to the kitchen before Maxwell could make any gesture to stop her.
When she entered, she saw Niles behind the kitchen island, and Nanny Fine was trying to coax him into letting her come closer. It seemed he was ready to run from her.
'I've told you, Miss Fine, I can't do this', he was saying.
'Oh, sweetie, Maxwell said he doesn't mind', and the Nanny made a shoulders shake that was meant to be seductive.
'You bitch!', CC exclaimed, enraged.
To her surprise, Fran turned to CC and rolled her eyes, and Niles looked at the brunette with an expecting face, 'What are you looking at? I think I have heard something…'
'No, sweetie, there is nothing, really', Fran turned to him and started stalking him again. 'Just give me a chance, Niles. I'm sure I'll be able to make you happy!'
'No, you aren't', he answered sadly, 'I prefer you with Mister Sheffield. I'll stay all by myself. I'm all right with it. I have lived like this since… forever'.
He finished his sentence taking a scarf from his pocket and smelling it.
CC recognized one of her scarves and gave two steps into his direction.
'But you don't have to', Fran seized his moment of distraction and CC's hesitance and reached him quickly, snatching the scarf from his hand and throwing it on the island, 'I'm here to do everything for you – probably better than you have ever imagined'.
'What do you mean?', he was intrigued.
'Well, we would be friends with benefits… No feelings attached… That is what turns you on, isn't it?', her nails traveled by his thigh, 'We could still be friends, and have something more. Something that wouldn't hurt you, because your heart would not be into it'.
'I-I'm not sure it is a good idea…', he tried to escape her again, but she was not having it, and she put a grabbing hand on his shoulder.
Maxwell entered the room, and Fran turned to him, 'Tell Niles what you have told me, Max! I think he doesn't believe me!'
The producer walked until he had passed CC, 'Well, Old Man, you know how important you are to me, and I would do any thing to make you stay here. And I mean any thing', and he licked his lips as a hint, eyeing Niles' body from head to toe.
Fran turned to Niles and licked her lips, too, 'Got it, baby?'
The butler seemed confused, 'Why are you offering it to me?'
The door opened and more people entered.
BB said, 'You are a gentleman!'
Sylvia said, 'You can cook as a God!'
Yetta said, 'You're yummy!'
People chorused their agreement, and CC thought she would faint.
Someone took her arm and said softly, 'You should go away'.
'What? Why?', she turned to see the Little One at her side, wearing a creepy white doctor coat.
'You don't belong here anymore, Miss Babcock. It was your decision, and now you can't take it back'.
'But I'm here! Why can't he see me?!'
Gracie looked at Niles, who was confusedly trying to get used to Fran's and Maxwell's arms linked to his, 'It was too much suffering, and he had to forget you'.
'He has no memory of… us?'
'It was the only way to maintain him alive and sane', Gracie tugged at her arm, 'Please, go'.
'But… I…'
The doorbell rang, and Niles quickly stepped out of his friends' arms, 'I will get that'.
CC saw he took the scarf from the island while passing by, and she run after him, going through the crowd that had stopped by the swinging door.
He kept walking hurriedly, then stopped at the den and looked around, seeming to have forgotten the door for a moment. He looked at the scarf in his hand.
She came to his side, 'You wish it was me, don't you? You want it to be me at the door. You want me back'.
Niles looked around at the now empty living room. He murmured, 'I wish there was someone…', he took the scarf to his nose, as he had done in the kitchen, and closed his eyes.
The doorbell rang again, and he woke up from his daze and went to open it.
At the other side of the door CC saw herself, in the same outfit she wore her first day she came to the Sheffields, including her brunette locks she was so fond of at the time.
He just stood there, mesmerized, and the younger version of herself looked through him and entered, 'I'm CC Babcock. I am here for an interview with Maxwell Sheffield'.
He closed the door, took the card she handled him and just stood there while she kept pointedly not looking at him. He slowly reached out a hand to touch her and make sure she was real, but the doorbell rang again.
Confused, Niles recoiled his hand, turned and opened the door, just to find an older version of the same woman, now blonde and more confident, looking him in the eye for a moment, then entering and rumbling non-stop, 'Don't even start, Hazel. I just came to see Maxwell'.
She went to the office. The brunette found it a good idea and did the same.
Niles was going to follow them, but the doorbell rang again.
He turned to the door, that was already open, and there stood another CC Babcock, who shoved her coat into his chest and moved past him, 'I'll be in the office with Maxwell. Don't mess with this coat, I have a date tonight and need it'.
CC stood there looking at his dejected face, while he took the coat and put it against his nose to smell it.
He closed his eyes and she could, for the first time, really see his suffering when the realization hit him – he knew she was the one he had been waiting for, and he knew exactly what to expect from her.
CC felt with him the pain of the options she gave him – a life of misery and solitude, always waiting on her while she ignored him; or a life of humiliation and pain, teasing her until she expressed any thing towards him.
The doorbell rang again, Niles slowly opened his eyes and turned.
CC couldn't take this anymore. She closed her own eyes.
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… and opened them to discover she had been waken up by the noise of her own doorbell.
Looking at her watch, CC discovered she had slept for almost five hours.
She sat on the sofa and frowned at the door. Nightmares always made her tired, and this one, after so much crying, had her feeling like she had had her bones broken.
All she didn't need was Nanny Fine and/or Maxwell coming over to console her.
Specially after that disturbing dream where everybody wanted Niles but her, and where he kept running to her just to be kicked again.
The dream had made clear that he only could have a chance of a somewhat normal life without her.
And yet, it had showed her that he was unhappy without her.
A memory came to her mind before she could prevent it:
So, tell me, Rochester. What would you do to kill a day before I came along?
Well, truth be told, my life was a little empty… But now I have a hobby.
She smiled at the piece of dialogue. She had made a difference, after all. A good one.
And, even if it was rationally wrong, all she really wanted was that it was Niles at the door.
Even if she knew Niles had the keys and didn't need to ring.
And Niles would not come… would he? After all she had done to him…
The bell rang again.
CC sighed. The right thing to do was yell that she didn't want to see anyone and run to her bedroom. People would take the hint.
But she didn't have the energy to even rise from the spot where she was.
Suddenly, she heard loud knocking, and the voice she really wanted to hear sounded desperate, 'Miss Babcock? Are you in there?'
Her eyes went wide, she felt full of energy and bolted to the door, placing her hands on the wood, 'Niles?'
'Oh, thank God!', his voice answered her, his worry very blatant, but then he contained himself, 'Yes, it is Niles'.
CC rested her face against the door, smiling at the pout she knew he was sporting. 'You came'.
Niles heard her voice and knew she was close to the door. He put his hand on the other side, wishing she could feel him touching her. 'Are you too upset or we can talk?
It took her some moments to answer, because she didn't trust her voice. She was still confused by the dream. However, if there was a lesson she had to learn from it, was that she needed to pay attention to what Niles wanted, 'Yes, I am upset, but I think we must talk'.
'Will you open up for me?'
CC's face contorted in a bitter smile. 'You have the keys, don't you?'
'Do I?', he asked lowly, knowing she had got his double meaning.
'Yes, Niles, you do'.
It was his time to be silent. She had not hesitated in answering him, but he felt like he was in dangerous territory. He rested his forehead on the door, 'I would feel better if you invited me in'.
She didn't know what to do. She wanted to open the door, throw herself in his arms and forget about all of that, but he wanted to talk, and she knew it was what they had to do. 'Ugh! Why do you have to do this to me?!'
'What do you mean?', he was not sure she was still talking about opening the door, about their fight or the general situation they were in.
'Don't you like what we have?!', her distressed voice came through the door, followed by a thump.
He wished he could see what she had used to hit it. He hoped it was not her head. 'I do'.
'Are you not satisfied?', another thump.
He was getting really worried, now, 'I am'.
'Isn't this we have enough?', another thump.
'In a way, it is'.
'How is it, Niles?!', two simultaneous thumps.
He judged by the sound that she was using her fists, and he felt slightly calmer.
Niles thought before answering, 'The business deal was good when we had nothing. But now that we have this… emotional relationship, it seems to me we are worth something… beautiful to seal it'.
He expected another thump.
Her voice sounded tired, 'Do you really think there was a point in time when we had nothing?'
Niles opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again. No, there was no point in time when he could say he didn't feel anything for her. and she was saying she felt the same.
His voice trembled when he was able to talk again. 'I think that's why I came. This bond between us has been so strong since forever… and then you proposed… and I thought you had realized that we belong together'.
'I know we do', she assured him.
'And I felt it was my turn to do something for you', he paused and cleared his voice, 'I had to come and try to make things right'.
She said something that went muffled by her crying.
'Would you say it again?', he asked, worried.
The sound came muffled one more time.
'Please, baby, calm down and talk to me, will you?', he pleaded.
Her sobs were his undoing.
'Please, let me in! You don't have to be alone through this!', he searched for his keys in his pocket and was ready to use them when he saw the doorknob moving.
The door was opened enough for her fingers and half her face appear, 'I don't think I have done anything for you, Niles. At least, not anything positive'.
He got closer and touched her fingers with his softly, looking into her eye, 'Are you kidding me? You are the reason I stopped thinking my life had no meaning', he saw the tears that started running on her face, 'I can't accept the notion of us being apart again. I don't care you said no…'
The door flew open and they were suddenly facing each other, 'I never said no, Niles', she declared, firmly, but then her lower lip trembled, 'I'm just sure I'll ruin everything if I'm not ready… And I don't feel ready… I don't know why, but I just don't…', and she put her hands over her face to hide her crying from him.
He gave a step towards her, took her hands from her face and embraced her tightly, 'Oh, Miss Babcock…'
She hugged him back forcefully, 'Call me CC'.
He was taken aback by that. Then he chuckled, moved, and kissed her temple, 'CC… I love you'.
She moved her head back, slowly, and he kept giving her small kisses, reaching the side of her eye, the tip of her nose, and then her lips.
They kissed, and it was tender as it must be – because it was a reunion of two people that thought they had lost the most important person in their lives.
Tears were running down her cheeks again, and she couldn't care less that he could feel them, but then she heard him sniff between kisses, and she knew she was not the only one crying like a baby.
She pulled apart to look at him.
He had the same suit he was wearing earlier, his tie loose, his hair messed up, his face showing how he had been grieving for the last hours.
Niles stayed there, standing, letting her give him the once over while studying her face. He wanted to give her the time she needed.
Noticing he was waiting for her, CC bit her lower lip, stretched her arm and pushed the door closed behind him.
They remained silent, eyes locked, the breathings turning ragged by the emotions that were building inside them.
CC couldn't stand it anymore. She nestled against him and put her face on the crook of his neck, 'Why are you here, Niles?', she tentatively asked, 'Why do you always come back if you know I will hurt you?'
He smelled her hair, 'I can't be without you', he answered, 'And I know you can't be without me, either', he heard her sighing, 'Besides, you are wrong about hurting me. We make each other happy most of the time. That is exactly why I just couldn't understand your doubts about having a wedding'.
She whispered, 'I can't understand them, too'.
'That's all right', he put his hands on her waist delicately, 'If you can forgive me, we can get over it'.
She went to her full height to look at his face, 'Forgive you?'
'I didn't intend to press you, but I must have done it. Forgive me for giving you the idea that I would do anything to have a wedding. I wouldn't do anything. Specially, I would never risk what we already have', he closed his eyes and kissed her lips softly, 'I'm sorry for making you suffer'.
She caressed his cheek and rested her forehead on his, 'I'm suffering because I'm stupid'.
'No, baby, don't say it'.
'You were right. I'm afraid and I hide in my shell and…'
He pecked her lips, 'I regret what I said. You are not afraid. You are confused. And I should not have reacted that way, exposing you in front of them'.
CC shook her head and parted from him to look him in the eye, 'Stop it, Niles. I was the one who confronted you and made accusations in front of outsiders'.
He smiled at her decided stance, 'Yes, but you were out of your mind. I should have been reasonable, hit you over the head and carried you out of the room before you could make a fool of yourself'.
CC rolled her eyes and smiled back at the familiar teasing, relief washing over her, 'As if you could carry me'.
'Did I get it right? You just insulted yourself?'
'My energy levels are so low I think I may have done just that', she rested her head back on his shoulder, breathing in his scent at the crook of his neck, 'I'm so glad you are here'.
'Me, too', he caressed her back soothingly, 'I went to my room and spent hours trying to calm down. I just couldn't understand what was happening, and didn't know what to do...'
'Same here', she said.
'And then I realized the only thing I really needed was to be with you. Nothing is more important'. Niles breathed deeply and resumed, 'And I'm serious about it. I won't insist on the wedding. If you don't change your mind, we still stay together, because it is wonderful. If you change your mind and decide to have the ceremony, you'll fulfill a dream of mine and I'll feel honored'.
She just grabbed him with more force. 'Any way, we stay like this?'
'If you mean together, yes, we stay like this', his hands paused on the small of her back, 'If you mean just standing here and embracing, I'm not so sure'.
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Later that night, Maxwell woke up to a distressed Fran sitting on his bed and hovering over him.
'Miss Fine?! What are you doing here?', she rolled her eyes at his startled reaction, and he corrected himself quickly, 'Fran… Is there any problem?'
'I'm worried about Niles and Miss Babcock', she said and pouted sadly, 'What if they're over? They were so happy!'
'Oh, darling, there, there', he pulled her into an embrace, trying not to notice the revealing nightgown she decided to wear while showing him how worried she was, 'I'm sure they will make things right'.
'Can't we help them?', she asked against his neck.
'I don't know if we should… I mean, it is their lives… They have such an unique relationship… I don't think we should intrude…'
'Uhmmm… Don't you smell good…?', she almost moaned on him.
'Thinking better', Maxwell sat up quickly at the sound of her moaning so close to his skin, 'I'm sure Niles would appreciate if we talked to him and showed our concern'.
'Oh, all right', she agreed, smiling, following him with her eyes while he hurriedly put his robe on.
This was a win-win situation: Maxwell was disturbed by her closeness, and because of it agreed on escorting her to see their friend. If he had not been disturbed, she would advance until she made sure he was…
Of course, Fran was really worried about Niles and CC, and not just because they were the example she wanted Maxwell to follow, but because life in the mansion had turned into something very positive, since they got together.
The producer took her hand and they went to Niles' door, knocked and waited.
Nothing.
They did it again, and then Maxwell turned the knob and looked inside. 'He is not here'.
Fran poked her head, 'The bed was not used'.
'Any more ideas?', Maxwell asked, at a loss.
'You could call Miss Babcock. Maybe he is there with her'.
'Well, that would be great for them. I think', Maxwell frowned in doubt and looked at his watch, 'But it's almost three in the morning'.
'We should make sure at least she is OK', Fran pointed out, 'Maybe he went there to talk and they are all right, or maybe he went there and they broke up, and in this case it would be better if we were prepared for the worst'.
'What if I call Niles' cell phone?'
'I've already tried that'.
'Oh, really?', he crossed his arms on his chest.
'Yes. And I got nothing'.
Maxwell smiled. She didn't even notice his disapproving expression, 'All right. I'll call the penthouse. Satisfied?'
Fran just wriggled her eyebrows.
The producer went to the phone, took it and dialed.
His expression went from expectation to joy to horror quickly, and then he hung up.
'What happened?', Fran asked, curious.
'I-I… he took it'.
'Niles?', he nodded, 'That is great! Well at least he is there and alive', she noticed Maxwell's still shocked face, 'What did he say?'
'He just had time to say Hello'.
'And?'
'And CC's voice said, We're ok, we'll call you later', he cringed.
It was Fran's time to frown, 'Don't tell me her voice sounded like she was… well… you know…'
'There was some music in the background…', he said.
'Awww!', Fran smiled fondly, 'Those two! What was it? INXS? Rick James? Bob Sieger? Oh, wait, wait! Was this romantic or funky?'
'I don't know!', Maxwell looked at her warily, 'How is it you know what kind of songs they prefer to…', he cringed again and made a definitive gesture, 'I don't want to hear something like that ever again!'
Fran couldn't let the opportunity pass, 'Oh, please, calm down. I'll make tea for you', she linked their arms, 'What if we occupy our minds with something else, now that everything is right with the world?'
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The next day, Niles was folding clothes at the living room sofa and humming to himself when Fran entered by the front stairs, 'Hey, Scarecrow, I see you're back'.
'We have just seen each other at breakfast, Miss Fine', he answered, smiling.
'I meant the grinning part of you', she noticed he was folding a Bananas in Pajamas themed underwear, using his own lap to do so, 'And, by the smile on your banana, everything is all right'.
He looked at her and then followed her glance to the cloth on his lap, 'Oh, please, Miss Fine, I don't know what you are talking about'.
She shook her head and started helping him, 'All right, Mister, you don't have to tell. I just want you to know I'm happy for you two. Have you chosen a date already?'
Niles thought about asking her not to help him with the clothes, but had to concentrate on answering her question, 'She didn't accept my proposal'.
'Really?', Fran said, finishing some folding and reaching for another piece, 'She had such a gleaming this morning I thought she had some oil in her skin', she stopped her hand and looked pointedly at Niles, winking, 'I know you are into this kind of thing'.
He couldn't stop grinning, 'Do you think she is that happy?'
'Of course, I do. She is as revoltingly happy as you are, sweetie', she answered and started pulling at some piece of cloth, 'This is stuck'.
'Just let it to me', he hurried to say.
But it was too late. One more tug and Fran had his Rick James shirt he had bought for his Superfreak cover. He had made a rerun for CC the previous night.
They had done a lot of things last night, and he couldn't stop grinning at the thought, even blushing at Fran's discovery.
'Nyiles…', she started to analyze the thing on her hands, as if trying to understand how it was supposed to work. Then she found the shoulders and extended it, looking at the cleavage that went until the waistline. 'Really?!'
He grabbed the shirt from her, 'Give me that'. He noticed she couldn't stop laughing and pouted, 'I'm sorry if my wife likes my moves'.
Fran laughed harder, 'Not all of your moves'.
He knew she was referring to his wedding proposal, and made an annoyed face, 'You are really funny today', he squinted his eyes at her, 'You know, there's a widower at the office, and I could use it if you managed to have him there, so I could have my wife at any other place of the house. You should really stop mocking me and do something useful for yourself!'
'Hey, don't need to be rough! I don't like it – you must be taking me for your wife'.
He glared at her.
'Oh, Ok, I got it. You are not in the mood. I'm going!'
Fran exited the room and Niles felt a bit guilty. He didn't intend to be mean to her, but he felt specially vulnerable before Miss Fine, when the subject was his relationship with CC.
He had been fighting for her cause for years, now, and he knew she wanted him to have his wedding as much as he wanted her to have hers. The fact he had gone as far as marrying Babcock, the woman he loved, but was not able to have the ceremony he wanted, must sound as a flop to her.
He also knew she took his marriage as a model to be followed, and it worried him. He always behaved as a big brother to her, and now he felt like he was failing at the role.
It was not CC's fault, obviously – she had the right to not feel secure about a big event, once she had a lot of issues regarding relationships to deal with, and he knew he must consider himself lucky she had come this far with him.
Niles felt it was time for him to get out of this obsession. They had talked about it last night, she had promised him she would consider the possibility with care, and he had promised he would be patient.
He already had what he really needed – her love. The rest could wait.
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Niles was at the kitchen, later that day, starting to think about what he was going to do for the afternoon light snack. He had some of CC's favorites in mind, but some of the ingredients must be bought.
He was just calculating if he had enough time to get out and buy the needed things when Fran appeared by the back stairs, big purse and a bag in hands, a black kerchief and dark glasses.
'Where are you going?', he asked, worried, once she seemed to be decided to exit the house without talking to him, what was strange.
'I give up!', she yelled, frustrated, 'I can't take this anymore!'
'What happened?', he turned to her and came closer, ready to take the bag from her hand if she gave him the chance. Maybe she was upset by his behavior, and he intended to make her stay time enough for him to explain himself and apologize properly.
She noticed his intention of detaining her and moved away, 'He keeps pretending things are advancing, when it's obvious they are not!'
Oh, this was about Mister Sheffield. 'You know how he is afraid of being heartbroken again. Just give him time and he will come over'.
'I don't have time, Niles! I won't be thirty forever!', she huffed. 'I've already made a miracle by being twenty-nine for such an amount of time! What more can a girl do?!'
He noticed she was serious about it and tried to gain time, 'Do you want me to talk to him? Maybe you should just go back to your room and calm down, while I try to put some reason in that thick head…'
'No, sweetie, forget it. I want him to notice me without you having to interfere every time. I want him to commit because he really loves me, not because people talked him into it'.
Niles kept silent at that. In fact, he agreed with her.
'Yes, I know I'm right', Fran sighed, 'And that is why I'm going to my mother'.
'But… what about the children? What about… me?'
'Oh, Niles', she whined, coming to him, taking her glasses off, and took his hands in hers, in an overdramatic gesture, 'I'll still love all of you… And I'll still love him… But I can't accept this almost relationship! I must be away, so I can decide what to do!'
CC entered the kitchen that moment, and stopped at the scene before her – a red-eyed Fran Fine with a black thing on her head, holding hands with Niles. 'What the hell…?'
Fran looked at the producer and let go of Niles' hands to point at her menacingly, 'You have no idea how lucky you are!'
She put her glasses on and exited hurried by the back door.
Niles went to close the door quietly and turned to the kitchen, a worried face.
'My God, she is really a Drama Queens!', CC snorted at her own joke, 'What was all of that about?'
'Oh, she is…', he stopped talking when he realized he had to point out Maxwell's lack of commitment to explain what had happened, and he had promised himself he would not bring the subject to her, '…upset over something. She didn't really tell me', he took off his apron nervously.
She noticed how he busied himself and knew he was hiding something. 'She said where she was going, at least?'
'Uhm, yes, she said she was going to visit her mother'.
'With a bag and dressed as if going to a funeral? And not a Fine-style Funeral, but a normal one?'
'Who can understand women?', he answered, quickly, and went to CC to peck her lips and embrace her by the waist, 'How are you, by the way?'
She looked into his eyes and then returned his kiss with a passionate one of her own, 'Much better, now', she murmured when he started kissing her jaw. 'But, even if this is really good, you are not making me forget what we are talking about'.
'I didn't know you had learned to talk', he kept kissing her and reached her ear with his tongue.
'Do you intend on… keeping doing this?', she asked, leaning her head so he could reach a spot both knew she loved, 'Because if you do, you'll have to take me upstairs, and in your bedroom I could be the one making you spill the truth…'
Niles stopped and looked at her. She was right. He blinked some times to get out of his daze, 'I have to go… buy groceries'.
'Really?', she smirked, 'What a pity! Now that I had such an amazing plan to make you blab!'
He went out of her arms and almost run through the kitchen, 'Want to come with me?', he asked, taking his wallet and coat near the back door.
'I would love to, baby', she answered in a low tone.
He looked at her and gulped, 'I-I meant… to the grocery… You usually like to come… uhm… go shopping with me'.
'Oh', she feigned surprise, 'No, in this case I must decline. I have a lot of work to do'.
'Right… then, see you later'.
'Yeah'.
Niles turned to the door and opened it, but stopped at the threshold, sighed, turned and came to her to kiss her again. 'I'm going', he warned her when they parted for air.
She nodded while maintaining her hands on his chest, 'If you say so'.
He looked into her eyes and stepped back before he was lost, 'Believe me, it's better'.
Once he was out of the door, CC turned to go to the office. She was ready to face Maxwell, now that their favorite pair of fools was out of the way.
She deduced the Nanny's problem must be with her business partner, and she had decided to make sure she was the one to solve it.
Arriving at her destination, CC knew she was right: the man was disheveled and looking at the papers on his desk as if he couldn't really understand them.
CC sat on the green leather sofa and called out, startling him, 'OK, Maxwell, time to talk'.
'What is it, CC?! Oh, if this is about the show, I confess I am not quite…'
'It is not. It is about you and Nanny Fine'.
He was wide-eyed at that, 'What do you know about it?'
'I know you are smitten with her, she is with you, you have been dating for a while, and I just saw her more crazed than ever, getting out of the house with a bag. Niles said she was going to her mother's house. So, what may have happened that was so bad she preferred to go to Sylvia's than staying here until you said you were sorry?'
Maxwell rubbed his hands on his face, 'Oh, CC, I don't know what to do anymore!'
'That's why I'm here. Let's talk about it', she crossed her legs and realized she felt like a therapist, 'Niles is out for groceries, so don't worry about the intercom. Just speak'.
The man tried to relax and sat back on his chair, 'I'll be sincere, CC. I think I'm in love with Fran'.
'These are not exactly any news, Maxwell', she scoffed.
'Yes, but… I thought she would accept that I want to take things slow. We have been dating for some months… But she can't stop talking about… commitment', he looked at her, deeply disturbed, 'As is engagement'.
Now CC understood why Niles didn't want to discuss the topic with her. He probably thought she would support Maxwell.
And now she understood Nanny Fine's outbreak: the man couldn't be infuriatingly slower if he made it on purpose.
She decided to go for her trademark objective approach, 'And why don't you give her an engagement ring yet and stop this nonsense?'
Maxwell paled at the thought, 'An engagement ring is a huge step, CC. It means marriage!'
'You have made it before'.
'Yes, and that is why I'm afraid to do it again', he sighed, saddened, 'I almost died with Sara… I don't know if I can stand the heartbreak again…'
'You were heartbroken when Sara passed away because you loved her and didn't want to loose her, Maxwell. If you don't take Nanny Fine, you will loose her, too. How does it sound, to you?'
He made a pained face, 'I know what you mean, CC… I may have lost her today…'
'And you are not doing anything?'
'I don't know… I mean, I love Fran, and I really don't want to loose her… but she is so different from Sara…'
'Well, you have to decide. Or she is very similar to Sara, and you are afraid to live the same things again, or she is very different and you are afraid to commit to someone so… peculiar', she saw Maxwell was pensive, 'In fact, I think they are not that different'.
Maxwell looked at her. 'What do you mean?'
'Nanny Fine loves your children, as if she was their own mother, since the first day. She even menaced me because of them, in an epoch when I really hated her and could have hurt her just out of rage'.
'Yes, she does love them…', Maxwell had a smile on his face.
'She adores you to the point where she thinks your conservative traits are charming'.
'I remember how she mocked my predictability, and then said she didn't want me to change…'
'She is such a warm person she can bond with almost anything in this world. She treats Niles as if he was a big brother, and I still don't know if she means her big brother or her brother-in-law', she noticed Maxwell grinned at the idea, 'She even tries to be friends with me to build this big family thing she enjoys'.
Maxwell's eyes warmed, 'Yes, you are right. She is all of that… as Sara was…'
'Of course, Sara was classy and didn't have a honking laugh…'
'In fact, I'm fond of her style and laugh…', Maxwell said, dreamy.
'I think, partner, that you are afraid to have found happiness for the second time. I mean, I don't get what you find so appealing in that woman and her family, but you already treats her as a wife – she commands the house, she distracts you from work, she decides things about your life and the children's, she orders Niles around, and you have been throwing fits of jealousy over her for a long time, now… If the one thing that is missing is a ring on her finger in order to have sex, for God sake, just do it!'
Now, he blushed and felt cornered, 'Well, CC, it is…', he searched for the right words, and realized he didn't have a defense. In fact, she was right, and he asked, just out of curiosity, 'I just don't get why you are here talking to me about this. I mean, it is not like you are doing the commitment that was required of you by the person you love'.
CC squinted her eyes at him, and for a moment he thought he had said too much and she was going to plunge on his throat. But then she answered calmly, 'I'm already married to Niles, Maxwell. I was the one who made the first move, and when he asked, in a really princess-like fashion, to be engaged before we had sex, I just did it', she sighed, 'I am not comfortable with this wedding thing, and I'm still trying to understand why it disturbs me so, and that was why I wanted to talk to you – so you could understand your issues and get over them, once I still can't get over mine', she opened her arms in mocked despair, 'That's the kind of good person your damned butler turned me into!'
Maxwell got up from his chair and circled the desk, moved by her display of humor and affection, 'Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I can help you'.
'No, Maxwell. It is time for you to go to Queens and rescue that moron from her mother's liar, before the dragon makes her marry the first poor idiot that comes to their door'.
'Oh, CC… Thank you!', Maxwell took her hand and kissed it, 'You're such a romantic!'
She rolled her eyes at him, 'All right, all right, that's OK, now go'. Maxwell exited the office and she yelled after him, 'And take the little one with you!'
Maxwell came back, 'Gracie? Why?'
'I don't know, but I have a feeling that she could be useful. She is very smart'.
The man nodded and went to fetch his daughter.
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One hour later, Niles returned to the house, put the groceries at their places, made two mugs of tea and went to the office. It was time to try to mend things.
If he was lucky, he would find an excuse to get CC out of there, so he could have this conversation with his boss alone. Some blackmail might be used, and he didn't want her to be present if he had to play dirty.
He found just his wife there, working, at the desk.
'Where is Mister Sheffield?', he asked, once she didn't look up from the papers she was studying even when he put the tray with the mugs on the desk, dangerously close to important contracts on purpose.
'He went after Nanny Fine', she calmly answered, finally looking at him. She made an effort to not grin at his obvious attempts to gain her attention.
She liked it had not changed even after their marriage.
Niles had his eyes big, 'How? Why?'
She maintained her façade, 'It seems he always can count on someone clever in this house to help him out'.
'And who would be this one, if I was out?'
She couldn't contain her smirk anymore, 'I came here and talked some sense into him'.
His open mouth was hilarious, 'H-how? W-why?'
'You seem surprised, Butler Boy'.
'You can bet I am!', he breathed deeply to calm down and took a mug to give it to her, 'Just tell me, please. What have you done?'
She happily took the mug, 'I came to the office and knew no work would be done if the situation, whatever it was, wasn't amended. So, I told him to speak his mind to me, he did it, and I helped him to understand his fears were totally absurd'.
'And… he agreed with you… just like that?'
She nodded, sipping the tea, 'At this time, he must have already reached Queens'.
'It was really quick, then?', he made an aggravated face, 'For this I'm not that surprised. It's your usual style with men'.
She smirked at his relapse in jealousy lands, 'I won't even comment how this zinger was worse for you than for me, once you just insinuated that you usually come too quickly or that I make other men come regularly… I'm feeling really proud of myself, right now'.
'And why is it? Because you have probably pushed the two of them together?', he looked at her attentively, 'You realize you did it, don't you?'
'Yes, I do – damn Prozac!', she quipped and winked at him, 'But it is not the point, really'.
'Then, what is it?'
CC sat back on the chair and put her feet on the desk, 'The point is I managed to do in five minutes what you couldn't in five years'. She opened her legs a bit, and the skirt she was wearing went up, letting Niles know she wanted him to see she was not wearing anything under it.
'Congratulations. It was really clever of you', he smiled at her and came closer to touch her ankles. He was aroused by her confidence.
She noticed the look on his face and the way his hand leisurely touched her, 'He took the Little One with him and the other children are not at home', at his surprised face she added, 'Lock the office door and come to pay homage to the boss, baby'.
