I'm Not Loving It Part 12
By Fujoshi a.k.a Otaku no Baka
This is unacceptable! I noticed that it's been over a month since I updated! What happened was the following:
Had more personal issues (Yes more,) So handling a court case. Found out I went to jail previously on false charges so fighting with the state about it.
My beta is having issues. I haven't talked to her in...almost a month now. I was and still am worried. Sent her all my chapters and she didn't beta them, so me and Miss Grey are doing all the work.
Birthday was on the 18th so I went to an Anime Con, then when I came back ended up with a cold. Still worked on parts despite that!
Been working odd jobs because mom lost part of the rent money
I need a beta in: French/Russian/etc. too many things. I am back to using shitty translators for everything which I hate with a passion.
Besides those things here is another massive update. I thank Grey for dealing with me acting insane and rambling. Also keep on voting on pairings for CANADA, ENGLAND, whoever since I am still keeping a tally on the people who leave votes in reviews~! Because Grey is helping me, Vash/Kiku are out. Sorry Greece/Japan and Austria/Swiss fans, I might make you guys a one shot in the future like the Prussia/America fans (yes I am STILL making that one story for it! It's in my laptop!)
Also for that one girl, Royal Puppet, I wanted to give a shout out because she disabled pms; I didn't hate your story, I was trying to give a good review. I actually enjoyed it since it was a decent piece of horror but I was used to Stockholm as being something that was long term and mentally disabling since I read stories about it before. I wasn't trying to offend you at all. Thank you.
Warnings: Phone sex, drunk Russia, telephone scatologia kink. I wanted to add more but the original chapter was 'deleted,' to put it mildly so I had to do this whole thing by scratch all over again. Also mentions the bombing that happened at the airport in Russia. Also this is beta by ME so expect shitty grammar. Grey is working on the other chapters because I have a lot, about ten parts I need to put out but I will re upload a better chapter of this when I can. For now here you go.
If I owned Hetalia there would be less weaboos in the world.
"Alfred F. Jones what the hell are you doing?"
"Nothing Arts!" America continued to ignore his brother as he played Ashalt racing, feet propped on the arm of the sofa.
England twitched; it seemed to be that his boy was coming up with more and more crude mundane nicknames for him through the ages.
America was spending time with half of his famil-the former colonies for the holidays. The only two that didn't show up were Ireland and Scottland, giving Arthur the one finger salute and a childish gift of pot and grit brownies that Canada gladly taken out of his hands.
"Don't you have a lover to spend time with America?" Francis teased and the young blond politely said that England would have bitched and cursed him if he missed another holiday get together.
Arthur wondered about his favorite former colony. The boy has been on edge for a while now, even more so than usual with his recession and country issues. He would look around in pure paranoia and constantly rush out when the meetings were over.
'Was it another Cold war? But that's impossible since that git Russia isn't a Superpower anymore and hasn't been doing anything out of the obvious.' The cold bastard country was the same as usual in England's eyes; annoying with a shit eating grin.
Actually he has been a bit too calm, giving helpful advice to other countries and no 'become one with me,' hints. 'Hmmmm...this sounds like a puzzle or-'
"Iggy, Peter wants you to help him with his new bike."
Francis clicked his tongue and England fumed. "Bloody idiot you are sitting on your arse so help your little brother!"
America only ignored him and continued to tap on his iphone. Before the British man could throw something, possibly one of the gifts that he bought, France was smooth as usual. "Ah L'Angleterre, why doesn't Mathieu help with Pierre hmmm?"
"Yeah the three of us should be able to make one bike and go around Isles." Hong kong rocked on his heels, sitting on the floor and glaring at the instructions. He didn't mind being here since he had nothing else to do and China was busy helping Japan with his New Year's celebration.
"Alright; Matthew is the good son after all." America felt those eyebrows and blocked out another rant and ramble by his former guardian. He didn't need to hear this crap on X-mas; he coulda been in one of his states than here in the rainy peninsula of hell...
'Hmm?' Alfred blinked at the text that beeped from his phone in the jingle of Transformers. He paused his game and switched over.
'…...' A blush flared up on his face and he almost jumped up and knocked the chair over.
England blinked, green eyes widening and all the other nations paused. "What's wrong you moron?"
"Nothing nothing I'm fine! I have to take this!" Alfred didn't hear how Arthur was complaining how he was an insensitive jerk and stood out on the porch.
America growled and punched in the familiar number, tapping his foot and glaring at the raindrops that splashed on the steps.
"Ah hello America! It is Chrismas time there da?"
"What the hell was that Red? Why did you send me that?"
Russia bit into the pencil that he had in his mouth. "I was as they say, 'giving my lover a gift in my place?'"
"Hell no! You coulda sent me a Mcds gift card or anything! You just said you wanted to see me in a red thong!"
Ivan almost chuckled and continued to balance the phone as he looked over his paperwork before Dez Monz. "So you would not do such a thing for me America? You did far worse."
"That's not the point! Stop sending me dirty text messages!" Alfred hung up on him and attempted to deal with the so call family reunion. He prayed to whatever god up there that he wouldn't eat England's cooking and that France would be in charge this year.
Unfortunate for Alfred, he had to deal all X-mas with various kinds of text messages. He almost choked on his dinner at the dirty picture Ivan sent of his 'gift package,' and called him while England, Hong Kong, and Sealand sung show tunes, with Matthew and Francis bowing their heads in shame.
"God dammit Russia stop this!"
"Ah but I miss you Alfred." The blond shivered at how Ivan said Alfred in that tone. "I wish you was here with me at the fire place but instead I am dealing with my boss, sister, and...Belarus." He definitely heard the fear in the last word.
"What the hell would you even do anyway?" America sighed and leaned against the wall.
A pink tongue licked slowly around vodka tasting lips. "Oh Alfred...I would do such naughty things since you have been a bad boy this year. Well there was that time that you gave me such big wide eyes and told me to make sweet love to you."
America remember that well since Russia made it a point to keep reminding him of that drunk incident. "God are you high or something?"
"Nyet...Da...well a little." Ivan knocked back some more vodka. "I did smoke a bit after Natayla tried to rape me again. She thinks in her simple mind that forcing me to have sex until Dez Monz is a wonderful gift."
Alfred didn't like how Russia was turning dark and creepy. "...Well I miss you too big guy...well a little..." No he wasn't going to give him the gift that he actually wanted to be there instead of here; playing in the snow.
"Mmmmmm I know; I wish you was here with your hand between my pants."
"Straight to pervert eh?" Oh well it was better than listening to gigs and Francis trying to distract England.
"Da...can't help it...you do things to me America." There was this breathless wheeze and Alfred paused and sucked in a breath.
"...Are you getting off over the phone?"
"...Nyet?" He heard it again and thought there was a hiss behind it.
"Ugh Red of all things-"
"Я не могу помочь ему поросенок я хочу принять вас теперь над креслом и иметь что-то греть меня вверх вместо этого cursive питья that' s, котор будет моя сторона с 1800s и не делает ничего остановить кошмары, только ваше тело и ваше тепло не делают эта fucking рука вниз с моих кальсон-"
Alfred bit his lip as he tried to translate the rushed and garbled Russian but didn't have time to ask when he heard the dial tone. "Damn...some of the stuff he said sound important." He didn't read the atmosphere but this was the rare times that he paid attention and heard desperation behind that voice.
"...Russia uses contractions when he's high?" You learn something new every day.
America sighed and fell out on the couch when he finally came back on the 30th. Lord that was a nightmare. When everyone got drunk but him and Peter kept comparing him to England and England telling him how he was going to turn into an old man like him he had it.
The buzzing of his phone rang out in the silent house, since Tony said he had to do something with his buddies until January. Something about 2012 and predictions. America almost ignored it until it kept buzzing and buzzing in his pants pocket.
He reached one lazy hand and brought it up to his ear. "Whaz?"
"America..."
"Russia? The fuck man?"
"Well I can't sleep so I decided to call you Piglet! Happy Dez monz!"
"Huh it's 31th there?" He wasn't over his jet lag yet.
"Da! And I miss you!" Ivan hiccuped and laughed. He drank all day and now was a giggling silly mess. Some youths tried to outsmoke him and outdrink him when he went out to celebrate the holidays but he was the oldest in this country, no the country itself! No humans could do that to him!
Great now America had to deal with a super wasted Russia. "Well what's up?"
"I want to have sex over the phone." Ivan slurred the word phone and Alfred sat up like a light.
"The fuck Vanya?"
"Over the phone~" There was that annoying giggle again and America almost rolled his eyes.
"I know that part you loon but I'm wondering why?"
There was a pause and America thought that the big guy passed out but there was the desperate hiss again.
"Because I want to hear your voice Piglet." Shuffling. "Your sunny voice, everything about your democracy gets me off."
America was at a loss for words but Russia continued to ramble. "I have an idea what this feeling is better now since that bitch rants about it so and I need to hear it, you moaning my name."
Ivan couldn't see the wall or his dark gloomy room beyond the colors and his own emotions. He gasped and tried to keep the phone between his shoulders as he continued to touch himself. "Al-fred~Ah...Ah...yes..."
America's face was on fire and he couldn't help but stare at the phone. He never did this before and found it creepy but wanted to hear Russia talk in that voice, dirty flithy words drifting into his ears.
"Alright."
"Are you touching yourself Alfred da?"
"DA!" Fuck how did it come to this? He keeps saying it every time Vanya ropes him into perverted bastardly things.
So today Alfred F. Jones was on the couch, pants off as well as shirt, jacket half way on his shoulders as he stroked the hardening cock between his legs. He barely had his smartphone between his sweaty shoulders as he heard those words that consume him.
"Vanya...ngh...I wish you was here, watching this..." He wanted those violet eyes, sycronizing his body, absorbing everything that he was doing. God he could get off on the nation's gaze alone.
"Da...I do too...lickings your lips at my gaze...my hand instead of your smaller one. Is there a lot of pre cum?"
"Yeah...using it so it won't chafe as bad." Fuck he was half hard all day when he was over Iggy's house and didn't have a moment to get himself off. He was going to just crash until Russia called and brought back all those wild emotions again.
"Little one, Piglet, I want you to do something." America felt his member jump at Russia's moan. "Slick up your fingers and stick them in your ass."
"Vanya..." 'It's...' "It's not the same as you."
Alfred definitely heard a curse in Russian. "I know, but it will do for now, so please do it."
America put his free hand in his mouth and slobbed on his fingers, two then three, before reaching around and trying to find his enterance. He hissed and ignored how his glasses finally slipped off and pushed one finger, then two inside wiggling. "Ah it's never enough, even if I put in a whole fist they are not as big as yours."
What the fuck was he saying? He couldn't stop the garbage coming from his lips, the wanton words. He haven't felt this desperate or needy ever.
"Da, I rather push my pulsing cock inside of that small hole and feel how your walls would clitch and draw me in wonderfully."
"Ah Vanya~" Russia almost dropped the phone at that moan. He sat up straight on his bed, ignoring the howls that could be his banchee sister. His grip on his manhood was tight and hard, a medicore imitation of that tight heat he was addicted to.
"I want you to find that spot, the spot that only I can reach, the one that I was the first to touch." The the fact that he was the only person to debauch the youth was threating to make his heart fall out in joy.
America panted, drool pooling onto the arm of his couch, as he probed and searched his anal walls. He gasped and moaned louder into the phone. "Found it." He pushed again and growled, adding two then three fingers. He was tempted to wrap a condom around his phone and fit that in there but continued to listen to the other nation.
"Image me taking you back into the garden and fucking you in front of all the sunflowers."
"But...But the neighbors; I still have a restraining order from the last time we did that."
"Ah yes, but you enjoyed it didn't you? Those eyes watching you with your lustful face."
"N...No..." America had his chin on the arm of the couch, panting and drooling, humping and grinding into the sofa, his glasses barely staying on his face. He was close and he knew it, spewing out more deviant and dirty words. "I only want you watching me when I come! Spraying out and cooling on my body!" Alfred swallowed, his throat feeling dry. "I'm addicted to your dick, your body, everything about you! I don't want anything else!" A flick on the head with his thumb is what all it took. "It's because I want you! I love you!"
Russia was off put by the confession; he bowed his head and gripped his dick hard, come shooting out to spray all over the comforter and floor. The Russian nation panted, hair sticking to his face as he hear the blond wail and come not too soon after.
America groaned; eyes closed and member still rubbing against the couch. Tony was going to kill him for getting stains on it but the realization of what he just said dawned on him. He knew that Russia wasn't going to let him live this down.
Alfred F. Jones decided once and for all that he had enough, even though his body was craving attention.
'Almost makes me sound like a nymphomaniac.' He didn't feel so heroic submitting to his wanton desires at the end after all.
Today he was waiting for his chance to go call Russia. They have been texting back and forth throughout his meeting with China, who kept insisting that since he was a superpower now and a threat, he would get the money owed to him.
He'll give it back; one day in the future. Maybe.
America pratically ran out the room during the break and into the bathroom, going into one of the stalls, sitting down. "Are you going to fuck yourself today little America?" Russia was at a meeting as well, bored out of his mind until now.
"No I don't have time for that." He already had the phone between his shoulders and a hand down his pants. "I just want to hear your voice while I get off." America bit his lip as he felt how excited he was already.
"Then hear it you shall-" Russia was cut off by an explosion as well as ringing. "Hold on." There was silence as he switched over, then cursing, then an argument. "I have to take this; sorry Piglet."
America stared at the phone as he heard more yelling followed the dial tone. 'Wonder what that was about?' He was concerned because he thought he heard the words 'explosion,' 'danger,' and 'what did those terriorist do now?'
Ashalt racing is an Iphone game
A show tune is a popular song originally written as part of the score of a "show." President Obama reportedly gave an Ipod loaded with 40 show tunes, to England's Queen Elizabeth II as a gift back in 2009.
Dez Monz is the Russian equivalent of X-mas if you didn't know by my other story. It happens around the end of December near New Years and can last til the middle of January. It has tons of drinking, partying as well as Dez Monz and his granddaughter, putting items under the Russian version of a tree called a fur.
Translation: Я не могу помочь ему поросенок я хочу принять вас теперь над креслом и иметь что-то греть меня вверх вместо этого cursive питья that' s, котор будет моя сторона с 1800s и не делает ничего остановить кошмары, только ваше тело и ваше тепло не делают эта fucking рука вниз с моих кальсон: "I can't help it Piglet I want to take you now over the couch and have something to warm me up instead of this cursive drink that's been by my side since the 1800s and does nothing to stop the nightmares, only your body and your warmth does not this fucking hand down my pants-"
Working on the next part and putting it out as you read this. Thanks again for you guys reviews and favorites! I am really shocked that so many people liked this on a whole ._.
