Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show

A/N: Most of the Roman names are Latin-sounding parodies of various RHPS-related words. For example: 'Vaverlus' is supposed to sound like 'Waverly', as in the movie theatre where RHPS Audience Participation began (there's no 'w' in Latin). Also... look out for a few more references to I, Claudia. I'm having fun making them take place in the same 'verse.

Here we learn more about the government and some things about the great poet Publius Brianillus. He's basically Richard O'Brien-meets-Virgil. Hopefully that's not too crazy.


The early government – as I have previously mentioned – was technically a dictatorship. Because that was how things were back home in Rome this bothered nobody. Though after Salpirus had been ruling for a while, somebody called Lucius Vaverlus Theatrum had an idea. What if they just stopped pretending and declared a king? Rome wasn't allowed kings anymore because of what happened to Lucretia. But this wasn't Rome… it was a colony in the galaxy Transsylva.

Salpirus liked this idea. Though his name wasn't regal enough for a king's name. So he became Patricianus Caesar. That name was in part a tribute to Quintillia Patricia, for she'd sacrificed her life for them all. It's believed that Servillia had something to do with that woman being honored in such a way. Some say Servillia was a close friend to Patricia (not a lover, though).

Patricianus Caesar and Servillia had a son named Primus and two daughters, Doria and Terrilla, living by the time the colony (then a town called Vaverlium and various nearby farms) reached its tenth anniversary. Most of the other families were doing equally well, mind you. Nine families (those being Brianillus, Laurus, Patricianus Caesar, Dulcibellus, Currianus, Servillius, Vaverlus, Dominus Crassus, and Cececatus) had become the 'nobles' while all others were plebian. Some of the families declined in greatness while others became greater. I am of the Cececatus family, as you've surely noticed. Poor Lucretilla, victim of Gaius Dulcibellus Caesar Frankenfurter, happens to be of the Dominus Crassus and our current queen Claudia is a Dulcibellus. Yes, the names have lasted these many centuries.

By the time the third generation of people born on the planet had come of age virtually nobody who'd seen Earth still lived. Primus Patricianus Caesar and his father before him ruled fairly. Attempts at farming initially failed because there wasn't sunlight, though soon enough a system of artificial lights was devised from the starship they'd travelled. Mines had been discovered and lovely gems mined. The town had become more of a small city. The usual festivals were honored, as were a few new ones. More of the population was well learned because there were far less people to teach and it gave the clever something to do.

The people were relatively content – and there weren't even any bread and circuses...

Now the one useful thing they didn't have was literature. Or art of any kind, come to think of it. What they did have was some leftover ideas Rome had ripped off from the Greeks. That's something embarrassing, isn't it? Nearly all of their art or music or poetry or whatever was actually Greek. They were all too busy being soldiers. Good thing we had the poet Publius Brianillus.

Brianillus is the man who wrote our famous Rohopish epic poem. He's what Virgil was to Rome. Everyone knows his name even today. Of course, Rohopish and other works of his are now considered something of a 'geek thing' by younger generations. You know how young people are. Queen Dulcibella Claudia is a fan, by the way, and wrote a parody of sorts called Adventures of a Fan when she was young. Of course, it wasn't until her memoir that we knew it was she who'd written it. Though that's irrelevant.

What matters is that Rohopish is our poem. It's the greatest work any of our people has ever produced. This project was begun in the 280s and finished circa 350. The man himself was born in the 23rd of Brianillus in 244. It seems he died soon before finishing, for the work just stops all of a sudden. Despite the abrupt ending and somewhat bizarre style, we are all very proud of Rohopish.

Here's a few lines of the Prologue, badly translated from a more archaic form of our language:

Once stories told of the mad nonsense that we do invent

Not science but fiction fills the tales that we do enjoy

False threats, foolishness, awful affects that we do love

Flash Gordon in silver underwear said to be there now

Scream Queen Fay Wray apparently caught with King Kong

Doctor X did make a creature cruel for the evilz

The Androids did not fight Brad and his Janet here

The legs of Anne Francis star in the Tempest remake

Once stories told of the mad nonsense that we do invent

Not science but fiction fills the tales that we do enjoy

False threats, foolishness, awful affects that we do love

Lore mocked by wisdom mentions the monsters from outer space

In science fiction show, picture show things are so mad

Celluloid stories keep people quiet as do bread and circus

As you might've noticed the 13th month of our year, Brianillus, is named after him. That's because he was born in that month (as previously noted).

Not much is known about Publius Brianillus' actual life. Though we do know he was born in the capital city Vaverlium, spent his childhood in remote countryside villa, went back to the city, and finally returned to the countryside to retire. Rohopish was written during his later years in the city and retirment. His contemporaries said he was quiet-mannered though witty. Some say he wasn't well educated – though surely that is slander, since he wrote our greatest work. Yet that poem was based on earlier, fragmented legends considered stupid by most people.

Since time machines can't go farther back then a century or so we'll never really know much about the life of he who wrote our beloved Rohopish.


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