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21. Uruz - Unexpected Change
Although Loki still held Angrboda by the throat, the woman stared fearlessly into his eyes. "Three days," she repeated. At that the edges of her form began to melt; he cried out and tried to grasp her, but she disappeared under his fingers like mist.
His lips curling with anger, Loki let go another long stream of Norse curse words. Natasha assumed that was what they were, at least - his entire frame trembled with fury. "I know you're seriously pissed, but could you just focus for one second?" she asked. "I could really use your help so I don't - you know - die."
Loki grimaced, his upper lip becoming white as he tried to control himself, and turned to Natasha. "Let me see the marks." Cautiously he brushed the three runes, now outlined in green instead of red. "Uruz, Thurisaz, and Hagalaz – Ox, Thorn, and Hail."
"Ox! That was the huge beast." Jane hit herself on the head with the heel of her palm. "Oh, I really don't deserve the title of scientist any longer if I can't identify frigging animals…"
"You said you saw the beast in a whirlwind of dust. What could that mean?" Still holding Natasha's wrist, Loki frowned at Jane.
"I have no idea. I definitely got the image, though…"
"Try again. Show her your arm, Natasha," Loki insisted.
Jane cleared her throat and carefully touched the wrist before nodding. "Yes, I still see the ox in the center of a storm. Clods of mud, even stones whirl around him."
"What on earth does it mean?" Natasha felt bewildered. She would have killed for a dirty martini with extra olives at that moment.
With a loud oath, Loki dropped her hand and stalked forward and slammed his fist into the trunk of the nearest tree. "I handed your life to the witch in a moment and offered to pay for the privilege! Why did I not see who she was? Of all beings in this or any other realm, I should be able to see past the masquerade Angrboda put up." He added more rude-sounding Norse words and slammed his bleeding knuckles into the trunk again.
"I am counting to one hundred." Natasha put her hands on her hips and raised one brow.
"Why? What is the purpose of doing so?" Loki snarled.
"That's exactly how long you have to beat yourself up. It's done, it happened, and by the way the runes are reversed now. All I have to do is pass three little surprise quizzes: that's cake. As I mentioned, I could use a little help, though."
"I think I know what you need to do," Sif announced. She pointed to the door of the huge stone and dirt mound. "Look."
The door now bore the Uruz rune. "Huh," Natasha muttered as she felt the figure carved into the door. It felt as though it had been there for centuries. "That wasn't there a minute ago. Mud and stones, huh? You were spot on, Jane."
"This is dark magic," Loki warned.
Natasha looked around. "Still, it looks as though I have no other choice. Well, who's up for some fun?"
Sif grinned and drew her sword. "I thought you would never ask it!"
"Sure," Jane agreed.
"I am ready of course, but the last thing I want you to do is enter that accursed dwelling." Loki's nostrils flared as he regarded the door.
"We really don't have another option. C'mon, let's check it out. Maybe Angrboda has a liquor cabinet." Natasha winked, wrapped her fingers around his sleeve and pulled him to the door, which opened easily with one touch. "See? Someone was expecting us."
She and Loki entered, but when Sif and Jane tried to follow some unseen force stopped them. "We can't follow you inside!" Jane called. Her voice sounded hollow and muted, as though she was talking on the other end of a really bad phone connection.
"Okay, just wait for us and keep safe." Natasha gave them a thumb's up and regarded the interior of the dwelling. It was dark, of course – that was only to be expected. Strange humped objects lurked in the corners, and somewhere a creature moved, its claws clicking on the floor.
Loki put his arm around her waist and whispered, "Stay close by my side. I will not answer for what we may encounter. Although at this moment, I am angry enough to pray for a fight. What would I not give to be able to thump some skrull's head or sew up Angrboda's lips for her?"
"I'd love some real action myself, not this dirty runic magic shit. Like, a stakeout with me on the business end of a distance rifle would be sweet right about now." Nodding, Natasha moved with him through a long, dark room. It narrowed at the end into a stubby passage with holes leading off on both side.
At the end there was a larger hole. Natasha pointed to it, and Loki nodded. Slowly they moved in that direction. "It is like a room, but a very troll-like version of one," he said. "Ugh! And that stench – 'tis truly foul."
At that, a light flickered. Someone within had lit a lantern, and by its flame Natasha was able to see what lay in the space.
A man dressed in a white coat stood by a metal table, holding a hypodermic in one hand and a lamp in the other. As he set the lantern down on the metal table, he looked completely innocuous if also out-of-place, with horn-rimmed glasses and an old-fashioned haircut.
When she saw him Natasha shuddered, held onto Loki's arm for support, and shook her head. "Oh, no," she said. "No, I can't do that. Not the injections – anything but that, okay?" A boiling rage filled her lungs, and she darted forward to stab her finger into the man's face. "I can't do that again!" she shouted. "I already fulfilled my obligations to the Red Room!"
"'Just one little prick and it is over," the man said. "Is that not what they always told you?"
Loki reached her side, his nostrils flaring. His dagger was already in one hand, but when he thrust it at the man in the white coat it went through the doctor's body as though it were never there. "Come back this instant and fight me like the son of a whore you are!" he shouted.
The man reappeared on the other side of Natasha, and he indicated a chair. "As you wish, but her mark of Uruz will never leave until she has all of this in her veins." As he spoke, he held up the hypodermic. It was filled with a thick, black liquid that seemed to move and boil as they gazed at it.
Natasha expelled a long, shuddering sigh. "We should have known whatever was inside of this hellpit would really suck." She warded Loki off with one hand as he threatened the doctor again with his dagger and groaned. "I guess it's the only way. I – I think I can do this…" She moved to the seat, but Loki stopped her.
"No. Give it to me instead. Whatever it is, I was the one who should pay forfeit, not this sweet life."
The man shook his head. "As I stated, her first stave will stay with her forever until she alone receives the entire ampoule into her system. And, as we all know, 'forever' now means three days for Agent Romanoff." He flicked the glass tube with one fingernail, in the manner of a comfortable, staid family doctor.
"It's okay, Loki." Natasha sat in the chair, rolled up her sleeve, and beckoned to the doctor. "Do it quickly, before I…"
Her voice died out. Loki knelt next to her and picked up her other hand. He stared into her eyes intently as the man raised the needle and jabbed it into her forearm.
Natasha felt the cold of the metal, followed by the colder liquid. Quickly the temperature turned to a fevered burn as the stuff hit her veins; as her heart thumped, the alien liquid swirled through her body. She felt her legs spasm, begin to drum on the ground, and she knew she was going into a seizure.
In the Red Room the inmates had a sordid joke that there were two kinds of injections: the bad ones and the really bad ones. She had just been given the second.
Natasha heard a gasp and the lights went out as her head slammed forward hitting the table. Next a strong arm lifted her to drag her away from the metal table, the smiling doctor, and the lantern-lit room. Vomit surged in her throat and she couldn't help spewing the stuff on the floor; even as Loki helped her out of the strange dwelling she retched up more and more bile until she collapsed in the dirt at his feet.
There was a small fire, and by its light Jane and Sif prepared to lie down for the night silently, without any of their usual conversation. Loki was missing; once he had helped Natasha to her small bedroll, he had taken off into the forest and hadn't returned.
She couldn't blame him. Now that he knew what she was, what had happened to her all those years ago, how could he stand to be near her? The black liquid still seared her arteries, doing fuck-all to her innards and DNA.
"We should get some sleep. Who knows what the morning will bring?" Jane leaned back. "Would you like some more water, anything?"
"No. Just leave me alone." Natasha lay down and closed her eyes, felt burning tears squeeze out from under the lids. By the light of the fire she held up her wrist; even though it was dark, she could see only two runes remained.
Her lungs expanded, contracted – two bellows made of flesh still doing their job. What did they care she was broken, hurting, burning with fear and sadness! They would continue to drag air in and out, making her survive until – until she didn't have to any longer. That was all.
Just when she was about to get up and start searching the forest, she felt Loki come and lie next to her. Although the flames had subsided to glowing coals, she could make out his profile with the slightly hawkish nose, the arrogant lift of the chin. He pillowed his head on one arm and regarded the thorn trees overhead, but other than that there was no movement.
She waited until she thought he must be asleep. Carefully she moved out of the bedroll to steal away; she couldn't lie there any longer.
One long arm shot out and grasped hers. "Where are you going?" he whispered.
Natasha took a long, shuddering breath. "I can't lie here any longer or I'm going to lose my mind."
"By the Gods! I know exactly what you mean." He jumped up and held out his hand for hers. "Come."
He stalked into the darkness, towing her with him. At length she tugged on his hand, to slow him down. "Hey. Talk to me."
Loki stopped and faced her. Never had she seen him look so patrician, so severe. He might have been carved out of marble. "Well? Do you really wish to talk to me?"
"Wish?" Natasha lost the last thread of her temper. "Wish? Now you have seen what I truly am. I know it, and now you know it as well. How did you enjoy that little display I just put on? Nice, wasn't it? Imagine that every week for six months. So - yeah, I wish a lot of things would happen, but probably none of them will come true. I'm a freak."
With a curse he pulled her into his arms. "A freak? I am …" He expelled a long breath. "I do not have the right to touch your hand, and yet here I am daring to hold you in my arms. All of this has been done to you because of me. I thought I knew the bounds of your courage, and yet you prove me wrong time and time again – tonight more so than ever."
She felt a sob go through his entire frame, and with a wild relief coursing through her she laughed shakily and pulled his head to rest in the crook of her neck. "I thought you would be disgusted – you would want me to release you from our vows. When you saw it, you were witness to what happened to me – on every level, right down to my cellular makeup. To my very atoms. No one else has seen that part of me – no one who still lives, at any rate."
Loki responded with a groan and kissed her neck wildly, panting with sorrow and near loss. "That you should have to go through it again, and on my account! I felt the shame pour through me like ice. I could not bear to face you."
"Shh," she said, stroking his hair. "Shh."
They stood, chest-to-chest, arms around each other for a long time simply feeling each other breathe before Loki raised his head with one of his characteristic quick gestures. "Behold a further example of my selfishness – when you should be asleep, darling."
The darkness swirled around them, and in a blink she found herself back in her blankets. Loki lay next to her, and when Natasha reached out she felt his fingers caress hers. "Rest now," he whispered.
"Okay, but I wanted to let you know the first rune is gone. It worked, Loki."
His smile was just visible by the dying embers. "That is something at least. A pair of trials more, and I shall be by your side every moment."
"You two might not wish to slumber, but some of us would enjoy the rest." Sif's voice, filled with exasperation, ended the conversation.
Her hand in his, Natasha fell into a dark sleep without any dreams.
