Shepard's hand slapped into Liara's shoulder pad, gripping it to shove her away. Somehow, she ended up pulling instead of pushing, drawing the asari closer for a moment before thought and reason reasserted themselves.
Then, she did push, breaking the kiss with an almost wounded glare. She tried to step back but the Spectre didn't loosen her grip.
"No," Del said softly but firmly.
"Merah-"
"No. You don't get to do this," she replied. "You don't get to throw away an entire population of people because it's inconvenient to your duty to try and save them. You don't get to…you don't get to kiss me like you actually give a damn-!"
"Shepard, I am not going to throw them away," Liara said, firmly keeping her hold even as Del tried to tug away again. "We will do what we can to try and save them but you have to understand-"
"What?" Del asked, and tugged again. This time, Liara let her go, but Del did not stalk away as before. "What is it I have to understand? I'm just a civilian, here to do a job for you, isn't that right? I'm an asset to be protected. Why do I need to understand anything? Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. That's what you're good at, isn't it? Giving orders?"
Liara's brows knit, her eyes steel. "That is not fair-"
"It isn't? I'll tell you what isn't fair! It isn't fair that my family is under house arrest and Alliance protection, because some nut job I used to work with went off the farm. It isn't fair that those colonists on Purdue died because of her incredibly arrogant delusion of grandeur. It isn't fair that Tali and Deefa's people are now at extinction level population because of her, because I wasn't fast enough…and it sure as hell isn't fair that Sihra was taken from her home, and that as a result, her people get to become extinct as well! That's what isn't fair, Liara! And on top of that, you start with this…this…what the hell is this?" She gestured sharply at the asari, then herself, and back again. "A game?"
"What? You think that I would-"
"What else am I supposed to think? You walked away in the gym without a single damn word, and now this? What am I supposed to think?"
To her surprise, Liara seemed to deflate and soften a bit. "Of course, "she said quietly. "You and Traynor-"
"- are ancient history," Shepard replied. "And that doesn't answer my question!"
Liara studied her face, then nodded slightly. "You are right. I should not have walked away in the gym. That was…cowardly of me."
"You are many things but I don't think a coward is among them," Shepard said with a huff, most of her anger burned out. "Why did you really walk away?"
"I did not want to presume. My action was…impetuous, and selfish. I did not consider your potential feelings nor your possible relationship with the specialist."
Del narrowed her eyes faintly, scrutinizing the asari before she shook her head. "No, that's not it," she said. "If that was it, you would have stayed and asked, talked to me. You would have stopped when I said your name. What's the real reason?"
Liara looked at her, then let out a slow breath. "I do not want to care about you," she said at last.
Del said nothing, only watched her. Her thoughts were spinning so chaotically she wasn't even sure what she would say if she did dare to speak. After a moment, Liara continued.
"I am an asari commando, and a Spectre," she said. "I am devoted to my people, my duty. That is my life. It is the only life I have ever wanted or hoped for. I have seen-…my family, my father, I…"
"You don't want to be like your father?" Shepard asked gently, when Liara fell silent.
"My father is strong, and resilient, and kind," Liara said. "But I do not want her pain."
Again, Shepard said nothing. Clearing her throat and straightening, Liara looked toward the entrance to the bay. Though the sun had set, night had not yet fully fallen, and thick indigos laced with tangerine gleamed off the distant lake.
"It has never been a problem, until now," she said. "I do not know why it has changed. I do not know why just…looking at you turns all my confidence on its heel. I do not know why I am so afraid that something may happen to you, something I will be unable to prevent."
Watching her a moment, Shepard took a step closer, reaching out and gently sliding her hand into the asari's. An odd sense of relief took her when Liara closed her fingers around Del's hand rather than drawing away.
"If you hadn't run away in the gym," she said quietly. "I would have told you I felt it too."
Liara looked at her silently, and Del nodded, regarding the distant lake herself.
"When you first walked into that hospital room on the Citadel, I felt so…bashful." She gave a nervous little laugh, shaking her head. "If you knew me before, you'd know that bashful isn't generally something that I do. Virtue of being my father's daughter as well, I suppose. He was never afraid to go after what he wanted. At first I just chalked it up to you being asari, you know- being face to face with a living alien for the first time, but it…just kept happening. I felt like a damn little kid again."
"You hid it well," Liara said, and Del laughed.
"Nice try, but I know better. You didn't give me the nickname 'Merah' for nothing, Captain." She shook her head and looked back at the lake. "I just…I thought we connected a little, when we talked. I felt like I had two left feet whenever you were around but at the same time there was this…comfort, you know? When you'd smile or get a certain look on your face- the moments you stopped being 'Captain T'Soni' and were just Liara- I…I just felt like I'd known you for my whole life."
"Yes, it is strange," Liara said. "I have often felt as if I had met you before. That we had been friends, a long time ago, and I had just…forgotten somehow."
Del nodded, then looked down. "Did you mean it about trying to help Sihra's people?" she asked.
"I did. It is a slim chance, and I hold little hope that it will succeed or that Sihra will be cooperative but…you were correct. We owe it to her and to ourselves to at least attempt it."
The veil of 'captain' fell over her again, her shoulders squaring as she looked at Del. "Our rescue should be here in the next two hours. We will allow the rakir that much time to calm herself before we approach her about this. At least then we will have an Alliance team with us as back-up in case she decides to become hostile. We should get back to work. There may still be data you can recover from the computer systems, and I need to keep trying to contact the Aswa."
Back to business, Del thought. She knew it was foolish to stand here just talking when the galaxy was still at incredible risk but part of her mourned the loss of connection, however temporary it may be. It was for the best, anyway. They both needed time and space to think, to center themselves once again.
"I saw a small cantina on the way up here," she said with a nod. "You still need fluids. I'll see what I can find and bring it up to you in the control room before I take another stab at those computers."
Liara nodded. She was feeling weak and light-headed again thanks to the blood loss, and her wounds were persistent, nagging pains. It would be best if she sat down for a bit, anyway.
Del gave Liara's hand –which she was still holding- a gentle squeeze before she released it, and headed off across the bay. Liara watched her go, before she let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head.
I cannot do this. Goddess, how can I do this?
Contrary to what the two detraks may have thought, Sihra did not waste her energy or her fury in a pointless rage against the room in which she was locked. Indeed, they may have been shocked at her demeanor if they could see her.
Once she'd determined she couldn't get out, Sihra turned her energy into going over the entire room, inch by methodical inch. Though her wrists were still bound (the detrak with the odd head who called herself 'Captain Liara T'Soni' had not undone her cuffs, despite her words), Sihra played her finger-pads over every surface, her eyes scrutinizing each millimeter, her four nostrils drawing in every hint of scent.
Many of those scents were foreign…cold and heavy and like the air after a storm. Many of the colors she saw were unusual, too.
When she'd find a crack or a seam in the wall she'd try and pry at it, but it was ultimately futile.
The walls are not wood, nor stone, she thought. Much of them seemed made of some kind of metal but there were other materials she was completely unfamiliar with. The metal itself was odd. There were no marks of hammer or anvil, no ripples or warps or the faintest imperfection. Smiths did not exist who could work ore of this flawless quality.
As she explored, she thought back to the two detrak. The captain was clearly a leader of some kind. Even wounded she had stood up to Sihra, and she had the odd silver fire that moved things without touching them. Sihra had heard of this fire before. Some of the Stunted mages near the Hills of Parxel were said to wield the silver fire in some of their rituals, but she had never heard of someone not Stunted possessing such a thing. The captain possessed no scent of Stunted in her odor, not like the other.
A Stunted female. The thought still wanted to make her laugh out loud at its ridiculousness. Even if she hadn't been able to tell by her scent, the fact she was a doctor only confirmed it. Perhaps the Affliction affects the detrak differently than the rakir. Perhaps it is their females who remain weak and small and unable to carry a child, and not the males?
Thinking on that Stunted female only made her nose grow hot in shame and anger. Since she was a child, no one had managed to ever put Sihra under Control. She had never allowed anyone to get close enough to her, in battle or otherwise, to allow it. But who feared Stunted? They were weak, harmless, like children. No Stunted rakir would ever have dared even attempt such a thing. Sihra had been stupid, foolish. She'd let her guard down, underestimating the detrak female and as a result, she had made an unexpected move and put Sihra in Control.
She growled low in her throat, bitter. Having gone over every inch of the room twice, she now sat down to contemplate her next move, rubbing in irritation at her neck.
Control. As a child, Sihra had been Controlled quite often…that was normal. It was usual for a rakir mother or even father to grab a child about the neck to move them, or to give them a quick furious shake in discipline. Though she had not felt it since she was small, one did not forget the sensation. That grip on the neck and then an odd feeling of instant paralysis, your muscles going slack against your will, leaving you unable to move.
Sihra didn't know the science, of course, but it was not an unusual reflex action for many species across her world. Little gnarlek cubs went limp instantly when their mothers snagged them about the nape. It made sense- a squirming cub could not be easily carried and risked tearing itself open on its dame's razor sharp teeth.
Unlike those animals, however, the reflex did not die in a rakir, even when they were grown and mature. During war, soldiers would wear beaten metal guards around their necks- not only to protect against teeth and claws severing a vital artery, but to prevent their enemy from grabbing them and exerting Control. It was a societal taboo for one adult rakir to Control another for any reason other than a mutual mating fight- nearly as taboo as harming a child or a Stunted. It was the height of cowardice and dishonor to fight an enemy who could not fight back or who posed no credible threat. Still, war was war, and abominations often happened in the heat of battle.
The detrak, however, had only been confused. She had not seemed to understand what she'd done and had made no effort to harm or kill Sihra in the moments that she was unable to respond. In fact, she'd released her almost immediately. That told Sihra that the detrak did not have a Control response the way that the rakir did. She could not rely on that particular weakness, but now they knew of hers.
She was still thinking when something made a sharp beep noise, and the door opened. The Captain came in first, followed by the 'doctor' and half a dozen other detrak, all wearing armor and helmets. Sihra eyed them warily a moment before she fixed her gaze on Liara.
Without fear, the odd-head crouched in front of her and measured her with a cool gaze. "Prilekk, I offer you a choice."
The split second that passed between the detrak speaking and the Voice whispering in rakhani in her ear was small but irritating. Sihra rubbed at her ear with annoyance at the delay, before grunting.
"What choice is that?"
"We do not have to be enemies. You are strong, and I am strong. My people are strong. We wish you no harm but we will kill you if we must."
"Of course you will," she said. "I would expect no less."
"The ones that brought you here are very dangerous. They mean to kill a great many of my people, and others like us. They left you here to die and they will kill your people as well if they are not stopped."
"The rakir are strong, they will not succeed," Sihra said disdainfully.
"The rakir are strong, yes. But you are also plagued with Stunted, are you not?"
"The Affliction…yes," she said, then shook her head dismissively. "Your people are Afflicted as well. We will endure."
Liara's brows knit. "My people are not Afflicted."
"Of course they are. You have that Stunted doctor standing right there."
She glared toward Shepard, who only looked back. Liara shook her head. "Shepard is not Stunted…not as you understand it-"
"She is," Sihra told her impatiently. "She is sterile, and a doctor. It's obvious-"
"Shepard is sterile because of an accident," Liara replied. "And among our people, anyone can be a doctor if they learn and study…it is not based on our fertility."
Sihra stared at her in shock, then grunted. "Barbarians."
"Perhaps," Liara said. She smelled amused. Sihra didn't like the amusement.
"Where did you learn the silver fire?" she asked.
"Silver fire?"
"Yes, detrak! You used it to hold me still, to crush that thing on the wall. You should not be able to wield it. Where did you learn the silver fire?"
"Silver?" one of the helmeted males asked. "Biotics, I'm guessing? But biotics are blue."
"Her species may interpret colors differently than we do," Shepard told him. "They may even be able to see colors on the spectrum that our eyes can't detect. To her, biotics must appear silver."
"All of my people can use the silver fire," Liara said. "We call them biotics."
Sihra regarded this, turning it over in her head a moment before she asked, "What do you need of me?"
"We need you to help us, to fight with us," Liara said. "We need you to help us to find and stop the one who captured you and brought you here. If you do that, if you impress our leaders, they may allow us to bring you back to your home, barter a treaty with your Ubuut."
She laughed. "Why would he wish to treat with detrak? He will conquer you all with me directing his generals."
"If he treats with us, we can cure the Affliction," Shepard said suddenly. Liara glanced sharply at her but said nothing as she stepped forward, looking at Sihra.
"You lie! Our doctors and herbalists have tried for years to stop the Stunting of our fertile males! How can weak little detrak succeed where they didn't?"
"I bet that nose of yours is as strong as a bloodhound's," Shepard said softly, crouching beside Liara. "I bet you can smell a lie coming a mile away, can't you? Tell me, Prilekk. Am I lying to you?"
Sihra could smell far more than she liked. The detrak all had an oily, musky smell to them. All but Liara, who smelled of air and salt and open water. She could smell deeper than that too. It was how she knew that the doctor was the captain's levayha. They clearly had no experience masking their scents from others, each odor as clear as a spoken thought. No, she did not believe these detrak could truly lie to her…the lie itself would reek of bitter herbs.
"No."
"You help us," Liara said. "You help us to track her down, to fight. You stand in front of our leaders, having done that, and they will allow us to take you home. We can offer your Ubuut a cure for the Affliction, a treaty that binds all our peoples with yours as allies. There is much we can teach each other, Prilekk."
"If I refuse?"
Liara said nothing, but the smell was clear. If Sihra refused, she never saw home again. They intended to kill her.
She may have tried to fight them all, to escape and find her own way home…lead the Ubuut and his army right back here and raze the detrak people to the ground.
They all have the silver fire, she thought. Alone and unbound, she could have taken them, but she could not contest the silver fire. More, if they really could cure the Affliction, bring back the fertile males…Sihra was a soldier, but even she had seen the writing on the wall for years now. If they could not cure the Affliction her people were dead.
Finally, she nodded, and thrust her bound hands up toward Liara. "Unbind me, and I will help you."
Liara met her eyes, then nodded slowly. Wordlessly, she produced a key and unfastened the cuffs on Sihra's wrists.
