OMG, this chapter took me forever to write! So sorry! I was having trouble with it, but I hope it was worth the wait! Please keep those reviews going! Almost done with this story so I'd love to hear from you guys! It's been so fun!
~Mags
Chapter 23
Emma woke up the next morning a few hours before sunrise and decided to do something she hadn't done in a long time. She decided to go for a run. It would be a good way to clear her head and figure out some things out…especially after her conversation she had with Neal last night.
She quietly got dressed in a pair of tight fitting leggings that cut off just mid-calf and then threw on a purple tank over her sports bra before slipping on a matching black jacket to fight off the morning chill.
She slipped on her running shoes before quietly sneaking down the stairs, tip-toed past her sleeping parents, snagged her iPod that was lying on the table by the door, and slipped silently out the door.
The town was quiet and the sun was just beginning to make its appearance in the east, as she began her jog down the deserted streets of Storybrooke. She would make her way to the woods and see where it went from there. She never really had routes planned out as she ran…she just picked a direction and ran with it. No pun intended.
So much had happened since she stepped off the Jolly Roger…a moment that seemed like days ago when it had only been a few hours. When her and Henry had made their way into town they had run into Mulan, who had been making her way back to the docks…back to Neal. She almost didn't recognize her in modern day clothes and her hair loose, but the sword at her side finally gave her away.
"Mulan."
"Emma."
They stood there a moment, both smiling awkwardly as they didn't know what to do, before finally laughing and exchanging a quick hug. "It's good to see you safe."
"You, too," Emma said as she pulled away. "You look so different."
She laughed as she looked down at herself. "Well…it certainly is a change from my armor."
"No, it's not just that…you don't look as…serious as you use to." She smiled a little as she cocked her head to the side and studied her. "I'm guessing Neal is the reason for that."
"Oh…well." Flustered, she began to fiddle with her hair. "I suppose."
"He has that affect on people," Emma assured her as she placed a hand on Henry's shoulder.
Mulan cleared her throat and then smiled down at the boy she'd heard so much about. "You must be, Henry…it's so nice to finally meet you."
"My dad said you helped him get better…and then helped him get back home."
"Yes…I suppose I did, but…Oh!" She stumbled back when Henry suddenly came at her, wrapping his arms around her waist in a bear hug.
When she looked up at Emma with wide, startled eyes, she simply shrugged. "The kid's a hugger…you get use to it."
Mulan looked down as Henry looked up at her with a smile. "Thank you!"
Her face softened as she ran a hand lightly over his hair. "You're welcome, Henry."
"We were just going to get something to eat at Granny's," Emma said. "Neal will join us later, he…he wanted some time with Killian."
"Who? Oh…Hook." Her eyes shifted over to the Jolly Roger. "I suppose it's long overdue…he was a little nervous about seeing him again."
"I'm sure he's not the only one…c'mon, I'll buy you lunch…it's the least I can do."
Neal had finally joined them just as the food had arrived and although her back was to the door she had known it was Neal. Mulan, who sat on the other side of the booth, had been constantly checking the door every time it opened. Her eyes had lit up when the sound of the door jangled and a smile had formed on her face. Emma hadn't seen Mulan smile once when she was in the Enchanted Forest so it had been a strange sight to see.
"Looks like I made it just in time," Neal said as he slid into the booth next to Mulan and snagged one of her fries.
She glared at him as she pushed her plate away from him. "Watch it."
Neal grinned over at Emma and Henry. "She's very protective of her fries."
"So I see," Emma said before dipping one of her own in ranch and biting into it.
"You better get your own," Mulan warned. "I'm not sharing."
"I placed an order at the counter with Ruby."
"How did it go?"
He looked over at Emma. "Fine."
Mulan grabbed his chin and made him look her way as she studied his face. "Doesn't look like you got into any fist fights so I'm guessing it was civil?"
"It was fine," he assured her. "We both came to an understanding."
"What does that mean?" Emma asked.
"Don't worry about it…hey, Henry…good to be home?"
"Mmm-hmm." It was all he could manage since his mouth was filled with food.
"How long have you two been in Storybrooke?" Emma asked as she picked up her burger.
"For a few days…Tiny has been working on a new crop of magic beans…we were going to use one to go to Neverland as soon as they were ready...thanks, Ruby." He smiled up at her as she set his plate of enchiladas in front of him. "Looks great."
"I bet you're happy to see these two."
"Ecstatic."
She smiled. "Let me know if you guys need anything else."
"So, I have to ask," he said once she left. "Do we know what happened to Greg and Tamara?"
Emma shared a look with Henry, who then gave her a nod to go ahead and tell him. "Pan had them killed…they were just using them to get to Henry…I'm so sorry."
He paused for a moment and then shrugged it off. "Can't say that I am."
"Neal…"
"The bitch shot me." He winced and looked over at Henry. "Sorry."
"I've heard worse, Dad."
"I know that she betrayed you, but you loved her and…"
"Loved being the keyword…it doesn't matter…moving on."
Emma looked over at Mulan and could tell she was just as worried about his casual response as she was. Neal didn't seem to notice as he kept his eyes trained on Henry. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"
"No…not really….I'm just glad it's over."
Emma frowned at the way his eyes began to droop. "You're exhausted, kid…why don't we head back to the apartment so you can get some sleep…we'll take your sandwich to go."
"Actually…do you mind if Mulan walks him home?" Neal asked. "I'd like to talk to you."
"Oh. Well."
She looked over at Mulan who smiled softly and nodded. "I don't mind…we'll take both of our foods to go."
Neal slid out to let her through. "I really appreciate it…just take your plates to the counter and they'll box it up."
"My parents might be there," Emma told her. "You can just drop him off, but if they aren't would you mind staying until I get back?"
"Of course."
"I'll catch up with you later," Neal told her as he sat back down in the booth.
XXXX
As Emma kept a steady pace through the woods she thought about what had been said between the two of them and it both angered and frustrated her. She had known what he wanted to talk about, she wasn't an idiot and the last time they saw each other she thought she was going to lose them forever.
She told him she loved him and needed him and she of course meant it, but she thought she was losing him and her emotions were all over the place. She didn't want to lose him…didn't want Henry to lose his father. And most importantly…she didn't want Neal to die without knowing that she still cared…that she would always care for him…and love him.
But that didn't mean she was in love with him…he had been engaged to another woman just moments before…and she was quite sure that he would have still loved her if Tamara turned out to be genuine. That wasn't something she could easily ignore and she certainly wasn't going to let Neal ignore it either.
"I'm so sorry Emma," he said after a long moment of awkward silence. "For everything…for not coming back for you…for taking the easy way out and…for not believing you about Tamara." He pushed his plate aside and reached across the table for her hand. "I hope we can let go of the past and finally have our happy ending."
"Neal," she said shaking her head slowly. "I…I am so unbelievably glad that you survived…that you're here with me…I love that Henry didn't lose a father after all…that he has you back in his life…"
"I sense a 'but' coming," he said uneasily.
She gave him a quick, sympathetic smile. "But…it's not that easy."
"Of course it is…Emma, I love you."
"You were engaged to another woman, Neal," she said as she leaned forward and slipped her hand away from his. "You chose to move on…to move on with someone else."
"I made a mistake…I know that now."
She cocked her head to the side. "You know that now? I mean are you even listening to yourself, Neal? And you didn't make a mistake…you met someone…fell in love and moved on. I don't blame you for that…I did the same thing when I realized you weren't coming back. I moved on…I didn't forget about you, but I moved on…I got my crap together and started a new life…as did you."
"That may be, but she certainly wasn't the woman I thought she was."
"But you still loved her nonetheless…you loved her up until the moment she revealed who she truly was. And now you're going to just shove that all aside and say oh, never mind…It's me you love? It's always been me? It doesn't work that way."
Neal didn't say anything…he simply leaned back in his seat and looked out the window.
"She broke your heart, Neal…and now you just recently found out she's dead…you need time to me heal…you need to talk about it."
"I just want forget about it, Emma…to move on with my life."
"I know."
"And you're wrong…I love you because I've always loved you…I never stopped thinking about you."
"That may be true, Neal…but you didn't love me enough to come back for me."
"Because I was afraid…I told you that…I was afraid you wouldn't forgive…"
"Oh, stop with the bullshit, Neal…you were afraid to come back because of your father…not me…you knew that if you came back for me you'd also have to see your father and that was reason enough for you to move on."
"Emma…"
"Just!" She flared up her hands to shut him up and then sighed as she leaned her head on her hands, burying her fingers in her hair. "I don't know if I can talk about this now."
"You said you loved me…that you needed me."
She slowly lifted her head as she cast her eyes up at him. "I know, Neal…I thought I was going to lose you…I thought I would never see you again."
"So you didn't mean it."
"Of course I meant it, you're my…Neal…you will always be important to me…no matter what, okay? You were my first love…I loved you so much…you gave me the love of my life, Neal…you gave me Henry…for that alone I will always love you…I will always need you."
He sighed as he looked at her sadly. "But…"
"But things are different…and I need time to figure things out…and you need time to get over Tamara and don't you dare argue with me on this, Neal, okay? If you don't want to talk to me about it…talk to someone else…to Mulan…she'll listen."
Neal looked agitated as he ran his fingers restlessly through his hair. "Okay fine," he finally said as he nodded at her. "Maybe you're right…maybe I need to get over Tamara…maybe I do need to talk to someone and I will…I'll talk to Mulan…but I want you to tell me if what you're feeling has anything to do with Hook. And don't lie to me or deny it because I…"
"Yes."
Taken back, he blinked. "What?"
"Yes…what I'm feeling has to do with Hook…I have feelings for him."
"Well." He lifted his brows as he took in a breath. "Well. That was direct."
"You told me not to lie."
"I know." He cocked his head to the side. "I'd like to think this only happened because you thought I was dead…but I'm guessing that's not the case."
She shook her head. "No. Hook and I…we've had this connection from the first moment we met…a connection that I definitely tried to ignore, but…well, Neverland isn't the easiest place to hide your feelings."
"No…it's not."
"I don't know what's going to happen next, Neal…I'm not saying I'm going to hop on the Jolly Roger and elope with him while we sail off into the sunset…but he is in my life now and I don't want that to change anytime soon."
When he didn't say anything, she decided that was enough talking for the time being, and made her way out of the booth. "You know," she began as she put on her coat. "You have the same connection with Mulan…whether you realize it or not."
Neal looked up at her. "She's my friend…just my friend."
"Hmm…well…all I know is that whenever I say her name…like I did just a second ago…your eyes light up…I know the look well since you use to give it to me." She then stepped over to him and planted a kiss on the top of his head. "Think about it."
XXX
She didn't know where that had come from, she thought as she was now running along the beach. The man was clueless when it came to those sorts of things and the more and more she thought about it…the more it made sense. As much as she loved Neal, she was truly beginning to believe that she wasn't in love with him anymore…she hadn't been in love with him for a long time. And she certainly didn't look at him the way Mulan had looked at him when he walked through the doors of Granny's.
It was time to let that part of her life go…to accept that although Neal would always be a part of her life…he was not the love of her life. Was Killian the love of her life? She wasn't sure…but she was sure that she wouldn't hide from him any more. She wouldn't fight her feelings for him…she wouldn't run away from them anymore.
But towards them, she thought when the Jolly Roger came to view. She didn't even realize that she was heading there the whole time. She shut off her mind when she began her run before the break of dawn but her heart had known where it wanted to go.
And with a smile on her face she picked up the pace.
