As ever, thanks so much for the reviews. And to the anonymous reviewer who passed comment on my line about San Francisco: thanks, I was quite pleased with that one!
Of all the Skins characters, none seems to split people more than Katie Fitch. Some see her as a slutty, self-centered bitch, whilst others see her as a fiercely loyal, forthright tigress. Despite the way I have written her reaction to Emily so far, I am firmly in the latter camp. It's time for Katie to take some steps back towards awesomeness.
Chapter Twenty Four: True Colors
Emily
Well, I've had better days. Unexpectedly coming out to my family had not exactly gone smoothly. Why did my mother have to be so predictably bigoted? It didn't matter in the slightest to her that I've found someone that makes me happy – because that someone is a woman. But really, I had been braced for such a reaction from her. Much more disappointing were Dad and Katie's reactions. Dad didn't even say a single word, he just stood there stupidly while Mum raged at me. And Katie? Deep down, I had always hoped that I would have her support whenever it all came out. Watching her storm out of the room – and hearing that I couldn't follow after her – absolutely crushed me.
That was why I snapped at Naomi, even though I regretted it almost straight away. I felt so guilty for turning on her, when she was the one person on my side. But when we're angry and upset, we don't always make the smart decisions. I had plenty of time to reflect on it though, left alone with my thoughts all morning, desperately re-living what had happened between me and my family. When Naomi eventually turned up at my room, I was so relieved that I just grabbed hold of her and didn't want to let her go.
None of my family came looking for me. I spent the rest of the day in my room with Naomi, both of us talking endless amounts of nothing, anxiously avoiding any mention of the mess that this morning's events had created. We only parted company into the evening, in order to get ready for seeing Freddie's show.
One good thing to come from recent events was that things between Naomi and I suddenly seemed official. As we headed to Freddie's show, we strolled through the hotel casino hand in hand, not caring who saw us together. Admittedly, we had previously been rather unguarded before when in gay clubs – we had wrongly assumed that no-one there would care who we were – but now we could be openly affectionate wherever we were. It was true that everyone still believed that I was Katie, but after her reaction earlier, I didn't care what assumptions people would make about her.
Our moment was almost sullied when we ran into mum dad and James. Mum was desperately feeding dollar bills into a slot machine, whilst dad stood looking bored beside her. James was watching the scantily clad bar-maids walking about the casino floor. We were upon them before we had a chance to spot them and change our direction. On seeing us, James gave us a massive grin.
"Hey, what's this I hear about you being a muff monkey?" He asked loudly. Mum tore her eyes briefly away from her slot machine to throw a filthy look at Naomi. I muttered a response to James that what he had heard was correct. He turned his smile towards Naomi. "No wonder you wouldn't shag me!" Naomi rolled her eyes at him, but then returned his smile. He was after all, the only Fitch so far to react in a positive way to my little announcement. "Well, you've got great taste in women sis!" He informed me confidently. Mum snorted, but didn't raise her eyes from her machine. Dad placed a firm hand on her shoulder.
"Where are you two ladies off to tonight?" He asked softly.
"To see McLair's show" I answered. "We think he's stolen some of our act and we need to be sure."
"Well that'll be nice then."
I smiled at my father. Small talk was really not one of his fortes, but he was obviously making the effort. We stood there a moment longer, the awkward silence only broken by the electronic noises as mum continued to feed money into her one-armed bandit.
"See you then" I said, as we turned to go. Dad and James both said goodbye, but mum continued to pretend that we didn't even exist. With an exasperated sigh, Naomi and I walked away.
"You're mother's so lovely" said Naomi with sarcasm.
After seeing Freddie's show, we tried our best to leave the theatre as quickly as possible. He had indeed stolen a routine from our show, which just gave us one more reason to avoid him. But before we had taken too many steps, JJ accosted us, probably under instructions from Freddie to keep us there until Freddie himself could reach us.
"Well ladies!" He said, giving us a nervous smile. "It's lovely to see you here. Did you enjoy the show?"
"Well I liked the bits that you stole from us!" Huffed Naomi. I tugged nervously at her arm, not wanting to see McLair at all. JJ blinked rapidly, uncomfortable at Naomi's directness.
"Well, we er… The Mystic Cauldron is an old trick that…"
"You're a bunch of fucking thieves!" Snapped Naomi, unable to contain her anger. She continued to argue with JJ, and I felt a sinking feeling that we were playing right into Freddie's hands. I really had no wish to see him – it seemed that he was closer to Katie than any of us had originally known, and I felt sure that too much time in his company could lead him to the truth about me.
Eventually, I managed to drag a still grumbling Naomi out of the theatre.
"We don't want to see Freddie!" I reminded her. She shrugged.
"Maybe you could find out what's going on between him and Katie" she suggested. I let out a little laugh.
"Yeah, just say 'sorry Freddie, I can't remember what happened between us, can you tell me?'"
"I guess you're right" said Naomi with a grin. "Although it might not be that suspicious to him. Women who sleep with him probably want to forget!" I chuckled at the thought, before sighing.
"Do you think she slept with him?" I asked. Naomi frowned.
"I'm not sure what you're sister's been up to." There was a hardness to her voice that I didn't like the sound of. I longed to ask if Naomi suspected Katie of giving our secrets away, but I didn't want to hear her answer.
The next morning, Naomi and I had just finished getting dressed in my room, when there was a knock at the door. I opened it to reveal a rather contrite looking Katie. She stepped into the room, then seemed to hesitate when she saw Naomi.
"Can I talk to you?" She asked. "Alone" she added, with a glance in Naomi's direction. Naomi crossed her arms and stared challengingly at my sister.
"I'll do whatever Emily wants" she said firmly. I smiled softly at her.
"Let me talk to her. We'll meet you down in the rehearsal room."
As the door closed behind Naomi, I turned to face Katie. I was ready to apologise to her – though I was going to make it plain that I was apologising for my secrecy, not for being gay – but Katie beat me to it.
"I'm sorry" she said with a shrug. "I shouldn't have said what I did." I nodded, as I wondered how far reaching this apology was. Was she ready to accept that I'm gay, or was this another tactic to get me to see 'sense'?
"I should have told you sooner" I ventured.
"Yeah, you should of!" Snapped Katie, before appearing to regret her reaction. She sank with a sigh onto my bed. "But I guess I never made it easy for you" she added. I sat down next to her, turning slightly to face her.
"I'm sorry I didn't trust you with it" I told her.
"So you've always been...?" I nodded, answering her unasked question. "I wondered why you were single for so long."
"I wasn't always single. You remember my friend Jenny?"
Katie's eyes went wide as she remembered something at the mention of my ex girlfriend.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you - Jenny's a total lezzer! I saw her in Bristol before we left, totally snogging the face off some…" Katie's sentence trailed away as she realised what she was saying. "…Oh. You weren't just friends, were you?"
"No" I answered simply. Katie mulled over the implication of my words for a moment.
"Well, she's traded down" she said at last. "You're way prettier than the girl I saw her with." I chuckled at the re-emergence of Katie's unswerving loyalty to me.
"I think I've traded up" I told her, my mind lingering on a certain blue-eyed blonde that had been occupying my time lately. Katie rolled her eyes at me.
"Seriously? Em, she's a slut!"
"No she's not!" I said firmly.
"Come on, do you know how many people she's shagged while she's been in Vegas?" She asked. I took a deep breath as I wondered if Katie could possibly be able to alter her opinion of Naomi.
"Just one. She's only slept with me since she got here."
Katie laughed scornfully.
"Is that what she told you? God, you're so naïve sometimes, Em!" I really wasn't sure how to convince Katie otherwise. I knew that what Naomi had told me was the truth, but how was I to explain that to my sister?
"I know that she was telling the truth" I insisted. "We took things really slowly, because that's what Naomi wanted." Seeing Katie hesitate, I added more. "She loves me Katie, I know she does."
"Yeah, that's what she said yesterday" muttered Katie, a thoughtful look in her eyes.
"Yesterday?"
"Yeah. She followed me into the mall and wouldn't fuck off until I'd listened to her." I stared at my sister. This was news to me – Naomi hadn't told me anything about speaking to Katie yesterday.
"What did she say?" I asked, trying to keep my anxiety out of my voice. Katie shrugged.
"You know: that she loves you, and that you were gay long before she got to you."
"Well that's true."
"She said that I must have known" said Katie quietly. "Maybe I did. I suppose I didn't want to let myself believe it." There was so much regret in her voice that I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her. She immediately responded to the hug, gripping on to me firmly. I knew that it may still take her a while to come around to my being with Naomi, but at least she was making the effort.
Happy that our relationship felt back on track, I couldn't resist the urge to dig a little.
"What's going on between you and Freddie?" I asked.
"Nothing" she answered, but she wouldn't meet my gaze.
"Katie!"
"It's not what you think!" She argued.
"Are you fucking him?" I asked, determined not to let her off the hook easily.
"No!" snapped Katie, but her eyes still wouldn't meet mine. "Listen, it's over, alright?"
"What's over?" A moment ago, Katie said there was nothing going on, now she was claiming it was over. How exactly could 'nothing' be over? Katie shook her head.
"Nothing. I told you – he was interested in me, but nothing happened." I couldn't shake the feeling that Katie still wasn't telling me everything.
"Katie, he's stolen another one of our tricks! Then all of sudden, there's a picture of you having a cosy little chin-wag with him!"
"I didn't tell him anything, Em! I swear, we've met up a couple of times, but I never told him anything about the show!" This time, Katie did look me in the eye, and I had to admit that she seemed pretty definite. "Which trick did he nick?"
I explained to Katie about seeing Freddie's show the night before. The trick he had taken was a one we were all pretty happy with. A huge, cast iron caldron was brought on stage and shown to be empty and solid. Then it was placed over a fire. Water was poured into the caldron, and after a few moments, steam billowed out. Then Naomi reached into the caldron, and brought out a succession of production silks, all of which were dry. Then she plunged her hand in one more time. When she brought her hand back out, she was holding Katie's hand. She then helped Katie to climb out of the caldron. Freddie performed it almost exactly the same, but after helping Effy from the pot, he immediately reached back in and produced another woman. It seemed like such a blatant attempt at 'one-upmanship'.
"He's never asked me about it" said Katie, after I finished my description. "But even if he had, I wouldn't tell him anything about the show."
"Katie, I want you to be careful" I said gently. "I don't know what you're up to, but if it carries on, someone's going to get hurt." Katie gave a snort.
"Don't worry about me getting hurt!"
Try as I might, I couldn't get her to elaborate any more on whatever she was doing. I was concerned for her. It wasn't just hyperbole, I really did have the feeling deep in my gut that someone was going to get hurt. I just prayed that it wouldn't be Katie.
"Why don't you go join your girlfriend" she said, drawing a line under the conversation. "I'll stay in today."
I did as she suggested. Our first day back to work after our day off was always spent promoting the show, instead of rehearsing. Cook, Naomi and either myself or Katie would go out and pound the pavements, speaking to promoters, keeping the show in people's minds. Ticket sales had been doing well, but Naomi and Cook insisted that our efforts were necessary in order to maintain that level.
As I walked into the rehearsal room, I greeted Naomi with a smile.
"You never told me you spoke to Katie yesterday" I said, as I slid my arms around her waist.
"I didn't think I did any good."
"Well you did. She just apologised, and I think she's starting to accept it." Naomi smiled at me, but it then quickly turned to a frown. I guessed what was coming next.
"Did she tell you what's going on with Freddie?" She asked. I shook my head.
"No, I couldn't get it out of her." I was exasperated with Katie for keeping us all guessing, but I still felt the need to defend her to Naomi. "She said she didn't say anything to him about the show" I insisted. Naomi sighed.
"Well, she's playing with fire, whatever she's doing." I could hardly argue with that. "But it's an old trick. Freddie and JJ wouldn't need to have inside information to find out about it." As Naomi's expression darkened further, I suddenly realised that Cook should be with us.
"No Cook?" I asked gently.
"No, and his phone's switched off" said Naomi, sullenly.
"Have you seen him since yesterday?" Naomi just shook her head.
We hardly saw Cook over the next couple of days. He only turned up for our shows, and even then he cut it fine. He kept a business-like manner, only discussing things to do with the show, then disappeared as soon as it was over. Katie and I weren't exactly in his good books, but Naomi bore the brunt of his resentment. I kept a careful eye on her to see how it affected her. It clearly took a toll, leaving her exasperated as her efforts to speak to Cook fell on stony ground. Whatever overtures of friendship she made, he shut them down, not even meeting her part way.
I barely saw anything of my parents, either. In mum's case, it was obvious that she was avoiding me. With dad, I assumed that he was just going along with whatever she said, as per normal. It angered me that he could never make his own decisions about things. But at least things were better between me and Katie. She was even trying to make a real effort to accept Naomi as my girlfriend, too – even warning her not to hurt me.
Soon, it was time for mum, dad and James to leave Vegas. Their visit had seemed particularly brief, although I had hardly seen them for most of it. On their final day, they came into the rehearsal room to bid us all goodbye. Mum looked stony-faced, and wouldn't look directly at Naomi at all.
"So have you decided to stop this silliness?" She asked me. I just shrugged.
"I'm still gay, if that's what you mean." Mum actually flinched when I said the word 'gay'.
"That's ridiculous!" She said with a snort. "How can you even know that, when you've never given a proper try to men?"
I opened my mouth to argue, but Katie beat me to it.
"God, mother! Sexuality isn't just about sex you know!" I stared at Katie, wondering where such a sentiment had come from. I glanced across at Naomi, who gave me a little grin. I guess that's one of the things Naomi said to Katie, then. Katie was now in full flow against our mother. "Naomi makes her happy. Isn't that what you want for her? For us? Someone who makes us happy?" Mum gasped in shock at Katie.
"Katie! Not you too? What is this place doing to you all?"
"That's not what I meant" said Katie with a sigh.
"What's the collective term for lesbians?" Mused James aloud to no-one in particular.
"I'm not gay" said Katie through gritted teeth. "But I don't care that Emily is. I'd rather see her happy."
"Hear, hear."
All eyes turned in shock as my father finally spoke out.
"Rob!" Said mum, in a tone that showed that she thought dad was 'disobeying' her.
"Well our Katiekins is right, isn't she?" He turned to face Naomi. "You seem like a lovely girl Naomi, and if you make my girl happy, then that's okay by me." A broad grin spread across my face at my dad's words. As one, Katie and I threw ourselves into his arms for a proper Fitch hug. "Mind you" he continued over my shoulder, still talking to Naomi. "I would say it to any fella, so I'll say it to you: if you hurt her, I'll hunt you down like a dog." I glanced across at Naomi and saw that although she looked a little stunned, she nodded at my father's words.
"Robert, we're leaving" sniffed mum. Reluctantly, dad let go his hold on Katie and I and checked his watch.
"I'm afraid we do have to go now, girls." He pulled us both back in for one more hug, before offering his hand to Naomi. She shook it gingerly. "Take care, now" he said to the three of us. "And say goodbye to Cook for me." We nodded. James stepped closer, and hugged first Katie and then me. I was surprised by his sudden display of affection, until I saw him turn with open arms towards Naomi. Before she had chance to protest, James hugged her too.
"Don't you dare grope my girlfriend!" I warned him with a grin.
"As if I would!" He protested, as he relinquished his hold on her. "But I can see why you like her. She's got a cracking pair of tits!"
So the other Fitches have gone for now, but they will return.
Incidentally, the 'Mystic Cauldron' is a real trick, that used to be performed by Chung Ling Soo about 100 years ago, and it is even older than that. The steam was generated from a boiler in the basement of the theatre, and pumped up the sides of the cauldron. Soo's wife, who was produced from the cauldron, would regularly get burned on her hands and arms by the blasts of steam.
I definitely see our troup using a safe version, though! Perhaps with a controlled release of dry ice, instead of steam.
