She had never really thought of having children. In her younger days on Mindoir she had dreamed of getting off of the farm and exploring the galaxy, children had never crossed her mind. Until Kaidan arrived; all of the sudden she envisioned her , Kaidan, and a little girl with whiskey colored eyes running around the Alenko family orchard. The two had even talked about retiring once the Reapers where dealt with and starting a family of their own. When Miranda had told her about her child, she was devastated. Sure, she wasn't ready to be a mother, and the thought of bringing a child into the world as the Reaper threat still loomed over them was unbearable.
So when Kaidan began telling her of their child, and that it was off somewhere in the galaxy, probably in the Illusive Man's grasp, to say she was heartbroken would be an understatement. There where so many things wrong with Kaidan's story. He knew about her on Horizon, he knew that they had a child, he had known that Cerberus recovered her, and he had helped Elizabeth earn Shepard's trust. The entire time he told his story, she did not move. She didn't say a word. She could feel herself retreating back into her body like she had done so many times before. Mindoir. Akuze. The Cerberus lab. Horizon. Her child. She just wanted to crawl out of her skin, she wanted to stop being Lily Shepard; anyone else would be preferable. Liara had given up her body to Cerberus; Kaidan and Elizabeth both knew. Miranda had given her fake files, and lied to her face. Did Joker know; What about Chakwas? Had they known all along? She felt betrayed, was there anyone on this damn ship who wasn't in on it?
After he had finished his version of the story, she walked silently into the elevator and headed for her quarters. When Joker had announced that they where nearing the Citadel, she was barely recognizable. Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel and the first Human Spectre, laying in her bed un moving, staring at the blank wall. She hadn't cried, she couldn't, what would it change if she just cried? She had went numb; it is much easier to not feel anything than it is to face you're problems, and right now she had to many to take on. With everything going on the fact was, the Reapers weren't going to stop because she was hurt, and she knew she was the only one that stood a chance at defeating them. She dragged herself out of her bed and walked into the bathroom, she didn't recognize the face staring back at her in the mirror. She wiped off her face while applying the mask of the famous Commander.
They had rushed Elizabeth to the hospital and no one said a single word. After settling Elizabeth in to the hospital, Shepard and Liara headed towards the Tower to meet with the council. To Shepard's surprise, they denied her help for earth saying that they had to look out for their own home worlds, she was truly shocked as she rolled her eyes at the council yet again. Maybe one day she would come to them, ask them for help and get it no strings attached; she laughed at herself. Yeah, fucking right. She had zoned out of the speech and began tallying all of the times the council hadn't believed her. She lost count and wondered if she could cash in on any of that now, they were lucky she was silent, she had had enough of their bullshit to last her two lifetimes. The Reapers aren't real, Saren is innocent, you are a traitor, funny, she wasn't a traitor when they needed her. After Liara had bumped her arm and brought her back to the Council, Shepard was more than a little irritated. She would have to remember to mark this day in her calendar as the best fucking day ever, It was even above her dying. God, she needed a drink, or ten. Shepard's eyes where beginning to go fuzzy and the world suddenly got ridiculously hot. Her hands began shaking and she took a step back, thinking that would fix her body. Suddenly she was freezing, drifting away from the Normandy as she could feel the cold air running through the hole in her suit. She was on an operating table in a world that was nearly pure white.
"This isn't right, you can't do this." Miranda's voice cut through she was talking to the holographic image of the Illusive man.
"We must Miranda. You don't really think Shepard will just forget about the experiments that she broke off. She thinks we are terrorists and she will never work for us unless we have something that she cares about. We need to stop the Collectors and Shepard is the only one who can."
"But genetically engineering a child with her and Alenko's DNA to think she has a child is wrong. If you appeal to her and make her see the missing colonists she will help. Hell, she was a colonist she protects them all the time, just look at what she did on Feros."
"We will not discuss this further Miranda, either you do it or I pull you off of this project and I might let it slip to your father where your sweet little sister is."
"Enough!" Miranda said as she turned her head back to Shepard "I need more of his DNA, I don't have enough to work with.
"Done."
"Shepard, are you alright," Liara said as she stepped towards Shepard, the small tremor in her hand had moved to the rest of her body. Before she could even ask Liara for help she fell backwards hitting her head hard against the floor as the world began swirling around her. The boy she had seen on Earth turned and looked at for a moment and ran off, he ran towards a crib. She had just reached the crib as the baby has started screaming. She reached into it to comfort the child, as she had pulled him out, the baby had stopped crying, she had turned back to the older boy who was now smiling. He had a detonator in his hand and giggled as his thumb released the button. She had reached out to stop him as the baby began ticking. She looked down at the cooing baby as it morphed into a bomb, she set the baby back down in the crib and backed away, backing up into Kaidan.
"I told you she breaks everything." Kaidan said as he turned to Liara
"You were right Major," Liara said as she grabbed his hand "I can't believe someone actually spent money on bringing her back."
"I can't believe I followed her for this many years, what a terrible fucking human." Tali and Garrus said in unison as the baby began crying as its ticking grew louder.
"You think that's bad?" Her mother said as she pointed a gun at Shepard "She got us all killed."
"Same here." Ashley said as she fired at Shepard, turning her world black.
Hello, first I just want to thank everyone who has read this story, this isn't the first story I've written, but it is the first one I have posted online so please feel free to review. Secondly, I am really sorry for the delay in this I have been super busy with work and all of that good stuff, but I will do my best to update more often. Thanks.
