Angel stood on top of the building that had once housed a restaurant. In its day it had housed crowds of hungry people desperate for a taste of the restaurant's renowned dishes. Now it served as a hiding place for the eight refugees as they tried to make their way back to the relative safety of the abbey. As Angel stood on the roof watching the roaming vampires circle them he felt a sense of apprehension unrelated to the footsteps approaching him. "Yeah Buffy,"

"What are you thinking?" She knew him to well.

"I don't think they want to kill us, most of us anyway."

"What do they want then?" Buffy asked

Angel stepped closer to the edge of the roof. "I think they want to hold us here for a while, keep us away from our friends." Angel pictured what horrible fates his friends might now be enduring while he was trapped here. He knew Buffy was picturing the same thing and neither of them needed to say another word. What if one of them was already dead? The abbey would no longer be protected. Even if they were all still alive, there were plenty of non-lethal torments.

"You're killing me!" Gunn fell back on his bed while Anne continued her attack upon him. She found his sensitive spots and was merciless in her tickling. She put her lips on his.

"How about now?" She asked "Are you still dying?"

Gunn pulled her closer to him. "In the best way." Gunn considered that he might need to go check the perimeter, but then decided Faith had it handled. He wanted to stay here in bed with this wonderful woman he had so much in common with. There was only one thing that could disturb his good mood, thinking about the circumstances outside this room. Angel and Buffy were still gone. Just as their resident seer's insanity had been cured Wesley was slipping into the realm of madness himself as a side effect of becoming corporeal again.

Anne stopped. "Are you okay?" It had gotten to the point where she could sense his emotions. They were growing closer by the hour. Gunn was excited and scared by this.

Gunn sat up and Anne sat next to him, leaning into his chest. "I was thinking about the rest of the group. I'm worried about… everybody."

Anne nodded, her hair clinging to the fabric of his shirt. "Me to," Anne thought of the old expression about time and wounds. She could feel her own wounds healing as she moved forward, allowing her past to stay behind. She felt guilty about her recovery, about the happiness she had found with Gunn. Yet she justified it with the realization that she made him just as happy as he made her, and this noble hero truly did deserve happiness. So did his friends, but Anne had no idea how to help them, or even if her help would be welcome. Faith was with Wesley, trying to aid her old watcher. Lorne and Teresa were with Fred, doing the job he had wanted to do, trying to help her remember. Anne didn't know how to help either of these groups and she certainly didn't know how to help Angel or Buffy. None of the group that had remained at the abbey knew where they were, or if they were even okay.

"I'm also kind of curious as to where Harmony went." Gunn said "I'm not worried that she'll betray us, because what can she really do? But I don't like not knowing."

Anne smiled as a humorous thought crossed her mind. "Maybe she's working on a plan to save the world, doing our job for us."

Gunn laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure that's it."

Faith wrapped the fresh layer of gauze around Wesley's wrist. "Is that too tight?"

"It's fine." He spoke in a monotone.

Faith had moved Wesley into the room she used to share with Buffy. She was afraid to leave him alone, letting him out of her sight only when decency demanded. But Wesley hadn't tried to hurt himself again, or even protested Faith's restrictions. He hadn't done much of anything really. Faith could imagine how he was feeling, trapped with his thoughts, knowing he had nowhere to hide. He must feel so alone. "It wasn't your fault you know." She knew it was pointless, but she thought she could try to ease the pain of one bad memory. "What I did."

"I was supposed to look after you." The monotone persisted.

"I made my choice." Faith said "You can't take responsibility for what I did."

"I kidnapped you from Angel, he was getting through to you."

"Nah," Faith didn't know if Angel's intervention at an earlier stage would have worked, probably but she couldn't be sure. However she felt the truth in this particular matter was irrelevant. "I was just playing him. I needed to hit rock bottom before anyone could help me."

Wesley knew she was lying, but couldn't bring himself to care. The other memories were pressing in on him, like the moving walls of an old Indiana Jones movie. "I was so scared."

What memory had prompted that? Perhaps all of them. "You don't need to be now."

"I'm not." That was a lie. He could feel every emotion he had ever felt, they were all there, overburdening his senses. He could feel his brain shutting down at the onslaught of sensation, leaving him a broken husk. It was ironic that a reprieve from a very similar condition was what brought this on. "I wish I could get rid of the good ones, then everything else wouldn't seem so bad." If he could just forget joy and love, sorrow and hate would be bearable.

"Tell me about them. Tell me about the good memories." Faith requested

Wesley didn't want to, didn't even want to think about them but the memories came to him, unbidden. He tried to shut them out but they shouted so loudly. 'Breakfast?' 'I know there are two people I trust absolutely with my life.' 'Virginia I want to be honest with you. I want to tell you everything' 'To family,' 'I belong here.' Wesley jerked his head to the side. He couldn't think of her. He couldn't think of anything to do with her. She had made him so happy just by being there. She should have left, she should have gone back to Texas with her parents. "Lies, deceptions, it was all a trick." He'd hurt her, just by caring, just by loving her.

Faith sat next to him, at a loss. In that moment all she wanted was to save him, like Angel had saved her. She couldn't though, didn't even know how to try. Where was Angel? Faith was sure that if he were here he could fix this. "Hold on Wes, just hold on." Buffy would bring him back, Faith believed in her. Angel would come back and everything would be all right.

Angel ducked and positioned his stake to take down the attacking vampire. This was getting ridiculous. They had made very little headway on their way back to the abbey. Buffy was taking on a cluster of vampires. Conner was in a similar position. Kate and Kennedy were protecting Willow while she tried to heal a stab wound Xander had just acquired. Spike was going nuts, dancing from vamp to vamp. They would have this crowd down soon, but there were more out there. When would she start to run low on soldiers? Angel grabbed a vamp that had been approaching Spike from behind and took him out. "We have to run for it!"

"Why?" Spike asked "We're winning!" They were. There were about thirteen vamps left now and their number were rapidly decreasing.

"We have to get back to the abbey! The Wolf doesn't want us there, and I can't imagine the reason is good!" Angel staked another vamp, the opposing ranks were down to ten-nine.

Spike brushed the dust from nine off his coat. "Let's go then!"

Willow helped Xander to his feet, but stumbled in doing so. All of the healing was taking a lot out of her. She needed to rest. Angel just hoped that would be an option when they got back to the abbey. He thought of the friends waiting there. If they died it was his fault, because he wasn't there to protect them. He shook his head, he would protect them, he would.

Teresa blinked, staring at the empty hallway. It hadn't been empty before. That had been a vision though. She needed to tell somebody. She headed for the room Gunn and Anne had been spending most of their time in recently. There had been a man, walking down the hall. He must be a very bad man for Cordelia to send a vision of him. She turned the corner and saw somebody, not the bad man, but not anyone she knew either.

"Hello," He said "A hybrid right?"

She nodded. This was an evil man. If she screamed the others would be warned and have a chance to defend themselves. However he might kill her for doing so. "I don't want to die."

"So few do." He wasn't human, Teresa wasn't familiar with the species.

"Please," Teresa felt the power drain from her limbs.

"You're not the one I'm after." Teresa felt some relief at that, but not much. She could have guessed that, and whoever he was after was still in danger. "You'll help me find him."

That narrowed the possibilities down. Gunn, Wesley and Lorne were the most probable candidates for this man's target. The vision came to her, but it was a different sort of vision. The thing Cordelia was showing her had already happened. This demon was holding a knife and he stabbed somebody, it hurt. Wesley, he was the wizard who killed Wesley. But Illyria had killed the wizard, Teresa remembered hearing about it. "Everyone's downstairs." Teresa lied

"Hiding?" The wizard questioned

Teresa tried to shake her head, but she was still frozen. "No, watching the werewolves."

The wizard frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Oz and Nina, two werewolves we rescued from the Wolf, are teaching the others to control their condition. They're going to help us fight the Wolf. Everybody is down there watching the demonstration. Listen," Teresa fell silent and could hear the faint barking coming from under the floorboards. It had been louder earlier.

"I see," It certainly sounded convincing. "You will come with me."

Teresa felt herself being pulled, she was sliding down the hall, with no control over her own body. She heard footsteps. "Teresa who are you talking-"

Anne had heard them and left her room to investigate. She had approached at such an angle so that she couldn't see the wizard at first. When she saw him she screamed and ran into the nearest room just in time to escape the blast of energy that demolished the door frame of the room she had escaped into. Gunn came running toward the shouting of his new girlfriend. Teresa couldn't see anything, her head was stuck facing forward.

After a few moments where she was essentially blind Teresa collapsed to the ground when the force keeping her still suddenly dissolved. The wizard ran by her, blood leaking from his arm. Anne approached Teresa and helped her to her feet. "He's headed for the basement."

"How do you know?" Gunn asked as he advanced carrying a crossbow.

"I told him that's where everybody was." Teresa explained "I thought he might get torn apart by werewolves." Teresa rubbed her twitching muscles.

"Are you crazy?" Gunn asked "Not everyone down there is transformed and even those who are can still get killed by a good blast. Even if they do kill him innocent people will die!"

Anne winced sympathetically when she saw Teresa's cowed expression, obvious even on her demonic features. Anne remembered her own far worse screw-up. "I'm sure it's the best she could do under the circumstances." Anne said "At least you know where he's going."

"He wants to kill Wesley." Teresa added more information. "Him and at least one other person. I was on my way to tell you about the vision I had when I ran into him."

Gunn nodded. "I'll cut him off before he gets to the basement. Get Fred, Lorne, and Wes somewhere safe. Have Faith meet me at the basement door. Slayer backup would be nice."

Anne and Teresa headed for Fred's room, the room she had shared with Teresa when they were both crazy. Gunn ran for the basement.

"And it just isn't fair!" Harmony whined to the three demons cowered under a collapsed wall while they wondered which was worse, wandering the desolate landscape of L.A. or listening to Harmony talk. "I tried to help, really I did. It's just I'm not good at being good. The thing is I'm not good at being bad either. I don't know my purpose. I thought I did when Cordelia kissed me- like not in a lesbo way though- it was like I'd been changed somehow. I felt this sense of belonging and understanding." Harmony sighed. "Life is just so hard. Yeah, I ran when things got tough, but there were like a hundred vampires there." Harmony plopped down on the ground next to the non-violent demons who were wondering if annoying vampires qualified. "I bet they didn't even notice I was gone." She huffed

One of the demons had an inspiration for getting rid of her. "I bet if you went back they'd be really excited to see you." The other demons looked at his like he was crazy.

"You think?!" Harmony jumped up, exuberant "They'll be so happy I didn't go over to the dark side. I bet Spike really misses me. We used to have a thing, he's still not over it."

The demon nodded. "You should go over there, now might be a good time."

"You don't think I should wait a while, make them really miss me?"

All three demons shook their heads emphatically. "No," The first demon said "The sooner you arrive the more they'll appreciate that you came back. Go now," He ushered

"Thanks guys," Harmony said "You're the greatest."

As Harmony headed back toward the abbey one of the demons extended his hand to his friend who had gotten rid of the bothersome bloodsucker. They hi-fived.

Fred sat with her back to the wall, arms wrapped around her knees. Something was happening, but what? She tried to think, but thinking was so hard. Things were coming back, she could feel them. Things came together, recollections reformed but they were so slow. She remembered everything, but it was all in the wrong order. There were people she knew, but she couldn't remember if she had known them or knew them still. There were memories that didn't make sense when held next to each other, the puzzle pieces that fit between them were in a jumbled pile somewhere else. So little made sense. Wesley was in her memories. He was very important. So where Angel, Gunn, Cordelia, Lorne, and Conner. Conner was a baby. Conner was a grown-up. Where was the in-betweens? Why hadn't she aged between those memories? Was she a vampire? No, vampires weren't real. But they were, Angel was a vampire. He saved her from monsters. Except he didn't, and she died. She died and she came back, came back and was broken. Fred looked around the room. There was Gunn. They were dating, had dated, or something. There was Lorne. He was Pylean. He was her friend, no, she hated Pyleans. There were two women. One was a demon. Demons were bad, except when they were good. Fred slipped back inside, looking for the missing pieces. She just had to watch out for the blue.

Fred sat with her back to the wall, arms wrapped around her knees. Gunn wondered what she was thinking about. "He must have known she was lying. Anyway he never showed. Nina and Oz have the door locked and every werewolf is transformed. They can't be any more prepared, they should all be safe. I headed straight here afterwards in case he doubled back."

Lorne nodded. "You need to find Faith. A slayer should be able to handle this."

"He's also a wizard." Teresa reminded them all "A witch like Willow would be good right about now. Plus don't forget the other guy."

"Willow's not here." Gunn snapped "As for this other guy, we'll look for him when we've taken the wizard down. He's killed once before so this guy is no joke."

"Where is Wesley?" Anne asked, remembering who she'd been told that first kill was

"He should be with Faith." Gunn tried to sound confident, but he didn't, he sounded terrified. There was no way he was going to let his friend die twice, especially after he had so recently been given a new lease on life. That being said… "You said the wizard is after Wesley specifically?" Gunn asked, his mind working at full speed

"That's what my vision told me." Teresa confirmed

"The Wolf, she's pissed about the haywire sacrifice. She wants to take back what she inadvertently gave him. She must have brought the wizard back to life."

"In a manner of speaking." Teresa said

"What?" Gunn asked, annoyed

"I don't think he's alive, not really, something's missing."

"Such as?" Gunn hoped a vulnerability would be forthcoming. He didn't have a lot of defenses against magic. "Is he weaker?"

Teresa shook her head. "I don't think he has any autonomy."

"Does that make his less of a threat?" Anne asked

"No," Teresa said "It makes him more of a threat. He will only do the bidding of the one that raised him, without regard for personal safety. He'll kill Wesley, or die trying."

Gunn raised his crossbow and reached for the door. "I'm going to have to select option number two." He felt Anne reach for his arm and shrugged her off. "Stay here."

"Do you have a plan?" Lorne asked "I'm rather fond of those."

"Of course I have a plan." Gunn said "Kill the fugly demon, no offense."

"So the usual plan then." Lorne said dryly, more upset with Gunn for putting himself in harm's way than for his unintentional insult.

"Yep," Gunn slammed the door on the way out.

Faith hit the ground hard. The concussive force that had hit her had landed in the center of her chest, sending her flying into the bed, the wooden bedframe banging her vertebrae. She stumbled to her feet, ready to face the new threat. The red-skinned monstrosity was lifting a hand toward the impassive Wesley, ignoring Faith. She whistled. "Hey, I'm right here."

"You are of no concern to me." The wizard said

Faith kicked the already weakened bedframe, splintering it and separating one bed post from the rest of the frame. She swung the post at the wizard. He fell to the ground. Scowling, although it was hard to tell on his face, the wizard extended his hand. Faith slid back, hitting the dresser that stood against the far wall. She tried to pull herself up, but felt all energy drain from her limbs. The wizard pulled out a knife. "Remember this?" He asked Wesley "I'm going to use it to gut your friend, just like I did you. Then I'll gut you again."

"Ah excuse me?" A whiny nasally voice objected "That's pretty rude."

The wizard turned to see a blond vampire standing in the doorway. "Who is this bothersome creature?" He asked in an exasperated tone

"Harmony," She said "I'm here to kick your ass."

"Right," The wizard said in a most derisive voice "I'm sure." He pointed at her and Harmony stiffened. Faith felt her own paralysis slightly weaken. She began to crawl forward at a sluggish pace, she felt like she was swimming in a pool of molasses. "A vampire," The wizard said "Don't tell me you have a soul as well, it's a tedious trend."

"Nope," Harmony said "I'm good soulless." The wizard returned his knife to the folds of his robe and picked up a sharp piece of the broken bedframe. "In fact," Harmony said in a panicked tone "I'm evil. I want to join your side." The wizard raised the stake. "I'll help you kill him. We can torture him, and the slayer. Please don't stake me! I was only with these guys because I'm opportunistic. I'm an evil opportunist, an opportunistic evil…thing."

"Are you done?" The wizard asked, annoyed

"No?" Harmony tried

"To bad," The wizard brought the stake forward, but dropped it and his hold over Harmony when Faith rose without him noticing, picked up her makeshift club, and then smacked him in the spine with it. The wizard turned, furious. Harmony reached inside his robe and grabbed the knife. She plunged it into the wizard's gut, unknowingly mirroring the way he had killed Wesley. The wizard reached for her hand to pull out the knife, but she just pushed harder while Faith bludgeoned the wizard. He fell to the ground and in his dying moments used every last bit of strength he had on a charm which expelled the women from the room. Faith and Harmony tumbled into the hall, where Harmony almost knocked down a sturdy Englishman. He stepped into the room, looking at the Wizard's body with an apathetic fascination.

"So like us, yet so different," He looked at Wesley, still huddled in the corner. "But not really, right Wesley? We can be just like them, if we're desperate enough."

"You're dead." Wesley said, terror in every syllable. "You're dead Holtz."

Faith tried to enter the room, but the wizard's death did not end his charm. It barred her from entrance into the room. Holtz looked at her with a bored expression. "Yes, but so are you."

"I'm nothing like you." Wesley insisted, not believing a word of it

"You're exactly like me." Holtz assured him

"No," Wesley tried to retreat further into the wall, but there was no way to put more distance between himself and Holtz. "You're insane, driven mad by vengeance."

"You're insane." Holtz reminded him "Vengeance was all I had left. What do you have left? Do you have family? No, like me you don't have that. Do you have friends? No, like me you drove them away. You have nothing. You are nothing. You are still a ghost, just a ghost who can feel. I at least had my vengeance, what do you have?"

Faith and Harmony could see the pair, but they couldn't hear anything through the barrier. Faith slammed her fists against it, but they just bounced off. She screamed in frustration.

"No response?" Holtz asked and when Wesley remained silent Holtz pulled the knife from the twice-killed wizard. "Were you afraid of him?"

"Yes, I was. I fear death." Wesley confessed "It was not enjoyable."

Holtz nodded, approaching him with the knife. Wesley could see Faith on the other side of the barrier, trying to get through. Gunn was there now as well. Both were so desperate to get in and save him. Holtz ignored them. "Yet you fear me more, and one other person more still."

Wesley saw Faith's hand almost enter the room and then bounce back, the spell was weakening with its caster dead. Wesley could distract Holtz, keep him talking until Gunn and Faith broke through. He could also alert Holtz, make sure the man did kill him. Wesley considered both options. "Of course I fear you." Wesley said "You're my boogeyman."

"I'm the thing that keeps you up at night? Why?"

"You tricked me, you used me. All of my fears and insecurities, you manipulated them for your own ends. You destroyed my life." Wesley accused

"You destroyed your own life." Holtz said "I just helped you realize your true self."

"I don't accept that." Faith's hand definitely passed through the barrier for a moment.

"You don't have to. The only thing you have to do now is die. I almost feel bad. You were such a great help to me. I wanted to destroy Angelus's only chance of happiness and you made that possible. You took the only thing he loved, everything he loved. Thanks,"

"Shut up," Wesley closed his eyes, trying not to remember. The pillow over his face, the promise of death. He had been so angry, but at no one more than himself. Still, he had thought they would try to understand, thought they would at least listen. "You had that bitch slit my throat. I could have bled out in the dirt and you wouldn't have cared."

Holtz chuckled. "Wesley lad, you could have bled out in the dirt and nobody would have cared. Some might be pleased, but no one would really care." Wesley had to admit he walked into that one. "Not even your terrors, the things that keep you up at night, care. They didn't hate you. That wizard likened your murder to swatting a gnat. I only ever cared about Angelus and Stephen. As for your greatest fear, he never even met you." Holtz knelt in front of Wesley and pressed the knife against his throat. "Are you going to struggle? I'll cut deeper than Justine did, the pain won't last for nearly as long." Justine, that stupid bitch, how he hated her.

Wesley grabbed Holtz's arm and shoved him back. Just as Faith and Gunn broke through the barrier Wesley wrestled the knife from the dead man and plunged it into his heart. "I guess you're right, that didn't hurt at all." Wesley straightened and turned to look at his friends. His eyes widened in horror as he saw who was approaching them from behind them. He stepped back and tripped over the remains of the bed, falling over Holtz. Blood staining his hands he crawled back into the corner. "You can't be here. You can't."

"Wes," Gunn said soothingly "Don't worry man, you're safe."

Billy grabbed Gunn's hand, which he quickly snatched away. When Gunn saw who had touched him his own eyes widened. "Oh no," he murmured "Son of a bitch!"

"We're all sons of bitches and whores." Billy assured him "Each of us is birthed by some unclean thing, probably as a ploy to gain some power in the world. How else can they?"

"What?" Faith said "Who is this freak?"

"Faith," Gunn said "Listen, I need you to restrain me. In some unspecified span of time I'm going to turn into a homicidal lunatic. I need you to tie me up, preferably away from anyone." Faith started to back away from Billy, having connected the dots and wary of his touch.

"It only works on men." Gunn assured her

Billy stepped into the room. "So, I'm the thing you most fear. How funny is that?"

"I have to help Wesley." Faith said "Go ask Lorne to tie you up." Gunn punched Faith in the face. She retreated more from shock than from pain. "What the-oh,"

Gunn advanced on her and Faith was distracted by containing Gunn without hurting him with her slayer strength. Wesley drew the knife from Holtz and held it out toward Billy. "Stay back," He warned "I'll kill you as easily as I did him. Easier, there's no humanity in you."

"You could do that." Billy said "Or you could turn that knife on yourself. You and I both know there is only one way this can play out. If you kill me you'll get my blood all over your hands, far more than you did last time. You'll be a killer again, and maybe this time you won't snap out of it. What if poor Fred were to come by to see you and get all diced up for her trouble?" Billy chuckled "Not at first of course; that comes later."

Wesley pointed the knife at Billy with trembling hands. "Shut your filthy mouth."

Billy stepped closer. "The only way to protect everyone from you is to kill yourself. I'm not just talking about my influence." Billy kicked Holtz's lifeless corpse. "You've proven you can hurt the ones you love with no outside assistance. Now, do you want to die now, as yourself or do you want to die under my influence when one of your friends has to put you down? Spare them that Wes, kill yourself. Don't be so selfish. There's nothing for you here anyway."

Billy grinned and took one step closer to Wesley. Faith ran into the room and grabbed Billy, throwing him into the hall. He lay sprawled on the ground next to a bound and gagged Gunn. "You bitch!" Billy howled "How dare you touch me whore?!"

"Someone's got problems with women." Faith said "You should see a therapist."

"Yeah," A voice down the hall said "You really should." Angel stood there with his arms crossed glaring at the demon he had once freed from a hell dimension. "You don't like to stay dead do you?" Angel asked "Maybe the third time's the charm."

Billy laughed. "Do you have the guts to do it yourself this time, or are you going to rely on another one of your whores to do your dirty work for you?"

Angel stepped aside to reveal Buffy pointing a crossbow at Billy's head. Angel smirked at the doomed half-demon. "I'm going to have to take the third option."

Buffy pulled the trigger and the crossbow bolt landed right between Billy's eyes. He crumpled to the floor like a ragdoll. "I don't like that guy." Buffy said

Angel ran down the hall to look into the room where two bodies lay on the floor. Wesley was still standing against the wall holding the knife in his limp hand. Angel approached cautiously. "Wes, want to hand me that?" Angel reached for the knife and Wesley relinquished it without complaint. "Are you okay man?" There was no response. "Wesley?"

Wes looked at Angel as if noticing him for the first time. He looked at the blood on his hands. "She didn't want to kill me. She wanted me to kill myself."

Angel nodded. "Well that wasn't a very good plan."

"It almost worked." Wesley said as though confessing the time of day rather than the fact he had almost killed himself. "If you hadn't shown up I was going to do it."

"Well I did." Angel said "So there's no need to- Jesus Wesley why would you do such a thing? Buffy said when she left you were fine, what happened?"

"Nothing's changed." Wesley said "I should still do it."

Angel stepped back in horror. "What?!"

"I'm a danger to everyone here. The Wolf wants me dead for taking what belonged to her sister. She feels she's been made a fool of since she kept me here by not firing me. If I stay here I put everyone in danger. You don't need me, I should just eliminate the problem."

"Are you insane?" Angel asked, vaguely aware of the small crowd standing just outside the door, this time kept back by a barrier of discretion rather than magic. "I do need you."

That wasn't what Wesley expected to hear. "What?"

"I've needed you for a long time, I never stopped."

"After Conner-" Wesley started to object

"I lost my son and my best friend." Angel said "I went nuts. I still needed you. I couldn't admit it then what with the homicidal rage and all, but I needed you. I still need you and when I try to picture the future I can't really see one where I ever won't. So I don't care what you want or how you're feeling, but you don't get to kill yourself, okay?" Angel waited.

Wesley took a few moments to process this. "I'm no good to you, not like this."

Angel shrugged. "Fix yourself then. You came back from the dead, you can't come back from the brink of insanity? We've seen it done before."

Wesley sighed. "I'm tired." He said as he slid to the floor

Angel walked over the two bodies and took a seat on the floor next to him. "I've been putting up with this kind of crap for almost two hundred and fifty years, how do you think I feel?" Angel thought the statement over. "Almost two hundred and fifty, almost."

Wesley chuckled, not 'I'm insane' chuckles, 'Life is weird huh?' chuckles. "Why did we think we could win? Why did we think we could get away clean. Nobody can."

"Maybe," Angel said "But maybe if we keep fighting, we'll earn ourselves a happy ending. All I wanted for so long was forgiveness. Now the only person I want to forgive me is you." Wesley looked into Angel's eyes, stunned; he could see the truth written there.

"You want me to forgive you?"

"I should never have asked you to stay." 'Breakfast?' There it was again, that stupid memory. It was one of the worst because of how pure the happiness was. It wasn't built on a foundation of relief that tragedy had passed or forgiveness from anger. The joy of that memory had no baggage, it was just pure delight. He had been so glad to have someone to sit next to, to talk to. He had been so happy to connect to another human being, and a non-human being. He finally got to rest, to forget about being fired, forget about what the council and his father had said. In that moment he had found two other cast aways, and they who were in many ways just as lost if not more than he was, had accepted him at their table. It was a symbolic act, but the symbolism wasn't the important part. The important part was that he was there, in that moment.

"You saved my life." Wesley said "I had never…" What could he say that would truly explain what had happened. How could he put the feelings in words? "No one had ever accepted me before. You knew, what it was like to not…"

"Belong anywhere," Angel said, staring at the opposing wall

"You didn't have to care, didn't have to even admit to yourself what you saw. I was just that annoying guy from Sunnydale who messed everything up. You didn't have to be my friend."

"I wanted to." Angel said

"I let you down."

"I let you down first." Angel thought about this. "And after,"

"I guess we're a little past I'm sorry." Wesley said

"It's still good to hear." Angel said

"I'm sorry,"

Angel turned to meet his friend's eyes. "Wesley I am so sorry. I'm sorry I let any of this happen. I'm sorry for a list of transgressions I won't dredge up because it's too long and you know what they are. I'm sorry for so many things, but I'm not sorry I asked you to stay for breakfast. I forgive you for Conner, I forgive you for everything."

"I forgive you to." Wesley was relieved to hear himself say those words and know they were true. He looked at the two bodies on the ground and felt something new. He felt righteous anger. Not self-destructive rage, not guilt, not all-consuming depression. He was pissed. "I really, really hate those guys." He paused "And the Wolf."

"And the Ram, and the Hart." Angel said

"And the circle of the black thorn,"

"And Hamilton," Angel remembered their fight. "That guy did not want to die."

"Seriously," Wesley sounded exasperated. "Nobody ever stays dead around here."

"It's ridiculous." Angel agreed "Sometimes I enjoy it, but I think you should have to kill a person a maximum of two times before they stay dead."

"Agreed." Wesley said

Angel chuckled. He stood up and offered Wesley a hand. Wesley shook his head. Angel nodded and left, respecting that his friend needed some time to sort his thoughts. He passed Faith untying Gunn as the effects of Billy's mania wore off. Buffy, Harmony and Spike stepped to the side trying to pretend they hadn't been eavesdropping. Angel ignored them all.

"Okay," Spike said when Angel was out of earshot even with vampire hearing. "That was gay." Buffy and Faith both gave him murderous glares. "I know you were both thinking it."

Faith helped Gunn to his feet and Buffy walked off. Spike shrugged and went his own way as well. Truthfully he was glad Wesley and Angel made up. For the first time since this all started he thought their champion might actually have a reason to keep fighting. Yes the possibility of Shansu was gone, but Angel had just realized that he might actually have a happy ending. Sometimes it takes telling somebody else the truth before we can admit it to ourselves.