A/N: Alex's outfits for this chapter can be found on my Tumblr, under the name 'darksideofparis'.
Alex woke up and gasped. She looked around, not at all surprised to be back in the boat accident reality. Only, in the time she'd been asleep in this reality, things seemed to have gotten worse.
A few feet of water decorated the salon, thanks to a large hole that had somehow appeared in one of the windows. Furniture was floating everywhere, like tiny desert islands in the ocean. Alex pushed herself out of the chair and, grateful for her Burberry-plaid rain boots, started wading through the water.
Alex struggled over to a large spiral staircase that led to the upper levels. Grabbing the bronze railing, she pulled herself up to the first step and began ascending the staircase. It felt like hours, but was actually just a few seconds, until Alex reached the top. She was now standing in a dark hallway on the upper deck. She raced past the captain's cabin and into the second salon, which she knew was often called the sky lounge.
The sky lounge offered a perfect view of what was going on. Alex stepped over toppled furniture and glossy magazines to look out the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. Outside, all she could see was a massive expanse of gray. The water was a dark gray, almost black, and it churned and spun wildly. Cracks of lightning lit up the sky every few seconds and big fat raindrops pelted against the window so hard, Alex could see cracks forming.
Alex looked around, trying to remember the layout of her parents' yacht. If she was remembering correctly, there was a small staircase tucked behind a door that led up to the sundeck. Halfway up, one had to open another door before stepping outside to finish going up the steps. Just as she remembered this, Alex spotted a section of wall that didn't quite match the area around it. The green and gold wallpaper, at least, was crooked. Alex raced forwards and felt a small switch in the spot where the knob would normally be. Grinning, she pressed it and the door swung open.
Alex took the steps two at a time and nearly banged into the second door. There was no time to waste. She knew that the Dream Lord's game was almost over. In every reality, the danger was growing larger and the choice on which reality to choose needed to happen now. Only trouble was, which reality was real?
Focus on this now, Alexandria, her subconscious told her. You can worry about that stuff later. Right now, you need to concentrate on trying to keep this boat from sinking. Knowing the voice was right, Alex turned the doorknob and continued racing up.
The outside steps were covered by part of the Jacuzzi deck but the second Alex left the shelter, she was pelted with rain. She grimaced as the rain hit with a force equivalent to hail. Looking around, she skidded across the deck to the outside steps that led up to the steering deck. She skidded on the wet steps and even fell down twice, but each time pulled herself back up and continued. Within minutes, she was in the bridge.
Alex ran a hand through her damp hair as she surveyed the room. She knew she looked like a half-drowned rat, but that couldn't be helped. All she could focus on, as she surveyed the equipment and array of charts and GPS systems, was that she had absolutely no clue how to steer a yacht.
She moved over to the main control panel and looked at the controls. A giant wave crashed against the side of the boat, causing it to go sideways, launching Alex across the room. She slammed against the wall and groaned. She closed her eyes in pain as she felt the massive bruise forming on her side. God, what was she thinking? There was no way she could stop this. She wanted the Doctor with her. Surely he'd know what to do. She wanted – no, needed – him so desperately, it almost hurt.
As if reading her mind, the birds started up again. Alex closed her eyes before they took their full effect. She wanted to see the Doctor again. Even though she was trying to be independent, she knew she now trusted him to get her out of any trouble. She wasn't sure if that scared her or thrilled her, but she knew that she wouldn't trade this feeling of confusion for anything.
~Living the Life of Ally~
"Where's the Doctor? And Alex?" Amy asked worriedly, leaning against the nursery wall. She was pretty winded after going up those stairs in such a hurry. Good thing Rory hadn't had to carry her. He'd probably collapse from all her extra weight.
"I don't know," Rory answered. He paced up and down the room frantically. For all they knew, Alex and the Doctor could be dead. Then, he got an idea. Turning to Amy, he said, "I want to do something for you."
Amy looked at him, puzzled, as he crossed over to the dresser and grabbed a pair of scissors. Then, as he kneeled in front of her, the meaning became clear and her eyes widened. She watched as Rory reached behind him and cut off that hideous ponytail he had been so insistent on growing in this reality. He held the hair out in his hand and looked at her expectantly.
Amy laughed, tears filling her eyes. "I was starting to like it," she admitted.
From behind them, the window opened, making the two jump. They turned to see the Doctor struggling in. Somehow, he'd managed to get Alex's unconscious body on his back, her hands looped lazily around his neck. "Sorry!" he called. "I had to stop off at the butchers. Could one of you please get her?"
Rory stood and lifted Alex off the Doctor. He laid her down on the floor next to Amy. "Why is she still asleep?" he wondered.
"Either the Dream Lord is really chatty or he's put her in whatever third reality he concocted for her," the Doctor explained as he knelt down next to Alex and brushed the bangs from her eyes.
"What are we going to do?" Rory asked, watching him.
The Doctor stood back up and groaned. "I dunno," he admitted. He gasped for breath a little. It had been arduous work climbing up that trellis with Alex on his back and a swarm of Eknodine below him. "I thought the freezing TARDIS was real, but now I'm not so sure."
"Oh!" Amy gasped. The men turned to her, eyes wide, as she clutched her stomach and said, "I think the baby's coming."
Rory couldn't keep from asking, "Honestly?"
Amy gave him an outraged look. "Would I make it up at a time like this?!" she growled.
"Well, you do have a history of. . ." Rory's voice faded as Amy gave him a murderous look. ". . .being . . . very lovely!" Thankfully, before Amy could attempt to smother him with her baby bump, a loud racket from the Eknodine came from outside. "Why are they so desperate to kill us?!" Rory cried as he helped Amy sit on the floor next to Alex.
"They're scared," the Doctor explained as he moved to stand in front of Alex. "Fear generates savagery."
Right at that moment, a stone statue burst through the window. Amy screamed and the guys stood in front of the girls to keep them from harm. Also in that moment, Alex was slowly waking up. Unlike the other times, it felt like her head was in a dark fog. She could make out a few things but not that clearly.
But, a split second later, one thing came through crystal clear. "Rory! Doctor!"
Alex's eyes flew open, just in time to see Rory and the Doctor sinking down next to the girls. Rory crawled over to Amy while the Doctor looked forlornly at Alex, not knowing she was awake. "No, I'm not ready!" Rory panted.
Alex sat up, much to the visible relief of the Doctor. "What's going on?" she cried, crawling over to the Doctor's side.
The Doctor weakly reached out and grabbed her hand. "Never thought it'd end like this," he muttered, ignoring Alex's question. "Although, death by Eknodine. Not something you see every day."
"Doctor, you tell me what's going on right now!" Alex cried. However, she knew what was going on. He was dying, him and Rory. She felt tears run down her cheeks and she knew her eyes were turning that horrifying neon green they got whenever she was crying really hard.
The Doctor pulled her down to where their foreheads were touching. "Ally, I don't know if I'm actually dying or not," he began.
"You're not!" Alex sobbed, clutching onto his jacket lapels. "You can't be!"
"But if I am," the Doctor continued as though she hadn't interrupted him, "I just want you to know that you are completely magnificent and it was great knowing you."
Alex gasped horrible, heaving sobs. This couldn't be happening. The Doctor couldn't be dying. He was the Doctor, for crying out loud! Then, before she could even consider the ramifications of what she was about to do, she bent down and pressed her lips to the Doctor's. The Doctor gasped in shock but soon overcame it, quickly moving his lips against Alex's. Alex kissed him hurriedly and pushed her tongue into his mouth without any hesitation.
The Doctor's tongue darted out to meet her and his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer. Their movements remained hurried, even more so when Alex felt her knees sinking into a growing pile of ash. Then she felt a bunch of ash trickling down her back. She pulled away from the Doctor just in time to see his face dissolve into ash.
Alex stared at the pile of ash before her. She felt like she couldn't breathe, like time had stopped, like nothing mattered anymore. The Doctor was gone and in his place was a big black hole full of grief, despair, and anguish that Alex knew she'd be sucked down into.
She ran her hands through the ash and watched as teardrops fell and stained the powder. What was she to do now? Nothing. She couldn't imagine her life without the Doctor. Somehow, he had gotten under her skin and caused her to feel what no man before him had ever succeeded in doing: not being able to live without him.
Alex lifted her eyes to Amy, who was staring at her own pile of ash in the same mixture of grief and shock. Sensing eyes on her, Amy looked up at her. She opened her mouth and said determinedly, "This is the dream. Definitely this one."
"I was just about to say that," Alex admitted.
Amy stood up and reached over to help Alex up. "Now, if we die here, we wake up, yeah?" she asked, looking for confirmation.
Alex nodded. "Unless we die."
"Either way, this is my only chance of seeing him again. Yours too."
Alex nodded. "We can't go on without them, can we?" she said. "So much for feminism."
Amy laughed a little, grateful that Alex could get her to do that even in their dire situation. "No, we can't. I know this is the dream. Even if it isn't, I don't want it."
"Neither do I," Alex agreed.
"You know," Amy said thoughtfully, sniffling a little, "I honestly didn't really know I wanted Rory until right now. I mean, I knew, I know I love him, but I honestly didn't know I actually wanted a life with him until right now."
Alex nodded and moved over towards the window. She looked outside and was surprised to see the Eknodine just standing around. "Why aren't they attacking?" she wondered, waving Amy over to her.
Amy looked out the window and shrugged. "Maybe they know what we're about to do," she sighed.
Alex turned away from the window. "Good luck in . . . however you decide to do it." Then Alex ran down the stairs.
Alex looked around the cottage and raced into the kitchen. Above her, she could hear Amy slowly making her way to the stairs. Alex took in the nice, neat kitchen for a moment before ransacking the drawers. She dug through opened bills, coupons for a pizza place one town over, old bottle caps and more before finally reaching the knife drawer.
Alex pulled out the sharpest one. It was wicked looking, with a sharp, pointy blade that was probably promised to cut through anything. Alex fingered it, hoping it would help her.
For a split second, she was scared. She knew people usually committed suicide by hanging themselves, overdosing on sleeping pills, or other stuff, but she didn't think very many killed themselves with a knife. Would it hurt? How long would she be in pain before she blacked out? Maybe she should do something else.
Outside, she heard Amy starting the camper van. She knew exactly what her friend was going to do. Knowing she didn't have much time left, Alex gritted her teeth, positioned the knife, and quickly thrust it into her chest.
Alex gasped and staggered back against the counter. Her fingers were coated in B positive blood and she used them to pry the knife out. She sank down against the lower cabinets and threw the knife down at her feet. She felt more tears roll down her cheeks as blood continued to gush out. Her vision slowly switched from clear water to an approaching darkness. Alex sank into it gratefully, hoping that she hadn't just made a terrible mistake.
~Living the Life of Ally~
Alex slowly opened her eyes and looked around. She was back in the yacht. She grinned. She'd done it! She got out of the Leadworth reality! Only problem was that there was still this reality and the TARDIS one to choose from. She groaned and reluctantly stood up. Which one could it be?
~Living the Life of Ally~
The Doctor's eyes burst open and he looked around for Alex. He quickly found her, lying right in front of him. Strangely, there wasn't any ice covering her face and hair. He reached out and laid a hand on her cheek. Her skin felt warm. Actually, the whole spot she was curled up in felt warmer than the rest of the room. He smiled a little. It looked like his dark side wasn't able to cause much harm to Alex. The Dream Lord had taken pity on her.
"So, you chose this world," the Dream Lord summarized. He looked around at the group, three awake, one completely unconscious. "Well done. You got it right. And with only seconds left. Fair's fair. Let's warm you up." A few flicked switches and the TARDIS powered up again, the lights overhead causing the ice to sparkle like gemstones, nearly blinding the three conscious time-travelers.
"I hope you've enjoyed your little fictions." The Dream Lord seemed despondent, knowing he had actually been defeated. "It all came out of your imagination, so I'll leave you to ponder on that. I have been defeated. I shall withdraw. Farewell." With that, he was gone.
"Something happened," Rory realized. He looked at Amy in confusion. "I. . . What happened to me? I. . ." He was interrupted by Amy tightly hugging him. "Oh. Oh, right. This is good," he rambled. "I am liking this. Was it something I said? Could you tell me what it was so I can use it in emergencies, and maybe birthdays?"
Amy pulled back and smiled. "You just did something amazing is all, right, Alex?" No reply. Amy frowned. "Alex?" She whirled around and noticed Alex's still figure. "Alex!" she cried, quickly crawling to her. "Doctor! Alex isn't awake!"
The Doctor jolted up and grabbed Alex, pulling her head into his lap. "Ally! Ally!" he called, shaking her a little. "Wake up! Wake up!"
"She's dead," Rory choked out. He looked like he was about to burst into tears, Amy included. "The Dream Lord killed her. She's dead."
"No, no, no, she's not dead," the Doctor rambled. God help him if she were dead. He'd go throw himself into that cold star. "She must be in that third reality. The one the Dream Lord made up when she back-talked him."
"Isn't there a way to get her out?" Amy asked as she reached out and loosened Alex's scarf.
The Doctor shook his head. Oh, how he wanted to go and save Alex from whatever hell she was trapped in. But he couldn't. "No. It's all up to her now."
~Living the Life of Ally~
Alex struggled wildly with the wheel. She had no clue how to drive this thing – having to take the car driver's test twice probably didn't help much either – nor could she with these weather conditions. The rain was pelting against the glass in front of her, making it impossible for her to see anything out there. She wailed in defeat and crumpled down to the floor.
How could this be happening? What was with these realities? All had been concocted by the Dream Lord. One was real, two were fake, simple as that.
Alex jerked. Wait a second. What had she just thought? All realities had been concocted by the Dream Lord. Alex jerked again and she felt her mind running and jumping as it came to the answer. She gasped. Of course! None of the realities were real! The Dream Lord had had control in each one of them. He wouldn't have had control in the true reality!
Alex stood up, invigorated with this realization. Abandoning her original idea to try and save the ship, Alex ran out of the bridge and slid dangerously down the steps. On the lower deck, water was splashing and the whole ship was titling to one side. Alex looked around at the vast expanse of gray and took a deep breath. Then, before she could regret it, she ran and cannonballed into the pulsating ocean, allowing the water to travel down and suffocate her lungs.
~Living the Life of Ally~
Alex's back arched and she gasped for breath. She coughed slightly, realizing that she was no longer in the suffocating ocean water, but back in the TARDIS.
"Alex!" Amy and Rory cried in relief. Alex's vision was quickly blocked by a mass of red hair as Amy threw herself down and hugged her. "I thought you were dead!"
Alex blew strands of Amy's hair out of her mouth so she could speak. "Please. Takes a lot to kill me." The memory of stabbing herself in the Leadworth reality flashed across her mind for a quick second before Alex roughly pushed it to the side.
"More like you're too stubborn to die," Rory quipped. He was hugging her as well.
Alex nodded. "Perhaps. Um, guys? Hate to ruin the moment, but I can't really breathe."
"And this whole position is getting really awkward," a familiar voice said above her.
"Sorry!" Amy and Rory jerked back up and sat back.
"Thanks." Alex loosened her scarf and tossed it over to Amy. "Amy, use that. You've got a few icicles on your face."
As Amy laughed and began picking the ice off, Alex rolled over onto her stomach and grinned upwards. "Hey, Doc," she greeted.
He smiled down at her, relieved that she was back with him. "Ally," he greeted. "Is it your mission in life to scare me as much as possible?"
"No, but it's rather fun." Alex giggled and sat up on her knees. No sooner had she done that then the Doctor pulled her into a tight hug.
"You realize none of the realities are real, right?" Alex asked as she hugged him back.
The Doctor grinned into her shoulder. "Good girl," he whispered, leaning back and kissing her forehead.
Alex frowned at him. "Bothered me when the Dream Lord said it, still bothers me when you say it." Though not as much, she privately mused.
"Sorry," the Doctor apologized, still grinning at her. He stood, reached down, and lifted her up by the waist. Alex giggled and watched as he walked around the console and began to turn a giant ice-covered wheel.
"What are we doing now?" Amy asked, coming over with Rory in tow.
"Me? I'm going to blow up the TARDIS," the Doctor casually replied.
Amy and Rory gawked at him. "What?!" Rory shrieked.
"Notice how helpful the Dream Lord was? Okay, there was misinformation, red herrings, malice, and I could've done without the limerick. But he was always very keen to make us choose between dream and reality."
But Amy and Rory still hadn't gotten over his declaration about blowing up the TARDIS. "What are you doing?!" Amy cried again.
Rory jumped in, hoping that maybe he could make the Doctor see reason. "Doctor, the Dream Lord conceded. This isn't a dream!"
"Yes, it is!" the Doctor shouted gleefully as he continued to work on the console. The TARDIS began shaking and rattling, forcing everyone to clutch onto the console.
Amy turned to Alex desperately. "Alex, stop him!" she ordered.
"Amy, he's telling the truth!" Alex cried. "Trust me!"
"Are you certain?" Rory asked. He trusted Alex's judgment because it was hardly ever wrong.
"A star that's burning cold?" Alex questioned. She laughed. "Please! I could come up with something way better than that! And the Dream Lord doesn't have control in the true reality. In each reality, he had control. He was really offering us the choice between two dreams."
"How do you know that?" Amy demanded.
The Doctor and Alex looked at each-other and grinned. "Because we know who he is!" the two shouted together before the Doctor flicked a lever, plunging them all into darkness.
~Living the Life of Ally~
Alex bolted upwards, gasping for breath. She looked around for a moment, not knowing where she was. She looked around at the familiar beauty of the TARDIS library and noticed the copy of Christine lying abandoned on the floor. She was on the TARDIS. She wasn't dead. But what had just happened? Alex jumped off the couch and raced out of the library, skidding down the hallway until she reached a staircase leading down to the control room.
The Doctor looked up upon hearing footsteps above him. To his right, Amy and Rory were walking down the staircase in a restrained sense of urgency. He turned upon hearing somebody running down the other steps. It was Alex, looking beautiful as ever in a black dress with rose-patterned lace, a black long-sleeved shirt underneath it, along with black tights, combat boots, and large hoop earrings.
"Any questions?" the Doctor asked as they approached. He hooked his free arm around Alex's shoulders, pulling her closer to him.
Alex peered down at the small blue circular objects in his other hand. "What are they?"
"A speck of psychic pollen from the candle meadows of Karass don Slava. Must have been hanging around for ages. Fell in the time rotor, heated up, and induced a dream state for all of us." Once he finished his explanation, the Doctor released himself from Alex and headed over to the TARDIS doors. He opened them and then gently blew the pollen out.
"So that was the Dream Lord then?" Rory asked as the Doctor closed the doors and crossed back over to them. "Those little specks?"
"No, no, no," the Doctor frowned. He leaned up against the console next to Alex. "Sorry, wasn't it obvious? The Dream Lord was me. Psychic pollen. It's a mind parasite. It feeds on everything dark in you, gives it a voice, turns it against you." He smiled sheepishly, though it seemed rather forced to Alex. "I'm nine hundred and seven. Had a lot to go on."
"But why didn't it feed on us, too?" Amy wondered.
The Doctor snorted. "The darkness in you three? It would've starved to death in an instant." He looked over at Alex and grinned. He picked her up and whirled her around, making her laugh as he added, "I choose my friends with great care. Otherwise, I'm stuck with my own company and you know how that works out."
"But those things he said about you. . ." Amy trailed off and looked at the Doctor with a mixture of despair and pity. "You don't think any of that's true?"
The Doctor was silent for a moment and Alex felt her heart sink. How could he think such things? He wasn't like the Dream Lord! He's not, Alex thought determinedly. Hopefully, she could make him see that.
The Doctor avoided looking at Alex as he instead found a way out of answering Amy's question. "Amy," he said, looking over at Rory, "right now, a question is about to occur to Rory. And seeing as the answer is about to change his life. . ." He pushed Amy towards her fiancé and winked. ". . .I think you should give him your full attention."
"Yeah," Rory murmured, thinking something over before saying louder, "Actually, yeah."
"There it is!" the Doctor and Alex cheered in synch, making the two look at each-other and smile.
"'Cause, what I don't get is, you blew up the TARDIS," Rory began, nodding at the Doctor, "that stopped that dream, but what stopped the Leadworth dream?"
"Crashed the camper van," Amy hesitantly replied.
"Oh, right. I don't remember that."
"No," Amy said slowly and awkwardly. "You weren't there. You were already. . ."
"Already what?" Rory pressed.
"Dead!" Amy blurted, sounding irritated. She sighed and muttered, "You died in that dream. You and the Doctor both. Mrs. Poggit got you."
"Oh," Rory realized, looking at her in amazement. "But how did you know it was a dream? Before you crashed the van, how did you know you wouldn't just die?"
Amy bit her lip nervously. "I didn't," she admitted. Alex grinned and bounced a little as the truth dawned on Rory and he moved closer to kiss Amy.
The Doctor clapped. "So, well then, where now?" Amy and Rory didn't answer, still caught up in using more tongue than Alex was comfortable seeing. "Or should I just pop down to the swimming pool for a few lengths?"
"And please answer him!" Alex begged. She shook her head. "The amount of tongue you two use is truly astounding."
"Shut up, Alex," Amy and Rory both chided as they pulled away. Rory wrapped an arm around Amy's waist and grinned down at her. "I don't know. Anywhere's good for me. I'm happy anywhere. It's up to Amy and Alex this time."
The Doctor smiled. "Amy and Ally's choice," he mused. Still grinning, he turned back to the console. Just as he was about to pull a lever down, he happened to glance down at the console. He jumped slightly. Staring back at him, instead of his own reflection, was the Dream Lord. The Dream Lord smirked and winked at him. The Doctor blinked. No, don't be real, he silently begged. Once he was done blinking, he saw that the Dream Lord was gone, his own reflection back. He breathed a small sigh of relief, which didn't go unnoticed by Alex.
Alex arched an eyebrow and studied him. He looked like someone had just walked over his grave. "Doc?" her voice rang out, pulling him back to the present. "You okay?"
The Doctor looked over at her and plastered a smile across his face. But they both knew it was fake. "Just fine, Ally!" he cheered before yanking the lever down, sending them tumbling further into the time vortex.
~Living the Life of Ally~
A few minutes later, Alex was lying on the library couch, Christine in her hands once again. Amy and Rory had been more interested in kissing and other things than seeing the seventh moon of Poosh or whatever so while the Doctor crept off to do God-knows-what, Alex had returned to the library.
She ran her eyes over the lines in the book, but it didn't feel like she was reading them. She was just looking at words that were somehow connected. She sighed and placed the book down. Who was she kidding? She couldn't read when she had all this Dream Lord stuff rattling around in her brain.
Alex stood and headed out to the corridor. She walked along the halls, not really knowing where she was going. She placed a hand on the wall. "You know where the Doctor is?" she asked the machine.
The TARDIS hummed and Alex suddenly smelt the overpowering stench of chlorine. She grimaced. Of course. He had mentioned something about going to the swimming pool. Gritting her teeth, Alex inched herself down the hall into the room where the swimming pool was housed.
The walls were white, the floor a matching white marble tile. The pool was huge, nearly taking up the whole room except for about seven feet away from the walls. Alex flattened herself against the wall and inched her way along it. On the far end of the pool was a single blue door. Curious, Alex pushed it open, but quickly regretted it.
"Alexandria!" a startled male voice cried out. "Don't you knock?!"
Alex's eyes widened and she quickly whirled around. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" she cried, not wanting to turn around and see the Doctor's nice, muscular body again. How was she supposed to know that was a changing room? Well, what else would be in the pool?! She snapped to herself. "I'm so, so, so sorry! I swear!"
"If you're that sorry, then please shut the door. This draft is . . . uncomfortable."
Not wanting to ponder on what that statement meant, Alex shut her eyes and turned back around, feeling around for the knob and quickly pulling the door shut. She could practically feel her face flaming as she leaned back against the wall, totally mortified. Let's hope the Doctor doesn't tell Amy about this, she thought. I'd never hear the end of it.
"So what are you doing in here?" the Doctor called out from behind the door. "Aside from practicing becoming a peeping-tom?"
"I said I was sorry!" Alex shrieked, feeling her embarrassment go up by ten. "I swear, it was an accident!"
"I'm just teasing you, Ally," the Doctor assured her. "Although, seriously, what are you doing in here? I figured the pool was the last place you'd come to."
You're damn right about that, Alex thought wryly. Aloud, she said, "I just wanted to talk to you, is all."
"Oh, of course. Go ahead then."
Alex nibbled her bottom lip, unsure of what to say. All the thoughts running around in her head seemed to make sense, but she couldn't figure out what to say aloud. All words had eluded her. "It's just . . . how could some part of you be capable of the things the Dream Lord stood for?"
For a moment, there was silence on the other side of the door. Alex thought that maybe he wasn't going to answer and she started to move away when the Doctor spoke. "Alex, I'm nine hundred and seven."
"I know that," Alex replied, leaning back against the wall. "But that doesn't answer my question."
The Doctor sighed audibly through the metal door. "Ally, the things I've seen . . . they've stayed with me. And I've had companions get hurt or die because of me. I won't lie to you about that. It tends to settle in and affect a person as old as me. Sometimes, in extreme cases . . . it manifests into something bigger."
Alex pressed her cheek against the wall, feeling it cool beneath her. "But you don't feel that way all the time, do you?"
"Of course not. Companions. . . They bring in a little light. You especially."
Alex beamed. "Thanks, Doc!" she laughed, feeling a thrum of pleasure race through her.
The Doctor chuckled along with her. "So tell me," he said once they were done laughing. "I vaguely recall something happening right before I died in Leadworth."
Alex felt her face burn red again. "You mean . . . where I kissed you?"
"That would be it," the Doctor quietly confirmed.
"Well, you were dying and I panicked and . . . we didn't really know that all three realities were dreams, now did we?"
"No, we didn't."
"Right."
There was a tense silence for a moment, both of them brushing off the romantic element in the Leadworth reality and the almost kiss in the TARDIS reality. None of that proved that they were attracted to each-other. It was illusion, manufactured by the psychic pollen, nothing they both really wanted to do.
"By the way," the Doctor spoke, breaking the silence, "I've been meaning to ask. What was the third reality you were in?"
Alex bit her lip, unable to answer. She knew if she told him the truth he would just blame himself. She didn't want that. It wasn't his fault. The psychic pollen had just . . . influenced him. Like he'll ever believe that. "Nothing," she replied, beginning to walk away. "It was nothing."
"I hardly believe that," the Doctor retorted. He waited for a reply, but none came. "Alex? Ally?" Carefully, the Doctor opened the door and poked his head out. But Alex was gone.
~Living the Life of Ally~
Alex tossed and turned in bed, the sheets around her legs tangling into triple knots, but she didn't know that. All her mind could focus on was the nightmare she was currently having.
She gripped tightly to the side of the boat. All she could see out on the horizon was gray and black. The gray was the churning and pounding of the waves, like the sea was angry and taking it out on her, and the black was the sky, occasionally lit up by violent purple and yellow streaks of lightning that sizzled when it touched the water.
"DOCTOR!" Alex screamed, feeling water run down her face. Whether it was tears or rain, she didn't know. All she did know was that she was trapped, no option of survival in sight, and that the only person who could rescue her was nowhere to be found.
"DOCTOR, PLEASE!" Alex begged. Her throat ached from screaming and it was taking all her strength just to keep a grip on the boat. Her feet skidded across the wet floor and she cried out, desperate for someone, anyone, to hear her.
"Alex!" a voice called out. It was the Doctor! He had come to save her! But where was he?
"Doctor!" Alex cried, looking around.
"Alex! Ally!"
Suddenly, Alex felt herself being shaken. What the hell? Was an earthquake happening in addition to a thunderstorm? "Doctor!"
"Ally! Wake up! WAKE UP!"
Alex's eyes sprang open and she sat up, called out of her dream. She placed a hand over her heart, feeling it beat wildly beneath her, her breath shallow and coming out in big gasps. As she panted, she turned to gaze into the worried green eyes of the Doctor. "Doctor!" she cried, her voice caked with tears and slightly hoarse from screaming as she impulsively threw her arms around him.
The Doctor gently sat down on the bed next to her. He could feel her fear through her tense muscles and through her voice, brimming with tears. He carefully maneuvered Alex into his lap, slightly conscious of the fact that she was wearing a really short long-sleeved nightgown. He pulled back to look into Alex's bloodshot eyes, the red overpowering the delicate light green irises. "Ally, are you okay?"
Alex shook her head and sniffled a little, too scared by her dream to even be embarrassed about crying in front of the Doctor. "I had a nightmare," she admitted.
The Doctor smiled weakly at her. "I could tell. I could hear you screaming all the way from the control room." Aside from that, he had been informed by a worried TARDIS that Alex was in the throes of a nightmare and would be calling out for him. A split second after that information, he'd heard Alex screaming and had bolted out of the control room. Now, his smile faded and his voice was replaced from mild joking to concern. "Ally, what was it about?"
Alex hesitated slightly before answering. She knew the Doctor would blame himself, even though he had no reason to. She breathed deeply before blurting out, "It was about the third reality the Dream Lord put me in."
She didn't miss the way the Doctor's eyes clouded over or how his grip on her tightened, but she continued anyways. "He put me in a boat accident reality. It was storming and I was going to end up drowning unless I did something. I tried steering the boat, but it didn't work. In this nightmare, I was clutching the side of the boat, otherwise I'd fall in. I kept calling out for you, but you never came."
The Doctor's eyes narrowed and Alex shivered slightly at his deep black irises. "Doctor, please say something!" she begged. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this. It's too much of a burden."
The Doctor stared at her, shocked. "Ally!" he cried, the narrowing and black quickly disappearing. "Why, I've. . ." He trailed off and simply kissed her quickly on the forehead. He pushed her head back so that she could look him right in the eye. "Alex, nothing you say could ever be a burden to me! Don't you even think that for a second! Get that idea out of your pretty little head right now! And you shouldn't be apologizing to me! I should be the one apologizing to you! The Dream Lord is a part of me, after all."
"Doctor, you shouldn't have to apologize for something that's a part of you."
"I do when it hurts someone I l— . . . care deeply about. You, to be more specific."
"It's not your fault, Doctor," Alex smiled. She reached up and ran her thumb across his cheek, making the Doctor shiver slightly at the feeling. "You said yourself that the psychic pollen feeds off of everything dark within you. Of course my fears of water would show up. I know you wouldn't use that against me in reality."
The Doctor smiled at her and ran a hand through her hair, feeling the silky tresses soothe his rough skin. "Oh, Ally," he murmured, kissing her hairline, "how in the world did you drop into my life?"
"Must've been a reward from the universe for all the good you've done," Alex teased.
The Doctor laughed. "You might be onto something," he admitted. Truthfully, that seemed pretty likely. Everything about his relations with Alex seemed grand-designed, like they were meant to happen. He wondered fleetingly whether the reason he and Rose were always being torn apart was because the universe already had him destined for Alex. Stranger things had happened.
"Well, I'm always right, aren't I?"
"Let's not get carried away." Regardless, he laughed.
Alex sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "Thanks."
The Doctor looked at her in confusion. "For what?"
"For waking me up and comforting me," Alex said like it was obvious.
"You're welcome. Are you feeling better now?"
For a second, Alex thought about lying and saying that she was alright. But as the details of the nightmare spilled back into her brain, she shivered and shook her head, answering the Doctor's question.
"Okay," the Doctor said, easing her off his lap. "Scoot over."
Alex gave him a weird look, but did as he asked. "Why?" she wondered. She watched in a mixture of shock and excitement as he kicked off his boots, tossed his jacket over onto the leather couch, and untied his bowtie, lying it on the nightstand.
"I'm staying here for the rest of the night," the Doctor informed her. "I don't want you having any more nightmares. And don't try to talk me out of it. It won't work."
Alex grinned impishly. "Who said anything about arguing?" she asked, lying her head down on the same pillow his head was lying on.
The Doctor smirked at her. "Sleep, Ally," he instructed as he moved down under the covers. "I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."
Alex smiled up at him, interrupted by a yawn. Truthfully, she was pretty tired. She shifted slightly so that her head was resting on his chest. She was immediately soothed by the thudding of his heartbeats and within five minutes, she was sound asleep.
The Doctor watched her sleeping form as he played with the ends of her hair. How had he gotten so lucky? She was, in every sense of the word, perfect. Perfect for him, if he was being honest with himself.
The Doctor looked around the dimly lit room. He hadn't been in here since he had first seen it with Alex and he was curious to see how it appeared now with its new occupant. Also, it would allow him to learn more about Alex, a subject he couldn't get enough of.
For starters, Alex loved to read, for the bookshelves by the bed were packed. The first shelf, in fact, was already full and the second one contained about ten books. The Doctor looked at the titles, each of them organized according to author's last name. He spotted fiction books like Tender Is the Night, Along for the Ride, Little Women, Heist Society, non-fiction books about ancient Rome, the Titanic, the Tudor dynasty, Al Capone, and more. Alex's taste was widespread and unlimited.
On top of the bookshelves were a small array of items. He spotted two picture frames; one of Alex and Lacey at some kind of school event – Prom possibly, he figured, based on the poufy light pink dress Alex was wearing – and then one of three people he had never seen before.
The photo consisted of a man, woman, and a little girl about the age of four or five sitting on the man's lap. The man had light, wavy brown hair and wore black tortoiseshell frame glasses, a black turtleneck sweater, a white collared shirt, and khakis. The woman had long red hair that was a couple shades darker than Amy's and wore a bright red sweater, a black skirt, diamond earrings, and bright red lipstick. The little girl in the man's lap had long light brown hair and bangs. She was wearing a black velvet dress with red roses stitched along the waist, black tights, and shiny Mary-Jane's.
The Doctor looked at the people curiously, trying to figure out who they were and why Alex would have a photo of them. As he was pondering this, his gaze happened to travel over the woman's eyes. He almost jumped in surprise. One eye was chocolate brown, the other almost dark green. He looked over at the little girl. Sure enough, the majority of the little girl's eyes were topaz, but were in the process of switching over to light green.
It was Alex. The Doctor grinned. She was so cute! And it was clear, based on the sleeping young woman lying on top of him, that she had aged gracefully. Of course, genetics had been on her side. Malcolm Locke was debonairly handsome and Daphne Docherty Locke was quite the looker. Alex had to have gotten her good looks from somewhere.
He felt a pain of sadness go through him as he studied the picture. He wasn't sure how much Alex remembered about her parents, but based on the photo, they seemed happy. As he looked at the smiling little girl in the photo, unaware of the tragedy about to unfold, he wished he could somehow get Alex's parents back. Of course, he couldn't. There had been bodies, after all. And, if they had survived, Alex would most likely not be here with him right now, sleeping peacefully on him, unaware of his thoughts.
Hopefully, the universe hadn't gotten rid of Alex's parents just so he could have a clear shot at her. If that was what had occurred. . . He shook his head. He couldn't think about that. He'd make himself ill.
Turning away from the photos, the Doctor concentrated on the other objects. There was a glass hourglass with purple sand in it, a plastic London double-decker bus, a statue of a peacock, and a snow-globe from Mt. Rushmore. The desk contained a MacBook, a vase with a wilted rose in it, a green gooseneck lamp, a glossy fashion magazine, and a Diet Pepsi can.
He looked over at the nightstand. A small zebra-print lamp sat right next to the bed along with another picture frame, this one of Emmy and Lola sitting on top of Alex's '56 in some wooded area. A bottle of Raspberry Blush nail-polish sat next to that along with a small black velvet pouch, a black rosary lying on top of it. Finally, a book rested next to the lamp, a copy of Stephen King's Christine.
The Doctor grinned and looked at the classic cover of a car surrounded by a black background, headlights on ominously, like a pair of eyes. His ninth incarnation had been a huge fan of Stephen King and he recalled Rose having nightmares after she read Cujo. He hadn't pegged Alex for the Stephen King type, but her bookshelves should have told him not to assume what she liked to read.
The Doctor eased back into the pillow and sighed. This was nice. He had learned so much more about Alex in this looking around than he would have if they talked non-stop for two weeks. He looked down and smoothed out a tangle in Alex's hair. It was also nice lying with Alex like this. Screw his previous lamentations when he had last done this with her. He was going to enjoy this.
He yawned. Oh, crap. Not this again! Was it going to be like this every time he lay with Alex, him suddenly getting tired and wanting a nap? Whoa! EVERY time?! He thought but was interrupted by another yawn. Well, didn't look like he could ponder this any longer.
The Doctor felt his eyes closing and he happily sank into the dark oblivion. He didn't mind. He was lying her with a girl he . . . cared deeply for. How much better could it get?
A/N: How many of you loved the ending but wanted to scream when they denied their feelings . . . AGAIN?! I just love drawing this out, don't I? I'm so evil! :} And did you like where the Doctor died in the Leadworth reality? I haven't read a fic yet where that happens, so I decided to make it happen here. :)
Notes on reviews. . .
jesterlover - *blushes like crazy* Thank you! I'm not really sure what else to say, other than thank you, so thank you! :)
ShadowTier - Glad you liked that part. The Dream Lord can't be completely heartless to her, since he is part of the Doctor. :) Lol, LOTS have asked, but I can't say! It will be epic though and does take place in an episode where a lot of stuff happens. . . :) Yeah, this is a pretty long story. I don't want to rush anything with these two because they both feel like they can't have the other due to certain circumstances and it's fun to play around with that and see where it takes them. And don't worry! Ramble to your heart's content. I don't mind! :D
SopherGopherroxursox - Thank you! And I'm glad you liked that part! The Dream Lord is part of the Doctor, so he can't be completely mean to her. And don't worry, I like Martha really! She's just not my absolute favorite. That slot is tied with Amy, Rory, and Rose. I don't hate any of the companions. The only one I really don't like is River. She's never clicked with me, but I do think the idea behind her is cool. Hope that clears things up! :)
larayray132434 - Oh, don't worry about being late. You're actually the first one that's replied to that old post, so congrats! Hmm, Jes Macallan looks older than how I picture Alex, but I do see that edge and confidence you were talking about. Maybe an older Alex, but I still appreciate the suggestion! :)
rycbar15 - Thank you! Lol, I think most EVERYONE wants to attack Amy at some point in here!
TheGirlWhoWaited - Thanks! I'm glad it sounds believable. That was my biggest worry when writing this. :)
Gwilwillith - Thanks!
Timey-Wimey Somn-Like Lass - Gasp! BOTH your hopes came true! :D And I'm glad you find the Doctor/Alex pairing believable (we need a ship-name for those two). Yeah, they just fit together don't they? :)
TheUltimateGuest - Don't worry about not reviewing. I have schoolwork of my own to deal with; one AP class and one online college course. :( And don't worry about not seeing as many episodes of Doctor Who as others. I haven't seen nearly as many classic episodes as I want to. :)
sashaxh - Lol, there IS quite a bit of fluff in this isn't there? I must've been in a really good mood when writing this. :)
