It's quite in the car as Dean Drives away from the mental ward; he can feel the tension cramped inside such a small car. He switch's through stations on the radio but doesn't find anything good he then puts in one of his cassettes. He looks over to Cas who is ridged and still. "Hey Cas look everything will be alright, you'll say goodbye to your father and then spend time with your sister, it will all be honky dory."

Cas smiles. "When did you start saying honky dory?"

"I don't know man; I was just trying to ease the tension."

"Yeah well, don't ever say it again."

"Why?"

"Because who says honky dory now like really, it's like saying cool beans."

"And what's wrong with cool beans? "

Cas shakes his head in frustration. "nothing is wrong with cool beans."

Dean laughs, "I really don't know what I do without you."

"Probably die of public embarrassment because you still say honky dory"

Dean shakes his head in disbelief you know I'm getting tired of you harassing me about my choice of trendy phrases. He looks over to Cas again and sees a smile spread across his face. His face had more color now that he had left the ward and his eyes were bright from laughter, Dean couldn't look away, but he does and he wishes he didn't have to. "You didn't shave your peach fuzz." He said quietly.

"They don't give me razors Dean, they groom me."

Dean breath hitches for moment he forgot how could he forget, and why would he bring up Cas's peach fuzz, Jesus he thinks to himself what the hell is wrong with me.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be you didn't do anything wrong."

"You didn't either you know."

"What are you talking about?"

"I just want to let you know that what you did in the past, it doesn't matter anymore your different now your better now."

"I'm not exactly better; I'm still locked up in a mental ward."

"That's not what I mean, I god I can never say the right thing. Listen Cas you don't have to feel guilty."

"Well that's harder than you think."

"Dam it Cas! Come on you got to stop wallowing in yourself pity."

Cas huffs. "you know you have a enough self pity for both of us Dean."

"And don't I know it, but I'm getting over it."

"Can we please not talk about this right now Dean, I really don't want to feel worse than I already do."

"Fine by me."

They make it to the funeral home where the family meets up to ride together in the limousine to a small white church just outside of town. Dean waits by his impala for further instructions; he notices how Cas shakes everybody's hands and takes their condolences with an emptiness to it.

"Hey you." Says a familiar female voice behind Dean, he knows that velvety voice that is so much different to Castiel's raspy one.

"Hello Anna I wish we were met under better circumstances but it's good to see you again."

"Cut the crap, I know you're here as friend and your trying to look good in front of all his family but really just cut the crap. My dad doesn't really deserve this kind of funeral but you know what helps with all these fake asshats is some good bourbon, and I have a ton in the limo which is just going to fit my brother and I so if you want to hop along, come on in."

"You know I was trying to be respectful, but bourbon sounds good. How long of a drive is it to the chapel?"

"Only 20 minutes but I can get drunk in that amount time and that is what is going to get me through this day."

"You're preaching to the choir sister."

"Anna laughs at Dean, do you just make a pun?"

"Maybe." Dean then notices Cas walk over with a frown on his face.

"Hello, Anna." Castiel says behind her.

"Hey Castiel, you done shaking everybody's hand and playing along with their delusion?"

"Look I don't like this either but can you at least act like dad's death is affecting you."

"Yeah, I tried that and I found that I liked bourbon more."

"Fine what ever gets you through this hell."

"Hey look, just so you know I invited Dean to join us in the limo I figured you would want in there."

"It's fine Anna, Dean can come along." He says coldly while walking off to the limo. Dean and Anna follow behind.

"What was that about?" She asks while nodding towards Cas.

"Nothing we had a fight in the car."

"Was it a big fight?"

"No it was small really; we'll get over it we always do."

"Mmmm, look at you being all romantic and shit."

"To be honest I'm really not."

"Come on! you guys fight like a married couple, tell me that you two are not a thing."

"I wish."

She nudges her shoulder into him. "You are romantic, so shut up."

Dean opens the door for her and they both get in. He looks around an old, green and gaudy interior and sits next to Anna.

"So who wants a swig of bourbon?"

"I do." Anna then hands the bottle to Dean who then takes a huge gulp. "That's good bourbon."

"It should be it was bottled in 1986."

"Mmh, I've never had the good stuff, always the cheap."

"Yeah I prefer the good over the cheap it has more of humph to it."

"Yeah defiantly, but of course I never drank bourbon for the fun I always drank to get drunk. So it was a waste to spend a lot on something you weren't enjoying."

Cas looks over at Dean and notices a coldness in eyes as he talks about his drunken days before he met him. He shifts. He listens to the car rumble and closes his eyes. Oh god please help me to get this eulogy right.

"Hey Cas are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine Anna."

"Look if it's the eulogy I can read it for you if you want."

"No that's okay."

"You'll do fine Cas."

"You say that now but as soon as I take the podium I know I'm going to choke."

Dean looks at Cas with love not fully understanding what it must be like to have speak in front of people who love and adore your father but have no idea how he really behaved outside of the church. I guess you could say he preached to a congregation but never to himself. "Your braver then you think."

"Thanks Dean but I think I might need more than just strong encouragements to keep me from failing."

They both smile at each and their faces wrinkle that indicates age from a youth that probably wasn't at all too pleasant to them, they stare until the limo finally stops at a hillside church, the very one Castiel's father preached at. Dean looks at bell tower where one must not see much of the landscape but one could find a vast mountain colored with greens and yellows alike. Though Dean hates to admit he finds the eastern part of the United States much more beautiful than the flat lands of Kansas.

"I love this time of the year. "

Dean smiles and notices wonderful light that Cas gets when he finds himself dumfounded with wonder. Dean grabs hold Cas's should and pats him on the pack. "Yeah, yeah, yeah… now come on buddy let's get you to the church on time."

"Well here I go then."

Dean stops Cas from entering the building. "Hey look I'm here for you if just need to talk okay."

"Okay."

After five speeches of how Cas's father was the beckon of the church Cas began to regret his decision to speak his father's eulogy. With knees shaking and breath hitching, Cas finally made it to podium. He took out his speech from his shirt pocket with some difficulty due his nervousness. He began with his name but it was just horrible mess of the English langue he deiced to say it again with much better results.

"Hello everyone, I'm very glad to see many familiar faces here, though I wish it were better circumstances that our reuniting occurred on. I would like to thank you all my father would be very happy to know that you loved him as much as he loved you. When I was asked to give the eulogy by my sister, I thought how could I possibly display my father in light you knew him in. but I simply told myself I couldn't, and I think that's the hardest for anyone to know that their hero wasn't perfect. The fact of the matter no one is perfect we all have demons and we all have our vices. My dad had plenty of demons he kept hidden away. I was one of them. It's strange how at a young age you idolize your parents but then as you grow older you tell yourself you will never be like them. I told myself that a lot while I was away. I told myself that I will never forgive him for sending me away, but here I am at his funeral and the question puzzled me on the way here. I realized my father wasn't bad or evil he was human, and being human comes with all this mess in our life that either takes our humanity or exposes it full throttle. Unfortunately for my father he was faced with a decision to put me in place that could possibly help me or have me stay at home where he couldn't care for me properly. I always understood his decision to send me away but I never understood way he never came to visit, until now. You see my father was never one to show emotion and I knew he had trouble with expressing himself. I always that my dad's humanity was gone in reality I guess he had too much or in other words he felt too much. I think my father was too ashamed to see me in a mental that he sent to me to. He couldn't see me because of guilt; the sad thing is he should have been there for me instead of leaving me alone. I really don't know what my father's problem was but I know that I love him still even if he left even if he wasn't perfect I love him. I will never be able to tell him that and he will never tell be able to tell why he left. I believe this will be my biggest regret in life. I had a whole eulogy prepared but I knew from the moment I set foot on this church I that I will still be lacking in closer if I didn't express who my father really was. He was a great man, but he too also had faults. That's what it means to be human, we virtually fuck everything up and then learn, my father never got the chance to fix what he did but I'm taking mine now. I know a eulogy is suppose to talk about how wonderful somebody is and our good memories of them but I figured good and bad is in a person and every aspect of person should be remembered and talked about, because if we just hideaway the ugly we lose the full image of person. Thank you, for listening I'm rather sorry for being myself for ruining something that should have been done with class."

Cas stepped off away from the podium with a hint of tears in his eyes, he left with some kind of closer. He looks around to a quiet and astounded audience who will no doubt be talking about his crazy ass rambling for a long time in the town. He looks over to his sister sitting still with a blank expression on her face. Then to Dean who has this look of pity in his eyes, no not pity but understanding. Cas sits next to Dean as everyone one gets up to accept the blood and body of Christ. Cas of course doesn't get up, he fails to see the importance of such a ritual, he once at faith but he lost it somewhere between being alone in a mental ward and meeting Dean Winchester who took the last bit of his faith he had left and turned into something much more beautiful than he was expecting. Silly really having so much faith in one man, but to hell with that Cas thinks to himself what is life without a little faith in something if not love.

The casket is then being carried out to the cemetery just outside of the church. Cas gets up and walks behind it with Dean by his side who very shyly takes a hold of Cas's hand and while their hands are entangled Cas's last thought still rings in his head if not love.