Lots of things happened last chapter I know. Poor Gale... So I'm hoping to show you guys just how much Annie is insecure about herself. I'm not trying to make Annie ugly, because she really is beautiful (she doesn't see it). She isn't as skinny as the other girls therefore she doesn't like herself.

AHH FANNIE CONFRONTATION!

Longish chapter for you guys since its been a long time that I posted.

Word Count: 3,611

Annie's Point of View

I look into my mirror. Every time I do I see my huge thighs. Whenever I glance at my hips I remember that I don't have curves. My hands find my stomach, all I feel is my fat self. What I hate the most is my face. Its uneven in so many ways. Those chubby cheeks of mine turn redden easily. This nose I'm stuck with feels too small. I don't even want to look at my lips, those things are just too huge. I wish I could change myself so that those kids at school stop making fun of me. So that people will look at me like I'm a person and not a dog. So that I have enough confidence to actually talk to people without getting embarrassed or self conscious. I just want to be beautiful.

But I don't have time for that. I have to get to work. I place my hair in an easy pony-tail. Then I tug a red polo shirt on with a white pair of comfy shorts and finally expensive red sneakers my Uncle bought me. I told him I was fine working in my usual flip flops but he told me that I should be wearing something more comfortable because I'm standing most of the time. I'm going to pay him back even though he told me not to. Its the right thing to do.

Striding downstairs I pass Uncle sitting at the table reading the newspaper. He looks at me with his hopeful eyes. I stand next to him placing a kiss on his cheek, he does the same to me placing an arm around my waist giving me a tight squeeze. I tell him I love him once his arm releases me. I don't know what I would do without him. Since I was little when not only my father but my mother left me, I would probably be in a foster home if it weren't for him. I owe him everything.

One I get out the door a cool autumn breeze caresses my face. I love this weather. Warm yet comfortable at the same time. The twenty minutes it takes to get to work I walk. As I make my way to the beach entrance I notice most of the workers are gathered around the concession stand. I know I'm not late I always leave and arrive at the same time. Maybe its just a meeting, which is surprising because Ms. Fish doesn't call many of these. It must be important. Quietly I slip in next to one of the girls I run the food stand with. She gives me a nod which I shyly smile at. Ms. Fish notices my attendance, giving me a wink as she continues addressing the crowd.

"...so pass these around. I tried organizing this so that people can be with others that they get along well with. We will gather again right before the end of the day to discuss how everyone feels about their new work shift, but if you feel more comfortable talking about this privately just let me know." as she passes around a pile of paper what I assume to be our new rotation

A boy that usually life guards passes the pile to me. Taking one, I can't wait to know what my new schedule looks like. Before I take a look at it though I pass the pile to my left. Finally I lay my eyes on the white paper. It looks like a diagram; using boxes, small symbols, and numbers. I find my name in a 'Monday Box' with a small bathing suit symbol. I've never life-guarded before so hopefully the person I'm working with can me help me with that. Heck, I don't even know how to swim. I know, with living in District Four which is mostly made up of ocean its pretty sad that I haven't found the time to learn how to swim. Plus its a survival skill, if I'm lost at sea and can't swim or even float, I'm a goner. It looks like I'm working with Finnick.

That means Finnick will have to teach me how to swim. My cheeks instantly warm and are mostly like red. Its not that I hate him, its just that whenever I see him I feel extremely insecure. I feel like I'm naked and he's thinking about how ugly and wimpy I must be. Now I have to rely on him to teach me to swim. All the air in my lungs drifts away with the wind. Its all coming to me now. If he's going to show me the proper techniques of swimming then that implies a bathing suit. A bathing suit implies him seeing my legs, and arms, and plus bathing suits are super tight. What if he can see my fat stomach through the thin material?

I don't think I can do this. I'm definitely not comfortable with any of this... Well maybe I can if I get to work with someone else. Yeah, I just have to talk to Ms. Fish about this. She can switch me out with someone. I feel a lot better now. My cheeks soften, slowly going back to their normal selves. I take this out of my head to keep me from worrying. Let me check the rest of my schedule.

Sliding my eyes over to the next box it says that I have the concession stand with Nelly. Okay I can do that, plus I'm actually comfortable conversing with Nelly. Next box looks exactly like the Monday box. The Thursday box looks like the Tuesday box and the Friday box looks like the Monday and Wednesday box. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I life guard with Finnick. Tuesday and Thursday I control the food stand with Nelly. Now I know I can't life guard with Finnick especially since its three times a week.

Ms. Fish is still talking about something but I'm too busy noticing the way a tall bronze haired boy is looking- no staring at me. His eyes are somewhat wide and his mouth is relaxed. Why is Finnick Odair staring at me? Wait a minute! He would never be staring at me its probably someone past me and it just looks like he's watching me. I'm sure that's what it is. I look back up to Ms. Fish explaining how the diagram is set up. Trying my hardest to pay attention is a struggle considering I can still see Finnick, looking at someone past me, from the corner of my eye. I can't help it, I shoot him an annoyed look. He seems unfazed. I just have to ignore him.

As my boss finishes talking to us everybody goes off their own separate ways to make conversation with others. I stay where I am by myself because its not like I have friends at work. Just then a lean figure approaches me. Finnick stands by my side awkwardly, I pretend I don't notice him by studying my paper. Just when I turn to walk away because this is becoming totally uncomfortable he gently grabs my elbow. The feel of his calloused thumb pressing against my skin surprises me enough to quickly face him. If my heart could explode it probably would have already. He looks surprised as well, with a shy grin on his face.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." his smooth voice says

"It's okay." is all I can think of saying. I don't look at him though simply watch my fingers rub the spot on my elbow his hand touched. I'm not sure he heard me it sounded more like I was talking to myself.

"Um so... it says we're life guarding today, Wednesday and uhhh Friday." he tells me pointing at our names on each box.

"Yeah." Why do I get so tense around him?

"I'm looking forward to that actually." I can practically feel the smile on his face

"Oh why?" I say trying to look at him this time but the second I make contact with those green orbs I avert mine back to my arm.

"Well... I... just yah know... wanted to..." He reaches an arm around to nervously rub his neck. Something tells me he let his last comment slip out on accident.

"It's okay." I say. It feels like centuries until he manages to find something to say.

"So you've never life guarded before have you?" he asks kindly clearly changing the subject

"No I haven't" I manage out

"Well I'd be happy to help, if you want that is." he responds shyly

"Thank you." Did I just accept his offer? What am I doing?

"Really? How about we meet here as soon as school is over tomorrow? Before work starts that is. I could teach you everything you need to know." he says excitedly

"Sure." What is wrong with me? I do not want him to see me in a bathing suit! Now I've just confirmed plans with him for tomorrow!

"Great! Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow after school. Don't forget your bathing suit." he calls out before turning to go to the employee locker rooms.

Oh lord what have I just done? Plus its not like I can just cancel on him. He looked so happy just then, practically skipping away at the thought. I raise my head, it aching from staring at my arm the whole time. My eyes just manage to find him slipping into the locker room. He smiles at me before disappearing. Do I tell my boss about this? If I do I'll crush our plans and ultimately his feelings. If I don't I'll be uncomfortably exposed to him in only a bathing suit.

I've always been very self conscious of my body. I don't like any of it. It's hard for me to accept the way I look and have confidence in myself. The girls and some guys at school don't help with that either. The things they say about me only make me feel worse. Now if he sees me like this, there's no doubt in my mind that he'll tell people at school how absolutely horrid I look.

Not wasting any time I get to her office. I knock on her door only to be greeted with her warm smile. She tells me to sit on one of red chairs in front of her small desk. Obeying I begin to tell her everything. How I feel about working with Finn, how uncomfortable I feel about wearing such revealing swim wear. Throughout my talking she nods her head as if in agreement. I feel relieved from that. I think she understands where I'm coming from. However when I finish she shoots me a narrowed look. Then she says,

"Annie I don't think I'll be able to do that. You are such a shy girl. I want you to get out of your comfort zone. This will be good for you."

"But-

"No. Now get back to work." she replies and points to the door

Before I jump out of my seat I mumble an apology. Ms. Fish has never yelled at me like that before. I shouldn't be surprised though, she can be a monster when she's angry. I guess I have no choice now but to do the best I can with everything. Once I get out of her office I get to the life guards' stand. Finn is already sitting in the one next to me a few yards away. He watches me climb the steps one by one with his binoculars.

I guess all I can do now is sit here and study the ocean since I can't swim yet.


The last bell of the day rings. This is possibly the first time I've ever dreaded the end of the school day. With regret on my face and a red bathing suit in my backpack I get ready to leave geometry. Hoping Finn doesn't see me I rush out of the building. I don't even want to go to the beach with him, I'm not ready for an awkward walk there. Getting past the parking lot made me nervous but now that I'm almost halfway to the beach I'm worrying about everything. I slow my walk down so I can have a few minutes of privacy before I have to face Finn.

Last night when I got home I didn't eat dinner. I went straight to bed which only made my uncle worry. He came into my room. I pretended I was asleep though. With tears in my eyes I couldn't stand talking to him. I'm always very open with him but I haven't been able to tell him just how I feel about my body. He cares so much for me already I don't want him to worry about something so stupid as my insecurities. This morning when he asked how I've been feeling I told him I was just tired from work. I've told him that several times before and every time he's believed me. This morning though he didn't look so persuaded by my answer. I guess he really is the only person that understands me.

Oh lord. I don't even feel the sand as it stings my feet. Finn waves to me from the beach. I notice the matching red bathing suit on his hips. And his six pack, and the muscles on his arms, and how strong his neck looks, and what it would feel like to tou- Oh my god was I just checking him out? I need to stop, I cannot think of him in that way! One I have no chance, Finnick always goes for the prettiest girls he can find. And two I can barely even talk to him. Shaking my head I try to kick the intimate thoughts out. I go to the locker room to change.

No one is inside yet because its only two thirty, work doesn't start for another hour. I pick a stall and zip open my backpack. I stare at the bathing suit with dread. How on Earth am I going to do this? My hand shakes as I take it out. I undress feeling extremely exposed and cold. Then I slip the suit on. It feels tight in all the wrong places like my stomach. I can just imagine it puffing out. Hurrying I pack my shoes and undergarments in the backpack but put my shirt and shorts on over the suit.

I walk out to the sun. It beats brightly down on me. Good thing I put sun screen on before. I notice Finn stretching on the beach. When I get to where he's standing he gives me a smile and walks over to me. How am I going to look at him with his gigantic masculine chest in my face? He's so much taller than me, its like looking at the stars. Now I have to take my clothes off. I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach. I don't think I can do this. I go to sit down, the pain in my stomach is actually causing me inability to even stand. Finn must notice my worried expression. He goes to sit down next to me on the sand.

"Are you okay Annie?" he asks calmly trying to meet my eyes but I keep them away from him

"Um I don't want to- ow..." I clutch my belly with both hands

"Annie is it your stomach? You can tell me." he says so kindly that my heart melts

"I just don't want to take my..." I can't complete sentences around him. He's only trying to help but with him sitting so close to me, so bare chested, he's making me feel worse. His next comment shocks me awake.

"You don't have to hide from me."

"I'm sorry but I don't feel- comfortable being in just a bathing suit." I feel so stupid right now.

"It's okay. I was the same way actually." he tells me soothingly, still sitting next to me on the sand

"Really?" I say actually looking at him this time

"Yeah just a few years ago. I wouldn't take my shirt off ever, well when I took a shower, but that was it. Then I finally just accepted myself for who I am. I found that I don't want to change myself. I like the way I look."

I find this moment, this second so very intimate. I don't know Finn that much. Sure we go to school together, have some classes together. Yet he seems so comfortable telling me this. Talking to me about something so private. Isn't this a topic you would only tell your friends? Maybe not even them, your best friends? His eyes are rich in care, and niceness. I've never seen this side of him; this vulnerable, open part of him he's hidden away so carefully. It makes me wonder if he's ever told anyone else that. I find comfort in the fact that he knows exactly how I feel. That he's been in the same situation as I am. I feel like I owe him. If he can talk so openly to me I should be able to wear this bathing suit and not feel self conscious.

Taking my eyes off of his I slowly place my hands at the top of my short. I tug with all the strength I have. Those come off revealing my pale legs. The next part is what I'm afraid of most. Before my fingers find the hem of my shirt I take a glance at Finn. He smiles sweetly at me. Not a small smile either. A smile that says "I'm proud of you." Turning away from him I lift my arms above my head tossing the shirt into my backpack. I turn back around only to find his smile wider. I wrap my arms around myself trying to hide from him, even though I know I can't. Looking at the ground I feel his eyes roam my body. I can't help but feel my cheeks warm.

"See? You don't have to hide from me." he says

"Okay."

He walks to the water, ankle deep. Cautiously I stand next to him. It's not that I'm afraid of the water, or drowning its just that I've never really had the chance to learn. He begins by telling me that there are four strokes to swimming but he's only going to teach me the freestyle because its what life guarders use. I listen attentively. When he stretches his arm to bring me deeper in the water (waist high) do I feel nervous. I don't want him to touch me yet when he does I never want him to let go. He stands behind me, takes my limp arms in his long ones. His hands over mine he mimics the motion of your arms as your swimming this particular stroke. Finn presses his chest against my back. I can't help but feel all tingly inside. He's so warm against me.

He must be able to feel the rapid beating of my heart. Once I have that mastered we go deeper and he makes me float. I duck all the way underwater with my back toward the sky. Flutter kicking the way he taught me to, I'm able to float by myself. He seems pleased and tells me that I'm learning fast. Then we walk even further into the ocean until the water his neck high for me and shoulder high for him. He slowly swims across me so I can watch his form. Finn tells me its my turn.

Ducking into the water I try my best. I know I'm not going that fast but I didn't think I would. I remember everything he taught me and use it. I love this feeling of gliding through the water without a care in the world of where I'm going. That no one is hurting my feelings. I think I have fallen in love with...

MWAHAHA! I shall torture you all in a cliffy. Your reviews are like red bulls. The more I get the faster I right. So keep em' coming! Please give me your criticism for this chapter!

Sorry about mistakes I just really wanted to get this chapter out for you- OpalStars