A/N Dedicated to ACE329. I hope you enjoy it, despite the fact that I took the song way too literally.
Warnings: AU. Tendershippy.
Black dresses flood the cemetery/in this cliche tragedy ~ Black Dresses, Spill Canvas
It's that dream again.
The graveyard. He shouldn't recognize it, but he does. Standing on top of a grassy hill, he looks down at the tombstones. The wind blows the sounds of screams and sirens towards him, but he doesn't move.
Someone whispers in his ear –
"Big brother, I'm home!" shouts Amane, startling Ryou out of his sleep.
"Amane!" Ryou shoots up, knocking over a glass of water on his computer desk as he scrambles to his feet.
His (not so) little sister winks at him.
"You're drooling, Ryou."
"Amane!" Ryou repeats, wiping the drool from his face, "What are you doing here?"
"My flight came in a little early," she says, dropping her coat on the couch. Well, she assumes it's a couch, though it's hard to tell from all the junk lying on it.
Ryou hurries to clear a spot for her to sit down.
"You should have called me," Ryou scolds, "I would have picked you up!"
"I didn't feel like waiting and besides," she smiles, "I wanted to surprise you!"
Ryou sighs. His sister was so incredibly difficult.
But then, slowly, the warmth of her smile thaws him out and he realizes that's Amane is here in front of him. Not at college three hours away, but here, in his living room.
He laughs and pulls her into a hug.
"I've missed you so much," he murmurs into her ear.
Amane hugs him back.
"I've missed you too, big brother."
Amane pulls away, and takes another look around the dingy apartment.
"Geez, Ryou. When's the last time you cleaned?"
Her gaze falls to the pile of empty ramen cups.
"When's the last time you ate? You know, like real food?"
Ryou blushes, "I eat! I just happen to like ramen."
Amane snorts and turns her head to the computer desk, literally spilling over with loose paperwork, folders and scribbled notes on fast food napkins.
"You work too hard," Amane sighs, "and you don't eat enough."
Ryou opens his mouth to protest both assertions, but her smile shushes him.
"Come on. Let's go get you something to eat."
-0-
"Hi! Welcome to Palace World! My name's Yuugi and I'll be your server for this evening," says Yuugi, smiling so widely his eyes are closed.
"Hey, Yuugi-kun," Ryou replies.
"Oh hey Ryou!" Yuugi says, looking a bit embarrassed, "I didn't even recognize you for a second. It must be the grease…it's going to my head…"
Ryou smiles, "I want you to meet my sister, Amane."
Yuugi turns his head slightly, "Oh so you're Amane! Ryou's told me everything about you; you're like his favorite subject!"
Amane gives Ryou a bemused look.
"You two know each other?" she asks.
"Of course!" says Yuugi before Ryou can explain, "Ryou-kun and I have known each other since forever. We went to school together and on Sundays we work the graveyard shift here."
Amane frowns, "You didn't tell me you were working weekends again."
Ryou sighs. He doesn't want to fight with her right now, not so soon after her homecoming. Doesn't she understand that he works those three jobs so she can go to school and not have to worry about it? He'd give her the world if he could, but he can't, so the best he can do is work a few hours during the weekend…
Yuugi, ever the mind-reader, senses the awkwardness and changes the subject.
"So!" he says, "Do you know what you're ordering?"
Ryou nods and shoots Yuugi a grateful smile.
They order and Yuugi isn't even completely out of earshot when Amane says, "He's nice, I like him. You should hang out with him more."
I can't, I have to work, Ryou thinks but after the look Amane had given him before, he doesn't dare say it.
"We do hang out, all the time," Ryou assures.
Amane gives him her pouty stare, and Ryou is sure she knows he's lying. (Well, technically only half-way lying, they hang out all the time at work.)
A flash of white, out of the corner of his eye. Ryou blinks as he sees a man, strikingly similar – doppelganger similar – to himself, walking out of the restaurant. He meets Ryou's gaze (and Ryou can feel the blush coming on, despite himself) and turns away…
…Ryou's stomach lurches…
"Big brother? Ryou? Ryou! Hey, Ryou snap out of it!"
"Hmm? Amane, what is it?"
"You were like completely zoned out!" she says, almost pouting, "Is something wrong?"
"No, of course not," he replies quickly.
(It feels like he's lying.)
-0-
"I'm not taking your bed, Ryou," Amane says, and puts her hand on her hip. She's still so childish, in so many ways.
It's stupid too. The bed is already made; blue covers tucked in neatly and her suitcase unpacked on the hardwood floor.
Ryou runs his hand through his hair.
"You're only here for a week, Amane, it's not that big a deal. Besides, you're my guest. Let me be a good host, okay?" he says, and places his hand on her shoulder.
She pouts, "Every time I come here, I take your bed. Ever think maybe I'd like the couch if I tried it?"
"No," Ryou replies firmly, "Plus, I wouldn't be able to sleep if I knew you were sleeping on the couch."
Amane gives a big exaggerated sigh.
"Next time – no matter what you say – I'm sleeping on the couch," she grunts.
Ryou laughs and turns off the lights.
-0-
"Your sister's really nice, but she seems a little worried about you," Yuugi says as he sprays the cleaning solution on the table. Ryou smiles too, but the dark circles under his eyes sort of lessen the impact.
"Yeah, she is," Ryou admits, "If her old friends from high school hadn't wanted to go out, I don't think she would have let me work tonight."
He gives a small laugh at the end of it, to lighten up the grim reality of the words.
Yuugi understands in the way only Yuugi can and they go back to washing the tables. There is a nice silence for some time, before Yuugi looks up at Ryou with those curious purple eyes.
"Why did you two go to different schools anyway?"
Ryou looks away. (His stomach quivers.)
"Our parents wanted it that way."
-0-
"And, oh my god," Amane says between bursts of laughter, "the look on your face, Ryou!"
Ryou is laughing too, though not as loud.
"I can't believe you still remember that," he says, voice betraying a touch of sorrow.
"Of course," Amane giggles (though her voice, too, is hiding something), "I remember everything about our parents."
That kills all the laughter and leaves Ryou with only the echoes. They finish the walk home in silence, both realizing they've crossed some line that hadn't been there before.
Ryou loses himself so much in the memories of their parents that he doesn't even realize he's being watched.
-0-
Big Brother!
Sorry. Left in the middle of the night. You know how much I hate goodbyes.
~ Amane
There's a crudely drawn heart next to her name, as if that somehow makes up for it.
Ryou sighs and traces it with his fingers, anyway.
(Some things never change.)
-0-
"But Mrs. Saito – I swear I can pay everything – the late fees, everything! If you could just wait until Friday! Please…"
Ryou looks away. He's begging. He hates begging. More than his stupid minimum wage jobs, more than his idiotic bosses, more than the driver of that car…
Bile rises in his throat.
(Disgusting. He is disgusting.)
Mrs. Saito glares at them with those beady eyes of hers. She does it on purpose. Ryou always invites her into the apartment, to discuss things, but she must always do it outside of his door. In the hallways. Where everyone can hear.
"Please," he begs again, holding back his gag reflexes.
Mrs. Saito licks her lips, "I swear if your mother hadn't…ugh! Fine. You have until Monday, Ryou. That's it."
She slams the door of his apartment shut. The sound of finality.
Ryou sinks to the floor and wraps his knees around his chest.
"What am I going to do?"
-0-
"Yuugi-kun," Ryou asks slowly, still not sure if he should do this. Amane worries enough about him as is.
"Yes?" says Yuugi, as he puts the dishes up to dry.
"Do you know of any places hiring?"
Yuugi drops the plate he is holding on the floor.
"Mouto! You idiot!" shouts Kenji, the cook, along with some other colorful words.
"Are you…are you serious Ryou?" Yuugi stutters out.
Ryou looks down, "I need the money."
(Because apparently I'm not worth enough as is…)
Yuugi tilts his head to the side and looks like he's about to cry. Then, he turns away.
"No. Sorry."
-0-
It must be some of kind of joke.
A sick, cruel, unholy, devil's spawn of a joke.
The money (enough to pay his rent for the next two months!) is stacked neatly in his mailbox, tied together with a red string. On it is a note.
Meet me at the cemetery, tonight.
Drugs. It had to be drugs. Or gangs. Or the Yakuza.
He shouldn't take this money. He couldn't! A person who had that kind of money to give away but wanted to meet at the cemetery was not good news. Common sense told him as much.
(But…)
The money is so exact and in his mailbox. This person (or persons, for all he knew) must know a lot about him. If he didn't show up on his own terms, they would find him. And, who knew, maybe they would be friendly…maybe they would just want to help…
Ryou crumples the note in his hand.
He'd go. And if these people were something bad, he'd refuse the money.
Probably.
-0-
Of all the stupid things he's ever done, this is, without a doubt, the stupidest. Shouldn't he at least have brought a weapon or something? Or a phone? Or just have not gone at all? This is suicide, this is just plain dumb. He should have left a note, or called Yuugi and told him at the very least where he was going.
Anything other than doing what he is now. Walking half way across town to the cemetery.
Ryou, for the hundredth time, stops. He inhales, taking in the scenery. The buildings are nicer on this side of town, painted with brighter colors. The sunset might have something to do with that, though. (He chose to go at sunset because there was no way he was going to a cemetery in the dead of night. Ryou did have some survival skills, after all.)
It was all because of that stupid note. If it hadn't been for that note, he would have just accepted the money as some divine miracle. Or if that note had been worded differently, he could have just ignored it. Stayed home, like a normal person. Besides, he is used to getting gifts. In high school, he'd always open his locker to find a box of chocolates or handmade gift.
But that note.
It isn't a love letter or a threat. It is a command.
And Ryou is obedient.
-0-
It's the graveyard from his dreams. Or, more accurately, the graveyard from his dreams is the Domino City Cemetery. Which is odd, because he's always known where the cemetery is…maybe he'd just forgotten what it looked like?
Yeah. That seemed plausible, right? (Though it didn't do anything for the goosebumps on his body.)
"Hello?" he asks, pushing the gates open. Ryou cringes. That was a stupid thing to ask. These people knew he needed money, and they knew where his mailbox was, so they must have some way of keeping track of him.
They must know he's here.
Ryou takes another step into the graveyard. He has the urge to speak again, just to hear something other than the deathly quiet. But he bites he tongue down, refusing to feel like an idiot once again.
"Hello."
Ryou nearly screams as a hand grazes across his shoulder. He jumps back and sees the source.
A man with a long black trench coat, standing with his arms crossed. White hair, like Ryou's hair, and brown eyes too. Though a darker brown, almost reddish actually, like mahogany. He is smirking. The smirk itself is ambiguous, but the man's eyes are amused.
Ryou frowns a bit, automatically. He should be terrified.
(But he isn't…)
"Well?" the man purrs as he steps forward, "Don't I get a thank you, Ryou?"
He knows my name, Ryou thinks and shivers. Even though he'd assumed that whoever left that note knew his name (his mailbox had his name on after all), to hear it was…unsettling.
"For what?" Ryou says and again cringes at the sound of his own voice. It's scared and shaky (and everything Ryou doesn't want to be –)
"The money. I thought you'd be more grateful for your gift," the man says, a threatening tone underlining the words.
Ryou looks at the man again. He is just threatening, period.
"I wasn't aware it was a gift, actually," Ryou says, feeling braver for whatever reason, "I figured it was bribe or something."
"Oh?" the man asks, shifting his position, "Explain."
(That too is a command and now Ryou is certain that this man wrote the note.)
"I don't know…Maybe like those car companies that will give you a free watch if you buy a new truck. I thought the money was the watch. That's why I came here, to read the fine print," Ryou says.
The man snorts, "I suppose that's for the best. You wouldn't have come here otherwise."
Ryou doesn't like this man. He is too definite. No questions or requests, just…orders.
"Well, a graveyard is a really creepy place to meet if you have good intentions," Ryou points out, honestly wondering if the man knows that.
"I never said I had good intentions."
Ryou shudders and he is positive that the man saw it. There was a gleam in his eyes.
"So what are your intentions?" Ryou asks, feeling that inexplicable daringness again. He doesn't mean for it to happen, it just bubbles up inside of him. Bursts.
"I'm going to make you an offer," the man says, walking closer, "I've been watching you for some time, Ryou. You're desperate. I'm here to a give you a solution to your problems. You will become an associate of mine, taking part in the business I do."
Ryou recoils, "Business? You mean crime…don't you?"
His smirk widens, revealing sharp, almost canine, teeth.
"I mean crime."
"And if I refuse?" Ryou asks, the daring gone and replaced with cold fear, "If I say no?"
The man grabs hold of his wrist and pulls him close. Ryou gasps, but doesn't even struggle. His mind is in another place entirely.
"You won't."
The man's voice is strong and powerful.
(And Ryou is obedient.)
His heartbeat is pounding so fast it hurts. (He's tried. God knows he's tried being a good citizen, making the money the right way…right…doing the right thing…)
"Well?" the man says.
"I – I," Ryou stutters out.
(His heart is beating too fast and his head is about to explode and oh, God, his father would never approve and what would Mother say and –)
"Okay. Okay."
(His voice sounds disgustingly weak again…)
The man drops his wrist, rather rudely.
"We'll be in touch," he says and turns around.
"Wait!" Ryou shouts (that crazy courage back again), "What's your name?"
The man turns his head around, his expression unreadable. Finally, he speaks.
"Bakura."
-0-
"So I was talking to Jounouchi yesterday – you remember Jounouchi, right?" Yuugi asks.
"Yes," Ryou says as he scrubs the spaghetti sauce off the table, "I remember Jou."
"Well, he said that Chester's was hiring and they offer really flexible hours –"
Ryou cuts him off, "It's okay, Yuugi-kun. I'm not looking for work anymore. Everything worked itself out."
Yuugi blinks and then charges at him, embracing him in a tight hug.
"Oh thank goodness!"
-0-
Meet me at Apartment 203, on Monday.
Ryou's not sure what's creepiest about the newest note. That his heart skipped a beat while reading it? That it still has that underlining commanding feel? Or that it was waiting for him on his kitchen counter?
He stares at it for another second.
Yeah, definitely the latter.
-0-
I could change the lock, Ryou thinks, but he'd just pick that one too. And it would probably just make him mad, instead of stopping him.
Ryou still hasn't actually seen Bakura since their meeting a week ago; he just has this instinctual feeling that getting Bakura mad was something he did not want to do.
The phone rings, breaking him out of his thoughts.
"Hello?" Ryou says.
"Big brother! Guess what?" Amane screeches from the other end of the phone.
"What?" Ryou asks, suddenly a lot more at ease.
"I did it! I got an A on all of my midterms! All of them, Ryou! Can you believe it?!"
Ryou smiles, "I knew you would."
"I'm sorry I called so late but I just had to tell you!" says Amane.
"I don't mind," Ryou says, but then adds, "but I can't talk long."
"Aw! Well, when can you talk? You know I can't come down to visit until spring break and I miss you…" she gripes.
"Call on…" (The note flashes through Ryou's mind), "Tuesday night."
"Kay! Talk to you then, Ryou!"
The other line clicks off. The happiness that Amane brings him wears off and Ryou is back to pondering about how to keep Bakura out of his apartment. Or, at the very least, to know when he's in it.
-0-
"That's…it?" Ryou asks, absolutely lost for words.
Bakura looks bored.
"That's it," he says, drumming his hands on Apartment 203's dining room table.
Ryou looks down at the small, perfectly plain envelope in his hands. So all he has to do is mail this little thing on Wednesday? That's it?
"Really?" Ryou asks again. Not what he was expecting from a life of crime.
"Really," says Bakura, and this time Ryou can see the anger building in his eyes.
"Sorry," Ryou mutters, "It's just not what I was…expecting…"
Bakura snorts, "I know you, Ryou. I know what you will and won't do."
"Well, I don't know you," snaps Ryou.
"Obviously."
Ryou narrows his eyes, suddenly infused with a small dose of rage.
"And I don't appreciate you breaking into my apartment and being really cryptic about this whole mess!"
Bakura laughs. It sends shivers down Ryou's spine.
"You don't appreciate it?" he mocks, "Well I'm sorry, Ryou. I don't care much what you think."
His eyes darken as he gets up from the table.
(Ryou's anxiety twists and turns in his stomach.)
Bakura stops, inches away from Ryou.
"I'll come to your house whenever it pleases me."
He walks away without another word.
(Ryou feels sullied.)
-0-
On Wednesday, the small envelope slips into the mailbox on the corner of the street without a fuss.
Ryou looks over his shoulder for the rest of the day.
-0-
Enjoy. I'll be seeing you on Friday.
Says the small note, on a small stack of money.
On his bathroom counter.
Ryou sighs. Now Bakura is doing it just to spite him.
-0-
"You seem happier," Yuugi notes the next day at work.
It shocks Ryou so badly that he almost drops his plate of food. Happier? After the things he was doing? (Did he even know what he was doing?) Maybe less stressed, he would have accepted less stressed. After all, his new job certainly provided him with more stability. (And, to his secret horror, it had no effect on his morality.) In all honestly, at the rate things were going, if he didn't have Amane he could probably quit this job and work at the book store full time.
Ryou grimaces. Didn't have Amane. He can't believe he just thought that.
He closes his eyes. The money is going to his head. He doesn't even know what it's for, or from, or who he was hurting, if he was hurting anyone…
(…and he didn't even want to know, not really…)
But, maybe it's true what they say. Ignorance is bliss.
"Yeah," Ryou whispers, "I guess I am."
-0-
"I want to know what we're doing," Ryou says, trying his best to sound firm and powerful.
"We?" says Bakura faintly amused.
"We," Ryou repeats.
Bakura twiddles his fingers on the loose string dangling from Ryou's couch. It was disturbing how at home he was in Ryou's own apartment.
"No, you don't," Bakura says, with a tinge of bitterness.
"Yes, I do," Ryou states.
Bakura looks up at him. Ryou adds that to the ever growing list of things Bakura does that creeps him out. Looking into him. Burning into him.
"You don't want to know at all," Bakura sneers, "If you did, you would have opened an envelope by now. It's been a month. You haven't even peeked, Ryou."
Ryou flinches and wants to protest more but…(he's right).
"But I –" Ryou falters, "I should, though. I should want to know."
"But you don't," Bakura says, smirking.
"I don't," Ryou admits and turns away.
"You worry too much," Bakura snaps, "Nothing bad has happened to you yet, so nothing will. There is no reason for you to know."
If Ryou didn't know any better, he would say that Bakura was trying to comfort him.
-0-
"So," Yuugi says, as they exit Palace World and step into the late winter cold, "I was thinking you could come hang out tonight. Jou and Honda are coming over too. It'll be like a little high school reunion!"
Ryou smiles because Yuugi's own smile is contagious.
"I'm sorry, Yuugi-kun, but I'm meeting someone tonight," he says, "I wish I could though. Maybe next time?"
That's not a lie. He really does want to go; he never really sees anyone between his two jobs. But Bakura would never let him cancel an appointment.
"Oh," says Yuugi, gaining a slightly serious face, "Do you have a date?"
"No!" shouts Ryou, "It's nothing like a date! At all!"
Yuugi eyes him askance.
"Are you okay, Ryou?"
"I'm fine," Ryou says, hating the blush that was coming to his face, "See you tomorrow!"
-0-
"I would consider it a date," Bakura says, as he hands Ryou the weekly envelope.
Ryou freezes, "What?"
Bakura chuckles darkly.
Ryou stares and stares for the longest time. What was worse? Bakura actually making a joke (it was a joke!) or him listening in to conversation without Ryou even realizing?
-0-
He looks so young, in his family portrait. That's the only thing he really sees anymore. Not the happiness in his eyes, or the big smile on Amane's face. He can't really remember his mother's voice that well now, either. Sometimes the lullabies she would sing will stir in him, but now those are mostly gone too. The stories his father used to tell are nothing but forgotten dreams.
(Was it real? Were they ever really real?)
Ryou can only truly remember this night. The night they went out for dinner and came back dead. Car crash.
The phone rings and Ryou picks it up without looking away from the picture frame on the wall.
"Hey," Amane says, sounding exhausted.
"Hey," Ryou repeats.
"I know you don't want to talk," she says, "You don't have to say anything. I just need to know you're there."
A pause.
"I'm here. I'll always be here."
-0-
The graveyard sits below him. It looks almost peaceful when it's bathed in sunlight. Sirens screech and there is a voice, soft at first, but growing louder, saying –
"Get up!"
Ryou's eyes shoot open.
"Get up, now!" the voice hisses and groggily Ryou realizes it's Bakura talking.
His body automatically obeys and Ryou pushes himself off the bed, still only halfway awake.
"What's going on?" Ryou asks as Bakura frantically (that fills Ryou with fear, Bakura – frantic?) tears around the apartment.
"Where is the letter?" Bakura snaps.
"What?" Ryou says, rubbing his eyes.
Bakura grabs him by the collar and shoves him into the wall.
"Where. Is. The. Letter?" he snarls, so close to Ryou that their noses almost touch.
Ryou glares and struggles against his grasp, "It's in my pillow. Ah! Let go, you're hurting me!"
Bakura drops him without a second thought and tears the letter out from the pillow.
"Follow me," Bakura orders and leaves Ryou's bedroom.
Ryou's eyes widen and he quickly follows.
"Where are you going? What's going on?" Ryou asks as he runs after Bakura, who is already of the apartment and heading down the stairs.
Bakura slams into the door of the apartment complex and Ryou jumps the last flight of stairs to catch up.
It's still night outside, Ryou realizes. What in God's name is going on?
Bakura opens the door to a very expensive, very familiar black car. Ryou gasps. It's was Mrs. Saito, his landlord's car. Oh my…he was stealing his landlord's car!
"Get in," Bakura says between clenched teeth.
Ryou hesitates.
"Get in!" Bakura shouts.
Ryou's hands grasp the door handle and he pulls. He isn't even in the car all the way before Bakura presses on the gas.
-0-
He's never liked car rides, not since he turned thirteen. Ryou never particular cared for silence, either, but indulged in it out of necessity and not pleasure. And Ryou only liked Bakura on occasions; occasions that did not involved being ripped from his bed at two o'clock in the morning, if the car's clock was anything to go by.
Add all of that and the answer manifested itself in the worst twenty minute car ride of Ryou's life.
Bakura didn't say a word. Ryou quit asking after a while.
Finally the car came to a halt.
Ryou didn't even bother to ask where they were, he simply got out of the car so he could check for himself.
The cemetery. Graves everywhere, with willow trees placed sporadically among them.
"I hate the cemetery," Ryou whispers to himself.
The car makes a small ding sound. Ryou turns around to find Bakura at the trunk pulling something out.
A corpse falls to the ground.
Ryou's vision begins to get blurry.
"Wwwhat's…going…on?" Ryou stumbles over his own words.
Bakura looks up at him, as if he's just now noticed Ryou's there.
Suddenly, he lets out a laugh. It's a laugh unlike any of the ones Ryou has heard before it. Bakura's laughs were usually short and sardonic…but this…
This was loud and long and unhinged.
"Stop it!" Ryou shouts, "Stop laughing…and tell me what's going on!"
"I killed him," Bakura says, leisurely, as if he is savoring the words, "Against all logic, I took my knife and drained him of all his blood. I watched him bleed out…slowly…very slowly."
(Ryou gags.)
Bakura laughs again, "I'm sorry, Ryou. I forgot how sensitive you are. How weak you are."
Ryou's fists clench.
"Why did you kill him?" he says with strength (I'll show you who's weak), "Why did you kill him?!"
"He found out," Bakura growls, all of his fake humor gone, along with the insanity, "He was going to kill you."
The wind (and his fake strength) is knocked right out of Ryou, "Me?"
"You," Bakura says softly.
Then he roars, "You! He wasn't after me! He didn't even know about me, he only wanted you!"
(Ryou trembles.)
"I should have let him kill you," Bakura sneers, disgusted.
His words cut through Ryou, wound him. (Ryou hadn't been aware that Bakura had that power over him.)
"Why didn't I let him kill you?" Bakura mutters, looking down at the body.
There is silence as they both stare at the corpse.
Does he have a family? Ryou thinks. A sister, a daughter – a son? Does he even have a name?!
(…Do I…do I deserve to be killed?)
Something lands with a thud beside him. Ryou glances at it. A shovel.
"Start digging," Bakura says, "We need to be finished before sun rise. After all, we have a business to run."
"We?" Ryou asks, drowning in fear and guilt.
A cold smirk, "We."
-0-
They finish.
Ryou's not sure when, he lost grasp on time while digging the grave of a dead man, but they do finish before the sun is up.
"Should I walk home?" Ryou asks, numb, "I think my landlord will notice if I show up in her car."
Bakura leaning against a willow tree, "No. She'll notice if you show up in the middle of the night with mud on your pants, too."
Ryou turns his eyes to the ground. Hmm. All that digging and he hadn't even noticed that it was muddy grass. It must have rained, early. Spring is here, after all.
The words bubble up at the front of Ryou's mouth. He wants to ask Bakura what he should do now and more importantly he wants Bakura to tell him. Command him.
(For once he doesn't want to be the parent. He doesn't want to have to tell Amane don't eat this and go do that. He doesn't want the responsibility of taking care of his sister – taking care of himself. He just wants…)
"Come here."
Ryou obeys. He sits besides Bakura, not caring that the mud will stain his pants.
(What does he want?)
"So," Bakura says, his voice back to its normal cool arrogance, "What's your excuse?"
"Excuse?" Ryou asks, looking up at him.
"Your justification. The thing that gives you an excuse for the horrible thing you've just done. I know you, Ryou. You must have thought of something."
Ryou stares into the distance.
"My sister," he says finally, "I did this…do this for my sister. The money I get from this, I give to her so she can buy her books and pay for college. I've always done everything for my sister! I work two jobs so I can give her extra money. I live in that horrid apartment because it's cheap. I didn't go to college so she could go and not get in debt. I let her use all the money our parents left in their will so that she go to her expensive private school for all four years, when our parents only wanted two for each of us. And when our parents died, I grew up twice as fast so that she wouldn't have too! There! That's my excuse."
Bakura looks down at him, "You're bitter."
Ryou pulls his knees to his chest.
"I'm bitter."
"Well then, Ryou," he purrs, "What's your real reason?"
Ryou closes his eyes.
"I'm sick of working," he whispers, "I'm sick of not doing things just for myself."
He lifts one eye open so he can look at Bakura's expression.
"Does that make sense?" he asks.
"Yes," Bakura says, "But that's not a very good reason."
"I know."
A stretch of silence.
"And you?" Ryou says softly, "Your excuse? Your reason?"
Bakura slides down the truck of the willow tree and sits beside Ryou. His face is twisted in a subtle sort of fury.
"You."
-0-
"Did you hear about the new Palace World they're building downtown, Ryou-kun?" Yuugi whispers as the polish the tables.
"Yes, Yuugi," Ryou sighs, "It's been on the bulletin board for weeks."
"No, I mean, do you know what happened to the workers?"
Ryou stops. His stomach quivers.
"No. What happened to the workers?"
"Well," Yuugi says and lowers his voice a little, "I heard from Honda – his cousin is a painter that PW's hired – that almost all the contractors of the new building are missing!"
Ryou starts polishing again, "You don't say."
"Yeah!" Yuugi nods, "But that's not the weirdest part! Some of the guys that were missing, three I think…they were found dead. All of them had their throats cut. It can't be coincidence, can it?"
"It does seem unlikely," Ryou admits (ignoring that feeling in his gut), "But we shouldn't gossip, should we?"
Yuugi is taken aback, but doesn't mention it for the rest of the night.
-0-
"Big brother!" Amane exclaims as she bursts into the apartment.
Ryou eyes widen, "Amane! But your flight–"
Amane frowns, "Hmpf. I was hoping you'd be asleep, like last time."
It dawns on Ryou.
"You purposely tell me the wrong flight times, don't you?"
Amane presses a kiss to her brother's check, "I like surprising you."
-0-
"It's you, isn't it?" Ryou accuses.
"Of course," Bakura says as he seals the envelope shut.
Ryou is sickened.
"Are you even sorry?" he asks, voice cracking.
Bakura snorts, "No. And neither are you. You just pretend that you are, because you know that's how you should feel. But you don't actually feel it, do you Ryou?"
"I am sorry," Ryou says, as his fists clench.
"Wow. You're more of a liar than I am."
Ryou ignores the insult. He needs to find the reason…or the excuse…anything so that he can ignore this too.
"Why?"
Bakura points to the wads of money next to Ryou's couch and Amane's luggage.
"And–" Ryou asks, hoping, praying for something more.
"That's it."
"That's…it?" Ryou's voice wavers.
"Oh don't act so naïve," Bakura snaps, "You don't mind me killing people when it protects you. But when it gives you money suddenly you–"
Ryou cuts in, "That's different."
"It's not. You just want it to be."
That cold unambiguous truth shocks Ryou into silence.
"You can't keep doing this," Ryou whispers.
"I can," Bakura says, "and I will."
"Please," Ryou begs. (Begging, he's always begging…he hates that…needing something from someone so bad that he has to…)
Bakura eyes him coldly.
Reality was starting to sink in on Ryou.
(People were dying. Because of him. Because he was selfish. Because he was letting it happen.)
"I won't," Ryou says, fists shaking.
Bakura glares, "You won't what?"
Ryou steadies himself, "Let you. I won't let you keep killing people."
Bakura stares at him for a second with an arched brow, as if he expected Ryou to come out and say 'Just kidding!' and everything would return to their normal.
Ryou does no such thing.
Finally, Bakura chuckles. Deep, low, devoid of humor.
"You won't let me? That's rich. You can't do anything. You can't take care of your sister – you can't even take care of yourself! And you plan on stopping me from doing something I wish to accomplish?"
Bakura's up on his feet now. He grabs Ryou by the wrist and pulls the boy to him.
"What are you going to do?" he sneers, "Kill me? You're pathetic. You couldn't even kill someone who was a threat to you – much less me! And you don't even want to. You're so see-through, Ryou. You only say these things as an act."
"I mean it," Ryou says, looking him in his eyes.
Bakura growls, "And if you did…you can't stop me. You can't do anything. You're entirely worthless."
He lets go of Ryou's wrist.
"I suggest you find a way to get rid of your sister, because I'll be here tomorrow."
Ryou watches him leave, unsure.
(Of what?)
-0-
"Are you okay Ryou?"
("Worthless. You're worthless.")
"Fine, Yuugi-kun."
"Ryou," Yuugi moans.
"I'm fine, Yuugi, honest."
"Your sister is in town, right?" asks Yuugi.
Ryou nods.
"You should take her down to the new Palace World. It opens tonight! I heard any PW employees get a discount too."
"Are you going?" Ryou inquires.
Yuugi shakes his head, "Can't. Honda's having his birthday party tonight."
Ryou looks up, a bit hurt.
"Normally I'd totally invite you along," Yuugi defends, "It's just that Jou planned it and…well…"
Yuugi blushes.
"It's at a strip club," he blurts out, "and I don't think you'd want Amane there."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Well," Ryou muses, "Maybe Palace World isn't such a bad idea."
-0-
"That's the worst idea ever," Amane says, crossing her arms.
Ryou sighs; Bakura will be here any minute.
"Come on Amane, don't you think that Hana–"
"Her name's Hikari."
"Hikari would think it would be fun?"
"No. I think she would think it's stupid. Because it is," Amane huffs.
She's always been this disagreeable. Even when she was little.
"Really?" Ryou asks, "Because I called her about thirty minutes ago and she said she'd meet you there at seven and it's seven fifteen right now."
"You did what?!" Amane shouts, "You had no right! I'm an adult, Ryou! I can make decisions for myself."
"Of course you can," Ryou says, the words flying out of him, "You just don't make good ones."
Amane looks as if her she's been slapped across the face. Her green eyes have never been so wide.
"How dare you?!" she snarls.
Realization washes over Ryou, "Amane I'm sorry – you know I didn't mean –"
"Shut up!" she screams, stamping her foot. (God she's such a child, she's always gotten to be such a child.)
"I can't stand you sometimes!" she bellows, "You act so high and mighty all the time, Ryou. Like you're an unflinching moral compass! You're not perfect! You have no right to tell me what to do!"
Ryou retracts, "I only do what I think our parents would have wanted for you…"
"Well I have news for you, Ryou!" Amane sneers, "You're not our parents! No matter how hard you try to be! You've never been my parent!"
The door slams shut behind her.
-0-
"You heard."
It's not a question.
Bakura's grip tightens around Ryou in a sort-of embrace.
"Of course."
(The words sound more bitter than usual, but Ryou is so lost he just barely registers it.)
-0-
Amane doesn't come home the next night. Or ever.
A knock on his apartment door wakes Ryou up.
"Hello?" he says.
"Hello," says the police officer, "Are you Ryou Inoue? Brother of Amane Inoue?"
Ryou frowns, "Yes…what is this about?"
"It is with deep regret that I must inform you that…"
(Ryou doesn't hear much after that.)
-0-
It's a beautiful day for a beautiful funeral.
Amane always had a lot of friends; add on the freak nature and media sensation of her death (he could see the headlines when he closed his eyes, 'Terrorist Attack on Palace World?' – 'Death Toll 50 and Rising!') and it makes for a packed funeral.
And packed it is.
Ryou wonders how many of these people really knew her. How many of them really loved her.
(He wonders if he'd count.)
There was plenty of money for a nice casket too. Amane's friends were very wealthy and generous.
Of course they were. Of course they were.
Yuugi is there, holding his hand the entire time. (Ryou can't feel it.)
Bakura is there too. Ryou can't see him, but he knows he's there. He's always there.
Ryou doesn't give her a eulogy. He hadn't stood up in front of everyone and given his parents a eulogy – so why break tradition now? (Besides! What would he say? She was funny and bright and childish and bratty and my reason for living and the one person I hated more than anyone? I'm glad she's dead! What will I do without her?)
He sobs, loud enough for Yuugi to hear him.
(What would he say? What should he say?)
The rest of the funeral is a daze. A bright, sun-filled daze. People come to him, offering him condolences, conspiracy theories, and fond memories of Amane.
He doesn't hear them. Not really.
She is lowered into the ground without a fuss. Ryou gives her roses, even though dandelions were her favorite. People expect him to give her roses, so he'll give her roses. It's not like she can tell. She's dead.
Her tombstone is shiny. A lot prettier than their parents'.
-0-
"Ryou," Yuugi says, his voice drenched in misery, "Ryou, everyone's gone. It's time to go."
He's on his knees. The muddy grass will stain his pants, just like it did the last time he buried someone.
"I did this, didn't I?" he says, clutching the dirt.
"What! No, Ryou! It's not your fault – that explosion was a freak accident – no one could have ever predicted something like that!" Yuugi assures him.
But he wasn't asking Yuugi.
"I made her go. She didn't want to go. I made her."
(Because, no matter what she said, I'm her father and she will do what I tell her.)
"And?" Yuugi shouts (he's probably crying), "I gave you the idea in the first place! If anything it's my fault!"
Ryou hunches closer to the ground.
"It's mine. She's dead. Yuugi-kun…she's really-!"
Ryou breaks off into a loud sob-scream. He's alone; she's gone. She hated him! In the last moments of her life she hated him!
(Maybe she'd always hated him…)
Amane.
Ryou looks up.
There her name is, carved in stone, elegant and permanent.
It's wrong. That's wrong. That…shouldn't be.
His hands begin to move. The dirt is pushed to the wayside.
(He has to fix this. His always taken care of Amane and he can't stop now when everything is so wrong! It's his job and his duty and – )
The dirt is flying in every direction.
"Ryou!" Yuugi screams at the top his lungs, "Ryou! Ryou stop this! Oh God…stop!"
Ryou feels hands wrap around him trying to stop him.
(Why? Doesn't Yuugi understand? It's not right. He needs to go back. He needs to fix this. It's all his fault…)
It's always been his fault!
(…if he could just go back. He'd do it definitely! He gets it now! Right is right and wrong is wrong! And the moment he saw that money he should have ran. Ran far away and never looked back. Should have never taken a second glance at Bakura and his commands and…if he could do it over. He could fix this. It was too sudden and too cliché to end this way. If he could just do it over again. He just needs the chance. Just one chance!)
"Ryou please stop," Yuugi whispers, holding on tight, "Please, please stop."
"But it's all wrong, Yuugi-kun," Ryou mutters, "I have to fix it. I'm the only family she has left…"
Yuugi squeezes tighter.
"You can't fix it, Ryou. It's done."
Ryou trembles.
"Let her go."
-0-
"You knew," Ryou says, to the shadow on his wall, "You always knew."
The shadow emerges, eyes cold.
"How could you?" Ryou whispers – whimpers.
"You! It's always about you," Bakura sneers, "All the things I've done for you and you have the nerve to act as if I've caused you nothing but pain. And you've never done a thing for me in return! I saved you!"
"You damned me!" he exclaims, still not looking him the eyes, "And you did it on purpose."
"You let me. You wanted me too."
Ryou says nothing to that.
"Go away," Ryou says after a while, "I'm done. My family's dead. I think…I think I'm dead too. Just leave me alone."
Something flashes through Bakura's steel eyes. He grabs a hold of Ryou's arms and slams him into the wall.
"What is wrong with you?" he shouts (Ryou's never seen Bakura this angry before), "I've been an orphan my whole life and I never – I don't understand you – You were happy! Remember? You were happy with doing as I told you to – I was happy! How does this change anything? She said those things to you – you must think she deserved to die for that! You hated her! How can you mourn her like this? Don't lie to yourself – you hated her!"
"She was my sister and I loved her!" The words ripe from Ryou's throat with brutal honest. They're true. They're true.
(For a second it fills him with happiness, because he does, he does love her, until he realizes…)
They're true.
He loves her and she's gone.
Ryou feels the weakness coming on and tries desperately to hold back his tears. Bakura tightens his grip and lowers his voice.
Ryou rolls his eyes away from him. His family portrait is on the other wall. It's dusty…when this is all over he would have to clean…
"I won't let you continue on like this. We have other things to do," Bakura says. Commands.
"You won't let me?" Ryou asks.
"I won't."
Ryou could almost laugh.
"What are you going to do to stop me from caring about my sister? Kill me?" he sneers.
Bakura cringes and glares.
"You couldn't kill me, though, could you? Even if you wanted to. Maybe you do want to."
Ryou breaks out of his hold and stumbles towards his bedroom.
"It shouldn't matter, though. I'm worthless, remember?"
He shuts the door behind him.
"Worthless."
-0-
The phone rings. Ryou doesn't want to pick it up, but the answering machine does it for him.
"Hey, Ryou. It's me," Yuugi says, "I know you're there. You don't have to pick up if you don't want to. I just need to know you can hear me. I want you to know that I'm here, I've always been right here. If you need…when you need me, call me back. I'm not going anywhere."
-0-
He dreams that night. About the cemetery. Amane is dancing on her grave, while her father (her real father, not Ryou) scolds her. Her mother laughs.
Ryou watches from afar, clinging to a tree, with Bakura next to him whispering,
"Let's go."
The sirens awaken him. It's as if he knows they're for him.
Ryou jumps out of bed, adrenaline pumping, heart racing, knowing, just knowing that the cops are coming for him.
His body says to run. He should run.
(Shouldn't he?)
The door to his bedroom swings open. There Bakura is, trench coat billowing, drenched in blood. (Would Ryou have him any other way?)
"They'll be here in five minutes. We have to go."
Ryou looks at him with interest.
"We?"
"We."
The sirens wail louder, begging to be heard.
Bakura races to the other side of Ryou's bedroom and opens the window. The fire escape lies outside of it.
"Let's go."
It is Bakura, so it is not a request and it is not spoken gently. (It is not anything Ryou would have ever wanted or wished for…but somehow, his fate and his choices have led him up to this point…)
Bakura offers his hand.
There is blood on it and it could smear on Ryou's own if he dares to accept.
Acceptance.
Sins will always exist. Jealousy and bitterness will always exist. Love too.
His worth will always change.
The blood will smear.
(And maybe…maybe that's alright.)
Bakura's hand is warmer than Ryou thought it would be.
A/N I'm still not sure how this chapter happened. It was soooooo different in my head and then it turned out...like this.
Review, please!
