A/N: Sorry I was away for so long. Summer break hit me and rendered me somewhat comatose for the first few weeks. But I'm back, and so are my muses!

This chapter ranges from comfort to angst to crack, so beware. It's as topsy turvy as a pregnant woman's emotions. (See what I did there?)

Anyhow, please enjoy and we'll see you soon!


The Target in Colorado Springs was on the north end of town. By the time that Jack made his way out of the mountain, got on the interstate and pulled into the parking lot, almost an hour had gone by since he read Carter's note.

Despite it being a Sunday afternoon, it wasn't as busy as he had expected and he found Carter's Volvo parked pretty close to the front.

He parked in front of it and walked inside.

Once he turned the corner and found himself staring at a Starbucks, he began second-guessing his decision. Walter had already mentioned how some people on base were gossiping about the two of them, and even though there was no foundation for it, he was wondering if being seen in the maternity section of Target was such a great idea after all.

Then Sam Carter came around the corner with an empty cart and almost hit him.

"Oh! Sir, I'm sorry, I didn't even see you there," she tried apologizing, in spite of the fact that the cart was still a foot away from him.

"It's okay, Carter, you didn't hit me," he replied, holding up a hand. Noticing the Starbucks cup in her hand, he smiled. "Ya know, if you just wanted coffee, I would've gotten some for you."

She glanced down at it, blue eyes wide, and then looked up. Her smile let him know that she was aware he was kidding. "I've actually been sitting in the café for the last half hour, just having some alone time. It doesn't matter where you go on base. Someone will still find you."

Jack nodded. "This is true. I used to have hiding spots when Hammond was in charge. Now? Nada."

Sam smiled, then tapped her fingers on the handle of the cart. "So, what brings you to Target as well?"

"I got the note from Walter," he answered, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. "Honestly, Carter, I don't know why I'm here, but I felt like I should be here."

"What about everyone on base?"

She wasn't stupid; he would never dream of calling her that. But she had to be aware of the gossiping murmurs that were floating around base just as much as he was.

"Let me deal with them. If we need Doc Fraiser to present a medical symposium to disprove their theories, we will. But for now, let's go find some shirts. I hear they're having a sale."

She laughed and he followed her.


Sam walked in her door that night with three bags of clothes and a general carrying a box behind her. She still felt strange buying it. Given how odd this pregnancy was, she wasn't entirely sure that the baby would even use the swing before he was in elementary school.

O'Neill shut the door behind her and carefully lowered the box to the floor. "You need anything?"

Sam glanced at the white Target bags that she had just set down on the table. "So far, I think I'm good. I have enough clothes for the next week and craving-wise, I'm not feeling anything so far."

The general nodded, rubbing his hands together. The fact that he was slowly inching back to the front door did not escape her notice.

"Thank you for coming with me. You didn't have to do that."

"Oh, pshaw," he replied, waving a hand at her lightly. "I didn't have anything else to do today."

"You're the commander of the SGC. I very much doubt that, sir."

He showed his hands in his pockets. "Well, maybe I wanted to go maternity shopping with my second in command."

"Did you hit your head? Only a moron would go shopping with a hormonal pregnant woman."

He forced a pointed glare in her direction, and she swallowed. "Sir."

Jack sighed, then took his hands out and paced around her to the kitchen. "I don't know, Carter. It just … it just felt right, you know?"

"Sir, you're the father of this … baby. But you're not the father."

He turned and looked over his shoulder as he opened the fridge. Probably searching for a beer hidden behind old Chinese takeout boxes. "That did not make any sense."

She groaned. "You know what I mean. It's not like we're a fam—"

Saying one syllable was too much.

Jack stood up, letting the fridge door close. He pursed his lips, taking a step towards her. "Sam. I am very well aware that we're not family. And I am not at all responsible for your … current situation. And neither are you, but you've still got to go through it. Who says a friend can't help you out?"

Sam sighed, then crossed her arms. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay. Like you said. Crazy, hormonal, pregnant woman."

She nodded, allowing for a moment of silence.

"I didn't say crazy."

"Didn't you?" He smirked at her, and she couldn't help but smile. How did he have a knack for making you forget that you had just said something regrettably stupid?

Sam walked around the couch and sat down on the edge of it, careful of her stomach.

He followed her, taking a seat on the ottoman. "You gonna be okay?"

Her hand wandered to her stomach and rubbed it gently, no longer freaked out by the sensation. "I want my dad," she murmured quietly.

She felt him reach for her hand, tenderly taking it in his. "I'll have Walter dial the Tok'ra. We'll get him here."

"I mean, he may not make it before the baby's born, knowing how long it usually takes to get through to him."

"Hey."

Jack's voice was softer than it had been, causing Sam to look up.

"He'll be here. And until then, you've got me and Uncle T and Uncle Danny. Okay?"

She inhaled deeply, then laughed. She laid back on the couch and he pulled his hand back. "This is so messed up."

"We work at the SGC with a Stargate that travels to planets on the other side of the universe."

"Galaxy," she quietly corrected, still smiling.

"We've been replaced by robots. We've been sent back in time. We've had our memories wiped more times than I care to remember. To be honest, I'm surprised one of us hadn't gotten pregnant by an alien yet."

She raised an eyebrow. "'One of us'?"

"Hey, if Schwarzenegger can get pregnant in a Hollywood movie, then an alien could knock up one of us guys."

"Trust me, it's not as glamorous as it seems."

"I don't know, you seem to be glowing."

She smiled, then patted his hand. "Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for," he replied, standing up. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"I'll be there."

Jack smiled at her, then walked out the door.

Sam leaned back, patted her stomach, then sighed.

On the plus side, the baby wasn't going to get any bigger tonight.


"Yeah?"

Sam frowned at the sleepy tone that she heard on the other end of the phone. "You awake, sir?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"You've said yeah three times in our conversation. Actually, that's all you've said this morning."

She heard a breath on the other end. "I just woke up."

"You're still in bed?"

"Actually, on the couch. I started a Simpsons' marathon when I got home last night."

"Sir, it's nine o'clock."

"That it is."

"You had an 8:30 meeting with SG-14."

He groaned. "Crap."

"It's okay, I handled it. To be honest, I think I probably handled it better from the scientific end, anyway."

"Wait." She heard a noise that sounded like a bottle falling off the couch and onto a rug-covered floor. "You're already at work?"

"Yeah," she replied, turning sideways and looking at her profile in the reflection of the tracking window of the briefing room. "A little someone decided to start kicking me in the middle of the night. I've been here since six."

He groaned, probably from standing. "Sorry about that, Carter. But thanks."

"No problem. By the way, I've organized all the reports that you need to sign off on and Walter has cleared your schedule until you get in. Which would be at what time?"

"Right after I bring you breakfast from wherever you want."

"Cracker Barrel. Chicken fried chicken. And a side of hash brown casserole."

He paused. "You're on the red phone, aren't you?"

"Sir, I'm a lieutenant colonel in the United States Air Force who is four days pregnant with an alien baby and hasn't had breakfast."

"So. Not on the red phone."

"No, sir. Just hungry." She frowned. "What made you say that?"

"You sounded all authoritative. Thought maybe using the red phone was going to your head."

"Sir."

"Be there soon."


Thanks for reading! Look for another chapter this week!