The sensation of the kiss still ached upon his lips even after two weeks. Dean and Cas never talked about the kiss. But you could feel the tension in the room whenever they were together. Dean felt like he should say something but he always stopped himself; it wasn't out of fear it was because he felt he didn't need to label what Cas and he had. To be honest Dean didn't even know what they had but it seemed to be fixing them both from the inside out. Their relationship was changing them to be better people than they were. Dean and Cas find that it was better to leave their relationship as just a friendship because they had both felt that they weren't ready to admit what they felt, But neither knew that. So they let it stay as regular visits and laughs at a hospital that smelled of sanitizer. Dean walks down the hall way and he can feel the tension building and yet he comes anyway maybe he's crazy but to hell with crazy caused dean needs Cas and Cas needs Dean and that's all that will ever matter to the both of them.
Dean left his brothers room to head to Cas's room. He paused; there was an unfamiliar voice at the door. He froze it was female, who could be visiting Cas? Dean thought to himself. He moves closer in to hear what they're talking about.
"Castiel, you know mom and dad loved you right."
"Yeah, and leaving me at a mental ward alone, not even visiting shows me they did care," Cas scoffed.
"Maybe they did leave you here but they have regretted their decision for just a long time."
"Well could they tell me this before?" He shouted
It's quite for a while, and all Dean can hear is his breathing. Then Cas spoke.
"I was here, I have always been here waiting for them to come and visit Anna but they never did. So don't tell me they cared, and even if they regretted there decision I would still be here for them to tell to my face. "
"I know."
Cas laughs, "and yet here you are defending them, really you're not that much different from them. It took you dad's death to come here. That's just perfect."
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah well, you know I'm sorry as well, I'm sorry I wasted my time caring about a family that never cared about me. Can you just leave? I don't want to go to Dad's funeral. I 'd rather be here alone then have to meet people who will say to me what shame, because it's not a shame, he wasn't a good father and I don't want to stand there and lie to people's faces. So I ask you again to please leave me alone."
Dean knocks on the door, the tension in the room was raising and he felt that Cas needed him this moment." Hello, Cas it's me, am I interrupting something, should I come back later."
Cas who was lying in the bed sits up, and greets Dean. "Oh no, it's fine my sisters here to visit me."
"Oh really that's great." Dean said awkwardly
Cas half's similes, "yeah it is."
"Hi, Anna right?"
"Yes, excuse me who are you; I know your name is Dean but how do you know my brother."
Dean smiles a wide smile. "Well it's a funny story really" Dean said while rubbing the back of his neck.
"Alright, how weird is it."She said with a grin.
"I met your brother here in the hospital. And you won't believe me but Cas was just running around in a trench coat trying to escape just so he could get a burger. "
She looks at Dean quizzically, "and you just decided to be friends with him."
"Yeah well I felt bad for him, he just wanted a burger. He was fantastic, and I just started hanging with him after that."
She sighs, "Are you for real; you just became friends with a mental patient. Because I pretty sure no sane person would do that. I mean I are you alright because my brother is crazy, he really is, he's hurt people and your putting yourself in harm's way, because I don't know any person who would be friends with person like my brother. So you are either making fun of him or you're just as crazy as him."
"Shut up Anna! God you're so infuriating, I didn't even know why you came here, if you just going guilt trip me, because frankly I have nothing to feel guilty for."
Dean walks over to Cas. "Hey it's alright, she's protecting you, and I mean it is kind of odd that I would friends with you."
Cas looks at Dean "What? "
"No that's not what I meant, Cas please I'm sorry"
Cas looks at Dean with hurt in his eyes
"Can you both please just leave? "
Anna walks over to Cas gives him a hug, "sure."
Reluctantly Dean follows Anna towards the door, and while outside they both take deep breaths.
"So, why where you at the hospital, when you met Castiel"
"I was visiting my bother."
"Oh, can I ask you something personal."
"Yeah, sure I guess."
"Why did you become friends with my brother?"
"I don't know he seemed like he needed someone, I needed someone."
She half smiles, "and pulls out a cigarette. Do you want to outside with me?"
"Sure I need I break from being in here." He looks at her with surprise.
She looks at Dean and sees the expression on his face.
"What?" She shrugs
"Nothing I just thought you were the good Christian girl type."
She laughs while opening the door to the smoking zone.
"Funny, I never thought somebody would ever say that to me."
"Why?"
"Because growing up in house hold like mine, with bible thumpers, I would think would lead people to believe that the good preacher's daughter was nothing of the sort." She punches him in the shoulder; "you know the whole stereo type where the preacher's daughter is a whore." She then lights her cigarette
"Well were you?"
"No, I just took up smoking because I couldn't stand my dad's hate preaching."
"Yet you were still here trying to get Cas to go to the his dad's funeral."
"The way I figure it is, if I don't ask him, he will never get closure."
"Is his mother still alive?"
"No."
"And you never came to tell him."
"I sent him a letter, my dad didn't want his crazy son to be there, of course I didn't tell Cas that. She shacks off."
Dean stands there quietly thinking.
"You know I don't know why I'm telling you all this, it just seems like you such good friends with Castiel."She inhales the somke from her cigarette; she then exhales it out. "Or I could just like you." She winks at him.
Dean half's smiles," thank you."
"Look how cocky you are, you must get that a lot." She said in astonishment
"Not really, but it's nice to know women think that."
She flings her cigarette to the ground and stomps it out. She then pulls Dean towards her and kisses him. Dean mortified at she's doing pulls back with shocked eyes.
"Umm…Well thank you…That's very nice of you but…."
She smiles at him. "Do you have a girlfriend? All the good guys do."
"Not really, I just…no actually "
She smiles knowing all too well what Dean is trying to say.
"You like my brother, don't you."
"Yes I do."
"Good, he needs somebody who cares too much. It would be contrast to how much his family cared."
"Thank you but I would say that I mean you obviously cared."
"Yeah well, he wouldn't know." She looks over to Dean." I like you your smart, and that's good for Cas being so naive and all."
"Thanks, hey by the way, why did you kiss me. If you knew I liked your brother."
"I wanted to know what it was like to kiss before my brother does. I'm selfish like that." she said jokingly. She then starts walking back to her car.
"Well, you're too late!" He shouted
"Good!" She shouted back.
Dean walks back to Cas's door and lightly knocks.
"Yes!" Cas shouted back.
"It's me, I just wanted to I'm sorry."
Cas looks at Dean. "its fine I know what you meant."
"She was really just worried about you."
"Yeah, but I don't why it took her for so long to come and talk to me."
"Maybe, it was hard for to get away from your dad."
"If that's the case I dint know why she just didn't tell me."
"I don't know Cas that's something you need to sort with her."
"You're probably right."
"So are you going to your dad's funeral?"
"I really don't want to."
"Maybe it would be good for you; you never really had a good relationship with your dad."
"See that's why I don't want to go, it's not like I did anything to ruin our relationship, it was mainly his problem but something is telling me that I should have done more you know."
"Yeah, I understand all too well. When my dad died I didn't know if I should have gone to funeral but it was bobby, my dad's best friend that helped me find the strength to forgive him. I'm not saying you have to forgive your dad I'm just saying that if you want to be a better person than your dad ever was then maybe you should be the one to forgive first, not that you your dad has to forgive you for anything, I just think it will give you some closer. It did for me."
"Cas smiles, you know you're really wise for someone your age."
"I wasn't always like that you know. I use to be stubborn as a mule but after Sammy's incident, I realized I can't stay mad forever, because the people you love may be gone forever. It still took me a while to grow up after my dad's funeral, but seeing my brother lying on that floor gave me wake up call, that my dad couldn't give me."
Cas plops down on his bed with his hand rubbing his eyes. "Ugh, maybe I will go, just to do the right then puts his hands down and looks up at dean, will you go with me?"
"Sure if that will make you feel better."
"Thanks Dean."
Dean sits down in one of the green arm chairs when an idea comes to him. "Hey Cas I know how you can get rid of some of your stress." He said with excitement.
"What?"
He smiles a wild grin. "You Sammy and I can go on a picnic. "
This is the perfect day to sneak Cas out of the ward to have a picnic at Deans favorite park. The sun was shining but early this week it has been drowned out by the extreme cold but today was seventy five degrees the perfect weather Dean thought for a picnic. He grabbed everything a blanket and a tin lunch box to keep the food in. it wasn't much just three ham sandwiches but Dean figured Cas hasn't been outside and away from the mental ward in a long time so it should suffice for him. Cas, Sam and Dean were going to sneak out and enjoy the spring air and Dean couldn't help but laugh, because god it has been such a turn of events that he doesn't know what else to do but laugh. Who thought that he would be on good terms with his brother again, that he would find a friend in all this, because god he sure didn't. Dean finally reaches the hospital and takes the elevator four floors up. When he gets to the nurses' station the nurse looks the other way while he sneaks in and out of the ward with Sam and Cas.
"So Dean, where are you taking us?" Asked Sam
"Well, I was thinking about going to my favorite park in the city Eleanor Roosevelt Park."
Sam who is the seat next to Dean looks over at him. "Really a picnic?"
"Yeah, what's wrong with picnics?"
"What's wrong with picnics? Umm…Everything that's the type of thing you do with a partner."
"No families go on picnics all the time!" Dean argues. Dean then looks in the review mirror. "What do you think Cas, is going to the park romantic or family friendly?"
"Well, having a picnic does indicate romantic feelings but if you had kids it would look like a family outing."
Dean huffs. "you guys are nuts, everybody has picnics in a park and it never looks like a romantic date."
"Sure whatever you say Dean." Chuckled Sam
"Bitch."
"Jerk."
"I don't understand what are you two doing, I thought you liked each other now?" Said Cas from the back seat.
Dean laughs. "Every things fine Cas, I'm just picking on my little brother. Dean then starts messing up Sam's hair."
"Stop it!"
"No."
"Fine."
Dean pulls into the parking lot and stops the car. "So here we are guys!" He said with excitement.
"Dean, you shouldn't be this excited."
To hell I shouldn't be, I have got my brother and my best friend this is the best day of my life.
Castiel smiles in the backseat. Being someone's bets friend is nice, and knew to Cas.
"Come on Cas!" Dean Yelled from outside. "The sun isn't going to stay forever!"
They walk the path on the park to a somewhat frosted area with plenty of pine and oak trees to protect them from the sun. Cas finds the perfect spot under a breach tree to put the blanket. When there settled Dean hands Cas a soda. Dean finds the pale and hands them their sandwiches.
"You know Dean this wasn't a bad idea after all." Sam said while lounging on the blanket, he finished his sandwich just a few minutes ago while Cas was still eating his.
Dean laughs a little. "I knew you would like it."
"Oh, well aren't you intuitive." Sam said sarcastically.
Cas laughs. He never felt such a warm feeling of belonging before, and to tell you the truth he hopes this day will never end.
"Hey Cas what do you think?" Asked Dean
"I'm very content Dean; I'm so very glad you took me along." He said with a smile
Dean too lies down while Castiel talks about his favorite species of bird, and how they so cleverly make homes in bushes instead of trees, but just then a thought crosses Deans mind and Dean unknowingly interrupts Cas's ramblings.
"Cas, why were you smiling when I called you my friend?"
Cas sits there quite for a moment and then responds to Dean question. "Well isn't obvious Dean I've never had a best friend before. So when you called me your best friend I couldn't help but smile."
Sam laughs. "Man you guys are like watching a soap opera."
Dean looks over to Sam and throws a stick at him. "Shut up, bitch!"
"Whatever jerk." Sam then gets up and picks up all the trash. I'm going to throw this trash away.
While Sam away Cas moves closer to Dean and lies down as well.
"Hey, Cas have you ever looked at the clouds when you were younger?"
"Yeah I did all the time."
"Did it ever want to make you wish that you could fly?"
"Yeah…when I was younger my sister and I would try to imagine what it would be like to fly with the birds."
"I use to look at the sky when ever my dad got wasted." Dean gulps. "He use to be a mean drunk."
"I'm sorry."
Dean huffs. "Don't be, it's not like you could have done something."
Cas is quite so was Dean for a long time neither of them said anything until Cas finally broke the silence.
"Dean."
"Yes Cas?"
"My dad's funeral is tomorrow. I just don't know if I can do it."
"Cas, it will be fine, I will be there with every step of the way."
"I really haven't forgiven him yet."
"In time you will forgive."
"Yeah, but I don't know what to do, I mean cant face those people and tell them my dad was a great guy because he wasn't. He was well known in town, he was their preacher for heaven's sake. Their image of him would be ruined."
"That's not your problem Cas that was your dads, and frankly you don't have to say anything. If they tell you he was a great man. Then don't listen to them. They never really knew him like you did."
"God I hate feeling like a big ball of stress, I just want it to be over with."
"It will all be over with soon; as soon as you find closure you'll feel better. Besides it will give you time to bond with your sister."
"This is nice you know."
"What's nice."
"This, this whole day, it was good for me." Said Cas while smiling at Dean.
"Good."
Dean looks at his side their hands were touching, Dean turns away from Cas while blushing, but neither moved their hands for the rest of the day looking at the clouds.
