Chapter 14

Though it irritated her a lot the last time it happened, Cara couldn't have been more relieved when alarm blared a second time to interrupt her, but this time it actually gave her the reprieve to work on her own little side mission. Acutely aware and under no illusions that Stark had likely told JARVIS she wasn't allowed of the premise with this mission coming so close to the attack on her in the gym; it even had Cara a little on edge that she for once wouldn't gripe about being treated like this.

After the effects of the muscle relaxant had worn off, Cara immediately went to retrieve a bowl of ice cream and a glass of ginger ale before going back to her room where she found a laptop lying on her chair. "JARVIS, what is this?" she asked as she set down her snack and pulled the curtains on her window down so no one could look in.

She wasn't going to scoff at the thought now that she knew Trick Shot was after her, but as good as his aim was, even he couldn't see through walls.

"Mr. Stark insisted that you have this; he was not thrilled with the idea of using the tower terminals for any of your pregnancy research." JARVIS replied.

'So that's how Stark got to the gym so fast.' Cara thought absently, but still snorted. "That implies he already looked at some pictures." She said and moved herself, her snack and her laptop to the bed, powering up the computer and when the search engine came on, she type in her old mentor's name.

Most of the results were not unexpected, as they were about the circus with Cara even catching a glimpse of a younger her in some of the picture's background. Cara snorted again, this time in self-deprecation; if only she could tell that sixteen-year-old what would be happening in just a few short days. The turn-out had brought in more profit than usual, and Cara had walked in on Jacques stealing at just the wrong moment…

Cara shook her head as she continued the web search, feeling vaguely ridiculous for looking for something she didn't even know what she was searching for. A recent sighting? A-

'Death certificate?' Cara thought incredulously and as she read the article attached, the only thing she found out was not helpful. Cara ran a hand over her hair. 'Great, my one lead is dead and now Steve's probably gonna feel even guiltier.' she thought as the only conclusion she could draw was that this was someone trying to hurt Steve through her.

Though still hungry, but too anxious to eat, Cara closed the laptop and went into the hallway in search of a phone. "JARVIS, what's the number for the Bugle? It's time to put a rest to these rumors about Steve and I."

"You will find the number in the directory. Mr. Stark always like to keep the press on hand." JARVIS said.

"You're kidding," Cara said flatly; she'd at least suspected Stark to know the numbers to the newspapers, but to this extent? "If this is the new Tony Stark, I would have hated to have seen the old one." She muttered and was connected to the Bugle's receptionist desk. "This is Hawkeye," she began, her tone restrained as she didn't want to make things worse and add any fuel to the fire by making vehement denials about her and Steve's relationship, "tell your boss, please, to do a retraction of your article about me, as we can both assure you that there is nothing between us. Have a nice day."

Cara slammed the phone down, as her anger finally got the better of her, but hoped her flat and even tone would convey what she thought of their article. 'Still, it's probably a bit much to expect a retraction from them, but I'll take what I can get.' she thought and made her way back to her room.

The blond contemplatively ate her ice cream, and absently poured some of her drink into the bowl. She didn't grimace at the taste, just the thought of what to do after and that led to some unsettling questions about the baby as well. While she was tentatively willing to accept the kid, and despite the fact it was growing normally, she was still nervous about what would come out of her as all she'd seen on her sonogram was a blob spot.

After all that happened once she'd gotten her ultrasound done, it was settling in again about all the worries she had. The simple fact this baby wasn't fully human could have all sorts of effects on her, and regular human pregnancy was complicated enough as it was. Setting her empty bowl down on her nightstand, Cara leaned back against her headboard and distractedly rubbed her stomach. "JARVIS, did Banner get the results before everyone else left?"

"He did, Agent Barton, and your assumptions were correct." JARVIS replied.

Cara yawned as she closed her eyes. "It's weird though, how could someone have stolen Buck's stuff? I shouldn't have been right if he's dead." She muttered and began to drift off.

It just didn't make sense.


Cara turned in her sleep, the strain of the rubber band of her ponytail pulling her hair tight and it brought out of the sounds of explosions ringing in her ears and the sight of the SHIELD agents she'd shot down lying on the ground, but the pull on her hair also brought the feel of phantom fingers in her hair and her eyes snapped open, her breathing erratic as she wildly looked around her darkened room. She tried to get her breathing under control, wincing as she felt her stomach twist and it sent her running for the bathroom to heave.

Cara coughed when she was done, wiping the sweat from her brow and rinsed out her mouth. While not as frequent, the nightmares still sent her into a panic that each time made her want to forego sleeping ever again. Running a hand through her hair and sending the rubber band flying into the sink, she wondered if she was really kidding herself about being alright.
Cara went back into her room and picked up the empty bowl and cup, shudder with how cold she felt. 'No more eating ice cream before I go to sleep.' she thought and made her way down to the kitchen. She put the bowl into the sink and refilled her glass, knowing that she'd need it to settle her stomach.

"Cara?"

The blonde tried not to jump, and was immediately racked with self-loathing at being so skittish. She turned around as Natasha turned on the light. "'Tasha, how did the mission go?"

"It went well." Natasha replied, but seemed a bit distracted, which put Cara on full alert. "In fact, it was also too easy, and Director Fury is under the same assumption that it's because of all the Chitauri tech floating around."

"Let me guess," Cara started, her tone kept deliberately calm, but inside her heart beat increased, "Director Fury also thinks that these attacks are a distraction?"

"He's going to pull me from the team; he wants me to track down any of the alien tech." Natasha replied bluntly.

Cara managed to keep her face composed despite how she felt like panicking. "I hope it won't be before I have to go to my first Lamaze class, people would start talking if I took one of the guys."

Almost unwillingly, Natasha's mouth quirked up for a moment. "That's not the point though, is it?" she asked seriously.

"We can function without each other," Cara said defensively, "it's just I'll be around people-men even-that I don't really know. I could read their profiles and still know nothing about them."

"Do you want me to point out the obvious answer for you?" Natasha asked flatly.

Cara's lips pursed. "No, I know full well that I could just talk to them, but you know how I am with men; with every one of them I talk to or try to trust ends up leaving me to rust."

"You trust Director Fury." Natasha pointed out.

Cara grimaced. "I'm still giving that one time." She admitted and ran a hand through her hair again. "I just don't know whether or not it's worth getting attached with the guys." She said and whispered her next sentence, shamefaced, "I'm actually hoping it's not a boy, I'd hate to know how my bad luck would affect him."

Natasha stepped forward, her hand suddenly gripping Cara's shoulder almost painfully. "You do realize I was left by a man I had cared for, don't you?"

Cara did, as when they talked to each other about themselves; it had been one of the harder things to wheedle out of the redhead. While also distant in her own way toward people, Natasha had sought to make the best of the Avenger situation by doing what she did best; adapting. It starkly contrasted with how Cara attempted to isolate herself from everyone, too embittered and wary to fully trust men again.

"Well, you always were better at pulling yourself back together." Cara said quietly.

If Natasha had any dark remarks to throw at her about how broken they both were; she kept it to herself in favor of another approach. "Then don't think of it as getting to know them; think of it as your own personal mission."

Cara doubted it even that would help much, but even with all the scorn she'd heaped on Steve, he hadn't left her yet. She still thought he was a bit smothering and it unnerved her at times as she was unused to friendly interactions of the opposite sex; Stark and his snarkiness she could handle, even Banner's awkwardness she could handle, but not Steve. She'd agree they were friends, but not very good ones with how she recalled most of their encounters going.

She need not look further than her busted up hand for proof.

Although she was forced to admit they had been getting better, even with Cara still being stubborn about it. Sighing, the blonde knew that for relative security she should better get to know her teammates. 'My pregnancy is only going to make me even more vulnerable as the months go by, and I'll need to at least try and be a bit friendlier.' she thought grudgingly. "My own mission, huh? I'd make some joke about snapping, but I know how inappropriate that would be."

"At least you're learning." Natasha said straight-faced.

Although still uneasy about the redhead's uncertain departure, Cara still felt her mood lighten up for a brief moment. "I knew you cared." She teased lightly.

Natasha's mouth quirked up again. "Don't go telling anyone, I have a reputation of my own to uphold."

Cara smiled slightly and enjoyed this moment of reprieve, even if she knew it wouldn't last for long once reality set in yet again.