Based on: Final Fantasy Record Keeper

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, Record Keeper, or any of the characters within it.

Note: This story was originally based on a RP with friends on Facebook. I know the last chapter, which was updated months ago, promised a harrowing fight between an incarnation of the Ardent and Hikari with Locke, but I am unable to provide that. She did defeat that particular Ardent monster, but she ended up throwing herself into her studies, convinced she was not strong enough to save those she loved and the only way to save them was to increase her speed. Please understand and I do apologize. I am ready to put this particular incarnation of Hikari to rest, but I have started a new project with SuzuriHeinze. The main story will be on her page. If you are interested, please give it a look!

Warnings: Mention of CanonxOC, Polyamory, Pansexuality. Lots and lots of angst and guilt.

Tanned hands slammed down on the oak desk.

"No, no. No! No! NO!" Hikari sat down in her chair, running her honey fingers through her pink hair. Dozens of books lay open in front of her, all with notes scrawled in the margins of the pages. "None of it is right. Why can't I figure it out?!"

"H-Hikari?" Vivi said timidly as he opened the door. He must have heard her frustration. She sighed and put on a fake smile.

"Yes, Vivi?" He waddled up to her and took a brief glance at the desk.

"You're still reading? Did you go to bed last night? Have you even had anything to eat? You know you have to consume more calories than other Keepers because of your speed…" Hikari dismissed his questions with a wave of her hand.

"I had a granola bar a few minutes ago. Don't worry about me, Vivi. I have to find the key to traveling between the realms without the portraits. My speed is the key, but… I'm just not fast enough." She stared at the bulky mechanical apparatus that lay at the opposite end of the office-lab from its entrance. "I just can't get the calibrations right…"

"I know you're worried about them, Hikari. I told you, all you have to do is ask me and Lulu to accompany you to acquire the Souls the Council charged you to find. I'm sure Dark Knight Cecil would be more than happy to come, and I-I could ask Auron-"

Hikari slammed her hands on the desk again as she stood up, her hair blocking her eyes.

"Don't say his name. He is the entire reason I'm here. Why I got separated from Yunie… If he was really so concerned, he would have come to me the second he was rescued!" Hot tears stung the young Keeper's eyes.

"I'm sure he had his reasons," Vivi's voice was unwavering here. He wasn't scared of Hikari's anger. He knew she wasn't cross with him, just like she wasn't angry with Auron. No, the one Hikari was truly angry at was herself. He knew that she blamed herself for the countless tragedies that had occurred ever since the Ardent became seeping in. She blamed herself for the death of Kazuo, although Dr. Mog had told Vivi his leaving was of his own choosing and no one could persuade him otherwise. She blamed herself for the imprisonment of her lovers, Locke, Tidus, and Yuna. The longer she waited to just go out to look for the Souls while burying her noses in books and running experiments on herself, the angrier she became. Vivi dreaded the news his adopted big sister was about to receive.

"Anyway, that's not why I'm here, Hikari. Dr. Mog wants to speak to you."

Hikari turned away from Vivi, instead choosing to walk away, pick up a wrench that had been laying on the floor and tightening bolts on her machine. Busy work, Vivi realized.

"Too bad. I don't want to see him."

"That's why I came to you, kupo," Dr. Mog's voice rung out.

She spun around.

"D-Dr. Mog! I-I meant no disresepct, I-I…" she dropped the wrench, and it hit the floor with a dull clatter.

"No worries, Hikari. I know what you meant."

"What are you doing here, sir?"

"You knew the Keeper Canti, correct?"

"Yes, sir. Everyone knows of her. Her work in Astronomy is unmatched. I've always looked up to her, and she and I have even begun a friendship, after the… events with the Council and all." Dr. Mog nodded.

"Kupo… Hikari, Canti is dead."

A sharp ring pierced through Hikari's head. She must have heard him wrong. There was no way… Canti was trained as a dragoon, she was so strong…

"I'm sorry, what sir? I didn't hear you."

"Hikari. Keeper Canti has died. I have the ashes of her Grimoire sitting in my office as we speak." The pink haired keeper shook her head, not looking at either Dr. Mog or Vivi.

"That's impossible."

"Hikari…" Vivi said as he reached out to her. She held her hand out to stop him. She finally looked back up, tears spilling down her face.

"I understand this is difficult, kupo. It's last minute, but the rest of the staff and I have organized a memorial service. I've come to fetch you."

"I…" she looked at Vivi, and then at Dr. Mog, and then at Vivi again. Her eyes begged them to tell her this was a joke. The feeling in her gut, like she'd just been sucker punched by a monk, told her they weren't. "Okay," she said meekly.

"Very well. Come on, you two, kupo."


Hikari felt numb as she sat in one of the uncomfortable folding chairs that the university brought out when they had last minute events such as this. She stared into space, unfeeling.

She sat next to Balthier who was sitting next to Minwu, who sat next to Cid at the very end of the row. On her other side sat Vivi and to his right was Kain. Further down the row, she also recognized Vanille. Fang was holding her and comforting her as she cried into her girlfriend's chest. There was a sizable crowd behind them, but she took no notice of them.

She could barely process the kind words everyone had to say. Balthier with his story about one of the times when the princess, as he was known to call Canti, would rebuke him and chastise him. He laughed out soft tears as he recounted how he cared for her. Minwu remarked over the beautiful moments they shared together, that night with the stars overhead. Hikari was slightly surprised. Minwu always came off as private. This was a special circumstance, she supposed, and he knew he had to provide something meaningful. Kain spoke briefly, saying only that Canti would be missed. Hikari imagined he felt guilty like she was, but worse so since he had vowed to protect her. Vanille was unable to compose herself long enough to string together more than two words. Fang wrapped an arm around Vanille and grabbed her other hand, guiding her down the stairs of the stage back to their seats.

The hardest to listen to was Cid. He tapped the microphone before clearing his throat.

"Well, I'm no speaker of fancy words, that's for sure. But Canti, my… daughter, she was special. She always knew the right thing to say when it mattered most, even if no one else wanted to hear it." He laughed. "Especially if no one wanted to hear it. She was strong-willed, head strong, but I'll be damned if she didn't care about her friends. She fought for as long as she was able to." He looked up at the sky, sunny without a cloud in sight. Funny… He thought to himself. It's always rainy and dreary in the books and movies. "I'll keep on fighting for you, baby girl." Cid finished with a nod and returned to his seat.

Finally Dr. Mog invited Hikari to speak. She could feel what she thought were pointed glares of everyone on her, although there was truly no malice behind anyone's glances. She gulped and shakily rose from her sit, her legs immediately buckling under her like Flan jelly. Once she made it through the gauntlet of walking up the steps and across the stage, she stood behind the podium and looked out at everyone in front her.

"I… didn't know Canti personally for that long. Honestly the only time we even spent around each other was when we were both imprisoned..." she looked out into the first row of staff, separate from the griever's seats, and saw Dr. Mog and Dr. Ramuh. "Uh, but I really looked up to her. Her personal research was an inspiration to me and gave me the courage to petition Dr. Mog for independent research."

Hikari scanned the audience. She saw little Einar further back being comforted by Merlin. She saw several heroes. She even saw Auron. Her grip tightened on the podium.

"Canti loved deeply, and her friends loved her, that much is clear," she said slowly, continuing to scan the crowd. Wait. Something was wrong. Where was Clari, Canti's twin? True, this memorial service was put together at the last minute, but there was Shiva sitting next to Ifrit.

"I… will miss her. Thank you all," Hikari finished shakily, tears forming in her eyes. She wasn't sure if she was more saddened by the death of the friend she barely knew or angered by the absence of the twin. Hikari stepped away from the podium and returned to her seat. Cid stood up and patted her on the shoulder as she passed, nodding approvingly.

Dr. Mog said some final words and then invited everyone to the mess hall to enjoy a special meal prepared by the chef. Hikari tried to make a beeline for her office with Vivi calling after her, but Cid stopped her again.

"I wanted to thank ya for what you said up there. I know you didn't know her long, but knowing she made an impact on you…" Hikari could see his eyes glisten. "Ah, damn," he rubbed his nose as he looked at his boots. "I'm gonna, gonna go kill some monsters in the training center." She nodded and understood.

"Hikari?" Vivi asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, a bit harsher than she meant to. "I'm going back to the office to run some numbers." She secured her goggles, which normally dangled around her neck, firmly over her eyes. "Meet me there and be ready to run the experiment."

"But Hikari, your study isn't done yet, you could-" But by the time Vivi started speaking, there was only a pink afterblur where Hikari had been standing.


Vivi walked into Hikari's office later, only to find her putting the finishing touches on the machine they had been building together in an effort to increase Hikari's speed. So far none of her calculations worked and only served as a jolt to her system, usually resulting in the pink haired keeper napping for a good few hours while her metabolism healed her.

"Good, you're finally here. I'm just making the final adjustments now," she said, continuing on with her work with her back to Vivi and the door. She waved her hand towards the desk. "My exact calculations are there on the desk."

"Hikari, why are you doing this?" he inquired as he grabbed the paper off the desk. "This… This is- Hikari! You can't pump the machine this high! You can't inject yourself with liquid wind and white crystals and…. H-Hikari! Th-thundaja?! I'll kill you!"

"You know why I'm doing this, Vivi." Her sweet little brother began crying.

"So let's go and save them! Locke wouldn't want you killing yourself! Neither would Yuna and Tidus!"

"It's too late," Hikari said softly.

"Stop this foolishness at once!" a gravelly booming voice struck out suddenly. Hikari knew that voice. She hadn't heard it since she had first been brought here, all those years ago.

"So you finally came, Auron," she replied, and couldn't resist giving a small laugh. "After all these years?"

"I have been busy. I heed all calls for help." Hikari spun around, angry tears splattering her eyes.

"No! You could have come by at any time. You could have written." He chuckled himself.

"And you could have put in a request to see me. I would have come immediately. I did not want to force my presence on you."

"Force me?! I needed you! All these years I've wondered why?! Why take me from Yunie?! Do you even know what happened to her and Tidus?"

"I am aware. It is my understanding that the Council will allow you to continue your relationship with them and the boy from the Sixth Realm, but all you need is to find three Hero Souls."

"I'm not strong like you or Tidus. Or Dad… I need speed! That is the only way I'll save my friends!" She ran up to him, pushed him, and started beating on his chest. "Why?! If you hadn't brought me here, I could have been Yunie's guardian, I could have…"

"You would have been encased in crystal as all the other heroes were. As such, I was sent to bring you here. You are far too valuable to be resigned to the fate of a hero in this realm," he continued to speak calmly and evenly. This only made Hikari angrier, to which she replied by beating on his chest more. He did not budge.

"You were sent to retrieve me? Bullshit! I know my mother pawned me off to you! She was sick with grief over my father! She hated me…" She tried to hit him again but this time he grabbed her hands tightly and did not let go.

"You are mistaken. Your mother loved you very much. In fact, at first she refused to let you come with me. It was only after I informed her of your hidden potential and promised her you would attend a prestigious school that she let you go. She had faith that you would have a better life than there in Besaid, doing little more than waiting for the new Sin." Hikari refused to look at him while he said this, tears streaming down her face. "Tell me. What would you have done if the Ardent hadn't waged war on all life, you became Yuna's guardian and the story progressed as normal?"

"I… I would have sacrificed myself. If, somehow Tidus hadn't been there to encourage everyone to look for a way to defeat Sin for good… I would have gladly given my life to become her Final Aeon."

"And you would have been then consumed by Yu Yevon's spirit and become the new Sin. Hikari, you know the history of Spira better than anyone here. Dr. Mog told me how absolutely brilliant you are. Hikari, your mother, and your father, would have been proud of you and your accomplishments. But you cannot throw it away now." The tanned girl weeped against his chest, once again that small child Auron met years ago.

"But it's too late. I'm sorry Auron. I have to fix this. I have to fix everything. Vivi, it's time." Vivi wiped his tears and nodded. Even if he didn't understand her motives… even if he didn't agree with her actions, he was her little brother. She saved him from his crystalline prison and from that day forth he vowed he would be of use to her.

He strapped her into the machine as Auron voiced his protest.

"Please, Auron." He turned away, refusing to watch.

Vivi started up the apparatus, a large whirring hum deafening all of them. He took the special blend of liquid wind and white crystals that was laced with fine shards of vitality, spirit, and dexterity motes that Hikari had prepared in a syringe.

"Are you sure you want to do this Hikari?" he asked as he held the needle against her arm. She gulped, and nodded.

"Do it, Vivi." He punctured her skin, dug deep and begun to depress the plunger, sending the concoction of Hikari's creation into her blood stream. Vivi ran a few meters back and pulled out his Oak Staff, tears in his eyes.

"Thundaja!" A bright blinding flash as Hikari threw her head back and screamed in agonizing pain. And then the spell was over, with the keeper huffing.

"Again."

"Th-Thundaja!" More screaming. Vivi's tears threatened to permanently stain his face. Auron couldn't stand it.

"Stop it! You're killing her!"

"I-I…" The timid young black mage continued to weep, unable to speak. Hikari's screaming once again ceased as she struggled to regain her breath.

"A…. Again…"

"Please, Hikari, stop this! A person can't take two strong Thundajas from someone as powerful as Vivi! Please let us take you to see Minwu or Aerith." Auron begged Hikari. "I won't leave you again. I will protect you. Please, please just give me the chance!" Now even Auron was crying.

"I can't. Auron, please take care of Vivi. Please tell Big Sister Lulu…. I'm sorry… Vivi, one more time."

"Th… Thundaja!" This time there were no screams. She had no vocal chords left to scream with. Hikari's face began peeling as she started combusting from the inside. The pink explosion that was Hikari expanded out violently, knocking both Vivi and Auron back with the force of a Comet spell and continued to flush out through the hall and throughout the rest of the campus. The last thing of Hikari Vivi and Auron saw before Hikari was completely consumed was her eyes. Those beautiful eyes that reflected the calm blue sea of Spira.

-END-