Dean wasn't surprised by the break up, he was actually quite relieved but that feeling left an aching pit in his stomach, and how could he feel happy about a break up. He carried on a relationship with someone he didn't have romantic feelings for, and the worst part is he wasn't even going to break up with her. "By god" Dean thinks to himself "I must be pretty fucked up". Dean knows the only reason he kept up with his fantasy relationship was because he felt neglected of human contact, the feel of someone holding you and having this unspoken understanding between one another is like a drug, and Dean needed a fix. Dean in a way loved Jo but his feelings could never really developed. He loved the little things she did but there something missing, which Dean feels could have been passion. Love without passion tends to burn its self out, but passion can burn and devour love whole.

Dean feels the days pass him by and in those days he finds himself happier when his time is spent with Castiel. Dean doesn't know why but he thinks of Cas often, in everything he does Cas is there. Cas motives Dean, he gives him a new life to live. He doesn't feel worthless when with Cas, he feels free, and that's what scares Dean the most, needing someone so much that without them you wouldn't know how to survive. He never wants anyone to have that much power over him but yet Cas is different it's like if he had Dean's heart it wouldn't be trampled on, it would be protected and cared for. Dean feels this and much more while hiding in the corner of Cas's room, he knows Castiel would never ridicule him feeling this but he keeps quite because these feelings are as new to Dean as they probably are to Cas.

"Dean!" Shouts Cas while taking Dean out of his stupor

"Yes!" Dean scrambles to say

"Were you listening to me?"

"Yeah, I was you were talking about a um…how… what was it…oh I know bananas skins were once thought to have psychoactive tendencies." Said Dean with a mimicking smile, but froze as like in a trance because there was something about Cas that Dean couldn't quite put his finger on. The way he talked about unimportant facts and trivial things the more it made is eyes light up. Dean liked this most about Cas, whenever he was immensely happy his eyes would light up. Dean found himself moving closer and closer to Cas like he was hypnotized. And as Cas continued talking Dean found himself out of his body and kissing him, but as soon as Cas kissed him back he felt every sensation, his heart leaped, his pupils dialed and his hands start to shake, and Cas's hands oh god were holding to Dean tightly. The room was falling into the background, leaving Dean to hear and feel all of Cas. They were surrounded by all of their emotions which were flowing around them peacefully. Dean holds on tight to this feeling but as soon as Cas leaves Dean's grasp the feelings are gone leaving an absent feeling in Dean. He then backs away from Cas who himself looks terrified. Cas sits there thinking about the kiss and Deans lips upon his own and that leaves Dean standing there alone in the corner not talking but staring at Cas. They don't speak they don't say a word and that's where they leave it, unspoken.


Sam is sitting on his bed reading the outsiders when is brother sheepishly comes in.

"Hey Sammy. "

"Hey Dean" said Sam while taking his attention of his book.

"How are you?"

Sam looks up at Dean knowing soothing was off, "how am I, Dean are you okay?"

"Yeah,"

"No, you are not. So what's up?"

"Nothing, it's just….God damn it Sam I kissed Cas!" He exclaimed

Sam sits still, "and did you like it?"

"Yeah I did…"

"Do you like Cas in that way?"

"Yes I guess I do."

"Then what's the problem?"

"That's it Sam there is no problem, I mean I couldn't care less if Cas was guy because he makes me so fucking happy that I just, I don't know. He just makes me happy Sam, and that's all I really care about." Dean looks over to Sam and sees a big smile on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing Dean, it's just good to see you happy."

Dean smiles while shouting "shut up bitch!"

"Whatever jerk!"

although they happily smile at each other they still both know their relationship isn't entirely fixed, but they can feel it repairing step by step.