This is Annie's intro so please read and review. Not to confuse anyone, this chapter was written like a flashback that Annie is having when she's fourteen of when she was five. The next chapter is chapter 1.
Word Count: 2,881
Annie's Point of View
~Introduction~
"Mommy, why you cryin'?" I ask
"Nothing sweetie. It's nothing." her tear stained cheeks say the absolute opposite. Something is wrong I know it.
I don't know what to say. Mommy has been crying a lot lately and daddy has been using his outside voice a lot too. Sometimes daddy isn't even here. Sometimes he leaves with his car. Mommy always tells me nothing is wrong and I know she's lying to me. Why can't she just tell me? I would ask daddy but I'm afraid to. I'm afraid he's going to yell at me; so I usually don't try to talk to him. He never hurts me but he scares me. I think he hurts mommy though but she won't tell me.
"Mommy I love you."
"Baby you know I love you too. I love you so much." she says crying a little, pulling me to her side
"Does daddy love me too?" I ask looking up at her. Shakily she wipes a hand to her face. She wipes at her eyes before responding. I feel like crying too. Water slowly spills from my eyes. I never meant to make her cry.
"Of course he does. I know it may not seem like it but daddy loves you just as much as I do." Now I am happy, he does love me.
"Will you tell him I love him too?" I reply
"I will but why can't you tell him yourself?" she looks at me confusingly
"Because- I... I don't want him to- to yell at me..." I say tucking my head into the crook of her neck. My face feels warm with embarrassment. I can't look at mommy. And I don't have to, to know that she's crying again. I feel wet droplets on my hair. I feel her tears.
"Annie look at me. Sometimes people have bad days right? Well daddy has been having a lot of bad days. So its natural for him to yell. But daddy would never yell at you. Maybe if you tell him how much you love him, he won't have many more bad days." she tells me
I get out of bed to find daddy. Mommy lets me slip out of her warm arms carefully. She kisses my nose, holding my face in her hands, before I'm out of arm's reach. Then I slide down the bed the way she told me to so I don't hurt myself. Once I reach the door I look back at her. She gives me a small smile. In return I give her one as well. Next I close the door. Time to find him.
He's most likely to be in his office. Mommy never goes in there anymore because he told her not to, but he said I can still walk in anytime I want. Usually I don't go in there because he's drinking out of a dark bottle. Mommy says it's called 'bad drink'. When she told me I wanted to ask her more like why he drinks so much of it but she told me its something for her and daddy only to talk about. Hopefully he's not having a 'bad drink' because then I would have to leave without telling him I love him. I walk in the dark hallway, my hand dragging across the wallpaper. My cold bare feet are silent against the wood floor. His office is just around the corner. I control my breathing then wipe at my eyes just in case he asks why I've been crying. He doesn't like it when I cry. He says "Crying is for babies. And are you a baby? No you're not! So stop."
I turn the corner and knock on his door. The feel of the hard wooden door jolts me awake. He's not coming. I knock again but harder and longer this time. Nothing. I press my ear against the door. Still, I don't hear anything. No rustling of papers, creaky floorboards or footfalls. Would he be angry with me if I just walked in? Or should I come by later and go back to bed with mommy? No I need to tell him. I'm just going to walk in. I have to...Taking the doorknob in my hand I move a step forward. Creeeakk. Just the floorboards. I still don't see him, he must be in here somewhere. Oh I know! He's playing hide and seek.
"Daddy! Come out come out wherever you are!" I say smiling. I can't wait to find where he's hiding.
As quietly as I can I search the small room. He's not behind the TV or the couch. Not behind the curtains either but 'brr' is it cold in here. Why did he leave the window open? I walk up to his tall desk. Then I grab the chair and hoist myself up to the top so I can see all the papers on his desk but today I don't see any papers- except for one. Its small, wrinkly and written in black ink. It says some things on it but I don't really know what it says. I know some of the words but I better ask mommy. And I still have to find daddy. Maybe he these are some clues as to where he's hiding! With the small white paper in my hand I skip back to mommy. When I walk in she's looking out the window, dried tears across her cheeks. As I lie in my original spot next to her, she sits up. I hand her the paper with pleading eyes. She takes it confusingly. I watch as she reads it silently. Her eyes move left to read up and down through the paper. As she gets closer to the end tears sprout. And more and more and more. Maybe they aren't clues as to where he's hiding. But what could they be? What could make her cry so much?
"What does it say mommy?" I ask gently
"Annie you have to promise me you aren't going to read this. You have to promise." she says sternly
"You mean a pinkie promise?" she nods
"Okay." I say quietly
Mommy tells me to go to my room. I silently walk across the hall. She follows me inside. As I take a seat on my bed she kneels so we're face to face. I look into her eyes. Something is wrong about them. They aren't the beautiful blue I'm accustomed to. They don't remind me of the ocean. They hide something, something about daddy.
When I wake up the sun is shining like it always does. I peel back my thin blanket, hop to my small window. Something outside catches my eye. Where is daddy's car? It is not in the driveway like it always is. Maybe he's going out to get breakfast. Just then my stomach growls loudly. I hope he is, I'm starving. Instead of staying in my room I choose to find mommy. When I walk in her room she's staring at nothing. I sit in front of her and her gaze still stares at the wall as if I'm not even here. To get her attention I place my arms around her neck and hold onto her. I give her cheek a kiss like she does to me. She looks down at me.
"Good morning mommy." I tell her kindly
"Good morning sweetie." she says tiredly
"Can we have breakfast now? I'm really hungry."
"Of course, I'm hungry too." she replies slipping her hand through mine.
We walk into the kitchen together. As I open the refrigerator I look for something to eat. I see three eggs, we can have scrabbled eggs. Mommy takes the pan out and starts cooking while I take a seat at the table in front of the window. Daddy's car still isn't here. Where did he go? He wasn't here last night and he's not here now. Maybe he's doing that thing that mommy told me about where he drinks his 'bad drink' to settle down, calm himself. I hope not. Last time he did that he came home very angry and made a hole in the wall. Mommy tells me to set to the table for the two of us so I grab two forks and plates. Then I get both of us a cup of orange juice. She plops the eggs onto our plate. They taste very good, mommy has always been a good chef. As we eat our breakfast I want to ask her where daddy might be but I think that will make her cry so I choose not to. When we finish I help with the dishes. Then I change into my day clothes and play with my dollie. This is a special dollie because this is the only toy daddy's every given me; I never let anyone touch it but me. Then mommy calls me to the living room.
She's sitting on the couch calmly. It looks as though she's been thinking a long time. I take a seat in her lap with my dollie in mine. Carefully she runs her fingers through my hair, while I do the same to my dollie. I will never get tired of playing with her and I will keep her forever. Then mommy's voice beings softly,
"I'm afraid daddy isn't coming back."
"Is he playing hide n' seek?" I bet he is, he's good at that game
"... Yes he is... playing hide n' seek." she tells me
"Okay." I respond sadly, I never got to tell daddy I love him.
"Do you want to do mommy a favor?" she says brightly
"Of course!"
"I'm going to have you stay with Uncle Haymitch. Just for a little while though. Mommy needs some time to herself- to think." she recites
"Okay anything to make you feel better." I say shyly burying my head in her chest.
"Why don't you go to your room and pack as many things as you can. I'll be there in a minute." she says rubbing my back, I nod.
Climbing off the couch I think about the things I'm going to pack. I'll bring all my clothes, my dollie, my pillow grandma made me, and the picture mommy gave me on my fourth birthday last year. It'll all fit in my suitcase. Selfishly I hope I won't have to stay at Uncle Haymitch's a long time. It's not that I don't like him, its just that I'd rather be home with mommy. Uncle Haymitch is a nice man. Well at least he's gotten nicer since he quit drinking that bad drink that daddy always has. His house is ten minutes from here its small like this one but I like smaller houses better. Uncle doesn't get along well with my daddy, but he's kind to mommy. That's why I haven't seen him in a few years, because he always argues with daddy. The last time I saw him the two of us talked for hours. I sat in his lap and we just talked. He's not a daddy though, Aunt Effie died a long time ago. She died before I was born. Uncle loved her a lot, they wanted a family. I'm just happy I get to stay with him for a little because I haven't talked to him in forever.
Finally I get upstairs and find my pink suitcase. Once I fold all my clothes, get everything I need I tug my suitcase to the kitchen, where I find her at the table. She takes the pink case from my small arms while I get my shoes on. Then I climb down the steps of our front door. Before I get in the car I look back to give my house a wave goodbye. I'm going to miss you, I think, but don't worry I'm coming back I promise. I put my seatbelt on and before I know it mommy is almost there. I look up to the small yellow house. It has a small garden, steps to the front door just like my house and a shiny little plaque for Aunt Effie next to the door. Uncle must have been waiting for us because he opens the front door before we even get a chance to step out of the car. I watch him step out of his house with a large smile on his face.
"I haven't seen this cutie in such a long time!" he says squeezing me. I jump up the white steps, flinging myself into his arms. I keep my head and tiny arms around his neck. Closing my eyes I breath in his scent he smells like... the ocean. Daddy never smelt like the ocean. Regretfully he gently puts me down to give mommy a welcoming kiss on the cheek. She places my suitcase on the ground next to her feet. Before they have any time to yell at me I sprint in the house, suitcase in hand. His house is so clean. I trudge up the large steps to the upstairs bedrooms. Then I look into each of the rooms. Once I think I've found my room I set my small suitcase on the ground by the door. Running down the stairs I overhear mommy and Uncle arguing about something. Quietly I stop at the edge of the railing trying to stay unseen.
"...you know she can't live without a...
"You have to do thi-" mommy starts angrily
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!"
Just then Mommy sees me from the corner of her eye. She hastily whispers something to Uncle and they both turn to look at me. Uncle looks upset but once his eyes lay on me he returns back to his calm self. Mommy plasters a smile on her face. Keeping my eyes on both of them I walk down the last step. Once I am close enough to them they both bend down on their knees to talk to me.
"Okay, mommy's going to go now. Uncle Haymitch will take good care of you in the mean time I promise." she tells me holding my face in her soft hands
"I will I promise." he replies
"I'm going to miss you so much, but you get time to think so this is a good thing." I state. Trying my hardest not to cry I tighten my arms around her neck while she places her's at my waist. My heart feels strange, like its not there. Like part of it is leaving with mommy. It beats and beats and beats and I can't control it. She keeps kissing my hair, telling me how much she loves me, how she will always love me. And my heart keeps beating like crazy and my eyes swim while it takes everything inside of me to let go as her hands leave my waist. She stands up to tell Uncle a goodbye then stops once she reaches the front door. She turns back to wave at me, then blows a kiss in my direction. I watch from the window in the living room as she steps in her car. She looks back at me wiping a tear away from her face. Why is she crying? Isn't this what she wanted? Some time to herself...
Fast forward to Annie age 14- Little did I know that that would be the last time I ever saw her. Can you believe it? My own mother, the very last time. I don't want to see her anyways so why do I always hold this inside of myself? Why does some part of me still believe that she loves or even cares for me? Why do I cry myself to sleep over this? I'm done thinking she left me for my own good because she didn't. She left me because she is a terrible mother. She never loved me, she always wanted to get rid of me, she probably didn't even want to have me. I am a mistake, a memory she must push away at every day.
Not to confuse anyone, this chapter was written to be like a flashback Annie is having when she's fourteen of when she was five.
Please review, I would really appreciate it considering this is the beginning of my story. Next chapter is most likely in Finn's POV.
