Dear God, what a difficult chapter to write!

Now it is here, and I think it gives hints about what is going to happen.

Next one is the last chapter; depending on how it goes, we'll have an epilogue.

Kisses to everybody and sorry again for the delay!

Review, if you please…

The marriage

Chapter 18: From heaven to hell and the way back

Niles sat heavily on the wooden bench at the front porch of his parents' house and put his hands over his face.

He was on the verge of tears, but didn't want to indulge in the feeling.

It was not a moment for despair.

Things could not be this bad, after all. If he breathed deeply and cleared his head, he would find that it was his mind playing tricks on him. The wedding was happening in three days, and his nervousness had to be at the root of all of this.

Yes, he was feeling extremely confused and had to get away from CC to calm down a bit; yes, he had his heart constricted as if in physical pain by the things that had transpired between them; yes, he had a feeling that something new and unsettling was coming over their relationship…

But tears would not help him.

Niles breathed deeply and started reviewing the last days. He hoped he could detect what, in the way that has brought him here, had gone wrong. With some luck, he could even mend whatever it was.

ncncncncncnc

It all started when he and CC arrived home after the dinner night with the Sheffields – the one when they used the need to change the wedding date to get some awesome stuff.

They had been celebrating madly since Fran had left them alone in the kitchen: once the former Nanny disappeared, CC run to him and they jumped in joy together, and she started kissing him as if her life depended on devouring his lips.

(They tumbled and almost fell to the floor, but fortunately the island was close enough for Niles to get a hold of it.

Babcock not even stopped kissing him. That woman could be so distracted by her passions!)

They had at least the decency of keeping it silent. That is why, when they entered the living room – Niles with the coffee tray –, some minutes later, absolutely composed and serious, Fran looked suspiciously at them. Maxwell, on the contrary, seemed to feel calmer and asked if they were really all right with the sudden changes.

They played it cool, but the truth was they felt as if they had gained a wonderful prize: they were free to think just about themselves and their wedding for the next two weeks, and then they had two weeks more just for the honeymoon – what was, technically, just to think of themselves again.

Of course, the couple had been talking about the wedding and feeling the growing excitement about it, but suddenly everything would happen two weeks earlier, and the surprise of it all let them in a state that could be described just by one word: euphoria.

ncncncncnc

Niles felt slightly better. The memory of that first night made him realize how absurd it was this feeling of dread, after such a beginning. CC and himself were absolutely ecstatic about everything.

They were celebrating. They were in sync, as always.

He looked at the big dogs, that came slowly closer to the porch. The animals looked at him, seemed to sense his sadness and came to lay down at his feet, keeping what seemed a respectful silence.

He patted their heads and rested his back on the wooden chair again. He was grateful for the company and the understanding, but at the same time, it made clear to him how stressed he really was: even the animals could feel it.

Niles smiled sadly. If it was any other day, he would run to throw some zinger at his wife, using this idea of animals and feelings. However, now he was so unsure of her reaction he could not take the notion seriously, and went back to his reminiscing.

ncncncncncnc

He remembered CC didn't want to sleep that night, when they reached the penthouse – she called the airport and made reservations for a very early flight, and then hung up and insisted they started preparing their bags.

Impressed by her energy, Niles helped her to organize things and make the penthouse ready for their long absence.

He went for his shower at almost four in the morning, somewhat grateful they had such a long trip ahead, so he would have time to rest.

(Of course, he was more than happy to oblige in such an amount of activity – preparing to travel with CC was incredibly fun, because she would always tease him for what he would want to take with him, for the way he folded neatly his clothes and tried to do the same with hers, for the need of taking Lemon Pledge with them in case England was lacking his favorite perfume, to the point he had to let go of his things for a while to chase her and make her take things back by playful menaces.)

Now he felt really tired, and could not wait to enter the plane and enjoy hours and hours of sleep.

When he got out of the bathroom, he couldn't take the goofy grin from his face while stretching and trying to choose something to wear for the airplane. He was happy that CC was so thrilled by the wedding to the point that something that should annoy her immensely, as this sudden change in date, had made her so motivated.

He put a robe on him and decided to look for her. Maybe she was in the kitchen, having the snack he had left prepared for her, once they would have to put a lot of food away.

Reaching the living room, he saw her at the sofa, her back to him.

Her blond locks were moving against her back, one of her hands messing with her hair, while the other was on her ear.

Niles sighed in awe. Every move of hers had him dazzled, even after almost two years together.

Who was he kidding? Everything about her had him dazzled, even after almost fifteen years of being around her.

He approached slowly.

Of course he still made jokes about the old themes; for example, her appetite: some minutes ago, he told her they could eat as much as they wanted, once they had to put the leftovers away, and at her doubtful expression (It's too much food, Niles), he had answered easily (Don't underestimate yourself, darling) and she playfully threw a slipper at him.

He still mocked her in a daily basis, and he loved doing it, but there were moments when all he could think of was how amazing she was.

Niles couldn't resist: he went to her, knelt behind the sofa, closed his eyes to breath in her scent, put her hair aside with his hand and kissed her nape soundly.

She gasped in delight and giggled, 'Stop it, Niles! I'm on the phone!'

He opened his eyes and let go, getting up, 'Oh, sorry'. Sometimes he could get really carried away…

'That's OK', she smiled at him and went back to the phone, now visible in the hand that was on her ear, 'Yes, Marie, it was him. Right, I'll tell him. Oh, you know how he is… Well, I'm glad you understand my reasons. Thank you for the help, again. Kisses to you and Pete. Bye'.

She put the phone on the center table and turned to him. Niles was frozen.

She could barely hide her smirk, 'Your mother sent you a kiss'.

'W-w-what… W-w-why?'

'Are you asking What does that mean? or Why were you talking to my mother? ?

He blinked, 'Both!'

'Oh, well, I waited for a reasonable time and called your parents to tell them we are going to England, that the wedding had been advanced in two weeks for the sake of Nanny Fine's spawn and to ask for some days off in London before we go to their house'.

He just blinked again, as if he was waiting for her to continue. CC moved and knelt on the sofa, pulling him to her by the robe and pecking his lips, 'Marie was a bit surprised, but not too much. She said she was ready for something like this, once our lives are so close to the Sheffields and Fines. She will see to the church and to the other services, and we have as many days as we wish of sightseeing before we engage ourselves in the final details'.

He couldn't help but stammer again, 'S-sightseeing?'

She was running her hands on the front of his robe and sounding very reasonable, 'You never took me to see London. I think we should do it while they take care of the most boring things', CC bit her lower lip before adding, 'And I think they would like to deal with the changes by themselves. If we arrived there in a hurry, it would seem we don't trust them'. She looked at him with big innocent eyes, 'Don't you think I'm right?'

Niles leaned his head and grinned at her, feeling the moment was not for wit, but for a sincere compliment, 'Wow… How efficient of you!'

'Someone has to be the thinker, baby', she said, caressing the tip of his nose in a patronizing way, 'Let me take care of everything'.

ncncncncnc

Thinking again, Niles was sure whatever had gone wrong, was not there yet. They had come to England when she wanted, they had stayed in the hotel she chose, and it was clear she was enjoying herself a lot.

Of course, it could be that she was tired of him being at her disposal and agreeing with everything she decided…

Nah. Now he was sounding crazy. Wondering if CC Babcock was tired of being in control was preposterous, to say the least.

However, it must have been after they arrived… But what?

ncncncncncnc

Those first days in London were absolutely delightful: they did some sightseeing, but the most of the time they spent in their hotel room, taking advantage of the five star service.

CC seemed especially enchanted by the British food. As much as she had gone to England before, she declared that with Niles there, making the culinary recommendations and explaining the cultural aspects of dishes, she had found a new pleasure in trying things.

Of course, those days were not just about food: they had sex and ate and had more sex and talked about the wedding and they had more sex and she chose strange combinations of food and they had fun with all of that as if there was no tomorrow.

They had fits of laughter over her types of hungriness and made jokes about how insatiable she was in every sense and how lucky she was she had married a cook that was a stud, too.

His mother had called them to inform that everything was under control and that they could have their fun for the rest of the week, if they wished. A good part of the new necessary arrangements for the weeding had been made, and they could do the rest in the last week.

So, they lived in a particular heaven, with no worries and no problems at all.

Until the morning of day five.

Niles had woken up very early and got out of the room without calling CC. He wanted to make a surprise to her, buying a sweet delicacy they had discussed the previous night – one she had mentioned never really liking. He defended that she had not tried it as it must be done, and she had sounded doubtful.

He wanted to have it for her when she woke up, in a special breakfast.

Niles gave a stroll by the blocks next to their hotel, enjoying the early morning and feeling like walking on the clouds. That feeling that he had been blessed took him strongly, and he knew he must have had the appearance of a fool, his face and irritating good mood showing how happy he was.

When he got back, humming, the package of food in one hand and some flowers in the other, he opened the door of their room to find a very distressed CC Babcock, arms crossed over her chest, standing in the middle of the living room.

Niles could swear there was a foot stomping, and he deduced something had happened while he was away and she was furious. Maybe the hotel staff had woken her up for nothing, or she had remembered something business related she needed to do before the trip and had forgotten completely...

(He knew she was really out of character for not talking about work for such a long time, but after his face at her when some random investor had called, day two, she had been at her best behavior).

He closed the door and came to greet her, noticing she was pale, 'Good morning, witch. What's going on?'

'Where were you?', she stretched her arms to keep him at arms' length, refusing the kiss he was ready to give her and glaring.

Niles stopped and looked at her hands, surprised. He realized that the stomping foot was for him. He brought his eyes to her face, 'I… went out to buy you this…', and he showed her the package in his hand, 'You mentioned it yesterday, and I thought…'

'Oh!', she exclaimed, suddenly excited, trying to take the package, 'What is it?'

He didn't let her, putting it out of her reach, 'First, my good morning kiss, wench'.

She smiled and came to his arms, kissing him sweetly and taking the package while he was distracted, 'Sucker!', she said and run to the kitchen.

Niles walked after her, and saw her opening the package and letting out a pleasured 'Ah' at the contents.

'Why don't you take a seat while I prepare the table for us?', he asked, arranging to put the ignored flowers on a vase.

She agreed, excited as a child, and he started preparing the breakfast for them.

They made small talk for a while, Niles commenting things he had seen in the streets, she throwing zingers his way, talking about how absurd some of the English things were – and how they made her think of him.

They ate their breakfast (she admitted the delicacy was really good the way he prepared it) and, when he started putting the used things away, he playfully took her unfinished plate with him.

'What the hell do you think you are doing?!', she angrily asked.

Niles was surprised by the change in her tone: she had been talking about some British thing she had seen on TV once, then she saw her plate in his hand and she sounded offended as Maxwell would when someone said Phantom was the best musical ever.

He turned to her, trying to tease, 'I wanted to prevent you from not fitting in your wedding gown'.

She glared at him, 'I don't get it'.

She seemed really annoyed, and he put the plate back, 'Your weight, woman. We can't risk a new unexpected thing happening to this wedding, can we?', when she didn't react, he explained further, 'Like you not fitting in your gown'.

'I didn't pick a gown, yet', she answered in the same angry tone.

'I know. I was just joking', he frowned.

'It was lame', she answered back, going back to the food and seemed determined to ignore him.

Niles kept observing her for some moments, not knowing what to say or do. She usually got his jokes quickly, and she didn't mind them anymore. What had happened? Was he so off the mark?

'What are you looking at?', she asked, throwing him a look full of contempt.

Startled, he turned away quickly, 'Nothing… I… was just wondering…'

'Wondering what? For God' sake, just say it!'

There was no way he was going to say he found her behavior strange, now, 'I was wondering if…', he turned to her, 'if you really liked the recipe, now…'

Suddenly, she got up, almost knocking her chair to the floor, 'I have already told you I liked it! Why would I lie about such a thing?! What is the problem with you?!'

She cleaned her mouth with a napkin, threw it on the table and got out of the room hurriedly.

Niles looked at the empty chair, frowning. It seemed like he was missing something, here.

He hesitated, looking at the interior of the hotel room – maybe he should follow her and confront her about it. They had had misunderstandings, before, and they had always managed to clarify them – or, at least, to feel better about the subject, yelling at each other.

But, in this case, he really didn't know what was wrong. He didn't know what there was to yell about.

All the same, he let go of the breakfast things and went after her. He had never felt intimidated by her crazy antics – it would not start now.

Niles entered the bedroom and saw CC standing there, next to a window. She was looking through it, attentively.

So attentively, in fact, that he approached her and put his hand on her shoulder before she gave him any attention.

To his surprise, instead of snapping at him, she just used her head to point at the glass, 'I saw you into the reflection, moron'.

'You saw the face of a blue eyed man floating into thin air and deduced it was me', he smirked, caressing the skin his hand could reach on the side of her neck, 'Well, it wouldn't be the first time people have mistaken me by an angel… But from you, I'm surprised'.

She smiled, 'You should be. I have already said you're no angel'.

He came to stand by her side, taking her smile and the permission to maintain the hand on her as a truce, and decided not to press on the subject of her previous actions, 'What were you looking at?'

'Nothing in particular'.

Suddenly worried again, Niles opened his mouth to ask if she had come to the bedroom just to get away from him, but she resumed, 'However, I saw the restaurant over there and remembered we were to go back and try some other specialties'.

He remembered they had gone there for their first dinner in London, before they could do any shopping or get any good ideas from the hotel offerings, and had a hard time choosing what to eat, so many interesting options were in the menu. That was how the culinary subject first appeared, in fact, and Niles was happy she wanted to go back to the place where it all started, 'Do you want to have dinner there, tonight?'

'Maybe lunch. I still don't know. It was just a passing thought', she went a step away from him and slapped his arm, 'Ugh! Do we have to decide everything so early?!'

He took her hand before she could recoil it, 'No, witch, we don't have to decide it now. I was just asking, you crazy woman'.

'I'm not crazy', her eyes had a sudden fire, 'Even if you keep trying to madden me'.

Niles was still not sure if the fire was a positive one, but he decided to take the risk. He grabbed her by the waist and brought her to him with one hand, while the other let go of her hand and went mockingly to his ear, 'Sorry, I think I've heard you wrong. What were you saying about your specialty?'

'What?'

'Maidens'.

It was clear on her face that she couldn't decide how to react: he could see the wavering emotions crossing it – she could grin or bark at him at any moment.

To amplify the confusion, her hands went to his shoulders as if to caress him, but then gripped at him as if she wanted to dig her nails on his skin through the t-shirt he was wearing.

Niles decided for her, walking into her direction and, as he had predicted, forcing her to walk backwards until they reached the bed. When they got there, their eyes locked, he felt she was using him for balance, and took her by the arms as if to push her to the mattress.

He wouldn't really do it; he didn't want her to think he was throwing her on the bed. He was a gentleman, after all, and they were not in the middle of something that justified it as the lustful move it could be.

She didn't like the menace and grabbed him tighter, 'Let go of me, Tidy Bowl Man'.

He couldn't help but smirk at the contradiction between her words and her actions, 'Really, Babcock?'

She gripped him even stronger and shook him a bit, 'I said Let go'.

'Uhmpf. That's the best you can do?'

'I can do worse!', she took her hands from his shoulders and slapped his chest with her palms.

'You always can do worse, Babs. What's the news?', he answered, amused by her actions and a bit aroused by her way of palm him almost painfully.

'You damn excuse of a… Argh!', she intensified the beating, so furious she was not able to form a sentence.

He felt the old pull of infuriating her, 'What is it? Have you forgotten the right words for an enchantment?'

Her punching got even more furious, and Niles felt that this sparring partner thing was getting a bit too sexy for him; so, he took her wrists to stop her.

Surprised, she struggled as if to pull him down and, feeling what she intended, he let her have her way. The result was she threw herself on the bed and pulled him over her.

Probably she didn't have the foresight to prevent him from unceremoniously straddling her.

When she realized the predicament, CC tried to change their positions, and soon they were positively wrestling.

Niles started to feel again the arousal. The desire of having the upper-hand was not new between them, but it had never been taken so seriously to the level of physical struggle.

He was looking for ways to dominate her without hurting her in any way, and soon managed to pin her down, smirking at her.

CC, disheveled and huffing furiously, hissed, 'I'm telling you, Hazel, if you don't let me go…'

'What? You'll say my jokes are lame?', he knew it was a dangerous territory, but he couldn't help it. He was still a bit confused and hurt by what she did in the kitchen.

She trashed a bit more, again at a lack of a good answer, her leg brushed the front of his trousers and she stopped suddenly, 'Hey…'

He stopped, too, worried that she was really uncomfortable, 'What?'

She smirked, 'You're enjoying it, aren't you?'

Niles looked down at her, surprised at her sudden amusement, 'What? Being on top?', he asked with fake innocence, even if both could feel his arousal where their bodies touched. He would not be the one to point out that such a struggle turned him one.

She kept looking at him and moved her hands free. He let them go and she reached slowly to his trousers to caress his cock through them.

He didn't find what to say, because he was a bit out of breath and suddenly she didn't seem so furious. On the contrary: it was as if she had suddenly remembered he had something she enjoyed.

Niles moved a bit to adjust himself, because things were going a bit uncomfortable for him: he was really turned on, and it felt somewhat wrong, once they were in the verge of a real fight, moments ago.

CC seized the opportunity to move, too, and pulled him down to the bed, throwing a leg quickly between his and maintaining him under her.

Now it was CC who was grinning, and when he frowned at her and opened his mouth to speak his annoyance at her maneuvers, she started to quickly open his trousers, 'Shut up, Niles'.

He looked at her face, 'You can't shut me up'.

'Wanna bet on it?', the trousers went to his knees and he hissed at her nails, that scratched his thighs deeply.

'Physical violence is unfair', he said between gritted teeth.

'Yeah, it is, and that's just one of the reasons why I'll use it'.

'Babcock', he warned and took her hair to make her look at him.

He almost regretted the harsh gesture, but then he saw the look of lust on her face, remembered the rough side and didn't know how he felt about it anymore.

'Take it as a man, Niles', she said, looking him in the eye and showing the amount of arousal his manhandling did to her by the deep breathes she had to take in order to talk, 'I ordered you to shut up, and that's what you'll eventually do, no matter how much you try not to. We both know who is the boss, here'.

'I am not going to…'

He started the phrase, but was never able to finish it, because she took his hand away from her hair and, in a swift move, took his member in her mouth.

Niles was really not able to form a coherent phrase, for a while. She was being forceful and very effective, doing the things she knew were too much for him.

He still felt as if it was somewhat wrong, because it was harsh and hungry and aggressive as if they were at odds with each other and needed to focus all of their fury.

It made him remember some fantasies he had about her, before they got together: he often had wondered what could have happened if he had pissed her of so greatly she would have pushed him against a wall and made him shut up with her lips.

It was more or less what had happened that night in the Sheffields' living room. They were arguing and then they were kissing ferociously, and that helped to maintain the tension under control for a while…

But, after the marriage, it hadn't happened again. Yes, they had been sometimes hungry, and quick (their first time was an example), but there was never fury or annoyance on it. It was never as if they were making up… The few times they made up with sex it was a new reassurance of love and tenderness, not that furious thing.

That was when Niles realized what they were doing was adding a new modality to their style of making up sex. One that included all the frustration and maybe wrath they had felt for each other…

He forced himself to go away from her reach, getting to a sitting position and resting his back against the headboard. He wanted her, badly, but he didn't know if he was all right with the style.

She looked up at his face, 'What the hell are you doing?'

Second time she uses this phrase in one morning…, 'If you want me, come and get it. But do it the way it must be done'.

He didn't know exactly what he meant, and he never had the time to think. CC squinted and crawled closer to him, over his body, 'You don't make the rules, Niles'.

He felt his blood boil at that and tried to get rid of his trousers, 'Neither do you, Babcock'.

She didn't let him deal with his still clothed legs, coming to straddle his thighs and pushing him against the headboard with her hands on his chest, 'What do you want?'

Niles looked at her for some moments, feeling irrational and wanting to provoke her, 'Come and fuck me, CC', he frowned at her, 'And do it right'.

Her face was directly before his, and he felt all the venom in her deep voice, 'You'll regret it'.

Her snarling aroused him even more, 'What? Think you can't take me?'

Her eyes were going between his eyes and his lips; she had her mouth settled in a disgusted line; her breathing was ragged as if she was ready to attack him.

That look was something Niles had learned to recognize – that was CC dealing with the twisted way he was able to arouse her.

Suddenly she plunged on him, kissing him wetly, her tongue invading his mouth with no gentleness, making his mind reel and all preventions against their behavior go away.

Niles could sense her movements while kissing him, and realized she was taking off her pants.

She suddenly stopped, turned around, straddled him again and guided him inside her, and then her moans and yells were all he could hear, while looking at her back, that still had a light shirt on.

She used her knees for leverage and Niles could barely move, his legs still trapped by his trousers, and now for her weight. She gave the rhythm and the intensity of the sex, and he had to grab the sheets to not react too much at the mix of pain and pleasure, because she was riding him heavenly, but her nails still scratched his thighs from time to time, and sometimes her hands would take his balls and massage/squeeze them in sync with her moves.

CC took her shirt off in the middle of it, and Niles' body wanted her instinctively closer to him. He pulled her to him to kiss and lick that sexy back, and then he found himself grazing it with his teeth and nails, what made her yell even more.

It couldn't last much time, and soon she arched her back and both were coming, with guttural sounds, some hair grabbing and a lot of open mouthed kisses.

When the trembling of the wave of pleasure was over, CC let herself relax with her back on his clothed chest, sighing with satisfaction.

She searched for his hands and took them, putting them on her tummy. The gesture was full of tenderness, 'I think I'll want to have lunch there'.

'Uhm?', he planted a kiss on her cheek and asked, trying to keep pace with her mind while marveling in the softness of her abdomen and her heat against him.

'In the restaurant across the street. We can stay in bed like this and then go there to eat at midday'.

'Oh. All right', he moved a bit, 'May I at least take off my clothes, now?'

'Not yet', she giggled, 'I've found it very sexy'.

ncncncncnc

Now, thinking in retrospect, he should have known something was wrong.

The signals were there… even the make-up sex… It was like they were making up all the time…

While she dozed off on his lap, that morning, Niles thought that maybe all of this was his fault: if he hadn't had the stupid idea of going out without warning her, maybe she wouldn't have reacted that way, and wouldn't need to feel like she was in charge, again. What if she had felt abandoned? That was not something you want to feel when you are going to get married!

That is why he decided not to mention her changes in behavior. It was probably his fault, and he hoped he had mended it.

ncncncncncnc

The rest of that same day proved things were not mended.

They went out for lunch, and the strangest things kept happening.

CC had her eyes shinning all the way to the restaurant, chatting about how London was really beautiful and charming and joking about her surprise over Niles' lack of similitude to it.

She winked at him and held his hand stronger, while saying this, and he was sure they were all right.

They chose a table next to a window and kept talking about this and that, until their orders arrived.

When they did, Niles thanked the waiter and started eating, 'God, I'm really hungry'.

CC frowned, 'Why didn't you tell me? We could have come earlier'.

'I just noticed now', he shrugged.

'Did you think I would not agree if you had asked me to?'

Niles stopped and looked at her. She seemed really bothered. He took a sip of his water, 'Of course you would agree if you saw me famished. It was just not the case'.

'Are you sure?'

He was impressed by the distrust in her eyes, squinted at him, 'Of course. You must remember that I have developed a good endurance, once I'm living with a person that doesn't care to leave any leftovers'.

She didn't waver, 'I'm serious here, Niles'.

He took her hand, 'I can see that. And I'm saying you don't need to. Just relax and enjoy your meal'.

She pouted, 'I'm not hungry anymore', she noticed him throwing a look over her shoulder, 'What are you looking at?'

'The Four Knights of Apocalypse. I still keep thinking one of theses days you'll make them appear with your words'.

He was giving her that lopsided grin that usually made her melt, but today she just took her hand away and glared, 'Are you sure you're expecting a bunch of men to come over? All I can see are the waitresses strolling around'.

Niles was wide-eyed at that, and his voice showed how scandalous the thought seemed to him, 'Babcock! We are going to marry in some days!'

'We're already married'.

'You know what I mean…'

'You would not be the first married man to…'

'Stop it, CC. Please'.

She knew things were serious when Niles asked her to do something using her name. So, she raised her hands, calling a truce, and started picking at her meal.

After some moments seeing her just move things around in her plate, Niles offered, 'Do you want me to ask people to re-heat it?'

She just shook her head, dismissing him.

She barely ate and seemed contemplative for the rest of the meal. Niles respected her silence, hoping she was trying to understand, as hard as he was, why she was so different towards him.

When they got out of the restaurant he dared to hold her hand, mainly to show her he was there if she wanted to talk.

She stopped walking, looked at their joined hands, at him, and hugged him fiercely.

Niles couldn't believe it: CC was crying on his shoulder, in the middle of a sidewalk in London, one week before their wedding day.

He calmed her down the best he could. It was not an easy task when he had no idea what was going on.

When she stopped crying, she looked at him again, 'I don't want to go back to the hotel room'.

'No?', he softly asked, maintaining her in his arms. He almost feared she would run away.

'No', she sniffed.

'Where do you want to go?'

'I don't know. Just want to…', she made a vague gesture.

He nodded, 'What do you think of renting a car and going to see the region?'

'That would be great!', she beamed.

'Good. Go wash your face in the restaurant restroom while I use their phone to call a rent agency'.

'Am I that hideous?', she asked, suddenly worried.

He pecked her lips, 'No, dumpling. I just think you'll feel refreshed'.

'Oh, right'.

And that was how they spent the rest of their day in a beautiful trip around London, seeing some of the suburbia and having a lot of fun.

When they were back to the apartment, they had the most romantic love-making of the entire week: Niles had gone to the sofa and CC came to lay down with him. Soon they were kissing leisurely, then she started to slowly take off their clothes, and then she rode him slowly and sensuously and he lost track of the time they spent just savoring the feeling of each other while kissing with tenderness.

He found it just natural when, in the afterwards, she asked to go to his parents' house the next day, saying she felt ready to start the 'wedding thing'.

ncncncncnc

He thought things would get better, but then she maintained the schizophrenic behavior.

She would be nervous and anxious before his parents, and sometimes happy, and then they would be alone, and she would treat him as if anything she felt was his fault. And then they would make up and she would be really sweet again.

He kept not commenting at her behavior, because things were always back to normal for a while, and he guessed maybe that was her way of dealing with the anxiety of the last days before the wedding.

His theory seemed to be proven by her refuse to choose the wedding gown in the first days at his parents' house. It seemed she just wanted to enjoy those last days, as if they were in a kind of vacation.

His mother noticed CC's moods, but never said a word – Niles convinced Marie to just keep her company until the decisions could not be delayed anymore, saying his wife would, for sure, be back to her old self in no time.

ncncncncncnc

The arrival of the Sheffield family, when they had just three days until the wedding, was Niles' last hope that things would get better. Those people could bring a sense of normalcy to that blonde hurricane, in his worried mind.

He knew his hopes were dashed when he went to their bedroom to take a coat in order to go to the airport and found her sitting on the bed, reading.

'Aren't you coming with me?', he asked her, going closer to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.

'I don't remember being invited'.

'You were there when they called… Wait, what?', he took the coat and put it on. Realizing she was looking at the book, pretending she was reading, he started trying to button the coat, and noticed his hands were shaking badly. He gave up and looked at her, 'Babcock… Would you like to come with me?'

She kept looking at the page, 'You wouldn't want to keep them waiting'.

Niles clenched his fists, 'I don't care about them waiting. If you say you want to come, I'll wait for you as much as it is needed'.

That made her look at him, and she seemed to register his seriousness, 'Oh, ok! I'm going!'

ncncncncnc

They had gone together to the airport, CC in a great mood, and it lasted until half their trip back. Then, someone mentioned the wedding and how exciting it must be, she answered half-heartedly and fell silent.

Luckily for Niles, there were a lot of people in Peter's van – Maxwell, Fran, Maggie, Michael, Brighton, Grace, Sylvia, Morty, Yetta, Val and Freddy (a pharmacist she was very serious about) – and the conversation went on and on.

Unluckily for Niles, Fran noticed something was going on, and he had to send her a silent plea through the review mirror, so she wouldn't ask any embarrassing questions.

ncncncncnc

They had arrived today, and everybody dined together. There was a sense of happiness in the air, everybody celebrating their wedding and chatting amiably.

CC was still eerie silent, barely engaging in the conversations. She even excused herself and went to their bedroom earlier than him.

When Niles retired, there she was, in the bed, the damn book on her hands. He wondered how that page had not turned into fire, as much as she was glaring at it.

He decided not to talk to her now. He was still a bit giddy from all the attention in the dinner, and it was wiser to brush his teeth and maybe taking a shower before facing her.

Once he got out of the bathroom, she was in the same position. 'Feeling better?', he asked, and noticed he sounded like he was mocking her.

She didn't seem to notice and neither looked at him, 'I was not feeling bad'.

'It would be new', he murmured, sitting besides her legs and resting a hand delicately on her knee.

'What did you say?', she looked at him, as if he was an annoyance.

'I said it would be new if you were not feeling like being bad', he smiled, 'Especially because you have been pretending to read this book for days, now. In my book, this counts as being bad'.

'I am not pretending', she said decisively, closing the book.

'I don't see your reading glasses, and you always wear them when you are up for relaxing reading', his hand went to take the book away, did it, and then took her hands on his, 'Yesterday you were wearing nothing but the sheets, when I came from our bathroom. I hoped tonight you would be wearing just the glasses'.

Her angriness seemed to falter for a moment, but then she snatched her hand away, 'I'm not to blame for your fantasies'.

His smile kept on, 'Oh, yes, you are'.

Niles noticed she seemed confused, now, and took a chance. He sat closer to her and let go of her hands. One of his went to her side, around the waist, to palm it, and the other helped him to balance when he brought his face closer to hers, 'I've missed you down there'.

He didn't kiss her, he just stayed very close, letting his breath reach her lips. CC closed her eyes for a moment, controlling a shiver, and opened them again, 'So, what took you so long?'

'We are the hosts', he softly answered, his eyes on her lips, 'It is expected at least one of us stay with the guests until they retire'.

'No one can force me to…'

'Shush', he said, very lowly, 'I stayed for us. There is no problem'.

'Then why did you bring it on?'

'To make you answer to me', he went even closer and rubbed his nose on hers, 'See how it worked?'

His grin was ripped off his face when she pushed him and got up from the bed, 'You have no idea how infuriating you are!', she exclaimed.

Niles smirked, looking at her and waiting for the punch line. It was not as if she was being sincere – he was the softest he could, this time!

However, she kept looking at him, trembling in fury, visibly getting more and more annoyed.

Niles went serious, and then worried. There was a moment of incomprehension, between them.

CC huffed and turned, going to the bathroom.

Niles couldn't stay in the room anymore. He had to get out of there.

ncncncncnc

He didn't know exactly why he had chosen the porch. Probably he wanted to go to some place no one would go so late.

Or it was the place in the house where you end when your eyes are so misty you just walk ahead without thinking.

To his surprise, Fran appeared after some time. Niles observed while she negotiated space with the dogs. They eventually gave away and went to the patio, while she sat besides him and kept silently throwing him a look of pity.

'Miss Fine… What are you doing here?', he tiredly asked.

'I was in the kitchen for a late night snack and saw you passing by. Something troubling you?'

'Yes'.

'You two had a fight?'

'No'.

'Uhmmm… Very informative, buddy'.

'Oh, well… we didn't really have a fight, but… she has been a bit… nervous'.

'Over the wedding?'

'I don't know'.

'Have you asked?'

'No'.

'Why?'

'I… always know what she wants… At least, I used to…'

'And now you can't get what is happening?'

He just nodded.

'Wouldn't it be better if you simply asked?'

Niles' eyes were full of water in a second, and Fran put her hands on his. 'What's the problem, sweetie?'

'I'm afraid… her answer will… end everything'.

'Have you done something…?'

'No! At least, not that I know of. I mean… What else could it be? She must think I did', he looked away, 'She hates me again!'

And with that she had to pull him to her, because it seemed she couldn't stand seeing a grown man cry like that without doing anything.

When he was able to talk again, he said, 'I just don't know what to do with myself… It seems everything I do is wrong… And it is not all the time… Sometimes she behaves like an angel, but I think she is just pretending. I think… we're over, and she doesn't want to deal with it, as much as I don't'.

Fran went away to look him in the eye, 'You know it makes no sense, don't you?'

'It does… She has hated me for a lifetime… She tried to change it, it worked for a while, but now she can't do it anymore… the wedding made her think of it… and she…'

He was choked, and Fran pulled his head to her shoulder, 'Oh, Niles, please! Listen to yourself – you don't want to deal with it because you love her and are afraid of loosing her, but she doesn't because she wants to go away?'

He said a muffled, 'Yes'.

Fran shook her head, 'She was the one who wanted to marry you in the first place, and now she was really excited with this wedding thing!', again, Fran noticed he calmed down and pulled back enough to look him in the eyes, 'If she had changed her mind about something you did, don't you think she would be hanging it over your head by now? What is her gain in hiding something she could use to torment you?'

That was enough to make him give her a small smile, 'Maybe you're right'.

'Of course I am!, Fran looked fondly at him, Who would say, Scarecrow, that you would be having kittens because you thought that maybe Miss Babcock was not crazy in love with you?'

He gave her a shaky smile for that, 'Please, Miss Fine, don't tell anyone. I'm sure it is just a phase, and soon I'll figure out what to do'.

Fran glanced at his watch, got up and stretched, 'Wow, it's late', she noticed he had his eyes fixed on her, waiting for her answer to his pleading, 'Ok, sweetie, I can promise I'll wait until tomorrow. But, if things don't get really better, I'll do something'.

He sighed, 'That's fair enough'.

Fran squeezed his shoulder and went into the house.

ncncncncnc

Niles didn't know how much time he spent trying to get his courage to enter the house and go back to the bedroom. He supposed it was a lot of time.

Even thinking it was a bit ridiculous, and trying to focus on Fran's words, it was hard to make a decision. CC had been changing moods lately, and the odds were to his favor (she would usually be in a great humor after the worst ones), but he would still have the lingering feeling that something was… different. The he was missing something really important.

The unsaid words were haunting him and, at the same time, he knew he could not say them.

He was dying to enter that room, take her in his arms and heroically ask, while looking deeply into her eyes, 'Say you don't love me anymore! Say you don't want me in your life!'

However, he was so afraid she would look back and simply say, 'Thank God! You've finally noticed!', that he couldn't even move.

Niles rested his head on the back of the armchair. So, he was frozen in fear. Fear from Miss Babcock, after all they had come through. What did it say about him?

That pain that was almost physical was back, and he pressed his lips together, clenching his hands. He would not cry again.

One of his clenched hands went to his mouth, his eyes were fixed on the dark horizon. He tried to focus on the beauty of it: with calm, he could solve anything. He just had to breath deeply and…

The front door opened quickly, and CC appeared.

Not angry, not annoyed. Just distressed.

She looked at him, her eyes getting even wider than they already were when she arrived.

Niles followed her with his eyes while she came to sit besides him and looked at his face as if she was analyzing it.

After some time, she blinked, 'So… She told the truth…'

'Who?'

'Nanny Fine', CC shook her head slightly, 'I made you cry'.

Niles gulped, 'She talked to you? But she said she would wait until tomorrow…', he frowned and looked at his watch. It was almost half after midnight, 'Oh… It is already tomorrow'.

CC nodded, understanding, 'I was… reading, and she entered and told me how upset and miserable I was making you, treating you badly and making you feel guilty about something you didn't know what was'.

Niles gave her a half smile, 'She was against guilt?'

CC waved it off, 'She said guilt without focus is waste'. Then, she put a hand on his cheek, 'What have I done to you, Butler Boy?'

His eyes were pooled with tears before he was able to control it, and he could not talk through his constricted throat. Niles just shook his head, as if dismissing the notion.

She was taking his face on her hands and making him look her in the eye quicker than he could react, 'Tell me, Niles. What is so wrong you can't tell me? You always tell me everything! This is scaring me!'

That hit him, 'You?! Do you think this is scaring you?!', he took her hands away from him, 'You hate me again and you think this is scaring for you?!'

CC kept looking at him while he got up and gave some steps away from her, 'What do you mean by hating you again? Where this idea came from?', she got up to face him.

Niles opened his arms in despair, 'You are back to not answering my insults! You are back to getting annoyed by every thing I do, even when I try to be nice! I spent more than a decade seeing you do that, and I know what it means!', his arms went down and he shrugged sadly, 'I just never thought I'd see it in your face again…'

'I don't hate you', she said with conviction, coming closer, 'Maybe I never did. So, it never meant anything, and means even less now that we are together. How could you think something like that?'

'Can't you hear me? You have been treating me so bad, the last days, that it is obvious you can't stand me anymore!'

She came closer again, enough to rest a hand over his heart, 'Niles, listen to me. This relationship can't go ahead if the two of us behave as lunatics. This is my role, and I won't permit you to steal it from me'.

Niles looked at her hand and then at her serious face, and relaxed a bit, 'Are you sure? You know, you can tell me…'

'What?', she asked softly.

He gathered all the courage he could, 'If you don't want the wedding… or… me, anymore'.

'Oh, Butler Boy, stop it!', CC's hand went to caress his face, 'I loved you when you were just an ugly, old and pathetic maid. I love you even more now that you are my husband, and I'm so sorry I let my temper get the best of me!'

That made him finally relax, 'Oh, Babcock, you…'

He had every intention of finishing that sentence, but couldn't find the proper words to express his relief at recognizing her again. He advanced and kissed her – Niles just wanted to feel again all the warmth and sweetness he was missing from her in the last days.

When they parted, he noticed she was smiling, 'I can't believe I'm in debt with Nanny Fine'.

Niles was not able to resist – he had really missed the tender side of their relationship – so, he pulled her delicately closer to him and rested his forehead on hers, closing his eyes, 'Uhm?'

'She went to our room to call me to my senses. I hadn't realized how mean I have been to you. I think I owe her big'.

He went back and looked at her, 'Oh, well, it is only fair that she helps us. I mean, Miss Fine got the man of her dreams, and now I've got the man of mine', he was smiling, but noticed her light discomfort, 'Sorry – old dog, new tricks'.

She shook her head and looked away, 'I'm sick…'

He was immediately repentant, 'Hey, I was just kidding! You are not having second thoughts, are you?'

CC looked back at him, 'No! No, no! I know I have chosen the man that I love, I'm sure'.

Niles saw she said it sincerely, looking into his eyes, and then grimaced again, showing she was not feeling well. He brought her to him, supporting her head on his shoulder and caressing her hair, 'I'm here for you, witch. Just calm down'.

He heard her whispering a shaken Thank you and felt how tight her grip was on him. It worried him she was so nervous about their wedding, but he decided to respect her silence and stood there, just hugging her, until she gave a deep sigh and started kissing his neck softly, murmuring something about him taking another shower to take off the Nanny's perfume from his skin.

ncncncncncncnc

Niles couldn't believe that woman and the effect she had on him.

They spent years fighting like crazy, then she decided to marry him, and they discovered they were crazy over each other.

They have been living together for almost two years, feeling like they had finally found home and, at the same time, maintaining their teasing routines.

When he thought they had lived through the worst, the last week before their wedding was a rollercoaster of feelings: he had seen Babcock out of herself, bitchy as he hadn't seen for a long time, passionate and absolutely dazzling and confusing to him.

Thanks to Miss Fine's interference, they were able to talk it over, and CC made him sure that, whatever was happening to her, was not related to any doubts she could have about their feelings for each other (the positive ones).

After that conversation, things went back to almost normal: CC was still having obvious difficulty to keep her temper under control, but she was making a brave effort, for Niles' sake. And she was back to having fun in situations that would normally make her jumpy, as trying her gown.

(They took a lot of photos with her in the chosen gown and him in his tuxedo, and some of them would for sure be great for blackmail in the future. The one where CC was clinging on Niles, one of her hands on her hip and the other pulling him to her was his favorite. He tried to keep serious for the shot, but she had just handed him a feather duster and had such a nasty smirk on her face he just couldn't resist and the photographer registered the exact moment he gave her a goofy enamored grin).

The last activity before the wedding was the rehearsal in the chapel, and then things got really emotional.

Niles didn't know how, but CC managed to make it play Tale as old as time for the rehearsal of her walking down the aisle, and he was crying from the moment he recognized the song to the moment her father gave her to him at the foot of the altar.

'Dear God, woman', he sniffed, taking her hand when Stewart went away, snickering, 'Why did you do this?'

She smiled at him sweetly, 'I had hoped you would cry so much today that you would not embarrass me tomorrow, when it is for real'.

They turned to the altar and he shook his head, 'To me it is always for real when it is about you'.

When she didn't answer, he looked at her, worried, and then grinned – she was using her free hand to try to wipe her own tears away without messing too much with her make up.

CC saw him looking at her and grinned back among tears, 'Hate you'.

Niles winked at her, 'Hate you more'.