Well thankyou so much for the lovely response to the last chapter.

This evening finds me in a reflective mood. Not only is it my birthday tomorrow, but today is one year to the day since I was first diagnosed with ADD. One year on, and I am doing much better than before. Understanding how my brain works differently, and why I do certain strange things has been the answer to a riddle that I feel like I've spent my life trying to solve.

For those that don't know, ADD is not just the clichéd image of the hyperactive boy bouncing off the walls. Most girls who have it (myself included) have the 'mainly inattentive' type, with no hyperactivity at all. We sit quietly in class, not causing any trouble, and therefore are not likely to get diagnosed as a child. And attention is not the only problem we face. The condition is caused by neurotransmitters in the brain not firing consistently and efficiently. This causes problems with controlling and diverting attention, activating your brain to start work, and organisation. Believe me when I say that I am chronically disorganised! Even seemingly simple tasks can take forever if I just can't figure out where to start. And while my body is not hyperactive, my brain is. It constantly darts from distraction to distraction, unable to tune anything out - whether that is external occurances, or internal thoughts.

Since an increased understanding of the condition amongst the public at large would make things a lot easier for sufferers, I hope you will forgive my little essay there. And please don't think that I am self-pitying about it (I know I mention ADD a lot!). I am well aware that there are plenty of worse conditions to have. I am lucky that I have been diagnosed, and am finding some change due to medication. And this has happened at a young enough age to still make a difference to my career.

Okay, are you still with me? How about we have a little chapter now? Time for that spanner in the works that I mentioned...

Hope you enjoy! Myrtle.


Chapter Eleven: Oh No, Not You Again

Naomi

"Oh, you should have seen him, Em. He was gorgeous."

Katie prattled on and on about the latest guy to take an interest in her.

"Floppy hair, beautiful eyes and like, really toned figure, you know?"

For fuck's sake, why doesn't Katie have an 'off' switch? We were all lolling around in the rehearsal room, and there was no getting away from her constant chatter. Rehearsals had dwindled to a standstill, while Cook and I talked technicalities about one of the illusions. The twins had listened to our conversation at first, but Katie had quickly got bored and started on a subject that was always of interest to her: namely, her love life.

"...and he's got a friend - you should meet him" she added. I suppressed an eye-roll. I was sure that Katie often tried to set Emily up with her boyfriend's mates - regardless of the fact that Emily wasn't interested. I wouldn't mind betting that said mates were often single for a reason anyway.

"I can't, can I?" Snapped Emily, clearly as bored with the conversation as I was. "It's not like we can go double-dating anytime soon, is it?"

Emily sounded particularly pissed off today, and I felt sure that it was mostly my fault. We hadn't exactly parted on sociable terms last night, and I had been deliberately avoiding eye-contact with her all morning. Okay, so I know that's childish, but I don't know what else to do. Last night really scared the shit out of me, and I don't know how to deal with that. Things moved so quickly. One minute I'm showing her a coin-roll, the next minute we're on my bed indulging in some very heavy petting. How far would things have gone if Emily hadn't stopped it? In all honesty, I really don't know - and that thought terrifies me. I haven't wanted anybody like that for quite some time, and I have no idea how to stop those feelings.

"...and he was so interested in the show as well. He really listened to me..."

I tuned back into Katie's jabbering as I realised that she was talking about our show.

"What did you tell him about it?" I asked sharply. All eyes in the room turned to face me. I stared at Katie. "What have you been telling people about the show?" I asked again, when she didn't answer me. Anger bubbled up inside me as a momentary hesitation showed on Katie's face. "You've signed a secrecy agreement, you stupid cow!" Indignation flashed in Katie's eyes.

"Don't call her that!" Snapped Emily. Great, now I have two Fitches infuriated with me - not a situation I wanted to be in.

"He asked me what I do for a living, so I told him" said Katie firmly. "I didn't tell him anything about the show. Or about Emily." I had my doubts about her statement, but could hardly argue any further. I still wanted to have the final word on the matter, though.

"Well just remember to watch what you say to people" I insisted. Katie rolled her eyes in dramatic fashion - she had heard it all before. "And don't go telling them your real surname, either." That snapped Katie's attention back to me.

"What? Since when?"

Oh fucking hell, was I the only one taking this seriously?

"This was all in your contract! Didn't you read it?" Katie shrugged dismissively. I suppressed a sigh, and began to explain. Again. "There's going to be a lot of interest from the press once the show premieres. If people know your real name, they might start digging, and find out that you have an identical twin sister." Katie drew herself up to her full height.

"I'll have you know that we Fitches are very proud of our name!"

"But you've signed a contract" I said forcibly. I was primed to argue further, but Cook joined in with a timely intervention.

"Katie chill, babe. It's like having a stage-name - all the best assistants do it anyway." Katie visibly calmed down at the suggestion that by changing her name, she would be acting like a star. Cook saw that his approach was having the desired effect. "You know Debbie McGee?" He asked. "Not her real name. She was actually christened Talulah Bibblethwaite." Not for the first time, I marvelled at Cook's consummate ease at spinning a tall tale. Katie immediately started talking about what name she could use instead. Cook caught my eye. "I think we should take a break" he insisted, obviously picking up on my bad temper. I nodded, feeling the need to leave the confines of our rehearsal space behind for a while.

I bent down to gather some of my papers together. As I straightened up, I realised my mistake. Cook and Katie had left the room at the first suggestion of a break, leaving me alone with Emily. She stared at me with a look that made it clear I wasn't going to get away without speaking to her. I took a deep breath and braced myself for whatever was to come.

"I need to talk to you" she started softly, as she moved closer. "About last night." It was a bit of an unnecessary clarification - I hardly thought we were about to discuss the weather. As usual, I tried to take the cowardly way out - avoidance.

"I don't have time, Emily. I've got to..." Emily was not to be dissuaded.

"This is an unscheduled break! Make time." I could hardly argue against that. Emily must have seen my inward capitulation. She stepped closer again, and placed a firm hand on my arm. She cast a final glance over her shoulder, making sure that we were alone, before turning her eyes back to meet mine. Her anger of a few minutes ago seemed to have dissipated, and her tone was much softer. I couldn't help thinking that this conversation may have been easier if she was just pissed off at me.

"I wasn't rejecting you last night" she began. "I want you - I really do, but I want you for more than just a fling." My gaze faltered to the floor. It was impossible to continue staring at those beautiful brown eyes, so full of truth and feeling. "Things just suddenly moved so fast last night."

"Yeah." That was one sentiment that I definitely agreed with. Emily's hand traced gently along my arm. I fought the urge to close my eyes and get lost in the sensation.

"I know you sleep around" she continued. "And I'm not judging you for it, but that's not what I want."

I found my eyes raising involuntarily back to Emily's. I knew I should tell her the truth, but somehow the words just wouldn't come. My carefully constructed facade was one of the few protections I had. So I settled instead on a lie.

"I'm sorry, Em" I found myself saying. "I like you, but it's nothing more than that." I saw a flicker of hurt in her eyes, and wished that I wasn't the cause of it. I guess Cook's not the only one that can spin a convincing yarn.

The desire to escape this enclosed space and these stifling emotions quickly took hold. I stepped away from Emily, and away from her comforting touch on my arm.

"I'm sorry" I said with a shrug, hoping I sounded much more casual than I felt. Unable to think of anything further to add, I slipped silently out of the room.


Things remained pretty strained between us after that. I felt unable to act normally around Emily, knowing that she wanted us to be more than just friends and co-workers. I avoided being alone with her as much as possible, and we spoke with a forced politeness to each other whenever the whole group was together. Katie didn't seem to notice anything was up, although it would hardly be me that she would ask if she did. But Cook did notice, and he called me out on it one evening, as we were having a drink together in one of our favourite bars.

"So what's up between you and Emily?" He asked suddenly. The question caught me off guard.

"What?" I asked with a frown, hoping to feign ignorance. Cook grinned at me.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Nai. You've been walking on your eyelashes around each other for ages. I thought you were getting on really well." He took a swig of his pint, before slamming it down with some force on the table. He stared wide-eyed at me as an idea occurred to him. "Fuck me, Blondie! Did you shag her?" I scowled at him.

"Keep your voice down, will you?" I hissed. "Not everything is about sex, you know." Cook just chuckled as if I had told him a joke. "I haven't fucked her, okay?" I insisted firmly. The last thing I wanted was for everyone to start jumping to that conclusion.

"So what happened?"

Shit, Cook just wasn't going to let this go. I took a gulp of my drink, stalling for time while I thought of what to say. I decided it was probably safest to give him an approximation of the truth.

"We nearly did" I told him sheepishly. Cook bellowed with laughter, but it dried up the moment I glared at him. He gestured at me to continue. "It was the last time we went out together to see a show. We ended up back at my room with a bottle of Vodka. We were drunk, and we..." I sighed. "I don't know why I'm even telling you this."

"'Cause I'm your best mate, and whatever happened is making you cranky. Not to mention the bad atmosphere it's causing our little group."

I gave him a watery smile. Cook really does care about me - his questions weren't geared at finding out salacious details of girl on girl action. I took a deep breath before continuing.

"We kinda started kissing and... stuff, but Emily stopped it. She said she wanted things to go slower, but... I'm not really looking for that." I fell silent and gazed at Cook. I knew that he wouldn't question that idea too much. Cook was Mr Commitment-Phobe personified. He nodded slowly for a moment, apparently deep in thought.

"Right" he said at last, a slight frown creasing his brow. "So when you were snogging her, where exactly were your hands?"

"Cook!" I guess I take back what I said about him not wanting salacious details. I threw a punch at his shoulder. My fist connected quite firmly, but Cook just shrugged it off with a laugh.

"What?" He asked, with his innocent-little-boy smile. "I'm just trying to get it all clear in my mind!" I shook my head at him, and we both lapsed into silence. Eventually, it was broken by Cook. "Did you at least get her bra off?" He asked. Despite myself, I found myself chuckling at him. Somehow, he always knew how to get a laugh out of me. He grinned at me, before dropping the act and suddenly getting real for a moment. "You need to talk to her. She's an important part of the team now, and I don't want to see my girls getting upset, okay?"

I nodded, but I knew I wasn't really going to act on his advice. Emily and I had already spoken about what happened, and that had got us nowhere.

"I'll try" I said with a shrug, hoping this conversation was over.

"That's my girl" he said with a nod. "But there's one thing I need to know, and it's really important: did you see her tits?"


Time whittled by, and the date of the premiere whizzed nearer and nearer to us. We were making huge steps forward with rehearsals. Most of the show seemed to be coming together perfectly. Katie and Emily had really taken to their roles, and everyone was working very hard towards that opening night. I still didn't have the equipment we needed for the bullet-catch trick, but I had received assurances that it was on it's way. I was desperately hoping it would get here in time for our rehearsals. You can't put a trick like that in a show with only a smattering of run-throughs.

That was the only wrinkle in an otherwise smooth time. That is, until I was walking along The Strip one day by myself, and saw something that threw everything into a tail-spin. I had left our rehearsals to get us each some pastries, and was ambling my way back, glad of some time to myself. As ever, the traffic on Las Vegas Boulevard was at an almost stand-still. I crossed the road, heading back to The Garda Resort.

As I stepped onto the pavement, my eye was caught by a billboard above me. Several hotels have video-screen advertisements on The Strip, usually plugging their restaurants or their entertainment shows. This one showed a moving image of an olive-skinned man with a pointy little beard, dressed dandily in a frock coat and top hat. I ground to a halt and stared up at the image. I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach - only a magician dresses like that anymore. As I watched, the man was joined by a waif-like woman who looked thoroughly bored to be there. She draped herself elegantly over the man, who doffed his hat to the camera. He winked, and I swear to god, they had actually digitised a twinkle in his eye. In other circumstances, I would have laughed out loud at how clichéd it was. All that was missing was a little 'ding' sound effect. As I continued to stare, the sign entreated me to 'see the miraculous magic of the Marvellous McLair and the Enigmatic Effy'. Fuck me, was that enough alliteration for you?

I didn't stay to see any more. I was already off and running into the hotel. I headed straight for a newsagent, and began frantically hunting through the entertainment magazines. I quickly found a one with a full-page spread about this new show. I paid for it as quickly as I could, and headed along to the rehearsal room. I walked in and threw the bag of pastries carelessly onto a table. All eyes turned towards me.

"We've got competition" I announced. "There's another magic show, and it's going to premiere before ours."

The twins both gasped, but Cook just chuckled.

"What's the worry, Blondie? There's always another show in this town. Ours will be better, won't it?"

I took a much needed gulp of air. I suppose Cook was right - this was bound to happen sooner or later. It's not as if there aren't plenty of magic shows, and every other kind of show, already on The Strip.

"Yeah, it's just the timing is bad I guess" I said uncertainly. I flicked through the magazine until I found the relevant page, and scanned the article. "They're going to open a couple of weeks sooner than us, that's all. And they seem to have a lot of publicity behind them."

"So?" Asked Cook with a shrug. "We'll have a load of publicity too. We can buy every billboard from here to the airport if we have to."

I nodded, and sank despondently into a chair. I threw the magazine to the floor. It fell open at the same place, and the 'Marvellous Mclair's' winking face mocked me from the page.

Cook suddenly rushed forward and snatched up the magazine.

"What the fuck!"

Myself and the twins all stared at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Oh this is fucking great!" He ranted. He screwed the magazine in his hands, before throwing it to the ground in disgust.

"What is?" I pushed. Cook was balling his hands convulsively into fists, and I didn't like the look of it one bit.

"That fucking... TOSSER" Cook pointed accusingly at the magazine. "Was my best mate."

Oh, fuck.

I remember Cook telling me about his former partner. The two of them had been best mates, along with another guy, for ages. They worked the streets of New York together, fleecing the tourists with Three Card Monte and various other scams while the other friend kept look-out. Cook introduced them to his girlfriend, and that was when things had turned sour.

"That wanker stole my girlfriend and fucked off on some swanky cruise-liner gig without me" he raged, pacing the room restlessly. I snatched up the magazine and smoothed it out. A picture of the 'Enigmatic Effy' smirked up at me. I dreaded asking my next question, but I needed to know how bad this was.

"And the girl?" I asked Cook, turning the page towards him. He cast his eyes over it, before looking away.

"That's her" he said simply, but I could hear the hardness to his voice. Perfect. The only girl to ever break the Cookie Monster's heart, and she's in town performing in a rival magic act. Something told me that a very unpleasant reunion was on the cards. I threw the magazine down once more, and moved closer to Cook. I wanted to offer some comfort, but since I'd never really seen him this wound up before, I didn't know what to say to him.

"Look, I bet their show's really shit" I told him. It was the best I could come up with on the spot. I was distracted from further efforts by Katie's voice behind me.

"Hey Emily look. That's the guy I was telling you about."

I span around to stare at Katie, hoping that she was looking at anything other than that magazine. My worst fears were confirmed. Katie was showing the now rather crumpled picture of 'The Marvellous McLair' to Emily.

"What guy?" I asked her sharply. Katie spoke about a lot of guys, but if she had mentioned this one in particular, then I wanted to know about it.

"The gorgeous one" said Katie, as if that somehow made it clear. "I spoke to him a while back, told him I was going to be in a magic show. But it's funny, he never mentioned that he was a magician."

"Yeah, funny that!" I mocked. I added a roll of my eyes, just in case Katie missed my sarcasm. "What the fuck did you tell him about us?"

"Nothing!" Said Katie defensively. I stepped threateningly closer.

"Katie, if he knows anything about Emily, then the whole game is up, and you can both kiss this fucking job goodbye."

"I said I didn't tell him, alright?" Katie jabbed a finger at me. "How many times do I have to say it? I haven't told anyone about Emily, okay?"

I didn't particularly want to back down, but I had no choice but to believe her. I consoled myself instead by issuing some stronger rules about how careful we had to be with our secrets. The twins didn't look happy, but it was now a doubly necessary precaution. If it wasn't already too late, that is. But I felt sure that if this McLair did know any of our secrets, we would be hearing about it soon enough.


So the thing about Debbie McGee: NOT factual, Cook just made that up. I googled 'famous assistants' in the hope of finding more people I could give funny names to, but there aren't many. Instead I found an online game aimed at young girls, called 'Beautiful Magician's Assistant'. For once, I find myself at a loss for words. I am unable to convey how much the very notion of that pisses me off!

GIRLS CAN BE MAGICIANS TOO!

Oh okay, so I found some words.

Let me know what you think! (Did I mention it's my birthday...)