A/N Takes place post-series. Dedicated to The Quote Bandit, as requested!


Freedom is the freedom to say two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. ~ 1984, George Orwell


Domino is much colder than Egypt.

(Too cold, some part of him tells him…some part that isn't there anymore.)

When Ryou steps off the plane, he shivers. He hates the cold.

Above him, snow has just begun to fall. Ryou cringes. As far back as he can remember, he has never liked the snow.

(As far back…)

Yuugi says something to him, but Ryou ignores it.

-0-

The day after they return from Egypt, Ryou does not return to school with the others.

He can't. (The thought, the sickening thought of having to see them, his friends, having to look them in the eye after everything, was just too much.)

Plus, there is no one there to force him. According to Yuugi anyway…and it is believable, isn't? The ring is gone and he saw the Pharaoh cross over with his own two eyes.

It was real. (Wasn't it?) The spirit of the ring is gone. He is free.

Ryou clutches his head and sinks down to the floor, pulled by invisible chains that should be gone by now. There is a sharp pain in his chest, like that of five pendants digging into his skin…

But there is nothing there.

Even though he feels it, it's not real.

(Familiar despair sets in, and even though everything has changed…nothing has.)

-0-

It's a dream. Anything good is always a dream.

Beautiful though, even if it isn't real. A great wide open field at the bottom of a hill is blanketed in snow and above him a tree is coated in icicles. Surreal.

Behind him, he hears laughter. Sweet laughter, giggly and carefree, the laughter of a child.

Ryou turns around and in the distance he sees a girl playing in the snow.

(He searches for more detail, the colors of her clothes, her height, but the dream will not allow it.)

Ryou runs closer, even though he knows he shouldn't. Never before was he allowed to get any closer to the girl then he is now. When he tried, the light grey sky would flash to black and the girl would disappear. And then there would be laughter, but of a different kind…

"I love the snow, don't you Ryou?" She calls out to him.

Ryou opens his mouth to call back, to ask her who she is and how she knows him, but no words come out.

(Is the spirit of the ring still here, still residing in the dark corners of his mind?)

She keeps calling to him, the same phrase again and again, but Ryou doesn't move from his spot.

He doesn't want to hear that laughter.

(It can't really be gone.)

-0-

Ryou goes to school the next day.

He should after all. The last thing he wants to do is stand out and besides he has Yuugi's friendship to maintain.

It's snowing. Some part of him (commands, forces) tells him he hates the cold. So he does.

(Better safe the sorry, Ryou thinks to himself, better to listen then face the consequences.)

School isn't like it usually is; there is no haze-like fog. Ryou feels everything. He feels the kids mutter about him behind his back, feels their stares. Even…even Yuugi's smile reaches him today.

(He ignores these feelings as best as he can.)

It's only by his body's routine that he knows what classes he has and where they are. Math is his first period, though he couldn't tell what kind if someone asked.

Or what their homework was.

Or the teacher's name.

(Another feeling he ignores bubbles to the surface. Loneliness.)

The teacher, a tall bulky man with black hair, writes a problem on the board and tells the class to solve it.

Ryou can't. Numbers and the symbols all blur together into a blob of…nothing. He searches through his memory for something, anything that would help him with this.

But there is only fog.

A wave of hysteria crashes over him. He can't do anything without the fog, he needs the fog to come back, how will he ever live without? Ryou can't remember anytime without fog…

His pencil snaps in half. He was squeezing it too tight.

Ryou takes in a deep breath. There was no choice. He had to do this.

(There was no choice in any and all of the matters of the ring, so he should be use to it.)

Okay. Okay. He would solve this.

The white-haired boy picks up the remains of his pencil and in the margins of his paper begins to scribble all the things he can see through the fog.

Back to basics.

2+2=4

-0-

It's been a month since his time in Egypt and no one has noticed a changed in Ryou. Probably because there was none.

None, except for one.

His math grade is up. For once, there is a class he looks forward too. Ryou loves math. More than creampuffs and role-playing games.

(Maybe even more than having Yuugi as a friend.)

Math was certain. They would always be an answer; it was solvable. Not at all like life, his in particular. Life was a paradox, though it paraded around as being simple it was really full of doubts, lies and slavery. There was no answer to life, no hidden meaning or missing variable. It was pointless.

Math was definite. You could not change the answer without changing the problem. No one could ever tell you that two plus two equals five, that was impossible. Ryou loves that about math. The stability. His life had been forcefully shaped by others, but nobody could do what they did to him, to numbers. The answer would always be the answer.

Despite all the lies (despite himself), two plus two would always equal four.

Nobody (not even, he thinks dangerously, the spirit of the ring) could ever change that.

-0-

It's that dream again.

The one with the girl he can't see and her beautiful laughter.

"I love the snow, don't you Ryou?"

No, he thinks with ferocity, I hate it.

(He's not sure why though.)

She pays no attention him and plays in the snow some more. That's when Ryou decides that he is going to see her face.

He dashes from the top of the snowy hill and down to where the girl is. She, as always, does not stop her playing. Like a broken record.

(Again and again and again until he can solve the puzzle.)

So close! Ryou reaches out to grab her, so he can see her eyes (all he sees is a blurred out face - and he knows there is more to this girl, he is certain. It's true.) but she slips from his grasp.

And the small girl runs farther away from him.

-0-

The mirror is a liar.

He stares at it every day but it only shows his face. Just his face. However, Ryou knows it's lying.

(It has to be.)

Unable to bare the lies, he covers them all up with sheets.

It doesn't change anything, though.

-0-

Ryou won't run after the girl this time around. It won't do him any good. No, this is a dream, after all. The girl won't know anything he doesn't know.

The dream is a problem, an equation. Ryou will find the answer, even if it means all he can do is watch her hazy body play in snow. There has to be an answer.

(There just has to be.)

She throws great big handfuls of snow in the air and as always calls out to him.

"I love the snow, don't you Ryou?"

Who are you? He longs to call out, even if it is pointless. All he wants is name, just to know this girl has a name.

Then, suddenly, it comes.

Like a burst of sunshine through fog, Ryou knows.

Amane.

("Yeah, I do Amane. I love the snow…")

Her name is Amane. Ryou feels this with every fiber in his being. He is certain. It's true.

Certain. True.

(The world can't be divided into just truth and lies…so maybe this was a true-certainty? Not a whole truth, there was no such thing, but pretty close?)

Amane, Amane. The name is familiar and it belongs to him (however weird that sounds), he can tell. But he can't remember her. When he tries, all he sees is fog.

(From then on, every night before he goes to bed Ryou prays for sunshine.)

-0-

Ryou quickly rips off the sheet from the mirror, like ripping off a band-aid. The faster you do it, the less it will hurt.

(And to see just himself and nothing else looking back at him hurts so much as it is.)

But it must be done. To find the truth, (to finally be free from everything), to just know! He just wants to know.

Ryou deserves that much.

(There is nothing to be afraid of now. The spirit is gone…the spirit is gone. That is true - he is certain!)

Starring into the mirror, he tries to see past the fog the spirit created.

The truth.

(Something real, something definite.)

Then again, the truth (of this, of the past few years) was subjective. It changed.

When he called Yuugi friend he meant that. That was true. And when he promised to protect Yuugi (at any and every cost) he had meant that…but was it true? Ryou realizes this then, that as time passes, the line between truth and lie blurs. The things he meant and the things he felt back then (Was it really so far away? Was it really only three years?) did not always equate as true. He lied - lies - not only to others but to himself. Mostly himself. But Yuugi…Yuugi is always the exception, the rule breaker. He had never lied to himself about Yuugi. That was true; that was undeniable. But he had lied to Yuugi, that was undeniable as well. And he had failed. (Failed to protect him, failed to be worthy of his friendship, failed to like him as a person and not just as a shining ray of hope…) Wasn't failure just another form of lying?

How many lies had he told?

He stares at his reflection but it never gives him the answers.

-0-

Amane was real.

Ryou adds that to his list of true-certainties (two plus two equals four, the spirit was gone …).

Nothing could ever make her unreal. He may have forgotten her (she may have been stolen from him). But she had existed. She had been real; she had been true. He feels her in his dreams.

He'll find her. If he has to stay up every night, if he has to suffer through all his dreams. If he has to call his father. He'll find her.

(This was another true-certainty, though Ryou doesn't fully realize it at the time.)

Rebellion was a wonderful feeling, even if his oppressor was gone.

-0-

His…friends, only because there was no other word for them, cross the street. Talking and giggling and being happy.

Ryou doesn't move from his spot on the sidewalk. He's always behind them; he can't never just catch up.

(He can never be happy.)

Jounouchi turns around and motions for him.

"Oi!" he says, "What are you waiting for Bakura?"

Ryou doesn't have an answer.

(And, many days later when he lies awake at night listening to the echo of Jounouchi's question, he still can't answer.)

-0-

Ryou remembers.

Everything.

He remembers how it all started. From the very beginning, before he was named Ryou Bakura. When the Pharaoh condemned a village of thieves, when that village's souls were burned to create the millennium items…

Then he remembers the millennium ring, how it came as a gift from his father (his father… Ryou remembers that now too, though wishes he didn't) and how it hadn't always been apart of him. In fact, he had only been part of the ring for a couple of years…even if his soul told him it had been an eternity. He remembers that it's gone and that he should be happy about that.

But most importantly, he remembers Amane. In his mind he can see all of her perfect imperfections. They way her teeth were slightly crooked, how her light blue hair fell down her face in soft curls that would always be tangled and ratted by the end of the day. She had a laugh like wind chimes and she loved the snow.

Ryou loved the snow, too.

(The weight of all of that, of Amane and Kul Elna and Freedom crashes down on him.)

He suffers.

-0-

"Hey, hey! Bakura-kun! Wait up!" Yuugi calls, running after him.

Ryou doesn't want to stop. He has been avoiding Yuugi for some time now. There was a reason, of course. He was trying this new thing out - honest. Where he said only the things that were true. But Yuugi…Yuugi made that impossible. All the honest things Ryou had to say would only hurt him.

(And Yuugi doesn't deserve them anyway. Not really.)

Even though he knows this, he stops. Running was something he had always been forced to do. He wouldn't run anymore.

"Hello, Yuugi," Ryou says and gives a polite smile.

"Bakura." Yuugi's eyes are filled with worry. He opens his mouth to say more, but then looks down at the ground.

Ryou's heart skips a beat.

"Have you…" Yuugi trails off and is still staring at the ground, "Have you been avoiding me?"

The honest is answer is yes.

"I've just been busy."

Half-true. That was better than no truth at all, right?

"Oh."

They are both looking down at the ground, towards their shadows.

Finally, Yuugi regains his courage.

"Are you okay, Bakura-kun?"

(No, but -) "I will be."

That was a certainty. Ryou smiles at Yuugi, and somehow through all the lies and the mistakes and the trauma, he means it.

"I have to go now, Yuugi-kun." A goodbye if Ryou ever said one.

Yuugi's eyes cloud over a bit; he understands.

"Oh, goodbye then Bakura-kun," a pause, "Will I see you around?"

"Maybe, I think…yeah, maybe."

That was another truth. Maybe he would be Yuugi's friend (a real friend, not the pretending thing they have now) someday. Maybe they could start over from scratch and be able to leave their past behind. Maybe Ryou could be Yuugi's friend despite everything the spirit had done.

Maybe.

And if not, that would be okay. Because it would be his choice.

Ryou leaves, but of his own accord.

-0-

He is standing on a snowy hill top, the wind blowing the falling snow in every direction. There is no laughter and no girl waiting for him at the bottom, but that's okay.

(Being alone, that was okay.)

A snowflake falls on his lips.

It tastes of warmth and choices and love and memories. All the precious little freedoms.


A/N It's safe to say that this oneshot really doesn't deserve George Orwells awesome name on it. But I did work really hard.

Late chapter is late for a REAL REASON. Against my sanity's wishes, I've decided to do NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) this year. Been getting my outline together.

I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!