Well this was supposed to be a one shot. My friend convinced me to continue it so this chapter is for her. Please read and review. Let me know if you like it, don't like it, have suggestions, comments, ideas, etc. All rights go to the creators of Supernatural
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Most days, Cas is normal, nothing is really bugging him. But like any traumatized person, or being, he has his bad days, and today happened to be one of them. I had thought about going in to work today, but it seemed impossible as Cas was barely able to make it to the table before falling over from exhaustion. It would seem that he was up all night having a conversation with his brother, the Devil.
I guide him to the table where he flops down into the chair and lets his body slump foreword. I have to jump towards him and pull him back to keep him from hitting his head on the glass table top. When he has days like this, it is damn near impossible to leave him alone. He is accident prone, always too tired to actually do anything worthwhile. As soon as I am convinced he won't fall foreword again, I slowly make my way to the counter to fix dinner. I constantly glance back to make sure he doesn't fall or try and get up.
Silently I pull the things off the shelves to make soup and sigh softly. I hear a quiet noise and turn to see Cas talking animatedly to the empty chair beside him. It kills me to see him like this, even though it doesn't happen often. It still hurts, knowing that he took this from Sam for me, and Sam. Not that Sam deserved this fate, but neither does Cas. Even though he made a pretty big mistake, he thought he was doing it for the good of him friends and followers. He wanted to help them and thought that by becoming the new God, he would be able to do that and more. I don't think he knew that by trying to help he would cause a huge slew of different problems; problems that were almost impossible to fix.
Cas slams his hands down on the table and moves to stand up. I walk briskly towards him and put my hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him back down into his seat. He lets his head fall foreword until it touches my chest and I can hear the quiet sobs. He apologizes over and over, a quiet litany that seems to soothe him after a few moments. He eventually looks up at me and I lean him back in the chair so I can see him better. There are bags under his bloodshot eyes and his face droops slightly. His mouth hangs open a bit and tears run down his cheeks. His hair is a tousled mess from him messing with it all day. But the one thing that remained the same is the way he looks at me with grief in his eyes, but that is shadowed by the compassion and gratitude.
I bend down and softly kiss his forehead before walking back to the counter to finish dinner. It will, hopefully, be the one meal he actually manages to stomach. Apparently, Lucifer is continuously making his food look rotten and filled with maggots. If I saw that, I wouldn't want to eat it either, but he has to eat and I will force him to, if it comes to that. As the food cooks, I turn and watch Cas, who gives me a strained smile. If anything, the smile means that he is getting better for the night, which means that I can get him to sleep tonight. Most times this happens, he doesn't sleep for two or three days.
When the food is done, I bring it to the table and watch as Cas grimaces. I lean over and whisper to him that there is nothing in the food, that Lucifer is just playing games with him. He gives me an exasperated look but slowly begins to eat. He gags once or twice, but he manages to get the whole bowl down. The food does him good, gives him color in his cheeks. I hate seeing him like that; it's like watching Sam all over again. Pale cheeks and bloodshot eyes unsettle me, for obvious reasons, but its worse when it happens to someone you love.
Later, when I finally get Cas to bed, he glances up and tells me that he loves me. It makes me smile and brings tears to my eyes. I blink them quickly away, not wanting him to see my pain and kiss his cheek before pulling him close to me. I run my hand up and down his back, soothing him until his eyelids fall shut. I sigh softly and smile before closing my eyes softly and finally voicing my feelings.
"I love you, too, Castiel. I love you, too."
